Age and honesty

Age and honesty (Full Version)

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huntme -> Age and honesty (4/26/2006 10:48:23 PM)
Recently, I received an email from a Domme who insisted I be totally honest, yet her own profile pictures betrayed her! Why do women feel compelled to lie about their age? It is very easy to tell a woman's age by her pictures, don't women here know that? While I will often be polite and allow someone to perpetrate this self deception, I do not feel compelled to then be honest with them in return. Oh, I have heard all the excuses, "she feels younger, she looks younger, she is more comfortable in the company of younger men, it is just a white lie, men lie too." Yes, I have heard all the rationalizations, yet, isn't a lie still a lie no matter how you justify it? Can you ever trust someone who lies to you and to themselves? Perhpas someone can explain this to me since I am curious about this particularly destructive form of deceit. Oh and after taking a closer look at profile pictures, it appears that it is the majority, not the minority who are being dishonest here on collarme. I mean come on, someone who looks 60 trying to pass themselves off as 45, it has to be a joke right?

misfire -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 10:55:07 PM)
Did you see some form of valid ID that justified this rant? I'm nearly 23, yet I'm told I look 16. One of my best friend's mothers looks 60, but she's only 43. Women do not always look their age, my friend. So unless it's Barbara Bush claiming she's a young, nubile submissive ready to go, I'm gonna have to give these unknown ladies the benefit of the doubt and say ... they may not be lying after all.

huntme -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:02:16 PM)
I am afraid to give these women the bennefit of the doubt would be to stretch the very definition of the word! Be real, take a look for yourself? Oh, and it is more likely that your friend's mother is actually 60 and telling you she is 43.

darq -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:07:44 PM)
I dont look my age either ... Up until recently I apparently didn't sound my age ... Men would speak to me on the phone for the first time and always ask if I was sure I was old enough to be speaking to them. They said my voice was pitched like a little girl's ... The point is, just because she looks older than her pic doesn't always mean that she is ... Or the other way around. My own mother is nearly 70 and looks closer to 50. She doesn't lie about her age at all ... She's damned proud of the years she's earned but the point remains ... Looks don't always tell the whole story. If it really bothers you that much ... Look for women who list themselves as 33 ... I'm sure you'll find the real 43 year olds that way.

Wulfchyld -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:08:48 PM)
Just call it a red flag. If they aren’t going to be honest and forthcoming about they’re ages they are most likely not going to be honest about much else. Loki

misfire -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:10:36 PM)
I hate to seem rude, really, I do, but I would know the age of my friend's mother a lot better than you, and I bristled a bit over your presumption that I'm a liar. And then I remembered that it's the internet. We're not all supermodels; we're not afforded the luxury of numerous botox treatments and airbrushing and makeup artists to make us look like the 45-year-old actresses who look 20. We get old, and it's not always "pretty."

Wulfchyld -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:18:14 PM)
quote: We get old, and it's not always "pretty." misfire, I am willing to bet money you stay beautiful forever. Loki

huntme -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:18:22 PM)
I think perhpas you did not read what I asked since the issue of age is only part of my question. I asked why someone would expect honesty when they themselves lie about their age? And I think you are wrong, people look their age and sound their age. The men who told you that you sounded too young were perhpas just being kind, something men do to flatter a woman especially when they know she wants to hear it. But that is off the point, again I am just curious about why women lie about their age yet expect honesty in retrun. It is a simple question really.

ServiceNTucson -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:22:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: misfire Did you see some form of valid ID that justified this rant? I'm nearly 23, yet I'm told I look 16. One of my best friend's mothers looks 60, but she's only 43. Women do not always look their age, my friend. So unless it's Barbara Bush claiming she's a young, nubile submissive ready to go, I'm gonna have to give these unknown ladies the benefit of the doubt and say ... they may not be lying after all. Barbara Bush IS young and nubile, although I don't know about submissive. Oh wait, you're talking about the President's mother, not his daughter.

misfire -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:23:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld misfire, I am willing to bet money you stay beautiful forever. Loki You know how to make a girl blush, Loki. ;)

misfire -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:27:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: huntme I think perhpas you did not read what I asked since the issue of age is only part of my question. I asked why someone would expect honesty when they themselves lie about their age? And I think you are wrong, people look their age and sound their age. The men who told you that you sounded too young were perhpas just being kind, something men do to flatter a woman especially when they know she wants to hear it. But that is off the point, again I am just curious about why women lie about their age yet expect honesty in retrun. It is a simple question really. Here's a simple answer: she may not be lying, and thus is perfectly entitled to expect honesty. Another answer: she's a heavy-duty smoker, and that aged her appearance. The point is, there's no proof that these women are lying, other than the One True Proof in your head -- and since none of us have access to that, we can't ascertain whether or not these women in question are really lying. If it's your gut feeling, not the Taco Bell you had last night, telling you something's fishy, chalk it up as a bad experience and move on. (Oh, and by the way, we really don't look and sound our age all the time. I'm still told I'm too young to buy cigarettes, and my ID is fake -- until they scan it, of course.)

bignipples2share -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:29:22 PM)
Okay, this whole thing makes me laugh. I agree with misfire 100%. Not everyone is blessed with great genes that are going to allow them to age gracefully. Not everyone lives in Hollywood, or on the big screen. This goes for both men AND women. I've stood beside employees that are the same age and there can be a big difference in how they've aged. I've friends I've grown up with, some look much, older, some look much younger than their age. Again, this goes for both male and female. If you're so hung up on it, maybe they'll cam for you, but with your attitude, I'm not sure you'd believe that someone who looked 45 in their cam you would believe that they're actually almost 60 if they told you they were. I'm sure you'd then be saying that if they're really that age, that they've had a major overhaul at a plastic surgeons LOL. I say, stay offline, don't look at anyones picture and when you meet them on the streets, ask for their ID. That way, when you don't believe their age, you can tell them that they lied to the department of motor vehicles.

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:33:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: huntme Recently, I received an email from a Domme who insisted I be totally honest, yet her own profile pictures betrayed her! Why do women feel compelled to lie about their age? It is very easy to tell a woman's age by her pictures, don't women here know that? While I will often be polite and allow someone to perpetrate this self deception, I do not feel compelled to then be honest with them in return. Oh, I have heard all the excuses, "she feels younger, she looks younger, she is more comfortable in the company of younger men, it is just a white lie, men lie too." Yes, I have heard all the rationalizations, yet, isn't a lie still a lie no matter how you justify it? Can you ever trust someone who lies to you and to themselves? Perhpas someone can explain this to me since I am curious about this particularly destructive form of deceit. Oh and after taking a closer look at profile pictures, it appears that it is the majority, not the minority who are being dishonest here on collarme. Fist I would love to see your profile to be sure you aren't being a hypocrite, but will give you the benefit of the doubt and respond that I agree that it is important to tell the truth when trying to connect personally with a stranger, especially on the net. In my opinon, it depends on the gravity of the lie being told, the reasons for said lie, and the consequences to another. For example: you are a 30yo male, looking for a lady 25-35 because you still want to reproduce, and she lies about being 40, says she is 35. Are you really going to make life altering plans with her, before you meet her in person, see some identification, and develop trust in her? I don't believe anyone tells the whole truth all the time, unless indeed he/she is deceiving him/herself that he is in fact 100% honest all of the time. I'm here to tell you that I have never lied to anyone about my age or appearance, but have been lied to almost 90% of the time on one or both categories by men who've approached/met me. One brilliant (on a multitude of subjects) getleman couldn't figure out whether collarme was asking for his age, or year of birth, and since his year of birth was close to the age I seeked, he went with that. I perhaps should have taken that deception seriously because he later betrayed me on a deeper level. Anyway......... Get to know people, beyond simple numbers and looks, and use common sense (still learning my own lessons though). M

carolsea -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:35:10 PM)
OH this sounds fun! Can we have a "guess my age contest" by our profile pics? Nobody ever gets mine right! LOL I'm not good at guessing, either. Some people look their age, some don't. Genes, lifestyle, stress levels, all these and more determined whether someone looks their age. What difference does it make, really? I mean, I figure we're as old as we feel and act anyway - unless you're dealing with someone who has emotional maturity problems... but then, that could be any age, too, couldn't it?? [sm=shake.gif] CarolSea

huntme -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:36:45 PM)
Seems I struck a nerve! How do you know your friend's Mother's age? To quote you, "did you check her ID?" And what do botox treatments, actresses or supermodels have to do with my quesiton? I asked about age and honesty, not about the stupidity of the cosmetics industry. My question was and is one of hypocrisy. I am not sure why you answer it with an excuse?

Wulfchyld -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:38:46 PM)
huntme, go have a look at wytchywoman and tell me she looks her age. Loki

misfire -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:41:09 PM)
Yeah, I did check her ID. Saw her birthdate, and I told my friend she looked older than she was. She laughed about it, and then we went to the movies. The end. I'm not answering with an excuse. It's an explanation that you're unwilling to hear, because you're so caught up in some perceived slight and hypocrisy. There's no concrete proof that you were lied to, therefore I have to do as I said earlier, and give the women the benefit of the doubt. Here's a tip. Be honest all the time. Don't let someone potentially lying to you keep you from being honest; that's just trying to excuse a lie by saying "she did it first."

meatcleaver -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:43:58 PM)
Vanity, vanity all is vanity. Since one of the main reasons for someone's profile is to meet someone for kink, one should accept that they are advertisements and that an exaggerated gloss is going to be part of the profile. Yep, lying about ones age is a still a lie but I wouldn't say it's a hanging offence as the person in question must know they are going to be found out sooner rather than later. I'm just assuming people are thinking if they can make initial contact with people they will be able to sell themselves which is what it is all about. Just look at it as part of the fun of the chase. A photo that flatters someone is no less of a lie but its not seen as a lie because no words come out of the persons mouth. Using make up is another. For me its all too trivial to worry about. Most lies aren't going to get beyond a meeting so if you find someone prevaricating over a meet, then start to wonder why.

Wulfchyld -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:47:36 PM)
Hmmm…. rethinks his profile So a profile filled with lies is the trick. Thanks for the tip. Loki re-writes profile

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Age and honesty (4/26/2006 11:50:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver Yep, lying about ones age is a still a lie but I wouldn't say it's a hanging offence as the person in question must know they are going to be found out sooner rather than later. I'm just assuming people are thinking if they can make initial contact with people they will be able to sell themselves which is what it is all about. Just look at it as part of the fun of the chase. A photo that flatters someone is no less of a lie but its not seen as a lie because no words come out of the persons mouth. Using make up is another. For me its all too trivial to worry about. Most lies aren't going to get beyond a meeting so if you find someone prevaricating over a meet, then start to wonder why Perfect attitude and advice! M

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