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RE: The way people see you.. - 4/26/2006 4:59:07 AM   
subjected2006


Posts: 248
Joined: 1/20/2006
Status: offline 		Yes,
it bothers me if someone thinks I am rude.
Unless they are an idiot..in which case I enjoy it.

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a rose is a rose..

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RE: The way people see you.. - 4/26/2006 5:07:49 AM   
smilezz


Posts: 2156
Joined: 6/18/2004
Status: offline 		*chucklez*  but i kind of enjoy 'Esme'..........nothing wrong with a good witch.


~smilezz~

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: The way people see you.. - 4/26/2006 5:39:25 AM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

They know that I won't hold back when they ask for an opinion.  Don't ever ask me if your ass looks fat in those jeans unless you are fully prepared to hear Dammit, you don't know how big your ass is? you looked in the mirror!  But ask me if I think your ass looks good in those jeans and I will tell you, honestly.  


Yanno.... Of all the types of people out there, this is the type I like the most. As for myself... I'm the same way, blunt as all hell and straight to the point -- And it gets me in trouble with people I like and care about, all the time. It's a tough road to hoe.... always wondering who can/can't handle the straight dope.


 - R


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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: The way people see you.. - 4/26/2006 5:54:57 AM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		I think there's a disconnect between the way most people see themselves and how others see them. It doesn't bother me that others may see me differently than I see myself.

As people get to know me over time they get to see more of me, but in reality people only see what I let them and that's situation dependant. At work I'm not going to go and flash my tattoo, talk about how sore and bruised my ass is from the last beating I got or debate which cuffs are better for suspension. At work I'm professional and prefer to stick to work topics or 'safe' topics (the weather, vacation plans, kids, etc). Most people comment that their initial impression of me is that I am quite conservative but they start to realize that's not the case once they get to know me a bit. Most people are multifaceted and realize that not all aspects of their personality are appropriate for all venues and behave accordingly. 

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: The way people see you.. - 4/26/2006 6:33:03 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I go to the wisdom of Alanis Morissette here

"Are you not burdened by the lack of perspective people have of your charmed life seemingly?"

I think we all sometimes get irked by peoples projections, expectations, disappointments, generalizations and more.

But we move beyond them. 

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RE: The way people see you.. - 4/26/2006 6:33:40 AM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline 		I couldn't care less how other people see me. Why on earth would you waste your time and energy worrying about something so utterly irrelevant?

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: The way people see you.. - 4/26/2006 7:47:14 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissyRane

..and the way people expect you are, does it never bother you? That people think you're one way (not in a bad way), but then you're exactly the other way (not in a bad way either though) but you just can't make them realize


A great post MissyRane and a very hard one for Me. I as many went through the early years of life worried about what people thought ( as I think many of us to when we are developing our public persona)--as I began to make My own way, established My foothold in life, I cared less and less--I also learned tolerance---if I didn't care what they thought I could and should not point fingers--(humaness sucks though)--more than a few occupations taught Me tolerance--I developed My sense of self, one I liked, one I could live with, one I felt upheld My spiritual and humanitarian beliefs--and so-- I was.
 
After the death of My mom last summer, the task of cleaning her house and packing her things began-- we had a good life, she was widowed young and as I grew, I took over looking after her--even had 2 companies that I worked for--move her along with Me ( two households) we were a family--the three of us, separate lives but a close family--My decisions,opinions and ideas didn't always gel, but she stood by Me--as I started to pack things--I found a journal, started when My child was small--I smiled, thinking what great things must be in there---I was wrong--there before Me was what she thought of Me, what she thought of Me as a person and as a mother--and it wasn't pretty--although I burned it, the shock of what I saw there still haunts Me, it hasn't changed Me, but it gave Me a valuable, painful lesson that even those closest to you--don't always know.

When someone tends to express shock, dismay, intolerance, or opinions that I am not what they thought ( to the negative of Me)--I tend to walk away, life is too short.

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 4/26/2006 7:50:10 AM >

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RE: The way people see you.. - 4/26/2006 8:35:00 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Oh, Mistress Hathor, what a terrible way to learn such a valuable lesson.  In comparison, Joe Blow's opinion pales pathetically next to that of a parent. 
I can and do empathize.  And I believe that it's having had a similar experience in my own life as well as a wonderful book that taught me how to cope with such things, that have brought me to my own sense of self.

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"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: The way people see you.. - 4/26/2006 9:24:05 AM   
Submotive


Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissyRane

..and the way people expect you are, does it never bother you? That people think you're one way (not in a bad way), but then you're exactly the other way (not in a bad way either though) but you just can't make them realize


It bothers me if Master thinks this because i believe it's important for Him to truly know me for who i am, not who He may THINK i am.  It's my belief that people are perceived more by the thoughts and opinions of the perceiver than by the one being perceived. That's why humility and honest, open communication are critical in any meaningful relationship.

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: The way people see you.. - 4/26/2006 9:30:34 AM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		It can bother me, but I know who I am and my close friends know who I am.
A LOT of people expect one thing when they email or IM or even talk on the phone with me and they are surprised at times. Depending on what is going on at the time, my 'frame of mind' may be different and the way I present myself can be altered by that.
I use to play dumb for a LONG time, until I reaized that a decent number of men LIKE it when a woman is smart, so I stopped playing dumb.
I can be [painfully] shy at times or very bouncy [and perky], it just depends on stuff that is happeneing around me and in my life at that moment, for the most part, I like to keep people guessing, it makes life so much more interesting that way.

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RE: The way people see you.. - 4/26/2006 3:49:59 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FangsNfeet

It's better to keep people guessing than have you figured out. After all, how else are you expected to win at poker?


VERRRRRY low cut blouse

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RE: The way people see you.. - 4/26/2006 8:24:08 PM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		I don't care what others think of me, but I would have been devastated had this happened to me. I don't know what I would have done. It makes me glad that she didn't keep a journal and that I'm of the belief that she and I had this blissfully happy Mother and daughter relationship. I'm very glad to hear that you've been able to move beyond it. You're a strong person.

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RE: The way people see you.. - 4/26/2006 9:09:21 PM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline 		I've thought about this question all day long.  My first reaction was "i don't give a rat's ass what people think about me".  But after pondering the subject, this is not true.  I do care that the people who employee me deem me dependable, trustworthy and compitent.  I do care that my daughter thinks i am someone to whom she could aspire to be like someday.  I do care that the person i enter into a relationship with thinks that i am all that i claim to be.  I do care enough about myself that i will remain true to myself despite the blindness others may have when looking at me.

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RE: The way people see you.. - 4/27/2006 2:10:13 AM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissyRane

..and the way people expect you are, does it never bother you? That people think you're one way (not in a bad way), but then you're exactly the other way (not in a bad way either though) but you just can't make them realize


A great post MissyRane and a very hard one for Me. I as many went through the early years of life worried about what people thought ( as I think many of us to when we are developing our public persona)--as I began to make My own way, established My foothold in life, I cared less and less--I also learned tolerance---if I didn't care what they thought I could and should not point fingers--(humaness sucks though)--more than a few occupations taught Me tolerance--I developed My sense of self, one I liked, one I could live with, one I felt upheld My spiritual and humanitarian beliefs--and so-- I was.
 
After the death of My mom last summer, the task of cleaning her house and packing her things began-- we had a good life, she was widowed young and as I grew, I took over looking after her--even had 2 companies that I worked for--move her along with Me ( two households) we were a family--the three of us, separate lives but a close family--My decisions,opinions and ideas didn't always gel, but she stood by Me--as I started to pack things--I found a journal, started when My child was small--I smiled, thinking what great things must be in there---I was wrong--there before Me was what she thought of Me, what she thought of Me as a person and as a mother--and it wasn't pretty--although I burned it, the shock of what I saw there still haunts Me, it hasn't changed Me, but it gave Me a valuable, painful lesson that even those closest to you--don't always know.

When someone tends to express shock, dismay, intolerance, or opinions that I am not what they thought ( to the negative of Me)--I tend to walk away, life is too short.

I can't even imagine how horrible experience this has been, I'm so sorry to hear this, but I guess we can learn from everything that happends to us..shame when it is the hard way.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: The way people see you.. - 4/27/2006 3:12:45 AM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		I have always dared to be different. It isn’t really a deliberate thing. I just do what I look to do and could really care less what people think. People opinions really don’t bother me, and for some odd reason, in person they keep them to themselves. I am not violent or intimidating, I think anyway, but when people do start flapping that mouth, about me or anyone else, irrespectively I’ll damn sure have words with them about it. I have a standing joke in the chat rooms, however I wish it wasn’t a joke, which applies to people who run their mouths in chat with no fear of reprisal; don’t you wish it was the print home address button instead of the view profile button.
 
I guess it boils down to blatantly disrespecting others. It really tics me off that people can’t debate or show a contrary opinion without the use of insult and profanity. Particularly profanity. We are in a massive communication age and the ability to express and articulate thoughts in an intelligent and civil manner is what we are being judged and measured by. For the most part we are phantom people talking with other phantoms across the world and is it what we do in here that will ultimately give others insights into our being. So in a long-winded way I am saying in this place our words are how we are seen.
 Loki

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: The way people see you.. - 4/27/2006 5:39:57 AM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissyRane

..and the way people expect you are, does it never bother you? That people think you're one way (not in a bad way), but then you're exactly the other way (not in a bad way either though) but you just can't make them realize


I actually do not really care, because I am one of those people that do not care what other people think of Me. 

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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: The way people see you.. - 4/27/2006 7:05:07 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce
What bothers me is that people tend to perceive (and talk about) me as someone who is easily angered, and they act like they have to walk on eggshells around me, when the reality is that it takes practically an act of Congress to really piss me off, because I'm one of the most laid back people you'd ever meet.
I used to get this a lot when I first began working at my current job... People who don't know me, have never seen me angry/swearing, act as if they fear me, thread lightly around me, and make comments about what I would do if... I of course, having never physically fought anyone in my life was upset by the assumptions.    At first I would become annoyed, and found myself having to be extra docile to make them comfortable; that of course did not work well for me... Phonyness isn't my strong suit.  

Mostly I don't pay attention to/notice other people's impressions of me unless it is someone in immediate family (brothers/sisters). 
Now, I simply treat everyone and anyone with respect until they disrespect me, than they get my honest/direct opinion.   And anyway these days, I'm perfectly okay with scaring folks, it's just too bad I'm not terribly sadistic (yet).  M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 4/27/2006 7:53:43 AM >

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RE: The way people see you.. - 4/27/2006 7:11:56 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		removed because....WTF thread was I on?
Ron 

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 4/27/2006 7:13:41 AM >

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: The way people see you.. - 4/27/2006 7:56:45 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bignipples2share

I don't care what others think of me, but I would have been devastated had this happened to me. I don't know what I would have done. It makes me glad that she didn't keep a journal and that I'm of the belief that she and I had this blissfully happy Mother and daughter relationship. I'm very glad to hear that you've been able to move beyond it. You're a strong person.


Thank you and to Missy and Tress--I didn't write to steal a thread---but I find when I come here, I can share things I cannot share with "My world", it is at times a cartharsis, a purging, a closure--with people who I can depend on for insight, opinions, ideas and always the flame throwers at the ready---<teasing>--it has at times kept Me from losing things--
 
I find that for Me it is much easier to not give a damn what "those people" think "out there" or many of My friends--but so much harder when one is part of the inner circle of "family"--that is My achilles heel--the delicate balance that does not allow for the disintegration of the who I really am and the melding with another's perceptions, expectations, beliefs, ideals--does one walk away from that? Or does one blend at some points along the way? Someone once said ages ago,"perception is reality and reality is an important concept"---but to what cost?

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Mistress Hathor


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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: The way people see you.. - 5/2/2006 7:32:28 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

The way people see you and the way people expect you are, does it never bother you

No and No. Because I KNOW who I am and what others think is of no matter as much as I know who I am and stand up to such honorably .
quote:

 moon69  charactors the word.  

Perfect moon69! I concur!

(in reply to MissyRane)
Profile   Post #: 40
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