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RE: is lying ever ok? - 10/16/2010 12:52:48 PM   
Zevar


Posts: 801
Status: offline 		Indeed a wise choice was made when you told him the facts you thought might be better withheld. Hopefully this choice will serve to assist you in the furture with telling the facts as they are and allowing the outcome to be what it is. Truth telling can only serve for the good of all involved.

Take good care of you!

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RE: is lying ever ok? - 10/16/2010 2:49:49 PM   
sofldan


Posts: 150
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

Tell him. 

The only lie you should tell a man is, "you have the biggest cock I have ever seen".


Quoted for truth


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RE: is lying ever ok? - 10/16/2010 2:52:24 PM   
sofldan


Posts: 150
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline 		I would say to tell the truth. As a veteran and someone who has been over there, I would want to know. Yes its gonna worry me but at least I know what is going on and not gonna get a surprise call saying the worst has happened and not be prepared for it.

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RE: is lying ever ok? - 10/16/2010 3:27:35 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		No. In my opinion lies and withholding information they would want, is never ok, or allowable, or  excusable. If I was a dm and my sub thought they should lie to me or down play or misconstrue information I wanted,  because they thought it was better to do so, they'd find themselves in some VERY hot water, if I found out.
quote:

ORIGINAL: innerimpishdream

Good evening. I am in a situation where I honestly have no idea what to do. I had to go have a CT scan done of my head because it was suspected that I have had some bleeding in the brain. I have had it before about two months ago. Well, my problem lies in the fact that I told my Lord that I needed to have the test done and that I would tell him the results when I receive them. The problem is... he just found out this weekend that it is a high chance that he is going to be sent overseas. He is in the military... I don't know if I should tell him the honest truth about the results (which I have gotten) or not. I don't want him to worry about me while overseas. He needs to keep his mind on the matters at hand there. But in the same, I promised him I would never lie to him. But if I tell him the truth, that there is bleeding again, I worry he will have his mind on me more than what he needs to have it on. I want him to be able to concentrate and keep himself safe so he can come home to me again, but I don't want him mad either. Any advice from anyone here??
thanks
imp


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RE: is lying ever ok? - 10/16/2010 4:03:33 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hello,

Yes, you made the right choice, and I hope that whatever health challenges you have work out positively - I really wish you and your Lord well.

But I just wanted to say that in general, I don't think it's right to say that it is never right to lie - It really does depend on the lie.

Not disclosing something that's important, and likely to have a bearing on your relationship is definitely wrong, but I do believe that there are "white lies" - they tend to be little and harmless (in terms of the consequences).

- Slightly exaggerating someone's success in order to give them confidence
- Not telling your friend whose come to cry on your shoulder that you've had a shitty day
- Not telling your partner that they look like shit but instead asking about their day..

It's a really good policy to avoid telling fibs, but every now and again, I think that a fib can be a good thing too.







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RE: is lying ever ok? - 10/16/2010 5:44:44 PM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
A relationship occurs between two people. HOW it occurs is that those two people share their lives with each other. If you choose not to share your ACTUAL life with this other person, then you don't ACTUALLY have a relationship.... you have a fiction of a relationship.


Quoted for SO MUCH TRUTH. Lying is the death of relationships.

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RE: is lying ever ok? - 10/16/2010 6:12:50 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		I think you should lie.

Ok, no I dont' but I'm not comfortable with a unanimous agreement. Someone needs to stir the pot!

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RE: is lying ever ok? - 10/16/2010 6:42:00 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Just for the lovely Winnie Dee -

I understood the OP's reluctance to tell something even to someone important.  I don't think lying is the best option, but sometimes withholding information is necessary.  Years ago, I found a lump in my breast.

When I found the lump in my breast, I needed some time to deal with my own feelings, my own fears, my own inner crazies before I could tell anyone.  I told my boss I needed some extra time at lunch one day (for a mammogram), and he was all "we need more work, blah blah blah."  And I just looked at him.  I was the best worker there, and he saw the look on my face.  "Yeah, ok, take as much time as you want."  Thank you, says I.  He knew it had to be serious and that I, unlike my co-workers, wouldn't tell him about it until after the fact.  (One gal had once said - sorry I can't come to work.  My brother is in jail and I need to bail him out.... *blink blink*  Jeesh... grow a little privacy, will ya'?)..... oh, and no, no cancer, no nothing, just thick skin... I don't want to hear about being thick headed either!

Fast forward... No, I don't always think people should always tell someone their stuff right away.  Sometimes, some people need a little space.  Perhaps this is one of those ... "I have something to tell you, but I'm not quite ready yet.  Please give me a little time to manage my own emotions and thoughts" times. 

It can be traumatizing for very private people to be required to spit it all out when they haven't come to some semblance of grips with their difficulties.  Our society has become so open - we watch reality television, we spew our day to day goings on via social networking, we can watch surgeries on television (talk about being open!)  We seem to have mislaid our very healthy privacy.  For some folks, it is more important, more necessary than for others.

And by the way, the breast in my lump?  Happened 20 years ago.  I've rarely mentioned it - even to my friends who have also found lumps. 

best,
sunshine

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 10/16/2010 6:44:08 PM >

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RE: is lying ever ok? - 10/16/2010 6:42:28 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		I'm glad you told him ...now you can face it together, the good and the bad. Best of luck to you.

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RE: is lying ever ok? - 10/16/2010 6:44:20 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

Someone needs to stir the pot!

Did you call?!?!


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RE: is lying ever ok? - 10/16/2010 8:29:49 PM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
I think you should lie.

Ok, no I dont' but I'm not comfortable with a unanimous agreement. Someone needs to stir the pot!


Dag nabbit, I was rooting for total unanimity. There is always a right answer. The world is black and white! Grrrrrrr....

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 31
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