tributes, financial domination (Full Version)

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subbie4u66 -> tributes, financial domination (10/25/2010 4:59:56 AM)

i was wondering what E/everyone's thoughts were on the subject of Dom/mes who require tributes.  i realize there are professional Dom/mes and i view that as a different scenario, than i do the ongoing weekly or monthly tributes.  But are tributes standard practice these days?  And if the sub is paying the Dom/me , who is actually in charge in a situation like that??

thanks so much
subbie



oralguy82 -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/25/2010 5:22:37 AM)

Well in my view; being a life long term sub, but married with a vanilla life, it is almost impossible to get an arrangement to serve at the beck and call of a Mistress or Master.

So that being written, that leaves finding someone to play with (for) that you must compensate for Her / His time.

When playing, I just explain what my limits are and then for the rest of the time, I put myself under the control of the Dominate one.

og82



RavenMuse -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/25/2010 5:41:05 AM)

What do I think? Fools and their money are soon parted!



dreamerdreaming -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/25/2010 5:54:22 AM)

If its a financial arrangement, the sub won't keep coming back unless they get what they've paid for- some kind of fulfillment of their needs and desires. The customer is always right.



myotherself -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/25/2010 6:01:06 AM)

OP - the search feature (at the top of the page) is your friend. This discussion arises several times a week, and boils down to this:

If you get off on paying a Domme for services, go to it.

If you don't, then find one who doesn't expect tributes.

The site warns you about sending money to anyone for any reason. Every time you send a message, it tells you so at the top of the page. If you DO send money, then it's entirely your decision and your risk.

As a submissive woman, I've never seen a Dom who wanted or expected tributes. To be honest, I would walk away laughing if one tried!



Nineveh -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/25/2010 10:37:34 AM)

Financial tribute is different from financial domination.  I have done and quite enjoy financial domination, I don't require or ask for any sort of financial tribute, nor would I accept it in most cases.  Financial domination is control over a sub's money.  If I have a sub who is comfortable letting me direct her purchasing decisions I am definitely going to do so as another aspect of her life that I can have control over, that doesn't mean I am going to tell her that she should be spending her money on me.  Having someone asking me permission for such things as buying presents for people, buying an expensive new outfit, and so forth gives me that thrill of power and control that is part of why I am a Dom.  



crazyml -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/25/2010 11:11:54 AM)

Hey there subbie4u66,

I wouldn't say that it's standard practice, but it's not uncommon either. As myotherself says - if you're happy with a domme/dom who expects tribute then no worries (Subject to all of the common sense caveats - eg making sure "She" isn't a dude who has snaffled a couple of internet pics and has set up a paypal account with an alluringly girlie name).

I think that tribute-based domination is a form of pro-domination (and oh my there are tons of threads on this site on that topic too), it works for some and not for others.

I do get the impression that there are plenty of foxy, Dom/Domme types her that wouldn't expect tribute - but I'll let they have plenty of candidates to choose from - so you'll need to put on your dancin shoes to attract one (if that's what you're after),

Good luck!



AquaticSub -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/25/2010 11:25:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbie4u66

i was wondering what E/everyone's thoughts were on the subject of Dom/mes who require tributes.  i realize there are professional Dom/mes and i view that as a different scenario, than i do the ongoing weekly or monthly tributes.  But are tributes standard practice these days?  And if the sub is paying the Dom/me , who is actually in charge in a situation like that??

thanks so much
subbie



In theory, the sub isn't paying for the domme with a tribute. He's just bringing her... well... tribute. "Wow you are amazing, here is 50 bucks" or "Wow you are amazing, I'm sending you a dozen roses every week" or "Wow you are amazing, here is a diamond necklace", etc.

Financial domination, however, doesn't specifically mean that she will get any of your money. She could but she could also be simply telling you how to spend it, how much to put in your savings, how much you get to spend on games, clothes, whatever a month.

Now, pro dommes will also incorporate those practices into their work and not everyone is honest so the people you are talking to could be pros in hiding.

Either way... it really just matters if it makes you happy. If you enjoy bringing a woman tribute, find one who likes getting it. If you like a woman telling you how to spend your money, find one who likes that. If you don't, don't get involved with them.



DarkSteven -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/25/2010 12:55:31 PM)

First, welcome to the boards!

50% of the world's population is female. Even if you limit it by the number who are Domme.... figure out what you want and go for it. Hint - if your interest on any lady includes conversation, flirting, and mutual vanilla activities in addition to kink, you'll have amazing luck.



SaharahEve -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/25/2010 1:03:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbie4u66
i was wondering what E/everyone's thoughts were on the subject of Dom/mes who require tributes. i realize there are professional Dom/mes and i view that as a different scenario, than i do the ongoing weekly or monthly tributes. But are tributes standard practice these days?


They seem to be for many Women. If you can filter out the BS and monetize the process at the same time, why not? I myself require "tribute" if any submissive male really (I mean really) feels the need to attempt engaging in in-depth communication with me, but a proxy of interest like that isn't where it ends. I have other strict formalities in place that make the path very, very narrow, and a paltry sum of cash is the least of their worries.


quote:

ORIGINAL: subbie4u66
And if the sub is paying the Dom/me , who is actually in charge in a situation like that??


No one is "in charge" at that moment, and any man who thinks such an arrangement constitutes a client/provider relationship will be in for a shock. Well, at least with me.



DMFParadox -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/25/2010 7:57:49 PM)

I've been bitten on the ass by this.

I was raised poor and by folks that took very unkindly to handouts. Self-reliance was key. So, I tended to turn down any ideas of my subbies buying anything because 'they should'.

Killed a couple decent relationships that way. I've had to learn to take large gifts from subbies in stride. But I still don't ask for them.



Ait -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/26/2010 8:00:32 AM)

I do feel some amount of disdain for those Dominants that require tribute or who openly ask for it in their profiles before they actually have talked to anyone. I feel much the same way about them as I do about about professional Dominants. I would not say they are wrong, I would not them names and if everyone is happy with the arrangement then I hope it continues to work for them. For me, personally, to make financial (Monetary or Material) exchange a requirement of a relationship cheapens the relationship. I would never be disrespectful should I meet any but... not my thing.

I do not believe tributes are or should be standard practice.

-karen



SaharahEve -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/26/2010 8:45:47 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Ait

For me, personally, to make financial (Monetary or Material) exchange a requirement of a relationship cheapens the relationship.


While I understand your overall feelings, I think the above is taking it a little too far. In the beginning, there is no relationship, and to claim those who practice tribute see monetary exchange as the catalyst for a relationship with a big R is a bit of a straw man. We all have our hoops for jumping. Many men won't entertain a serious relationship with a Woman unless She fulfills a certain physical aesthetic, and many Women would rather not entertain dating men who have no financial security. Do these prerequisites cheapen a relationship that does form when they are met? Certainly not. They may be discriminative and narrow possibility, but that is the choice of the seeker to make.



Arpig -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/26/2010 10:08:23 AM)

quote:

What do I think? Fools and their money are soon parted!
[sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=goodpost.gif][sm=mademyday.gif]



SaharahEve -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/26/2010 10:53:32 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

What do I think? Fools and their money are soon parted!
[sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif][sm=goodpost.gif][sm=mademyday.gif]


Sometimes. There are plenty of fools who refuse to part with their money, too.



naughtynick81 -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/26/2010 5:12:32 PM)

quote:

What do I think? Fools and their money are soon parted!


LOL that's pretty much what it all comes down to.



areallivehuman -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/26/2010 6:33:01 PM)

Damn, I always thought it was a fool and his money are soon partying....



Nineveh -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/26/2010 7:11:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: areallivehuman

Damn, I always thought it was a fool and his money are soon partying....


That's why I always hang out with fools on payday.



PeonForHer -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/26/2010 8:05:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbie4u66

And if the sub is paying the Dom/me , who is actually in charge in a situation like that??


Pretty clearly to me, the sub is in charge.   If you're paying for a service in cash or by means of 'tribute', the person providing the service is . . . a servant.  Still, from what I hear, most competent pro-Dommes are able to make things feel sufficiently 'the other way around' for both parties to feel happy in the arrangement.



openmindedslave -> RE: tributes, financial domination (10/27/2010 9:36:39 AM)

Speaking with friends who do this for a living ...The reality s mentioned above is whoever has the money has the control
You have the money = you choose the person from I am sure alarge list in your area...baring any range limits you may have to traveling to a Professional
the professional will do or act out the fantasy you have barring any limitations they may have .
you dont and they dont care what you do for a living or about being dating you ,, they're professionals their on the clock
When its done , its done... rarely will you come in contact with them again unless you come back to them as a regualr client
You tell them the time your avaiable..
Generally they will dress or have equipment to make the fantasy more enjoyable-
You may or may not feel connected to the fantasy depending on what the fantasy involved and how you connected to the Professional

They have the Money = The professional has done a service and has been paid for one hour what most people in this country would make in a day or longer
There is no sex ,, so as professionals they do not place themselves in danger as sex workers may be doing ...even thought there can be fluids expelled in a session
Since there are so many fetishes and kinks out here, a Professionals come in all shapes and sizes and different ages
As a Professional , some clients will keep comming back to you since they can not share or connect with someone else concerning their needs
Its a professional setting with little start up cost for some and can be a nice side business in this economy
The ugly truth is your dealing with lots of lookers and few spenders .. many will talk a professionals ear off on line and never open their wallets
Most everyone over time , will be stood up, lose money, have people bad mouth them , demean the services that the client is paying for , stiff them and in some cases indanger their
lives because theycrazy ones got through the screening process before meeting.


the reality is alot of people who do this to supplement their income or who do this in as a form of domination with a persons tribute,, are just everday people just tying to make a living and fullfilling fantasys from people who feel they can not or will not open up to others about ,,,



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