LadyHugs
Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
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Dear Reasonable, Ladies and Gentlemen;
Non-sexual domination. That is what I prefer in my lifestyle. So, with so many slave/submissive types touting they are great sex partners, it really is a huge turn off to me, as that is apparently where these slaves/submissive type’s minds are. What do I get out of it sexually?
I am more than a sex object. Running and maintaining a house is not sex but, something that needs to be done. However, what seems to be lacking (in my humble opinion) is the understanding, that M/s dynamic foundation is based on service without expectations of sex. What D/s dynamic foundation is more BDSM than service without expectations of sex. Although sex will occur, it is not the “all” of what an M/s and or D/s are about. There is a dance between the M/s and or D/s to which energy of being served and serving in each individual’s relationship, feeds that relationship. All relationships are unique and cannot expect being molded to anybody but those people involved.
For an example of my early times in the lifestyle, some thirty plus years ago, in cleaning a flogger to some in D/s is just a task to be done. In an M/s situation, in cleaning a flogger, we are cleaning an extensions of the Master’s body. Again, I am from an antiquated system however, every piece is an extension of the Master and a ‘service’ to the Master. To some slaves this is very sensual and spiritual merges. It would be no different than drawing and giving a Master his “bath,” within a ritual manner. Every ritual and or protocol steps have meaning, or a history in association to it.
It is surprising to me at times, that so many Masters, Mistresses and slaves have more spiritual satisfaction in serving than sexual satisfaction. It is a calling to a higher level per se. However, the chemistry between a dominant and submissive power needs to be spot on; as one in a D/s dynamic lives in the dynamic of submission and domination will have periods of high and low tides/waves of this energy, as well as the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual realms. I do feel, (in my humble opinion) that there is a form of straddle between M/s and D/s at times, in these current years of the M/s and D/s lifestyle markers.
Unless one has been a part of the 1970s lifestyles, living through the 1980s and through the 1990s into the present days, would many understand the difficulty it is to put into the proper words of what words can’t describe. It is more of a feeling without description that makes it an “magical” sense of purpose and being as a service slave and or personal slave. Perhaps using M/s dynamic as in taking care of an elderly parent, relative, dear friend--You serve from the heart, genuine concern and compassion, you bathe them and take care of them, without expectation of sex, yet you “serve.” You submit to them as a daughter/son; friend, nurse/doctor and or care giver. The gratification is that you have done something that makes someone’s life better, uplift the quality of life, you make it personal and put your soul and spirit into the service, out of love and not out of expectation of gratification in a physical or financial realm. A thank you; a form of praise, acknowledgment, a hug and or other form of appreciation is all you crave. Sex never enters the expectation. The question is; if your dominant is physically unable to perform sexually--will you be willing to serve them? Or, would you abandon that relationship as to get sexual gratification and a “whole” functional dominant? This also is a question Masters/Mistresses should ask about slaves and or submissive types that may become physically unable to perform sexually.
Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs
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Non-sexual domination. - 
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A player simply refuses to provide that.
RE: Non-sexual domination. - 
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