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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 12:02:05 AM   
GreedyTop


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quote:

b) I know from personal experience that a majority of the women I've seduced simply do not connect the dots on their own behavior during the initial stages of attraction


And you are the absolute perfect representative of ALL MEN, world wide?

Why do you think that YOUR  PERSONAL experiences are statistically indicative of every other man on earth?

And. .. yanno.. women have the same experiences.. we just dont generally broadcast it as often.  AGAIN: generally speaking.



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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 12:04:53 AM   
naughtynick81


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Nymphotropism or Gynocentrism may telly up today’s political correct standards upon these subjects

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 12:14:25 AM   
DMFParadox


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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
Way to attempt to marginalize my real life experience and opinion. At least you admitted it.


Please believe that I wish I didn't.

On a professional level, I respect most girls I meet. Skilled, intelligent, passionate, caring.

On a friendship level, I can deal with any girl, as long as they don't try to argue with me on the subject of attraction and dating. Then I generally have to leave the room.

Because on a relationship level, I sincerely believe that most women are are almost biologically obliged to be unaware of their own actions. And conversations like these are part of it.

It's like the old legend of when Columbus came to the new world, and the natives couldn't see his ships. I don't know if it's true or not, but it's illustrative of a real psychological phenomena known as 'hysterical blindness'. The natives looked right at his ships, and did not see them. The couldn't see them, because their minds would not let them think it was possible.

Something similar happens when you lose your keys and find them sitting on the table right in front of you.

Women just don't see what really attracts them. Their minds -- perhaps the way we teach our women, maybe making you feel guilty for this or something similar -- but you just don't recognize what actually attracts you. You'll come up with 50 different traits that are only tangentially relevant to what initially drew you in. You'll simply edit the bits out that attract you but you don't like. For instance, anything that raises the trigger word, 'slut' -- hoo boy, is that a hot button. Your minds will not even let you see anything that hints you might be a slut, oft times, unless it's too blatant to miss, and sometimes even then. Whatever specific interpretation a woman might have of the word.

It's fucking mind blowing, and I really wish it were not the case. But it is.


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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 12:24:25 AM   
WyldHrt


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Your use of the words girls and women above... again, lol. Maybe you should look a little more closely at your own 'hysterical blindness' issues. I'll likely reply in the morning; late here and am headed to bed.

< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 10/26/2010 12:26:55 AM >


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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 12:32:06 AM   
naughtynick81


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quote:

Basically, they have retardedly high standards for attraction, but ignore their own standards anyway.


That there is the root on most problems as I see it in the western world in dating today. Like I said way back, it's like pricing blade steak for the same value as rip eye fillet. I will have nothing to do with a woman who has no realistic price on herself.

Fight about equal pay or whatever, but that means gender equality means you have to obey it even when it's not in your favour

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 12:38:08 AM   
DMFParadox


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

quote:

b) I know from personal experience that a majority of the women I've seduced simply do not connect the dots on their own behavior during the initial stages of attraction


And you are the absolute perfect representative of ALL MEN, world wide?

Why do you think that YOUR  PERSONAL experiences are statistically indicative of every other man on earth?

And. .. yanno.. women have the same experiences.. we just dont generally broadcast it as often.  AGAIN: generally speaking.




First question: No. I draw my slanted view from research and statistics. 'The Selfish Gene'  is a good starting point. So is the OkTrends blog, though it's a recent entry. There are many other books I could list; the one by Edward Bernays was the book I found most likely to cause me to vomit and hate the world, and his biography is almost as bad. But human psychology is nasty sometimes, and sexual attraction is an 'engineering bottleneck' for it.

I wasn't born with these thoughts; and it was a painful process to see them proven true. This has not destroyed my faith in humanity or in women. But it has given me a clear idea and a proven method for what works in attracting women, and it's not money, it's not physical fitness and it's not being nice. All of those things can help, none of them really hurt your chances (well, that's not entirely true, handsome men seem to scare even pretty-high-value women away if they're not careful about making the girl comfortable) but none of those things are what really get women during that critical initial attraction phase.

Second question: I don't. But my personal experiences match the statistics.

Third statement: This is the only thing you've said I really disagree with. Women are very vocal about their displeasure in our country. Maybe you don't see it as much, since you're not on the receiving end. I don't feel particularly oppressed, but then, I don't put up with shit for very long. I'd really rather be single.

It's not that women really are always crap to deal with. It's that it seems like, for them to be allowed to want the guy that's giving off the right signals, they have to turn off some part of their brain that is saying, NO! DON'T DO IT! and that part of their brain is also capable of rearranging the furniture in a violent mental temper tantrum to make them believe that they never wanted the things they want, but instead wanted other things that are nice and safe. BUT when those nice, safe things are the only things, then women don't want the men; but they will go after men that have those things that are not nice and safe. They really want it all. But nice and safe is optional. However, they will never admit that, and the things they really want must never be named.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 10/26/2010 1:08:57 AM >


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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 12:41:05 AM   
naughtynick81


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The average woman who thinks most men are not good enough, let's hear her debate on it

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 12:43:29 AM   
DMFParadox


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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

Your use of the words girls and women above... again, lol. Maybe you should look a little more closely at your own 'hysterical blindness' issues. I'll likely reply in the morning; late here and am headed to bed.


Actually, I edited the usages of girls and women to match the reverse of your claim just for you, darlin'. So that 'girls' was used in sentences denoting positive connotations, such as 'respect' and 'professionalism', and women was used in context that would probably be viewed as negative by you.

The fact that you tried to call me on this fills me with unholy glee.

Edited to add: ...nevermind. Not worth it. Second comment canceled.


< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 10/26/2010 1:01:07 AM >


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bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 1:04:23 AM   
naughtynick81


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quote:

I'm a little bitter about that, but hey! You can't catch me on your petty shit like this, so... eh. Not really enough of a bonus.


Shit, it’s a crime for a man to be bitter….even a little

Ask the political correct poops

< Message edited by naughtynick81 -- 10/26/2010 1:16:17 AM >

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 1:16:23 AM   
DMFParadox


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Thanks for reposting what I edited out, Nick. I value your support in these troubled times.

....

:-/


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"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 1:48:22 AM   
naughtynick81


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quote:

And you are the absolute perfect representative of ALL MEN, world wide?

Why do you think that YOUR  PERSONAL experiences are statistically indicative of every other man on earth?

And. .. yanno.. women have the same experiences.. we just dont generally broadcast it as often.  AGAIN: generally speaking.


What are your stats?

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 2:59:28 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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FR

(Please don't hate me, wimmins of the internetz)

I've thought about it, and functionally I do prettymuch what DMF has said-but for none of the same reasons. Talk to the crowd she's in rather than hone in on her like some demented hawt-seeking missile? Of course-ignoring her friends is rude, and everyone likes people who can make their friends laugh. And if I'm attracted to her she's likely to have good taste in friends-people I *want* to talk to.

Plus, I know what it's like when someone walks over and just starts single-mindedly hitting on you, and it's *not pleasant*. So I don't do it. She meets me halfway or nothing happens.

Flirt with her friends? Of course-but not to make her jealous, just because I flirt with everyone . There's no ulterior motive-I'd be the same whether or not this theoretical 'she' was there. But functionally it's the same as DMF flirting with her friends because he wants her to feel ignored.

Hitting her smack between the eyes with the full-force compliment train? Yeah, I'm guilty of that. (Although I disagree with DMF about women who know they are hot needing some different approach, but perhaps that's because I'm a woman and I know that no beautiful woman deep-down believes what she sees in the mirror-I've had enough of them sobbing on my shoulder...)

That's probably the closest I get to manipulative, but I do it because I'm a little bit addicted to the blush it gets me, rather than because I expect it to get me anything else.

So action-for-action my behaviour around women I'm really attracted to is pretty similar to what DMF has described, but the internal workings are a whole lot different. I don't know if that makes him some kind of unnatural psycho or me just naturally manipulative -but I think he might be right when he says it works.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 5:05:09 AM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
I don't know if that makes him some kind of unnatural psycho or me just naturally manipulative.


You're neither.  You're as soft and as sweet as a blancmange, VC.  I'll hear no-one say otherwise.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 5:08:20 AM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81
The average woman who thinks most men are not good enough, let's hear her debate on it


Those sorts of women are rare, and seldom engage in these sorts of arguments, Nick.  They don't like to be roasted on spits.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 7:10:30 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

You're neither.  You're as soft and as sweet as a blancmange, VC.  I'll hear no-one say otherwise.

Oh honey, that's what I want you to think; I'm just that manipulative...

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 7:56:31 AM   
myotherself


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Will you two PLEASE get a room!


...and send pics....please?


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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 8:33:41 AM   
LadyPact


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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

The average woman who thinks most men are not good enough, let's hear her debate on it

That's something that I can actually address.  In a sense, it can be seen that way.  I'm going to use Myself as an example so nobody else is put on the spot.

At this point in My life, most men don't have everything that it takes to be accepted into My household.  The personal standards that I have aren't easy in the first place.  That was enough of a hurdle to start with.  I'm poly, so whoever comes into My life has to accept the two people that are already in it.  I'm going to move at least one more time in the next five years, possibly twice.  That means on top of everything else, they have to have the kind of career that will accommodate that.  (In this economy to boot.)  We're a military family, which also takes a certain kind of person to accept.  All of that is even before the issue of compatibility with kinks and type of dynamic that I prefer.  That's a lot for anybody to live up to and frankly, a large majority of people can't fit into that little box.

Now, take all of this and compare it up to the way that DMF says his ways work for him.  I'm not going to debate his success rate, because I don't know it.  None of that would work in My case because anybody who is interested in joining this household has to go out of their way to show Me that is what they want,  Somebody who only showed Me a flippant interest would be looked over, and not taken seriously.  I'm actually pretty satisfied with what I currently have so I'm rather ambivalent about the idea of adding to the household anyway.  Yes, it would be nice to add to the household, but between the two males already in My life and the people that I play with, if it doesn't happen, I'm not going to miss it.


ETA - Please do remember that earlier in this thread, I did say that I consider Myself just an average woman or Jane next door who is interested in kink.  My situation doesn't parallel the average single woman.


< Message edited by LadyPact -- 10/26/2010 8:36:27 AM >


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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 9:14:40 AM   
sexyred1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt
Way to attempt to marginalize my real life experience and opinion. At least you admitted it.


Please believe that I wish I didn't.

On a professional level, I respect most girls I meet. Skilled, intelligent, passionate, caring.

On a friendship level, I can deal with any girl, as long as they don't try to argue with me on the subject of attraction and dating. Then I generally have to leave the room.

Because on a relationship level, I sincerely believe that most women are are almost biologically obliged to be unaware of their own actions. And conversations like these are part of it.

It's like the old legend of when Columbus came to the new world, and the natives couldn't see his ships. I don't know if it's true or not, but it's illustrative of a real psychological phenomena known as 'hysterical blindness'. The natives looked right at his ships, and did not see them. The couldn't see them, because their minds would not let them think it was possible.

Something similar happens when you lose your keys and find them sitting on the table right in front of you.

Women just don't see what really attracts them. Their minds -- perhaps the way we teach our women, maybe making you feel guilty for this or something similar -- but you just don't recognize what actually attracts you. You'll come up with 50 different traits that are only tangentially relevant to what initially drew you in. You'll simply edit the bits out that attract you but you don't like. For instance, anything that raises the trigger word, 'slut' -- hoo boy, is that a hot button. Your minds will not even let you see anything that hints you might be a slut, oft times, unless it's too blatant to miss, and sometimes even then. Whatever specific interpretation a woman might have of the word.

It's fucking mind blowing, and I really wish it were not the case. But it is.



No, what is mind blowing is the boatload of crap you are spewing. Don't fool yourself bud, women know exactly what attracts them, EXACTLY. I don't know a single intelligent and self aware woman who does not know what she wants, why she wants it and why she is into a guy.

No amount of armchair pseudo psycho or sociological bullshit reading you attempt to use in the debate will ever change that.

The question is, why does it bother you and anyone else that we know what we want?

I find that when men are making ludicrous generalizations and trying to fit women into neat little boxes it is usually because they cannot deal with them on any intellectual OR basic level. Some men are just afraid of women, cannot be helped.

Oh and your comments on how we freak out about being called sluts? Hilarious and oh so misguided.

Get over your bitterness, it might stand you a better chance of getting what you want. Tell your buddy nicky too, get over the anger, dude, it is getting old.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 10/26/2010 9:15:13 AM >

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 9:56:51 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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DMF's not a bitter guy! I am confident that he will be bonking twentysomethings well into middle age.

I do think that a great deal of what he says is utter claptrap, but there are shreds of truth in there--most especially the parts about leaving the house to meet people, rather than depending on the internets.

DMF says he has never been married, and LTR's are not mentioned. Key point, don't you think? Right now there s a Heineken ad running that illustrates his whole argument in thirty seconds. Catch and release. :)

We old ladies do indeed know the score.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 10:05:17 AM   
AquaticSub


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

DMF's not a bitter guy! I am confident that he will be bonking twentysomethings well into middle age.

I do think that a great deal of what he says is utter claptrap, but there are shreds of truth in there--most especially the parts about leaving the house to meet people, rather than depending on the internets.

DMF says he has never been married, and LTR's are not mentioned. Key point, don't you think? Right now there s a Heineken ad running that illustrates his whole argument in thirty seconds. Catch and release. :)

We old ladies do indeed know the score.


I love that ad. And you know what... it would work on me. Any old guy can bring me a beer. But make my Grandma laugh? Yeah... they get points for that. Makes me feel like they aren't just trying to get laid. Which, of course, increases their chances of getting laid.

And I'm pretty damn comfortable with that.


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