Why do we endure the pain?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Why do we endure the pain?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Why do we endure the pain?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Why do we endure the pain? - 4/26/2006 10:33:33 PM

babysburnin

Posts: 421
Joined: 2/16/2006
Status: offline

Since reading the responses to the following post, I have been pondering a question, one that I am searching to figure out myself. The general consensus was that most of us "do not like pain - it hurts". So why do we subject ourselves to it? What do we get from it? There is a part of me that likes that attention - but I'm having difficulty "putting my finger on" just exactly why.

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Hello,

i have been reading the past posts on subspace in search of an answer about if i am keeping myself out of subspace by not relaxing and fighting the pain, but i have not found anything that specifically answers the question that i have. i know the each submissive is different, and each person feels sub-space differently. my question stems from a recent playing experience where the Dom made a comment about my fighting the endorphins by not relaxing and not focusing on breathing out the pain and i am wondering if that is what i am doing. If by relaxing between painful stimuli (i always feel them as pain) and not staying tense would have a different result and allow me to actually go into sub-space. (hope all that makes sense) So i was wondering if someone else had experienced the same thing and if relaxing and the lamaze type breathing helped. Thank you

_____________________________

-Babysburnin

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself."
- Jean Anouilh

"The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it."
- Lord Macaulay

Post #: 1

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/26/2006 10:50:50 PM

Reasonable

Posts: 459
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline

I'll answer it once more.

I think I know the answer babies. Pride.

To endure, to suffer, to please.
To overcome.

I have seen it too many times-from the other side of the whip.

(in reply to babysburnin)

Post #: 2

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 1:08:22 AM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

It gives a sense of surrender to me sometimes, other times when I'm totally open its like a need to be touched, deeply, and intesnse sensation gets to that spot.

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to Reasonable)

Post #: 3

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 4:01:31 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I feel controlled the most when I submit to things that I do not like, and for me that includes pain. It makes me feel "tough" (as though I've overcome a challenge) and it also fills me with pride because I know that he enjoys watching me submit to things that I find distasteful.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 4

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 4:40:03 AM

fastlane

Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline

Because of that Damn cliche' "No Pain No Gain!"
Marketing Hype....I tell you, I hate pain and have found the worst to be someone who is a pain in the ass to me....like my boss

_____________________________

Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 5

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 5:36:17 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

I don't like pain and my Master does not like to give me pain. The only time i accept pain is if i am being displined or punished (not that it happens often) then i know that i earned it.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 6

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 5:49:35 AM

heartfeltsub

Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

As you quoted me in your OP, i thought i should at least respond (smiling). Though i do feel some sense of pride after the fact, it is not pride that motivates me to endure the pain that i hate, it is instead a strong need to submit. To me it is not really submission if it is something i like or something that is easy for me, that would be pleasure and comfort respectively, not submission. It may be exactly what the Dom wants done, but it has not taken me out of my comfort zone and therefore isn't really submission for me (not speaking about any once else).

So taking pain, which i strongly dislike (am thinking i should stop using the hate word and it may make it easier to deal with), enduring pain for someone else's pleasure that to me fulfills that need to actually be submitting.

You asked a very good question.

heartfelt

(in reply to littleone35)

Post #: 7

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 6:03:15 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

Hello All,
For me the intense sensation play is very exciting for me.
It's the whole martial arts challenge of body control, it's the zen control of mind over matter, it's the challenge of your full submission, and it's an ancient dance we do with the Dominant in his ability to take you any way he wants to. Surrendering myself to the whim of a Verile, strong, sexy, man and knowing I'm the center of his attention is incredibly freeing and hot for me.

Learning to center yourself and free your mind from the stimulus and be willing to take the journey your Dom leads you on is a wonderful place for me to be.
Sometimes when things are beginning to go over my pain threshold I think I'm not going to be able to take it. In the end knowing I did indeed take it and I'm OK is a very soothing place for me. It lets me know no matter what comes my way I can make it through as long as I approach it with the right frame of mind.
I think the power exchange during a scene overall is the main thing that makes it sexy for me. Knowing I'm not in control, but under someone Else's helps me just enjoy the ride. I love that.
Suzanne

< Message edited by plantlady64 -- 4/27/2006 6:04:21 AM >

(in reply to babysburnin)

Post #: 8

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 6:09:59 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

My answer- I love everything about pain except the pain part.

It's the "everything else" that lets me get through the pain...and the fact that I'm shackled down, ordered not to go anywhere, and bound by my commitment to endure it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to babysburnin)

Post #: 9

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 6:46:14 AM

1969slave

Posts: 40
Joined: 5/23/2005
Status: offline

i have a love/ hate thing with the whip. there are a ton of other punishments i'm given but the whip is basic and sexual to me. to offer up my wrists and have them pulled up over my head till i stand on the balls of my feet. i'm naked, helpless and so open. after the first few the pain, for me, is more than wax or pins and i do hate it but than comes the pleasure of his touch but soon the pain returns and i cry and screem again over and over. later i have such pride in the sight of my back and the pain i took i wish i could show it off at the pool.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 10

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 7:23:48 AM

OTKkindaGirl

Posts: 447
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: NW Arkansas
Status: offline

Wow.... so many cool answers. i endure the pain because it goes much more deeper for me than just the surface. to me the physical pain is an atonement for the emotional pains that i hide and hold on to. i tend to overthink and over analyze things. when the physical pain becomes so intense that everything that has been bothering me is lost by going into subspace, my mind is free from all thought. i endure the pain for the freedom of myself and it doesn't matter whether i am unrestrained or bound. i have yet to cry during a scene but it doesn't mean that i haven't been near tears or silently begging for mercy. the pain is a relief to me, to escape everything except the one bringing it forth for me. Release of my tears comes after everything is over and the nurturing begins.

Another thing, last year i was asked why i liked pain and really what made me turn towards it. i was raised by the old adage, spare the rod, spoil the child. when i was bad i was swiftly punished and allowed to pick out the belt of choice. i always went for the thinnest, strappiest one (rather than the large thick one that was my siblings favorite, because it hardly hurt at all). i reveled in the whelps that were left behind even though i would cry during the spanking. my dad loved me unconditionally and he truly hated to discipline me. i chose the harshest belt because if he felt i needed discipline then i didn't want to lie to him by choosing the less than harsh belt. i would never lie to my dad. to choose the easy way out was a lie. can you imagine a six year old thinking this way?

i guess my need for atonement has always been there for me. at the time he had no idea that i was being sexually molested and religiously brainwashed by my abusers, so the need for making up for being bad was deep within me and as a child i believed that what was happening to me was my fault, just like my abusers told me they were. i know better now. but it doesn't take away what i learned at a young age.

** so basically i endure the pain for freedom of self, atonement, and associate it to unconditional love. The fact that my Master does it for my benefit is a bonus.

< Message edited by OTKkindaGirl -- 4/27/2006 8:24:13 AM >

_____________________________

~~ lil darlin' ~~
hope

(in reply to 1969slave)

Post #: 11

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 7:46:10 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: babysburnin

So why do we subject ourselves to it?

this slave can't speak for "we", only for herself~#1 reason = it pleases Master. there are a few others, but that is the most important one.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 4/27/2006 7:47:00 AM >

(in reply to babysburnin)

Post #: 12

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 7:47:24 AM

Wolfspet

Posts: 143
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline

I must be a odd one.

I don't endure the pain, I embrace it.
It is part of my sexual makeup. It makes me wet & I beg for more. In many ways the sadism he inflicts on me is a service, or type of reward.

I was not beat as a child, have had no molestation issues. I have always fantasized about being spanked, whipped, forced.

I am a masochist.

(in reply to OTKkindaGirl)

Post #: 13

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 8:08:08 AM

louiseatlast

Posts: 4
Joined: 3/14/2006
Status: offline

There are a couple of answers on this thread that ring true for me. Pride, yes, but only in context of devotion: endure and suffer for my Mistress or Master, and prove to myself i can.
And letting go into the real self through the pain. I too have only cried at the end of a session, but what a release of distress from the rest of life it is. I sometimes hate the pain, and that is when the best stress relief and freedom is going to occur. I sometimes love the pain and turn it into sexual energy, which is a competely different sub space, an enjoyable hedonistic one. Only once have they come together, in a needle play and nipples session, which was unimaginable in intensity. Wow, not every day play, that's for sure :) But there have to be times, when you're not in the mod and the whip or crop bites in, that you ask yourself, 'why do i do this?' and sometimes struggle to find the answer.

Louise

(in reply to Wolfspet)

Post #: 14

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 8:39:18 AM

sezM846

Posts: 6
Joined: 4/10/2006
From: Manchester England
Status: offline

Master and i were at a club recently when He got His bullwhip out. He knows that i hate the bullwhip, so was teasing me by cracking it nearby lol. When W/we got up to play i assumed He had put the whip away, ( well hoping really lol). After playing for a while i felt an intense slice of pain, i knew it was the bullwhip and as i wasn't tied down i could simply have moved away from it. However i didn't want to show Master up so i took it. It was the most intense experience i have had and sent me deeper into subspace than i had ever been. It wasn't just the pain that did that however it was the knowledge that i had done something for Master that i didn't really like and seeing the pride on Master's face after was amazing. I still don't like the bullwhip.... it hurts... but i now know that i can take the pain. Sorry i am probably rambling, but the answer as to why i took the pain is cos i love Master and wanted to make Him both happy and proud.

sez xxxxxxxxxx

_____________________________

slave to Mitch846......life is not a rehersal..remember that and regret nothing!

(in reply to babysburnin)

Post #: 15

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 8:54:33 AM

petcerina

Posts: 143
Joined: 4/4/2005
Status: offline

Maybe i haven't been hit hard enough. It's supposed to hurt? Every once in a while it hurts, but not often. Usually there wasn't enough build up to get to that point of intensity. Anyway, to answer the question: i "endure" pain because it feels good. It also can put me into subspace if others are watching and i'm able to take more pain and then it turns into a truly incredible experience.

(in reply to sezM846)

Post #: 16

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 8:59:17 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petcerina
Maybe i haven't been hit hard enough. It's supposed to hurt? Every once in a while it hurts, but not often. Usually there wasn't enough build up to get to that point of intensity. Anyway, to answer the question: i "endure" pain because it feels good. It also can put me into subspace if others are watching and i'm able to take more pain and then it turns into a truly incredible experience.

Depends on the intention and where you want to go with it.

Most masochists like pain in very specific ways- with warmups, particular toys, particular areas. It's easy to avoid those and go straight to the "actual pain."

And if you aren't a masochist- then it's always pain.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to petcerina)

Post #: 17

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 9:05:29 AM

mixielicous

Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline

i like the being dominated part knowing [on a level] i am the weaker one.

i also have kinda a thing for pain, but He takes me past the pleasure threshold, into a place where, yes as many have stated, submit. it is calming, i enjoy the way i feel after.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 18

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 11:08:41 AM

cutelinygurl84

Posts: 84
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline

I myself don't like pain and it does not turn me on. But if being punished I would except it like I am supost to.

Cutelinygurl84

(in reply to mixielicous)

Post #: 19

RE: Why do we endure the pain? - 4/27/2006 11:28:52 AM

rapture2778

Posts: 53
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

at first i get really excited about the "playing", then it starts to hurt, and i think ok any min. it is going to stop (LOL it never does) and then i try to "black out" my mind, to stop thinking things like "is this almost over?" and "ouch that hurts!" i try to relax my body and mind and just as you said breathe, then things get fuzzy, i feel no pain, just a really really good "floaty" type feeling (ie my subspace) so to answer your question, yes i think that if you relax a bit (physically and mentally) your chances at reaching "sub space" will come easier....good luck!!!

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Why do we endure the pain?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.078