darkpetal
Posts: 24
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i also have been approached, i would like to share a letter the girl sent me? she explained herself well i thought. i may not agree with her philosophy, but i have greater respect for the concept now. peta Gifting ~~ an Erotic Power Exchange We journey to our destiny as submissive or dominant in many different ways for each personality is very different. Those of us in our mid years have wondered sometimes quite aimlessly trying to fulfill ourselves and we stumble onto a community of people who already know what we so desperately need and want. But just as there are different individuals, there are as many desires, sometimes many dark and yet unknown but the burning is there, so to is each relationship individualistic. (name removed) gave me, as His first gift, the right to own my hidden dark desires which were deeply tucked away for I was always taught they were “immoral.” Well they aren’t! To be a raunchy flirt, to be an exhibitionist, to crave to kneel and be a man’s cumslut, to have more than one man find pleasure in my sexual service at one time, to share my man with another woman as I watched…these are my sexual slave gifts. I am a submissive personality and I always found my self esteem in serving and giving to others and in return I was abused (physically, emotionally, sexually, psychosocially), became emotionally vulnerable and weak, developed a rude indifference to protect myself, questioned everything for I did not want to be abused again and grew to be quite the passive aggressive bitch. I had no Dominant to show me any other way, altho my heart has so deeply desired a man “over me” as Anais Nin so well says….. I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling all that I am capable of doing but I am going to be pursued, fucked, and possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding." ~Anais Nin~ When I knew I could honor and obey and bring incredible sexual pleasure to (name removed) by giving him a submissive, as a gift, who would want to experience what Gifts He was giving me sexually … I thought of it as an erotic power exchange. I give because He gave and thus another submissive is gifted twice, once with being honored to be chosen, and twice to experience the submission to a nonsadistic gentle man. I would never give a gift to another if I knew there would be harm. That is “Daniel in the Lions Den” not kindness, generosity, compassion, sensitivity and gifting, that is abuse. How many times have you heard men say they have always had fantasies/desires of being with 2 women? What about a woman saying the same thing about 2 men? Do you know how intoxicating it is for me to know that someone will knock on His door or He will knock on someones’s door and know it was I who brought the scene together for the one I honor and obey? And then to have Him call me and say “Thank you My (name removed)?” I cannot provide nonsexual service for (name removed). My desires, altho selfish they be, would be to have a beautiful submissive woman invite Him to a home cooked Italian dinner, or bake Him cookies or show up at His office and take Him to lunch or even clean His apartment. Oh damn! I would be so fulfilled if such a submissive might ask if I were allowed to do such things. I am a submissive with sexual slave tendencies. I never knew this until about age (removed) and I learned that I was not weird and that within each relationship within lifestyle, each had desires and a journey to take and focus on. That is what I mean by gifting . ~~~~~~~~
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