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How did you become a Domme? - 4/26/2006 10:22:15 AM   
WhiteRadiance


Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		I have a question.  How did you become a Domme and get involved in the lifestyle? 

In particular I am curious to know whether you were led there by your own desires and curiosities or whether a submissive male helped you discover your true calling.
 
I was compelled to post this question after reading in another forum how a Master deceived his slave into domming him, and they ended up in a total role-reversal. 
 
As for myself, I was always curious and loved bondage and kinky play.  However only after I met a certain sub, did I get introduced to the lifestyle.  He basically trained me as a Mistress.  Training him was quite an undertaking! 
 
Staci
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/26/2006 10:43:53 AM   
Proprietrix


Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline 		Well, I was introduced to the lifestyle as a kid actually. About 12/13 years old. I lived as a submissive for a long time, and usually under old school type Doms, who had a hell of a time with me because I consistently and constantly tried topping from the bottom. In all of my poly relationships, I was, without question, the alpha sub. After a few bad relationships, (and I can't leave out a few good ones too!) I decided to try switching. I already knew most of the "topping" things (like techniques on play, safety, etc...) just from having been in the lifestyle so long. I found the more I was switching, the more comfortable I felt in the Dominant role. I'd even go so far as to say that my past 2 relationships, I was absolutely the Dominant one, and my partner the submissive one, but due to the local group that had gotten to know me (and their incessant teasing of anyone who even thought about switching roles), I just kind of kept the sub label. It wasn't until I broke away from that local group that I really felt comfortable enough to take on the Domme label.
Never had a vanilla relationship.

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)
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RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/26/2006 10:54:55 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I remember it like it was yesterday, I became a Domme (I prefer Dominatrix) on 04/11/2006 at 1:22:36 pm via Proprietrix, it was the happiest moment of my life.......I was finally freed.


Ron  

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/26/2006 11:01:08 AM   
Moloch


Posts: 1090
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		You have to get bit by one... 

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RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/26/2006 11:07:08 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRadiance

I have a question. How did you become a Domme and get involved in the lifestyle?

In particular I am curious to know whether you were led there by your own desires and curiosities or whether a submissive male helped you discover your true calling.

I was compelled to post this question after reading in another forum how a Master deceived his slave into domming him, and they ended up in a total role-reversal.

As for myself, I was always curious and loved bondage and kinky play. However only after I met a certain sub, did I get introduced to the lifestyle. He basically trained me as a Mistress. Training him was quite an undertaking!

Staci


Since this is just an extension of my personality, I've been doing things similar to BDSM for a long long time. With boyfriends I was always the one to intiate role-playing or bondage.

My husband found online resources for us and that's when I got a positive language to use to describe myself.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/26/2006 11:26:13 AM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline
quote:

You have to get bit by one


hehe.. that was cute. you phoenician bull god.. lol but i got more than bitten to be a domme.

to answer the question of the principle querent.

i discovered my domme side after serving for 4 years as a slave to an older sadist rubber top.. he never used me sexually and i served him from 15 -19. at 19 he released me to take my own slaves. i didn't have the net back then (like 14 years ago).. to help me find a partner.. we met strangely enough at a shoe store (he had a major boot/uniform fetish).

so here i am.. i still have my masochistic tendancies.. i still prefer dominant men for sex and slaves for being slaves. he was of the Gorean ilk,  but we lived it offline. hard.. yes (not being able to touch knives or money..etc).. but we did it.. i still remember my training and i have passed it on to my slaves.

at 19 my first slave was a foot slave/fetishist. he showed me that both worship and control (of another on my part) compliment me. i take males whom are less dominant than me and i control them.. males whom are more dominant than me (albeit VERY rare).. i do acknowledge their dominance and i will respond accordingly.

so i suppose yes, in a way a slave showed me what it was like to be worshipped.. and i haven't looked back since. i still have baron. and it's been a LONG time.

about ten years now








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One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

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RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/26/2006 11:58:40 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		or get nibbled by a lovely submissive.......

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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/26/2006 2:30:39 PM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline
chomp chomp

hehe


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RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/26/2006 4:28:38 PM   
DiannaVesta


Posts: 1087
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Mid-Atlantic area
Status: offline 		When I was born. I truly believe this. Actually I think I am reincarnated so it was in other lives. I must have been a Queen or ancient goddess. I’m just liking all this too much.
  But seriously… I have always been dominant in everything I do. In my early 20’s a close friend called me a Mistress. I thought that was a woman who slept with married men & told him, “NO WAY!” Then he called me a dominatrix. I had never heard that word before. He tired to explain but once he saw the horror in my eyes decided he better show me.
  A few days later he brings me a bunch of bags with videos and magazines. We’re talking the 80’s and things like this were still very underground. I took a week off work. I read every magazine, watched every video. I would have given anything to have access to the web back then. It would have saved me a lot of heartache.
  That period changed my life forever. From that day forward I was in steady pursuit to know every facet of my dominant being.    

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RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/26/2006 5:09:56 PM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline 		couldn't agree more

some are born..

shit i used to make ANYONE that  lost a bet to me. be my slave for a day.. and i'm talking grade school.

i get what you're sayin




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One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

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RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/26/2006 5:19:11 PM   
MochaMistress


Posts: 275
Joined: 1/8/2006
Status: offline 		I was born this way. I used to tie little boys up to the monkeybars and hit them with my rope. And in the winter time I would push them face down in the snow and sit on their heads. Had a sweet little boy that carried my books around in school also. And we are talking elementary school. Hell I never knew there was a label for me until after my divorce 14 years ago.

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RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/26/2006 5:32:22 PM   
MsDominiquenz


Posts: 65
Joined: 4/1/2006
Status: offline 		I was a Dominant child.
Never out of control and needing discipline, just very head stong and the leader, and told off from about the age of 10 for eyeliner, heels, wearing black and long red nails, this was in the 60's 70's..most of my friends were flower power pastel hippys.
I grew up wondering what this boy stuff was all about because I didnt seem to want what the other girls wanted..I had kissed the boy next door, tied a few up and bossed then all around, so .....what ?

I have had a few different careers, the nurse with the heels and eyeliner over her mask.. the fashion designer who clicked about in 4" ALL the time waving the nails teaching modelling, and all in between.
I always wondered what was wrong with the damn world :)

Im told by folk that knew me before I became Me that Im just the same, and pointing out some relationships Ive had.. Ive gone.. ohhh yes.. Ooops.  think the problem was that I was doing this without it being 'labeled' or understood.

I discovered Fetish from living with a secret CD.. and when I found out about it I decided to assist and take the control he wanted... Et Voila..Dominatrix.
From there I wanted more, and to learn more.. so I put myself in positions to do just that, and have never looked back, now there is a name for what I am.  FemDom/FemSup.
This is all so natural to me, and gives me permission to be who I truely am, and like the other Goddesses, have been doing it a few eons. :)


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Be completely still, and listen from the inside.
www.mistressdominiquenz.com
The Dungeon ~ Forum and Chat.

(in reply to DiannaVesta)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/26/2006 6:18:33 PM   
MistressMaxine


Posts: 10
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I have a question.  How did you become a Domme and get involved in the lifestyle? 

In particular I am curious to know whether you were led there by your own desires and curiosities or whether a submissive male helped you discover your true calling.
 
I was compelled to post this question after reading in another forum how a Master deceived his slave into domming him, and they ended up in a total role-reversal. 
 
As for myself, I was always curious and loved bondage and kinky play.  However only after I met a certain sub, did I get introduced to the lifestyle.  He basically trained me as a Mistress.  Training him was quite an undertaking! 
 
Staci 


I was always a bit of a control freak in bed and enjoyed trying new things on my lovers...then I met my husband and he was a true submissive and pain slut.  I gradually learned more about D/s over the years and have played quiet extensively.  I dont think I was born this way, but time, experiences and what felt best with each person brought me to who I am now!

< Message edited by MistressMaxine -- 4/26/2006 6:19:47 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/26/2006 6:53:14 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I was born in the hallway of the hospital, there was no way I was going to wait for a man to delivery me!  I was ready and into the world I came. During the elementary school years I used to love tying boys up when we played cops n robbers, I was very much the tomboy, so I tied the girls up too. Im not picky when it comes to gender
When I was 19 years old my boyfriend was asleep and I decided to tie him up with my pantyhose. When he woke up he was shocked, but quite delighted when I began to slowly torture him sexually and *forced* him to have sex with me. It was as natural as breathing to me and I've been doing it ever since.

~Lashra

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RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/27/2006 1:32:00 AM   
MsMacComb


Posts: 808
Joined: 3/30/2005
From: My Mothers womb.
Status: offline 		Kicked a little boy in the balls while in grade school (he was being mean to me) and the rest is history.

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Not looking for anyone for anything, any time.

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RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/27/2006 7:44:38 AM   
NINASHARP


Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline 		Sitting in the old Vault, which later became the Hellfire Club.  A Mistress is in the center of the stage, putting on quite a show with her disobedient slave, and obviously he wasn't getting what he deserved, and she needs some help, so she releases him from the spanking bench and he comes into the crowd lurking near bye, and points to me and asks me if I would join them? I was wearing a collar and cuffs at the time and was with my dominant escort, and said "Sorry, my hands are tied!"  A few weeks later,  I was mentoring with a local Mistress, and her sub begged her to please let me top him. She asked if I would and I said, "If it pleases you Mistress."  It was the beginning to a new found discovery of switching.
.

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/27/2006 10:00:53 AM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline
quote:

I was born this way. I used to tie little boys up to the monkeybars and hit them with my rope. And in the winter time I would push them face down in the snow and sit on their heads. Had a sweet little boy that carried my books around in school also. And we are talking elementary school. Hell I never knew there was a label for me until after my divorce 14 years ago.


HAHA.. i like the tying little boys up to the monkeybars and beating them with your jumprope..that's classic!

i used to make the boys carry me around on their backs and call me Queen...



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One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

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RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/27/2006 10:17:16 AM   
WhiteRadiance


Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MochaMistress

I was born this way. I used to tie little boys up to the monkeybars and hit them with my rope. And in the winter time I would push them face down in the snow and sit on their heads. Had a sweet little boy that carried my books around in school also. And we are talking elementary school. Hell I never knew there was a label for me until after my divorce 14 years ago.

Thanks for all the great answers!  I love to hear about girls abusing the boys, I did that as well!  I was always beating up the boys in grade school.  However, I suppose I was not specific enough with the question, but what interests me is NOT simply being dominant, but what led you into the lifestyle?
One is not born with a whip in her hand.  She does not think, at age 10 (generally speaking, of course), "gee, I think I will get me a fake penis and screw his ass"... My specific querry is in regard to the moment of enlightenment into the netherworld of being a "Domme", Mistress, Dominatrice... not merely having a dominant personality.
 
For those of you who have answered specifically about the
 
I think we all follow specific paths and make several successive choices to become who we are, but this is merely my opinion.  Had I not been introduced to whips and strap ons and tens units and other kinky people I would have been very happy tying up men and torturing them and slapping their cocks around- no whips needed! :)  Lucky for me I met (online of all places) a "slave" who was also a fetishist and who was well connected to the lifestyle. 
 
I certainly believe that women in general are born dominant! 
 
Thanks for all the feedback!
 
Staci


_____________________________

Staci

The drop of rain makes a hole in a stone not by violence, but by often falling.



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RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/27/2006 10:44:27 AM   
mistressrose10


Posts: 56
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline 		I was always assertive and controlling as long as I can remember but it took a chance encounter in a New york City cafe to make me realize my potential.This older man asks to share my table, spins a fantastic tale of debauchery that held me spellbound.Turns out he was a professor emeritus at a distinguished university who spotted my potential, took the chance to confide all and humbly asked if I would treat him the way his first Mistress had treated him.Ever the adventurous one, I was intrigued and a few weeks later had my first session with him.Needless to say I was a natural and was hooked.The rest is history.

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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How did you become a Domme? - 4/27/2006 11:30:45 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		In all truth I feel like such a geek saying it but the first 38 years of my life were just completely involved with survival and taking care of kids. I did not have the time/energy/information to even think of myself beyond what I had to do next. I am the oldest of 6 kids with two parents that were more involved in their own problems than raising kids. That meant I worked part time, went to school part time and took care of my younger siblings. When I was 16 I had sex for the first time and got pregnant (fertile creature ). I married the guy because that is what one must do, had my son at age 17 and my daughter at age 18. Spent the next few years trying to make the marriage work. Ditched the guy when it became obvious that booze and drugs were more important than being a father. Refused to live on welfare so worked and worked and worked some more, still having siblings living with me off and on. Found a nice guy that wanted to be a father to my kids and my friend. I little less work for me and a decent guy that loved me. I never really cared much for sex, just thought I was weird. Though I always did LOVE the Penthouse and Playboy magazines my ex used to keep around. I was too busy to think about anything other than my day to day "gotta do" lists. Then.........I got blindsided by a fiery little brunette wild thing from Kansas City. She opened my eyes to the world in the most shocking ways. Before we ended the relationship entirely I had gone from "who cares about sex" to insatiable kinky...hmmmm, never tried that......why not! She introduced me to the world of BDSM after my interest had been piqued by a Domina I had known as a friend in another sites chatroom told me on more than one occasion I was a natural. When she was telling me, I was flabbergasted and would just laugh. Then the little wild woman took me to a few clubs and private parties in different cities she lived in during our on an off again thing. Then, another woman that I developed very very deep feelings for hesitantly brought it slowly into our discussions. I think I was not easy for her. I fought it all like crazy for awhile. After all, its certainly NOT the way good little girls in Iowa are raised to be. Welllllllll, screw it. I am definately NOT a good little girl!... thank the goddesses.........

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