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RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 10:44:20 AM

ServiceNTucson

Posts: 127
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FLsubmalecd

ServiceNTuson, I wanted to test that. So I clicked on your profile to write to you and see if your mail worked.
And got a message that your profile could not be found. Maybe that has something to do with it.
I have received some e-mails and responded to them and got replies to my responses to some Dommes. So I think it is working for me.

Yes, that's the other problem. Yet if you put my name in "Username" box on the homepage, or if you simply search submissive males in Arizona, you will find that I do, indeed, have a profile.

I'm not really suggesting that you, FLsubmalecd, do this, as there's no reason. A Domina who is a regular poster on these boards has already done so and told me the result. Still, I wonder, from the number of times I click on a name on the boards and get "No Profile Found" just how many other people have the same problem I do. Collarme obviously has some bugs.

But, yes, if you get a response to some of your emails, then I'd say you don't have the problem I have.

_____________________________

Harry

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

Groucho Marx

www.desertdominion.org

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 21

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 10:45:04 AM

Oumae

Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

I reply to most mails I get here, I don't have mail controls set as I'm quite happy to make friends too, while I may be interested in relationships with subs I enjoy having friends of all persuasions and would have missed out on some good mails. That is my preference tho'. Some as has been said feel they are replying by not replying and at least you know straight off that they are not suited to what you want/like.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 22

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 10:45:21 AM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

Sounds to me like Miss Manners needs to take some time off and take a refresher course in manners!!!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
I always read "Miss Manners" in our daily newspaper and I believe the last time Miss Manners deal with phone calls and letters and emails from people she said quite clearly that replying is not necessary, in fact replying can be seen as stating an interest.

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 23

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 10:55:00 AM

DivaZya

Posts: 103
Joined: 2/15/2005
Status: offline

Greetings,
I've gotten enough of the 3 basic types of e-mail here to no longer feel guilty about not responding to ANY right away.
I Always go through incoming messages and check bulk a couple of times a week just in case another Domina or a glowing undiscovered submissive got hung up there.
Unfortunately, the best I can do for most of the senders is to welcome them to the journey and strongly suggest they complete their profiles, to better show their personalities, dreams and how they wish to serve.
The 3 types of messages are:
"hi Mistress"
"i liked your profile, please consider me" (or some such words)
and
" i want you to do .. bla bla bla to me, because I am a "pile of useless shit that doesn't have any meaning in this world without a Mistress to lick" (someitmes with the annoying penis on the scanner pic - a hairy pink log! BLAH!)
The first two types will be answered, especially if they have a smiling eyes and face pic - but the last..? I'm inclined to start a new topic for education and amusement - and share that stuff as a warning, what do you think?

It's really a message by message decision for Me, but I might have to change that if the attitude and manners of those that contact Me dont' improve.
Always the best Diva~Zya

(in reply to Proprietrix)

Post #: 24

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 10:55:07 AM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

Yes, I would. Definitely! As long your email was written, as you say, in a friendly respectful manner. In fact, that does happen now and then. I'll write a respond to anyone who is friendly. However, as I said in my first post, that rarely happens. If I were deluged by nice, friendly emails every day I might have to change my criteria, or at least come up with a nice "thank you but no thank you" form letter, but that's not an issue currently, and I don't think we'll ever have to worry about that. Most are 1-liners and obvious HNG's.

And I've often been known to drop the occasional email myself to someone whose profile caught my eye for whatever reason, whether M/F, sub, slave, Dom or Domme. People hear so much criticism, day in and day out... it takes only a little slice of time to give a compliment.

quote:

ORIGINAL: FLsubmalecd
So if I wrote and noted that I know what you said about CDs', and did so in a friendly respectful manner, woudl you then at least write back to say tahks but no thanks in a friendly way? Just curious.

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 25

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 10:57:17 AM

ladiespet77

Posts: 30
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline

Really ,You are being way to overly dramatic and sensative.Theses women do get Allot of mail. No reply means not interested,simple. You have to be persistent and develop a thicker skin.There Will be Rejection.This has No bearing on You as a person or a sub/slave.Also asking them to respond to every letter is unrealistic.These women are Dommes(not vanilla women on matchmaker site) ,on a Free site getting tons of mail from all sorts of people.
Finding a Good match is not an easy task. This site actually has had a pretty good responce rate for me.Compared to others.....I would say that sending out few emails over the course of a week is Not going to find You a Mistress.Or even get You a reply saying No thanks. If i send out 4 or 5 letters and get 1 reply. That is not bad. Also keep in mind a reply is a long way from a meeting and a meeting is a long way from a good D/s relashionship with Good chemisty....

Be confident in who You are and what You seek.Get a stratagy and stick with it. Most of all do not compimise what You seek in a Mistress... You will find her ...

(in reply to ServiceNTucson)

Post #: 26

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 11:01:55 AM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

I am one of the ones ServiceNTucson tested with. I sent an email, and he replied. I never got the reply, although his "sent" box indicated his mail was not only sent, but opened by Me. *Shrug*
As to getting his profile from the boards, I have noticed that a number of profiles have this glitch. But when I go to the home page and enter the user name in the search box, I often come up with a profile. Another glitch.
That said, I always reply, albeit briefly, to any sincerely written email. I have just reopened My profile for search, and I must tell you that I am pretty detailed in My instructions for writing to Me, and not one has followed the instructions yet.
I have read your profile. It is nice in some respects, and offputting in others. It still needs work, and the "heart on your sleeve" can be offputting to some Dominas.
Hang in there. Good things don't happen overnight.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 27

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 11:01:55 AM

ladiespet77

Posts: 30
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline

By the Way ..Diva reminded me Always send at least a face shot...

(in reply to ladiespet77)

Post #: 28

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 11:03:41 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyMorgynn

Sounds to me like Miss Manners needs to take some time off and take a refresher course in manners!!!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo
I always read "Miss Manners" in our daily newspaper and I believe the last time Miss Manners deal with phone calls and letters and emails from people she said quite clearly that replying is not necessary, in fact replying can be seen as stating an interest.

I think she's going by centuries of manners in Western civilization. The person pursued needs to be careful in how she (it is usually a she) responds or risk getting unwanted attention that could damage her standing in her society.

Throughout centuries it is generally considered more polite to ignore someone than to critique or reject them with any sort of explanation. Any explanation should only be generic and brief if given at all. Any of a dialogue risks sending the message that you want to continue talking.

This is the sort of reasoning that she goes through in the paper.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

Post #: 29

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 11:04:01 AM

MzPersnickety

Posts: 7
Joined: 10/3/2005
Status: offline

I know I try to reply to all messages I receive but sometimes real life does get in the way. Also I know I don't have to check this every day. I have gone weeks without checking due to other things being more important.

There is also a feature depending on if you use the sites email or not for a quick response. One that you can even customize to say simply thank you I am not interested. Good luck in your search.

Its merely a suggestion for those of Us who don't want to seem rude but have no real interest in continuing a conversation with someone who is not suited.

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 30

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 11:07:23 AM

OnyxGoddess

Posts: 242
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

Here's another point to consider...sometimes folks don't read a profile in its ENTIRETY and send you a dumb message. My profile clearly states that if you have no picture and you send me something that sounds like something a second grader wrote I won't respond. If a domme goes out of her way to state these things and the person fails that one simple task and messages anyway...well...they deserve deletion.

Another thing too...they might think you're b.s ing them. Maybe a short note-hi ma'am, how are you, i'd like to know more about you. Just my thoughts.

(in reply to ladiespet77)

Post #: 31

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 11:15:17 AM

FLsubmalecd

Posts: 143
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladiespet77

Really ,You are being way to overly dramatic and sensative.Theses women do get Allot of mail. No reply means not interested,simple. You have to be persistent and develop a thicker skin.There Will be Rejection.This has No bearing on You as a person or a sub/slave.Also asking them to respond to every letter is unrealistic.These women are Dommes(not vanilla women on matchmaker site) ,on a Free site getting tons of mail from all sorts of people.
Finding a Good match is not an easy task. This site actually has had a pretty good responce rate for me.Compared to others.....I would say that sending out few emails over the course of a week is Not going to find You a Mistress.Or even get You a reply saying No thanks. If i send out 4 or 5 letters and get 1 reply. That is not bad. Also keep in mind a reply is a long way from a meeting and a meeting is a long way from a good D/s relashionship with Good chemisty....

Be confident in who You are and what You seek.Get a stratagy and stick with it. Most of all do not compimise what You seek in a Mistress... You will find her ...

If you have taken the time to read my responses, how in the world could you make such statements? I am not overly dramtic or overly sensitive! It does not bother me that these ladies did not respond. Don't know where you get that. I am very confident. Have no worries about that. And no need to point out the obvious. Of course it takes time.

As for sending out only a few e-mails goes. I hate to tell you, but that is all there is in my area... a "few Dommes" Bu tthat is a problem in most areas.

Am I expecting to much from this site? Hell no! I hang in there because just like going out to munches or even a night club, we just might find each other. I have no false expectations.

One more time, my post is about how other's feel about being polite. Domme or sub. And I am only referring to sincere well thought out e-mails to those that after reading their profile, might be a match. I surely do not have a form letter to send out to the masses! lol

I can understand why no one Domme or sub would respond to the do-me types with crotch pictures attached. Or the one liners etc. My focus is on good descriptive non-sexual letters to the Dommes.

Overly dramtic and sensitive? Sorry, you are off base with your opinion there pal. LMAO

_____________________________

"Don't make someone a priority in your life, When you're only an option in theirs"

(in reply to ladiespet77)

Post #: 32

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 11:35:27 AM

FLsubmalecd

Posts: 143
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessDustyGold

I am one of the ones ServiceNTucson tested with. I sent an email, and he replied. I never got the reply, although his "sent" box indicated his mail was not only sent, but opened by Me. *Shrug*
As to getting his profile from the boards, I have noticed that a number of profiles have this glitch. But when I go to the home page and enter the user name in the search box, I often come up with a profile. Another glitch.
That said, I always reply, albeit briefly, to any sincerely written email. I have just reopened My profile for search, and I must tell you that I am pretty detailed in My instructions for writing to Me, and not one has followed the instructions yet.
I have read your profile. It is nice in some respects, and offputting in others. It still needs work, and the "heart on your sleeve" can be offputting to some Dominas.
Hang in there. Good things don't happen overnight.

GoddessDustyGold, it is good to see you comment here. You are definately a Lady I admire. You resonded to an e-mail I had sent you. Then after I responded back to you, You wrote again. You offered me some suggestions and opinions as it pertained to me and how you viewed me as a person and as a sub. I did not agree with all that you took the time to write to me about. But I hold you in high regard for your warm, friendly opinions even though we differ on some things. You even sahred your name. I felt honored for you beiong so personal. Thank you Ma'am.
i'd like to think that if I wrote you again, I'd be responded to again. That's the kind of heart you have for other people and it shows. You told me I wera my heart on my sleeve. I agree, i know I do. But to be honest, that's the real me. Should I hide that? Should I not show they type of heart I have? To me it's a tough call. I am trying to demonstrat that I am not one of the thousands of "do-me", "I want", sniveling worms that will "play" submit to any woman to fill his erotic wants only. It is my attempt top separate myself from the masses.
i'm very real, very sincere and yes, have a heart and care for a lot more then just the D/s part of what I seek. I tried to show it. So I guess I do wear my heart on my sleeve. Just not sure it's a bad thing. I'd love for more Dommes to demonstrat that they are interested in more then just what the sub can do for them too. I mean, show they have a heart and really care about the sub as a man first. I see to many Dommes that come off to much like what they don't like in a sub..a "do me Domme" I'd love to know if she is worthy of my gift of submission to her. No, it's not equal, but respect and love are two way streets or it's no good.
GoddessDustyGold, i hold you in high respect Ma'am. I'd even be proud to drop to my knees just to kiss your hand. My compliments Ma'am
Now tell me you don't remember me and break my heart! lol

_____________________________

"Don't make someone a priority in your life, When you're only an option in theirs"

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)

Post #: 33

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 12:24:50 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear FlsubmaleCD, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I have had incidents where correspondences have not gone through and or not sent and such. I really have wondered if I was the only one who has had problems--I see I am not.

I have also had failures in the notification that new messages are on this site. So, that might be an issue as well. In addition, I don’t “live” on the computer and often out of town for one reason or another. That might be the case as well.

That said, I do often get mail from people that have questions, comments, and profile inquiries. Being an educational sort, I don’t mind answering questions even though individuals do not match what I seek. Being an old school sort, I don’t expect any lines as; the east coast is sparse when it comes to quality male slaves.

I also am inclined to make more of an effort to respond when, the writing is written without short cuts and abbreviations or this “U” that replaces you and other shortcuts or lazy spellers. It is important to me, as a dominant to have someone give me full effort in spelling out the words, even misspellings, as I know dyslexia and such hampers some good souls and, I am one who makes spelling errors also. However, I spell the words out and I am one to try to make sure sentences are constructed, as well as a double space for a new paragraph or indentations to show a new paragraph.

The more effort shown the more I return. It is much like the D/s dynamic.

If no response in a few days, I would resend to that person with an opening paragraph, “Dear [insert title/name], New paragraph; Due to the known glitches in this site’s programs in regards to messages, I do apologize if this is a repeat send however, I wish to error on the side of caution as to approach again.

State in a new paragraph your message and a new paragraph to close your messages, as to the hope the site does not loose your message again and then close the note.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 34

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 12:27:52 PM

ladiespet77

Posts: 30
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline

i dont know .....you seem a bit uptight to me.....what can i say..lol......

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 35

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 12:30:46 PM

ladiespet77

Posts: 30
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline

by the way i am just giving You my thoughts ..i thought that was what this was for....i will say this..if You post a topic...be ready for all sorts of opinions...some you may like and some not.....Matters not to me though...good luck

(in reply to ladiespet77)

Post #: 36

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 12:33:18 PM

FLsubmalecd

Posts: 143
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladiespet77

i dont know .....you seem a bit uptight to me.....what can i say..lol......

Nope...I'm about as downloose as you can get lol

Get it? up tight...down loose? OK, my attempt to be funny today.....

_____________________________

"Don't make someone a priority in your life, When you're only an option in theirs"

(in reply to ladiespet77)

Post #: 37

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 1:07:47 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

There are several reasons I may not answer an email right away..
#1 one liners.........hate em
#2 they obviously did not read anything I wrote and are just fishing....I am not a bass
#3 I loved the email, and want to reply when I can give it my full attention without getting interupted and am waiting until I know I have that kind of time.

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)

Post #: 38

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 1:38:08 PM

HayaSierra

Posts: 119
Joined: 4/7/2005
From: In Georgia
Status: offline

Greetings,

I think I finally figured out what it might be... the message board profiles and those from Collarme might be slightly seperate.

Let me explain better -- when you click on a name of a poster here you will see their username, and what posts they posted, and any information they wish to share. But this has to be seperately filled out from one's Collarme profile. I often do not even find a link to one's CM profile, and will have to imput the name into the main page search engine -- just as if I was looking up anything else in the ads.

But as they seem to be seperate it makes it harder to simply click on a name and mail them via that manner.

Hope this helped,
Haya Sierra ---

quote:

ORIGINAL: ServiceNTucson

Yes, that's the other problem. Yet if you put my name in "Username" box on the homepage, or if you simply search submissive males in Arizona, you will find that I do, indeed, have a profile.

_____________________________

Haya Sierra
Haya Of Ka Azdor Estate --
http://groups.msn.com/Domsub/
Basic Information about the Hanian System of D/s

(in reply to ServiceNTucson)

Post #: 39

RE: Dommes NOT replying to mail - 4/26/2006 1:52:44 PM

MistressLina

Posts: 34
Joined: 3/17/2006
From: Montreal
Status: offline

Here's my view:
I get as much as 25 emails per day. I have a job, a soon-to-be husband and a life outside my D/s role. If a letter is uninteresting I don't answer, because a few "rotten eggs" have spoiled it for me with constant nagging, pleading, begging, etc, as DivaZya mentioned.
If someone hasn't read my profile, they don't get an answer, its a waste of my time.
I'd like people to attach a pic if they don't have one on their profile...therefore, if you did not send one FLsubmalecd in an email to me, you would not get a response.
Sort of ironic how you mention how you want your Domme to look, but there is no pic of you...
Anyway, there are tons of reasons someone may not respond, reading their journal (if they have one) and profile fully is a good way to increase your chances though.
Have a nice day.

_____________________________

Mistress Lina...indulge in your fantasy...

(in reply to HayaSierra)

Post #: 40

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