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Has this happened before? - 10/28/2010 12:14:03 PM   
crystalclarinet


Posts: 31
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline 		The other day I had one of the most amazing and scary experiences of my life. My dom and I had gotten into a fight, now mind you my dom and i are trying to swing a vanilla and bdsm relationship so it gets kind of complicated at times. Anyways he wanted to make up by having sex which is normal, but for whatever reason I just did not want to have sex I wanted to know that we could make up without having sex because when we have children and lives we won't always have that option. So the two of use just sitting there looking at each other decide to hug and to kiss when all of a sudden a great burst of energy hits me. I have an orgasm just from him touching me and it gets very intense. It feels as if he is taking me all of me mind body and soul and that there is nothing I can do about it. It gets more intense and the orgasms start to come just from him talking to me and I just can't seem to figure this out. Now I feel so connected to him its almost a scary feeling not being around him since my feelings got so laid out on the table. As I write this i realize I am probably not describing this the best where people might understand what exactly I am talking about, but I really am not good at explaining things and this one is something very odd and very special. Has anyone else even come close to something like this?
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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/28/2010 2:54:46 PM   
January


Posts: 891
Joined: 4/17/2004
Status: offline 		Sounds like LOVE!

January

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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/28/2010 3:33:44 PM   
SorceressJ


Posts: 2968
Joined: 7/24/2010
Status: offline 		No, this has not happened to me but DAYUM honey, you just took the whole kiss-and-make-up thing to a whole new level, dintcha? GO YOU!

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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/28/2010 3:38:17 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		Sounds like a Dom moment, actually. He was willing to meet your terms, even though it wasn't his own desire, and you straight-up O'd over it. I'd look into holding the whip now and then if I were you.

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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/28/2010 4:08:19 PM   
Shadow-tiger


Posts: 1775
Joined: 6/8/2008
From: California
Status: offline 		Wow. Seriously, just WOW!!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

Sounds like a Dom moment, actually. He was willing to meet your terms, even though it wasn't his own desire, and you straight-up O'd over it. I'd look into holding the whip now and then if I were you.

Oh please, he showed compassion and willingness to not push which got quite the reaction. This means she now has the power in the relationship?

Quick tip, it's power exchange. Give and take makes the world go 'round.

< Message edited by Shadow-tiger -- 10/28/2010 4:09:16 PM >

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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/28/2010 4:17:45 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		Yeah, but not all power exchanges result in a fucking sexless orgasm.

Context. For example, I'm contextualizing racial, sexually oriented and otherwise insulting epithets right now just for you. See the power of context?

Edited to add, there's no real heat there, it's just an interesting way to present a thought exercise. Heh.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 10/28/2010 4:23:05 PM >

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"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/28/2010 5:36:37 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Whole body orgasm. I've read about them but not experienced them. I'm envious.

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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/28/2010 8:47:08 PM   
Communist42


Posts: 11
Joined: 12/23/2009
Status: offline 		It sounds like a fight-or-flight reaction to me.  If you have been experiencing emotions like fear with sexual connotations, the parts of your brain which are responsible for reacting to emotion could have become conditioned to responding to those emotions with sexual feelings.  If you were agitated, (in your situation I probably would have felt anxiety that the problem would not be resolved appropriately), I think it's possible that you were torn between demanding what you wanted (fight) and and giving in (flight).  If you have repetitively experienced resolution of either conflict through sex or orgasm in the past, and the conflict was particularly severe this time, it is not unreasonable to imagine that you could have been triggered to have an extreme orgasmic episode.  I would even opine that you just happened to be in a brain-chemistry state which would allow massive release of opioid endorphins.

I have had similar episodes, though nothing (unfortunately) as wonderful as what happened to you.  If you are able to continue exposing yourself to the same series of stimulae, you may be able to experience things like that more often.  You have a very lucky dom.

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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/28/2010 9:38:43 PM   
Shadow-tiger


Posts: 1775
Joined: 6/8/2008
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

Yeah, but not all power exchanges result in a fucking sexless orgasm.

Context. For example, I'm contextualizing racial, sexually oriented and otherwise insulting epithets right now just for you. See the power of context?

Edited to add, there's no real heat there, it's just an interesting way to present a thought exercise. Heh.

*snort* Woohoo! My own personal epithets!


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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/28/2010 11:12:18 PM   
CollarSubGirl


Posts: 24
Joined: 2/19/2010
Status: offline 		Actually it can happen. from what I've heard, there is about 10 percent of women that can think themselves to an orgasm. I think what you really had though was a "sub" moment. Where His domination yet caring and understanding for you, taking care of you, caused you to orgasm from His power and His domination over you. I think you became more of a slave/sub to Him. You felt His power, And you gave yourself up to Him once more with your orgasm. That is what I think was why your connected to Him more deeply now. I think that's also why the orgasms kept coming for you.

But that's just my opinion.

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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/29/2010 5:09:41 AM   
phoenixmoonn13


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CollarSubGirl

Actually it can happen. from what I've heard, there is about 10 percent of women that can think themselves to an orgasm. I think what you really had though was a "sub" moment. Where His domination yet caring and understanding for you, taking care of you, caused you to orgasm from His power and His domination over you. I think you became more of a slave/sub to Him. You felt His power, And you gave yourself up to Him once more with your orgasm. That is what I think was why your connected to Him more deeply now. I think that's also why the orgasms kept coming for you.

But that's just my opinion.



i agree with you totally. i am very sub but have deeper sub moments and in these moments he can command me to cum without even any build up or even feeling any need or sexual in anyway and it is a very powerful moment. ( i am easy to cum on command but usually need to be feeling sexual or needy first)

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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/29/2010 10:14:48 AM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Whole body orgasm. I've read about them but not experienced them. I'm envious.


I would go along with 'full body orgasm' too. I am lucky enough to have full body orgasms (though not very often :( )
To the op, did it build up and feel as though it was running through your entire body, especially along your spine?
With me, they never happen during sex but rely on loving moments. Orgasm is the last thing on my mind and so I'm not thinking myself into orgasm.

The first time it happened to me I just kept saying 'omg fuck whats happening?!?'
I really hope this is what your experiencing because if you are, it just gets better every time :)

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 10/29/2010 10:17:04 AM >

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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/29/2010 12:17:12 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Show off! lol

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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/29/2010 12:23:39 PM   
crystalclarinet


Posts: 31
Joined: 10/29/2009
Status: offline 		This seems to have been at least in the best manner that I can describe it something that took me entirely. See it started as we were sitting on the floor then like an energy that overtook me it seemed to swell in my stomach and then spread. Once my Dom realized what was happening he seemed to do something which I have no idea what that was to intensify that feeling. I do not think there is any way that I was thinking myself into orgasm because sex was the last thing on my mind. We had our disagreement his phone rang I went outside to smoke I came back inside we sat down and looked at each other... He gave me a line about how I am teaching him how to become more loving and learn to love and not just use a woman for her sexual body then we sat, held hands, hugged, and kissed. We knew we were not going to have sex as he was on his way out the door at that moment and then as we were holding hands this energy build up from my stomach to everywhere and caused that orgasmic reaction. I can say I have never had such an experience before in my life, and it is exciting but terrifying and overwhelming all at the same time. It feels like I have moved power exchange to an entire different level where it almost seems as if between the two of us there are no more limits even though there are. I don't know if this stuff makes sense to anyone as I am still trying to figure it out myself, but I do know that it seems to be a wonderfully scary experience. 

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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/29/2010 1:47:53 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		That push-pull-push-pull-give is exactly what I look for sometimes. It's part of what gives me my Dom boner. Except in this case he was the one who gave you what you wanted.

So you're teaching him how to become more loving? Sure, whatever. I'd personally only say that if a sub did things that showed she could actually be submissive even when the chips are down, the bullshit is swept off the table and it's hard--in other words, showing that she was truly putting my desires first, allowing me to be freely selfless because I can trust she'll pay it back with interest--but I'm not him. Maybe you two have a dynamic that can make it work.

So now let me ask you this. Are you going to keep requiring him to ask permission of you before making with the sexy time, now? Really?

There's nothing wrong with that. But don't call it something it's not.


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bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/29/2010 2:22:11 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Oh good lord! lol It sounds like the submissive and dominant had no issue with it. Why would some online dom question what another dominant is doing with his submissive when they are both content with how it all worked out. Why would some online dom think he had a right to judge either based on his own take of what dominance and submission are?

Dude... seriously, do you really think that everyone must live their dynamic's according to your perceptions and approval? lol

OP, I am so glad you had the wonderful outcomes you have had!


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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/29/2010 3:22:30 PM   
Communist42


Posts: 11
Joined: 12/23/2009
Status: offline 		All experiences take place in the brain.  When you orgasm, it is always because you think yourself there.

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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/29/2010 4:06:47 PM   
allthatjaz


Posts: 2878
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline 		crystal, don't listen to someone who demeans this. This was your experience and not theirs!
My man was over the moon when this started to happen to me and your man should be celebrating this with you, which I'm sure he is.
This is way outside the spectrum of being sub or dominant. It was only obtainable from a very strong physical and emotional bond and even then you are incredibly lucky and very unusual if you can reach this sort of climax.

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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/29/2010 5:39:49 PM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

is way outside the spectrum of being sub or dominant


Nobody's demeaning a thing here.

This happened in a moment of trust that was so significant it gave her an epiphany. Hooray!

Such an experience led me to learn more about the lifestyle because it was beyond sex, but not outside the spectrum of D/s.

it was about trust and yes, control, and obedience. He curtailed his own expectations of sex for her. He changed his behavior for her. And it hit her right in the G-spot.

Maybe the overall context made it possible. Maybe she'll look into things and decide that she wants overall to remain a submissive. But I wouldn't be surprised if she starts seeing other ways that his, shall we say, consideration for her needs turns her on.

That is fucking dominance, people. It doesn't have to be a static thing. It can be give and take, or only within the context of her overall submission that it hits her like this, or whatever. But it is what D's get out of doing what we do. I get fucking high off the right girl bowing to my directions. I recognize this feeling she had. And if it's not dominance I just don't know what is.

So I'm suggesting she look into switch. Maybe check that board a bit, talk around, see if she strikes a chord. It's not a fucking bad word.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 10/29/2010 6:03:33 PM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

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RE: Has this happened before? - 10/29/2010 6:11:38 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline 		DMF... Its more the presenation then the words.

Its also your opinion on the matter, your comming across as very hostile, very well "I would never allow that so you must not be sub because my way is the only way" in your words.

Shes not switch from the way its described, shes trying to make the RELATIONSHIP not one part or the other grow by changing the, "I fucked up lets have sex" to some place where they can actually work through the fuck up. Children are a force that change everything including the relationship. where all parties Dom or sub need to adjust to that. Fucking like rabbits might have worked with a 4 month old but sure as hell doesnt work with a 4 year old.



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