subs as pimps

subs as pimps (Full Version)

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lovingmaster45 -> subs as pimps (9/29/2004 2:40:58 AM)
I have seen quite a few profiles here and on other sites which are solicitations from submissive females to other sub females to come join them and their Master for play. Exactly what is their role here? Are they acting as pimps? I would have thought that any competent Master would not have to have his sub out trolling for him; but rather that he would be choosing from a large number of interested sub females to join his "family". What am I missing here? Help anyone? Insight? Master Jerry

Synocense -> RE: subs as pimps (9/29/2004 3:03:08 AM)
I have a friend who is currently looking for someone to join in play with she and her Master. She feels privileged to be able to do this. She actually asked him to allow her to do this. It gives her the opportunity to "screen" the potential play partner, have control in this area, if you will...an area where many submissives are nervous and unsure and fed by fear of the unknown. I know her Master too and he is an awesome man. He in no way demanded or commanded this of her. Just one angle. : ) Syn

theroebabe -> RE: subs as pimps (9/29/2004 3:32:31 AM)
It seems that most doms think the sub will have better luck finding another sub to play with that if the dom did the searching. I too was asked to look for a third person in the past to add to our relationship to play. It is very difficult finding a third play partner to add to a relationship and the sub and the new person must get along since most doms want the 2 subs to play nicely together. Also women need to have an intimate mental bond (in most cases) with the other woman to facilitate intimate sexual play. my opinion of course [:)]

siamsa24 -> RE: subs as pimps (9/29/2004 5:52:43 AM)
I think that Synocense summed it up very well. I am seeking another girl, but she is to be a companion for me. Why would I allow another person to choose my companion? I begged my Dom to allow me to search for another for almost a year and he only just gave me permission a few weeks ago. She would not be for him, but rather a friend and sister for me. If she chooses to serve him it will be her own choice, not his or mine.

Deleted User -> [Deleted] (9/29/2004 6:34:28 AM)
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sub4hire -> RE: subs as pimps (9/29/2004 8:20:23 AM)
After reading all of the opinions here. You have enlightened me. Having been approached myself...too many times to count. I've always been pretty disgusted that some sleeze ball would order his sub to go out and find someone else. When clearly she was not giving him whatever it was he needed. I have to say, I never even contemplated the thought the submissive may actually want the companionship. Perhaps the Dominant was'nt stepping up to the plate enough. I guess in this respect I've been blessed. I've never been without many people to talk to. I rarely share myself...however by most I am considered a good friend. Anyway, you all have taught me something today. Thank you.

Laura -> RE: subs as pimps (9/30/2004 8:09:19 AM)
On the other hand, I had a male sub offer to find me clients. He wrote about how much money we could make. It gave me some conflicted feelings for awhile.

proudsub -> RE: subs as pimps (9/30/2004 8:35:20 AM)
When i was in an online D/s relationship my Dom gave me an online slave as a gift. She was the slave, i was the sub and i was to domme her while he Dommed both of us. Well it didn't take long for me to beg to have her as a sister sub as i hated the domme role. After that we had a lot of fun, and it aroused bi curious feelings in me which i still have never acted on in r/l.

NoCalOwner -> RE: subs as pimps (9/30/2004 10:48:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lovingmaster45 I have seen quite a few profiles here and on other sites which are solicitations from submissive females to other sub females to come join them and their Master for play. Exactly what is their role here? Are they acting as pimps? I would have thought that any competent Master would not have to have his sub out trolling for him; but rather that he would be choosing from a large number of interested sub females to join his "family". This is by NO means unique to the BDSM community. Go look at personals posted by swingers, poly couples, etc. The number of couples with a straight male and a bi female who are looking for another bi female is huge. In the poly community such personals (particularly the more sexual ones) are often made fun of, as when people use the tongue-in-cheek acronym "HBB" (Hot Bi Babe). And it usually is claimed that the woman is the one posting the ad. I personally won't condemn anything about the above scenario. We've had a woman sharing our bedroom before, and had everyone been more compatible, would probably be doing so now. Outside of a M/f D/s context, why not have the woman be the one to post? She'd probably seem less threatening to timid candidates. Within a M/f D/s context, I dunno why it seems so common. I'm sure that once in a while it is really the sub who is looking, but I doubt that's anything close to a universal explanation. I know that my slave strongly likes that I am the one who picks play partners, I guess we both see that as a significant part of my role. And I would not make the mistake of trying a live-in situation with anyone who she was not quite happy with. So maybe some Doms figure that their subs have better chances of success, or are just don't want to be bothered with recruiting efforts. I suppose it's also possible that the woman is the more photogenic of the two in many such cases. What surprises me is only that people keep trying. I guess it appeals to those who like playing the lottery. If you can make it past the 500:1 seeking couple to HBB ratio, what are the odds that said HBB will fit frictionlessly into your household? It's hard enough finding anyone online who would be a great match for one person, let alone for two people. I do know of MFF poly triads that aren't too dysfunctional, but the third often seems to be in an emphatically secondary role -- kinda like "live-in babysitter/maid/friend with benefits" -- which isn't likely to have long term appeal for most women. Having tried a Mff triad myself, with someone we'd known online for years, all I can say is: good luck, you're gonna need it! No offense to those who are exceptions to my sweeping generalities and half-truths!

Deleted User -> [Deleted] (9/30/2004 11:41:10 AM)
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NoCalOwner -> RE: subs as pimps (9/30/2004 1:09:36 PM)
There's one other factor which I think is very large: insecurity. In my household, the third who came and went would never have been anything more than secondary to either of us. In other words, Crewman #6. While there are people out there who are happy without a primary, I think it would make some people feel unfulfilled, and make a lot of people nervous, to be in that position. To make it worse, there is the legal side. I can marry someone and have them covered by my health insurance, and they'll inherit when I croak. Our kids will be "legitimate," whatever that's supposed to be good for. We get to file jointly on taxes, share a bank account, have joint property, and ditching the relationship would have consequences severe enough to really make one think twice. If you look at a lot of the profiles of single female subs here, not too many have polyamory as one of their interests, and a lot of them specify that they want one-on-one relationships. I'm sure that a lot of this is the stuff you're talking about, the 12th century modification of relationships. But I think that insecurity, both emotional and financial, also plays a large role. Our marriage laws, and the expectations built around them, suck.

bottominwa -> RE: subs as pimps (9/30/2004 1:20:23 PM)
so this girl is one with one of these ads here at collar me. Personally she did it because her Owner is gone quite a great deal of the time, they just pcs'd to this area before He deployed so she knows next to no one, and because they enjoy the company of others intimately...and as previously stated in atleast Our house, by and large how well such a thing goes largely has to do with how comfortable this girl is with the third party. hope this gives some insight....this girl atleast always has ot be the presenter of playthings, it is long standing rule sh ehas known other houses to employ also, it keeps the jealousy in check. sabrina King House of King

darkpetal -> RE: subs as pimps (10/2/2004 6:30:27 PM)
i also have been approached, i would like to share a letter the girl sent me? she explained herself well i thought. i may not agree with her philosophy, but i have greater respect for the concept now. peta Gifting ~~ an Erotic Power Exchange We journey to our destiny as submissive or dominant in many different ways for each personality is very different. Those of us in our mid years have wondered sometimes quite aimlessly trying to fulfill ourselves and we stumble onto a community of people who already know what we so desperately need and want. But just as there are different individuals, there are as many desires, sometimes many dark and yet unknown but the burning is there, so to is each relationship individualistic. (name removed) gave me, as His first gift, the right to own my hidden dark desires which were deeply tucked away for I was always taught they were “immoral.” Well they aren’t! To be a raunchy flirt, to be an exhibitionist, to crave to kneel and be a man’s cumslut, to have more than one man find pleasure in my sexual service at one time, to share my man with another woman as I watched…these are my sexual slave gifts. I am a submissive personality and I always found my self esteem in serving and giving to others and in return I was abused (physically, emotionally, sexually, psychosocially), became emotionally vulnerable and weak, developed a rude indifference to protect myself, questioned everything for I did not want to be abused again and grew to be quite the passive aggressive bitch. I had no Dominant to show me any other way, altho my heart has so deeply desired a man “over me” as Anais Nin so well says….. I do not want to be the leader. I refuse to be the leader. I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness. I want a man lying over me, always over me. His will, his pleasure, his desire, his life, his work, his sexuality the touchstone, the command, my pivot. I don't mind working, holding my ground intellectually, artistically; but as a woman, oh, God, as a woman I want to be dominated. I don't mind being told to stand on my own feet, not to cling all that I am capable of doing but I am going to be pursued, fucked, and possessed by the will of a male at his time, his bidding." ~Anais Nin~ When I knew I could honor and obey and bring incredible sexual pleasure to (name removed) by giving him a submissive, as a gift, who would want to experience what Gifts He was giving me sexually … I thought of it as an erotic power exchange. I give because He gave and thus another submissive is gifted twice, once with being honored to be chosen, and twice to experience the submission to a nonsadistic gentle man. I would never give a gift to another if I knew there would be harm. That is “Daniel in the Lions Den” not kindness, generosity, compassion, sensitivity and gifting, that is abuse. How many times have you heard men say they have always had fantasies/desires of being with 2 women? What about a woman saying the same thing about 2 men? Do you know how intoxicating it is for me to know that someone will knock on His door or He will knock on someones’s door and know it was I who brought the scene together for the one I honor and obey? And then to have Him call me and say “Thank you My (name removed)?” I cannot provide nonsexual service for (name removed). My desires, altho selfish they be, would be to have a beautiful submissive woman invite Him to a home cooked Italian dinner, or bake Him cookies or show up at His office and take Him to lunch or even clean His apartment. Oh damn! I would be so fulfilled if such a submissive might ask if I were allowed to do such things. I am a submissive with sexual slave tendencies. I never knew this until about age (removed) and I learned that I was not weird and that within each relationship within lifestyle, each had desires and a journey to take and focus on. That is what I mean by gifting . ~~~~~~~~

Suleiman -> RE: subs as pimps (10/2/2004 7:02:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NoCalOwner To make it worse, there is the legal side. I can marry someone and have them covered by my health insurance, and they'll inherit when I croak. Our kids will be "legitimate," whatever that's supposed to be good for. We get to file jointly on taxes, share a bank account, have joint property, and ditching the relationship would have consequences severe enough to really make one think twice. Our marriage laws, and the expectations built around them, suck. Tangental to the actual thread, there is a small legal trivium which may or may not still work; For many decades, the "standard" dodge around gay marriage was to adopt the person. By legally adopting another person (which I believe is still possible between consenting adults, much like passing on power of attorney) that adoptee is legally considered "next of kin" with all the normal familial rights guaranteed to one's offspring, including visitation rights in hospital or prison and a legal claim to inheritance, insurance, and all those other items which are often restricted by government or corporate policy.

lainakajira -> RE: subs as pimps (10/6/2004 12:58:30 AM)
i think some subs actually feel more confortable answering another sub. less nervous and more trusting

Estring -> RE: subs as pimps (10/6/2004 1:01:39 AM)
Forget subs as pimps, what about subs as sandwiches?

Thanatosian -> RE: subs as pimps (10/6/2004 1:48:22 AM)
There's nothing I like better than eating my sub[;)] (well *somebody* had to say it)

RealSub58 -> RE: subs as pimps (4/30/2009 8:33:06 PM)
I have read a few profiles lately where only the female is seeking a third to join a relationship not yet 6 months along. Sometimes both seek another sub/slave. But the relationship is young and ...well can a relationship be fully established if less than a year? Just curious.

OsideGirl -> RE: subs as pimps (4/30/2009 8:43:41 PM)
My personal view: I'm more worried about the person that is going to hold my life in his hands. The submissive is not that person, it's the Dominant. He's the guy I have to trust while I'm helpless. I've too many submissives wear rose colored glasses when it concerns their opinion on their Master. I've seen beyond fucked up relationships and Dominants who aren't really Dominants. The corker is I was once approached by a submissive looking for a third. She went on and on about how wonderful he was, etc, etc, etc. He beat the crap out of her (in the hospital for 2 weeks) and he's currently in prison for rape..for life. He raped 6 women in 8 months....and he'd been convicted twice before. (Third strike law in CA) I would have no interest in talking to the submissive before talking to the Dominant.

greenearth21 -> RE: subs as pimps (4/30/2009 8:50:37 PM)
chuckles at the idea of subs being pimps No matter the case, I find those "pimptastic strategies" annoying.

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