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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 3:34:20 PM   
Lockit


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LOL.. now that is just funny. Your opinion of an extreme anything just makes me laugh.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 3:37:32 PM   
naughtynick81


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The word "extreme" and 21st century feminism fits pretty well.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 3:42:53 PM   
Lockit


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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 3:45:22 PM   
PeonForHer


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I'm dying to know who this 'extreme feminist' is.  Cmail me?

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 3:50:36 PM   
Lockit


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I haven't a clue Peon, really. I don't have many friends there as I am hardly ever there. The only one I can think that he is talking about, which he has a problem with here... isn't an extreme feminist. I don't tend to be friends with extreme feminist or anyone extreme in anything unless it is humor. lol

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 3:51:42 PM   
Twoshoes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I also have a background in philosophy.  Go on to that wavelength, and try to put together a logical argument as to why it's better for life to exist than not.  I dare you!  I mean - you start off not being alive, then you struggle for seventy years to stay alive, all for it to fail in the end, anyway.  So what was the point of the struggle?

I have a background in the appreciation of contrasts.

'Life', to me, is a descriptor for complex systems, which are temporarily sheltered from the entropic tendencies of the universe. The 'struggle' is representative of the vast amounts of energy required to maintain cohesion.

The assumption that the laws of physics remain constant is very much unfounded.

So, perhaps the purpose of life is to find a more permanent solution for circumventing heat death.



I dare you to explain why we have 'pride', if death will ultimately rob us of it, anyway.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 10/26/2010 3:52:39 PM >

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 3:54:09 PM   
naughtynick81


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You are thinking of the wrong person Lockit as I have never ran into her on CM. I have only ever been in one conflict with her on FL. I am banned from most of the groups she is usually active in.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 4:08:38 PM   
ElanSubdued


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quote:

naughtynick81:
I am banned from most of the groups...


I just *can't imagine* why this would be the case.

E.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 4:16:18 PM   
ElanSubdued


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DMFParadox,

Important precursor:  I'd like to remove gender from this discussion because the dating approaches you describe are used by each gender - not by all members of each gender, but certainly by some members of each.  Given that I'm going to discuss my own approach (which involves women), I'll leave gender terms with the understanding that genders may be switched anywhere.

I've caught up with your posts and I caught RedMagic1's "results oriented" methodology too.  One of the lovely things about people is that while in some regards we are all very similar, in others we are all very different.  The women you've described... yes, I've run into women like this.  And, you know what?  These are the personality types I now avoid.  This kind of woman may well be attracted to the aloof/bad boy approach you've espoused.  However, that type of woman isn't usually attracted to me and this is okay (with me) because someone who desires such an approach isn't to my taste either.  I understand the hypothesis "they don't know they're responding to it", but I don't buy this.  At any rate, I'd rather attract a woman who values chemistry that builds from honesty and naked vulnerability, who knows what she wants and is cognizant of what she responds to (well, within reason, in as much as any person can be), and who has desires and skills in harmony with my own.

Flirting prowess has many forms of which, in my experience, the tactics you've described are essential if you're going to impress a certain kind of person.  But, as I already stated, this isn't the kind of woman I'm trying to attract (albeit, this doesn't mean I hold these women with disdain;  I simply acknowledge they are not my dating/relationship match).  During introductions, I now use an approach that, I'll admit, at first, had me concerned because it goes against dating advice that suggests "don't share too much too soon".  I express what is on my mind and I don't sugarcoat this or hide it.  If a woman catches my attention, I tell her so and why, and rarely is the "why" of a surface-only nature.  If questions or concerns come up, I address these in a straightforward way.  Sometimes this approach backfires, but in general I find it an excellent way to discover those I can communicate with.

In certain environments, such as pubs and corporate parties, once enough camaraderie and alcohol have set in, an approach like "hey baby, you've got a banging ass" may succeed.  This is especially true at corporate parties when you don't work for the company, are not associated with an important business transaction, and are attending because of an indirect invitation.  In other words, the direct, bad boy approach breaks protocol and thus succeeds as a sexy-hot ice breaker;  there is low job-related risk;  and those who are inebriated tend to improperly prioritize other factors, such as safety and sexually transmitted diseases.  However, while this kind of mystique (along with additional, well-timed flirting prowess) may bed someone for the night, it's usually not enough to keep them interested the next day, the day after that, and so on... at least this has been my experience and what many women have told me.  Admittedly, I'm not very good at the bad boy approach so perhaps my findings are biased because of this.  Still, given that my goal is to build a long-lasting, meaningful relationship based on trust, honesty, and communication, I'm not concerned with the ineptitude I just admitted to.

All of this said, while it may seem I disapprove of your approach, this isn't the case.  When reading between the lines, I don't think you're advocating unethical behaviour.  Rather, you seem to be suggesting the use of social gambits (read:  using an understanding of human psychology to increase relationship prospects).  I think everyone does this, but at the level you've described it feels too much like literally playing a game.  During chess, I enjoy manipulating my partner so as to capture their queen early in the game.  In relationships though, I aim for a win-win approach where each person succeeds and is treated with honesty and openness throughout.  Getting back to dating approaches, using social gambits as you've described may ultimately result in a win-win for all involved, but the process feels a little too manipulative, bordering on dishonest.  Hey, some people love this stuff and all I can say is more power to 'em, but leave me out, thanks.


Edited to add:  I just found something that caused me to reconsider.  As follows...

quote:

DMFParadox:
But you can't stand on one emotion too long.  Push, then pull; laugh, then get distracted and wander off; wander back, ask something deep, then forget and caveman the girl.  Raise a topic, then drop the thread in the middle and start another.  The idea is to have so many unanswered questions about you that the girl's brain fries thinking about it.  Then get more friendly, but start pulling away if she shit-tests you.  Which she will, more often than not.  But since her brain is fried, she'll generally make some motion or gesture immediately retracting once you show you're not to be trifled with.  At that point, she's just proven she wants you around, and it's game over.  Get the number, get the invite, go wherever you want with it.

Something else to remember is that this doesn't just apply to meeting women.  A girl you've been seeing for a while, is still female... and still likes to have her brain fried.  So if she's worth keeping, then keep your game around and don't get too lazy.  Plus it keeps the mind sharp.


Speaking for the receiving side, this is the type of scenario that when a friend asks for advice, I reply "exit fast".

Elan.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 4:17:05 PM   
sexyred1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1But your take on it would make for a far move intellectual and compelling thread, on the psychology and philosophy of rational thought.


SexyR, I don't know why, but it really makes me laugh that you put a smiley icon on the end of that sentence. 


LOL I am not sure why I put the smiley icon either, unless it was the irony of how we are trying to be rational in a sea of irrational posts on an irrational thread.

At this point, I have no clue but I am glad you laughed!!

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 4:23:35 PM   
sexyred1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued

Elan.


Just wanted to say that you are quite correct in assessing the game playing that is inherent in the topic.

And that is precisely why it angers so many intelligent women that some think that is a means to a good end.

As you said, it might work short term if the woman is up for game playing herself.

But most of us who have been around a while in life, are seeking more real connections that are not based on psychological games and manipulation.

I have often found that those who cannot be authentic for fear of rejection are the types I am not attracted to. Give me a guy who overshares, vs. one who hides behind a facade, anytime.

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 4:30:33 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Well, Nick did get bounced from one of the groups I am in... so I guess I am thw mad bra burner! Not that I would actually do such a thing, Wacoals coast a fortune.

Gosh, what is that Rebecca West quote? How she's a feminist whenever she has an opinion that distinguishes her from a doormat?

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 4:36:41 PM   
Lockit


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Well I burned my bra and I am not and never have been a feminist! I don't care what they cost... I am not buying many of them or wearing them! I'm a hippie! Free flowing, love machine. hehe

I really don't like most feminist to tell ya the truth and really can't stand the national organization of them and their agenda. It never fits with mine! lol


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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 4:39:56 PM   
LadyHibiscus


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Okay I checked Lockits friends list over there and it MUSSST be me! Cool, I love being extreme! And I am an old school ERA feminist so yay!

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 4:42:25 PM   
Lockit


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Does this mean I have to adjust my friends list? hehehe (Ain't gunna happen!)

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 4:44:45 PM   
SorceressJ


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*agrees with Lockit, is also a hippie!*
I burn bras because I have a passionate hatred of all underwires.
Women need healing space and space to be righteous after a thousand generations of being non-consensually trod underfoot, but radical feminism is IMHO no more correct than it's polar opposite. It's all about balance.
Wait, did we just hijack this thread..?

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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 4:47:12 PM   
LadyRian


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Well, I'm not on Fet at all, but as far as extreme feminists go, I am the extremesta feminista out there. C'mere, you  little insignificant speck of man flesh, you, and let me take a chunk out of your tender helpless neck. The infection will set in,  and spread throughout your system. Tomorrow morning you will awake with full breasts and some interesting genitalia GUARANTEED! It's the nature of my spectacular  disease. Grown in the finest lab in Singapore.  Now there's some real culture, vulture.

Hey baby, KOMODO DRAGONS flee, shrieking in terror, when the mere RUMOUR of my  impending presence reaches their recessed little ear holes. They know they ain't got nothin' on me, baby. WOO! Watchout! Big Momma Domma is here, and I'm coming to get you. Yeah, I mean you! Slap you upside your punkin' head with one of them old Betty Friedan books. Hardcover, baby. Get used to lovin' it. I know you do already.




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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 4:48:52 PM   
PeonForHer


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

While it may seem I am irrational in saying something like this, I am basing it on rational and reasonable. Take the content in this thread alone and you will see men putting women into little boxes they based on their interpretation. Neurotic-money-grabbers. Take a lifetime of men acting this way from the slum lord fat guy to the highly educated physician, all while they want their cock tended and it gets a little old.

Of course there are those that are confused about themselves and women. They wish to submit and yet that submission or their view of it creates in them a situation that often stems from bad experiences, concepts and a very unhappy place. The passive aggressive manner in which they conduct themselves isn't a problem for me any longer, but I have seen enough of it on this thread alone to know that they are unhealthy individuals that are finding fault with another to justify their experience. All good when there is a balance, but I see no balance in most men complaining around here.

I do not agree that mankind is irrational. Some are, true enough. I see irrational in the way most are using it. Like those men who claim women make mountains out of mole hills, negate how they feel simply because they don't in the matter or are excusing themselves in some manner.

I call a spade a spade... and I am getting tired of saying that. lol A man coming in to take a dump on women is a man coming in to take a dump. It is what it is.



Okay, points all taken.

But I'm now going to add a little point to this whole discussion that I think will break the Rules of Gentlemanly Behaviour.

This point is that I'm irrational in many ways, and contrary in my desires.  I desire a woman who I can talk to and be at one with, on an equal level - and I also desire a woman who knows how to be a superior, demanding bitch who can call me 'her bitch' without trembling and with just the right haughty look.  She'll have to be able to be both, in great quantities, and despite that mixture being utterly contradictory.

How do I dare make such a demand?  I dare it because I can.  I have enough interest in me to know that I can pick and choose.  So, any woman going for me will have to' raise her game' (I know colonials, especially, love that expression) to its peak in order to cope with all my foibles, my contradictions and my irrationality.

Sorry, but there it is.  It's a supply and demand situation.  It Is What It Is (to use that other expression colonials seem to love). 

A thousand femdoms with their knuckles pushed into their hips, lips compressed, eyes narrowed, and growling, 'Oooh, you've pushed it too far this time, Mr Peon'. 

Heh. 



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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 4:48:55 PM   
naughtynick81


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No Ladyhibiscus. I didn't even know you were a feminist heh. :)



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RE: What do it takes to become a pro domme? - 10/26/2010 4:49:03 PM   
Lockit


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!

Well darn I wasn't fast enough for you people! That was in response to LadyRian!


< Message edited by Lockit -- 10/26/2010 4:50:02 PM >


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