RE: No responses!

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misterbigg -> RE: No responses! (10/20/2010 7:00:40 AM)
Now the second page of this thread has some amazing feedback! Thank you all for your insights. I'm off to the gym but I will respond to every point brought up here when I get a chance.

misterbigg -> RE: No responses! (10/20/2010 1:23:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Showing photos of multiple women ususally indicates either a player, or insecurity. Or, it means that after a couple of months of getting no responses, I added those photos to see if there was any positive effect. quote: ORIGINAL: saltie Do you read the profiles before writting them? Yes I read every sentence thoroughly. Sometimes after reading a profile I see that they are looking for something different, or we are just plain incompatible. I avoid writing in that case. I usually always write about something specific to the person I am writing to. For example, expounding on a shared interest. quote: ORIGINAL: WolfyMontgomery after a woman takes a look at you, if she doesn't find you wholly compatible with her for some reason or another (maybe you have a kink she doesn't like, or she likes dark haired men instead of lighter haired men, or whatever) then she may just not reply I agree. Perhaps I was too specific in my interests. Maybe I wrote too much about myself? It seems the more you write, the greater the chance that a woman will disqualify you since due to the disproportionate number of males, they can afford to be "picky." Of course, in this case they aren't really picky they are just going for the guy who reveals the least about himself, while still saying enough to be interesting. I have removed most of my interests and just left a few important ones. quote: ORIGINAL: MistressRosalyn One other thing, since you are polite and very articulate, you might try hanging around on the message boards here. Well thanks! I think I will do so. quote: ORIGINAL: WolfyMontgomery If your messages have anything to do with sex, or if a large portion has to do with sex, try tossing all of that out. I never write about intimate details unless it is requested, especially not in an introductory message. quote: ORIGINAL: jbcurious Why not try just being yourself? LOL...I am being myself! I am just often misunderstood. quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ I think the profile text is good. You express who you are, what you are looking for and what you have to offer. Some women might have issues with the name. Thank you. It's not the first time someone has mentioned my name. Can that be changed? I'm a Sex and the City fan but it seems to be causing me more trouble that it is solving. How about "GentleGiant?" quote: ORIGINAL: lizi You describe what you would like your partner to be like but what about the structure of your relationship with her....casual, long term, committed, etc. Someone to see sometimes or someone to share your life?...You do talk about your varied interests in your profile text, this is good. Over in the interest list however every single thing there is related to sex and/or kink. You might want to add some other things so it doesn't look like you've got a one track mind. Good points. Often I see someone's profile and they went through every interest and gave it a grade but I think that the signal to noise ratio for that approach is low. So instead I just focused on aspects of D/s play. However you are right, so I removed most of the kinks and added in some regular interests. Also you are right about the structure of the relationship. After so many revisions I think it got lost in the shuffle. I will add it back. quote: ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB You don't sound like someone who would allow a submissive to have a career or friends or preferences of any kind, and that can scare off a lot of people. That must be my fault then. I guess I need to elaborate on that. I was trying to keep the description relatively small. I'm not interested in running every aspect of someone's life. Outside of the kinky aspects I just want a normal relationship. In fact I prefer she have friends and what not this way I don't have to be relied on to constantly entertain (I do work). quote: ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance You also list the local community and munches as a hard limit (as well as poly and swinging now?) I would never get involved with someone who wouldnt go to events with me, its a HUGE red flag, usually those that dont go or wont even consider going to an event theres a reason, that reason is they have something to hide. Or it means I just don't enjoy those things! I'd be willing to try it once though since that's only fair (maybe I would like it?). But I'm not even into going to loud clubs and bars, never was. I love going to bed early, I'm a morning person. Also I'm not into exhibitionism or public displays of kink. So I guess maybe I am trying to hide that? quote: ORIGINAL: inkSecret Your profile doesn't talk about you. Your pictures don't show who you are. ... Great stuff there inkSecret. The single best response. I will study it carefully.

WolfyMontgomery -> RE: No responses! (10/20/2010 1:51:56 PM)
Misterbigg, Also remember that women just don't have enough time to reply to everyone. And often times don't take the time to reply if they aren't interested because not only does it take time, but they don't want to get nasty emails in response from people that they say "Sorry, not interested" to. It might be a bad idea to hide your interests, because most women look at a blank profile as someone who's lazy. I mean, she'd find out about that interest eventually, why hide it just so you can get some words out of her? She'll probably just end up saying, "Sorry, you're just not for me" later if that interest that you hid happens to be a hard limit and she finds out about it. And then you'll both have wasted time investing it in an incompatible person when you might have found someone who WAS compatible with you if you hadn't been spending that time on her. They don't go after guys who have the least amount of interests either - they go for the guy who matches them the most. Also, "Hard Limit" means you would NEVER do them. If you just don't like them but are not against community events (or anything else for that matter), I'd say put it under "Dislikes" or "Tolerates". Make sure that things you list as hard limits are REALLY hard limits - if you're willing to try it it's not a hard limit. Also, munches are just community gatherings, usually in a lunch/dinner type setting, at a local restaurant, where people talk. There is no exhibitionism or public displays there, it's just where people go to talk to like minded people - in case you didn't know since your reasoning on disliking these things have nothing to do with munches. It's GOOD to elaborate on what you want and enjoy. And as other people have said, it's also good to elaborate on what you want HER to want, have, and enjoy.

switch2please -> RE: No responses! (10/20/2010 1:59:40 PM)
'Misterbigg' is a Sex and the City reference? I thought it was a penis joke... whizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Hear that? Another pop culture reference just went right over my head [:)]

WolfyMontgomery -> RE: No responses! (10/20/2010 2:01:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: switch2please 'Misterbigg' is a Sex and the City reference? I thought it was a penis joke... whizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Hear that? Another pop culture reference just went right over my head [:)] Bahahaha! Me toooo! Then again I'm still stuck on 90's cartoons and 80's movies... so it's no wonder it went right over my head. Though I figured it was some sort of reference. I just figured it was from somewhere else. lol

WyldHrt -> RE: No responses! (10/20/2010 6:28:02 PM)
quote: Hear that? Another pop culture reference just went right over my head [:)] I'm in the same boat as you and Wolfy, LOL. OP- Looks like you have gotten some good advice on your profile already, so I will add a bit about sending cmails instead. The ones that get my attention are usually short and include something specific from my profile. If a mail makes me laugh, it gets extra points; if it makes me laugh and asks a question, so much the better. My former Dom's first mail to me was 2 or 3 lines, with both a funny comment and a question about one of my interests. Also, many women here on the forums are more likely to respond to a cmail if it is from a fellow forum member, so hanging out and posting is a good idea. Many of us have real life friendships and other relationships that started when we 'met' and got to know each other here. Good luck!

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: No responses! (10/20/2010 8:02:08 PM)
Love the dolphin pic. You are very attractive and that combined with your profile and pictures seems to imply an expectation of perfection - perfection is intimidating. Maybe some humorous references to a few of your rough edges or endearing faults` might soften the profile and give it more 'personality?' (I didn't read your entire profile - and may have missed it if you have already done this! In which case - move along, nothing to see here.) Not sure what the name of the site is (SLS - swingerlifestyle or something like that), but I think you might have some success on a swinger site, since that is of interest to you. Good luck and best wishes in your search. WinD

Elisabella -> RE: No responses! (10/20/2010 8:02:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: misterbigg I spent countless hours refining my profile, and I took some recent photos. But even when I send messages (which are always polite and not copied and pasted) I rarely if ever get a response. I never send messages to fakes, they are really easy to spot. What's wrong?? Hey :) You're very attractive, well spoken, and your pictures show that you're the sort of person who goes out and lives life instead of sitting at a computer all day. Awesome start. That being said, I personally would not reply to your profile, because you and I are looking for different things. This part of your profile sticks out to me: quote: Your sole purpose is to be submissive always, please me, and make my life as easy and enjoyable as possible, because you recognize that my guidance, intelligence, and knowledge help you to be your best. You need me to train you to do exactly what I want, how, and when. Even if you don't like it you'll make yourself do it without hesitation, love it, and eventually beg for it, not just for a little while but forever, because fulfilling my needs is what is most important to you. You will learn what it is to be a real slave. Obedience will become second nature; you will learn to comply instantly and without question or suffer the punishment. Yet that too you will enjoy as I strip away your facades and find the slut within. I will make your mind as naked as your body and use what I find for my pleasure. That's not the type of relationship I'd be looking for (if I were single) and to be honest that sort of extreme, TPE-type, all about the master's needs relationship is in the minority here, so the only advice I'd give you is to be certain that the woman you're approaching is also looking for that sort of relationship. Good luck finding someone!

MzSensual -> RE: No responses! (10/20/2010 8:05:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: misterbigg Thanks for the feedback. I only recently added the photos with other people in them. I got the idea in my head that maybe, I was coming across as too self-centered since every photo was just of me. No change in the results. It looks like you got rid of the women in pictures..... what about abolishing the other men??????

Elisabella -> RE: No responses! (10/20/2010 8:12:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MzSensual It looks like you got rid of the women in pictures..... what about abolishing the other men?????? I'd say leave the other guys, it shows he's not a social reject lol.

anniezz338 -> RE: No responses! (10/20/2010 8:27:21 PM)
Keeping it simple usually works for me. And meeting the right person will happen in it's own time. I like profiles that keep it simple with just enough for me to get a feel for that person. Good luck to you

MistressRosalyn -> RE: No responses! (10/20/2010 8:40:42 PM)
Well, as for changing your name, all you can do is make a new profile, and shit can the other one. I got the reference, (yeah, me, the one without network TV), but my first thought was that it was in reference to to your anatomy, so personally, I'd change it...I think Gentle Giant is fine, perhaps the others have an opinion? I'd keep the pics with your friends, like Elisabella says, it shows you aren't a social reject. As I mentioned to a couple who wanted their profile critiqued, market to your target group. What words would make a woman feel wanted, and what descriptions would make a woman feel as though she could successfully win your heart and fulfill your every desire? When you picture your daily interactions, what do you see? As you said, you work and you have a life. You don't want someone you have to put on a shelf until you get home, don't you want her to be interesting and intelligent? Being a morning person, you would want someone who also shines in the morning, someone who would start your day out happily, and then a pleasant someone to come home to, right? Anyway, just from what I've seen so far, you seem like a nice fellow who would be quite happy with a lovely homebody sort of gal. Whether I'm right or wrong, make sure your profile is appealing to the right sort of person. Best of luck, and I look forward to seeing you around the boards.

Aresidora -> RE: No responses! (10/20/2010 9:28:24 PM)
Honestly, I think your profile reads like a text book. Admittedly I read only the first paragraph, got bored and stopped. Even though I read these posts before your profile,and I read it with the intent of paying attention, I found it soo drawn out ugh... TOO MUCH RAMBELING. You are a Dom? You should work it - not tell me your life story. I bet if you were to say "I like to spank my slaves with a hairbrush while they have 5 lb. weights attached to their nipple clamps" ONLY you'd have plenty of responses. I would apologize for the bluntness, but that's what you get when you ask for opinions.

HunkOfDom -> RE: No responses! (10/21/2010 8:17:50 AM)
How about "HunkOfDom" as a screen name?

Hillwilliam -> RE: No responses! (10/21/2010 8:31:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HunkOfDom How about "HunkOfDom" as a screen name? It sounds like something Pro Dommes have for lunch.

angelikaJ -> RE: No responses! (10/21/2010 8:32:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HunkOfDom How about "HunkOfDom" as a screen name? That one is a bit egotistical (even if it might be true).

LadyNTrainer -> RE: No responses! (10/21/2010 8:53:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam quote: ORIGINAL: HunkOfDom How about "HunkOfDom" as a screen name? It sounds like something Pro Dommes have for lunch. I lol'd.

switch2please -> RE: No responses! (10/21/2010 9:33:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elisabella quote: ORIGINAL: MzSensual It looks like you got rid of the women in pictures..... what about abolishing the other men?????? I'd say leave the other guys, it shows he's not a social reject lol. I'd say only do this if your male friends in the photo are aware and comfortable with their image on a kink site. It was stated before that using pictures of other people without consent violates TOS. To keep the social implications and be a bit more discreet on their behalf, you could black-bar part or all of the faces...except for your lovely mug, of course.

favesclava -> RE: No responses! (10/22/2010 5:17:55 PM)
there's a lot of good advice here for you and i see you are using the suggestions very well. i guess my advice is to hang in there . the right one is worth waiting for and searching for. best of luck .

MstrShmrck -> RE: No responses! (10/23/2010 12:26:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: misterbigg I spent countless hours refining my profile, and I took some recent photos. But even when I send messages (which are always polite and not copied and pasted) I rarely if ever get a response. I never send messages to fakes, they are really easy to spot. What's wrong?? I'm going to suggest being charming, cunning, REAL, honest, and direct. Sometimes subs and slaves are looking for you to show Dominance right away. You can can be polite AND Dominant in one. Some subs and slaves need to be address less polite than others, like this MtF I'm thinking about considering on here needs me to be less polite and more Domineering and comanding or else she'll lose interest!

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