love? (Full Version)

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hornsnahalo001 -> love? (11/2/2010 11:54:43 AM)

As a master, can you be in love with your slave/sub? To me this doesn't seem weak its about being happy but i was curious.Thanks!



switch2please -> RE: love? (11/2/2010 11:58:11 AM)

Of course you can. You're both still people, right? You share physicality and intimacy? For some it's a natural step.



Jaybeee -> RE: love? (11/2/2010 12:11:07 PM)

As I discovered in my thread, you can LOVE her as you would a wife, but you still need to maintain a firmer hand on her than most husbands do. Best analogy was the parent-child dynamic, just because the parent may have to spank the child one day, doesn't mean he won't take the kid out for ice-cream later that day.

Being IN love is very tricky - it's the only time when the rules go out the window AND, if she is equally besotted, you can get away with letting her get away with insubordination. You must not let the indiscipline last, however, as soon as the initial lovestruck rush wears off, reassert.



DesFIP -> RE: love? (11/2/2010 12:49:12 PM)

Just like not all parents punish their children, not all dominants punish their subs. Just as some horse trainers beat the horses until it cowers with fear and does what it's been taught, others teach the horse that the trainer is someone to trust, to partner with.

And some of us don't need our dominants to always be worrying if they've 'allowed' insubordination, some of us prefer a dominant who inspires our submission.

You can have a relationship without love but I think it's far better with.



Hillwilliam -> RE: love? (11/2/2010 12:53:28 PM)

Love your sub?


2 words

HELL YES



Nineveh -> RE: love? (11/2/2010 1:53:25 PM)

Absolutely.

In my opinion if Love destroys your dominance you are not as dominant as you thought.  I express love with control and dominance, and I don't dominate purely out of selfishness, I do because it fulfils her and I do my best to build her up rather than break her down.  Yes, I am a sadist, and i will hurt someone that I love, if she is a masochist then she'll enjoy it as well, if she is not and simply submits to pain out of her desire to please than I am allowing her to please me in a way that is a sacrifice for her, neither of those are incompatible with love.  Love is not weakness, love is not submission although a submissive will express it that way, love is simply love.



Focus50 -> RE: love? (11/2/2010 2:13:42 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: hornsnahalo001

As a master, can you be in love with your slave/sub? To me this doesn't seem weak its about being happy but i was curious.Thanks!


Whoa, I'd hope so...!

Despite the impression the strutting hardcore can give, not all of us in the lifestyle are looking for "meat" to fuck, flog and discard at our abusive, irresponsible whim.

I do it "backwards".... I initially seek out "submissive" but if the one I find isn't someone I can like as a person and form emotional connection with, the rules, ropes and floggers etc are irrelevant until I find someone I can form attachment to.

Focus.



WolfyMontgomery -> RE: love? (11/2/2010 2:46:47 PM)

What Focus said =D

Though Master and I don't really think of it as "backwards"... I like to call it the "scenic route".

Then again, we're a not your average M/s couple either - since we met in a totally vanilla setting and I hadn't even known about BDSM, kink, D/s, M/s, or anything of any relation with any of it. We grew into it together, but the love, trust, and devotion to each other came before our first toys were ever bought.



sofldan -> RE: love? (11/2/2010 3:32:57 PM)

Wow I would hope for all that is good in the world that you can love your sub/slave. You have to have a firm hand but you can still love and treat them like bi-pedal humans, just because they are a sub/slave doesn't mean you cant love him/her/whatever like your wife/husband/life partner.



sunshinemiss -> RE: love? (11/2/2010 3:38:39 PM)

Did you not see the WHOLE THREAD dedicated to this topic, actually in progress? 
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3441995/tm.htm

It's like walking into a book club meeting where the people are in heated discussion about the symoblism of oranges in The Godfather by Mario Puzo - and asking, "So has anyone read the Godfather"?

best,
sunshine



DaddyDomP -> RE: love? (11/2/2010 4:07:45 PM)

Can you be a good Dominant and NOT love your sub? I am talking about YOUR sub not a sub. I know there are times in ones life you might be training another sub or doing a scene that no, love isn't there and your instincts take over but if you are in a relationship and desire to have a sub, you will be much better if you do care. Just My opinion.



WolfyMontgomery -> RE: love? (11/2/2010 5:46:48 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
It's like walking into a book club meeting where the people are in heated discussion about the symoblism of oranges in The Godfather by Mario Puzo - and asking, "So has anyone read the Godfather"?


Ehehehehe! I love you sunshine! You just made my day.

Are there oranges in the Godfather? o_O



agirl -> RE: love? (11/2/2010 6:09:18 PM)

M stays in control BECAUSE he cares for me. But then we never really did the *in love* thing. 

agirl



sweetsub1957 -> RE: love? (11/2/2010 8:25:55 PM)

~FR~
Daddy loves me and I love Him. He is still in control. If He didn't love me, I just .....wouldn't be with Him. Period.

~sweetsub~



RavenMuse -> RE: love? (11/3/2010 12:58:33 AM)

If I didn't care why would I even want to control her, she would mean nothing to Me, meaningless, worthless, uninteresting.... With what I am it is BECAUSE I care that I control, it is how My care finds expression.



phoenixmoonn13 -> RE: love? (11/3/2010 2:31:28 AM)

when we met even before we had a relationship we had a very strong connection we became a M/s couple very quickly and he loves me as a lover and his slave and his dominance is strong and his love does not weaken it at all if anything it makes it stronger.



BurntKitty -> RE: love? (11/3/2010 9:36:50 AM)

Absolutely, at least in my case.  I would never care to be in a relationship where I didn't feel my love wasn't reciprocated.  



Musicmystery -> RE: love? (11/3/2010 9:59:01 AM)

"Think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course."

--Khalil Gibran



intrigueme3 -> RE: love? (11/3/2010 12:58:25 PM)

i hope so.... its what i search for... the whole package..
kx



crazyml -> RE: love? (11/3/2010 1:22:13 PM)

Absolutely!

On a related note - Has anyone read "Godfather"?



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