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love? - 11/2/2010 11:54:43 AM   
hornsnahalo001


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/20/2010
Status: offline 		As a master, can you be in love with your slave/sub? To me this doesn't seem weak its about being happy but i was curious.Thanks!
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RE: love? - 11/2/2010 11:58:11 AM   
switch2please


Posts: 494
Joined: 12/5/2008
Status: offline 		Of course you can. You're both still people, right? You share physicality and intimacy? For some it's a natural step.

(in reply to hornsnahalo001)
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RE: love? - 11/2/2010 12:11:07 PM   
Jaybeee


Posts: 532
Joined: 2/2/2010
Status: offline 		As I discovered in my thread, you can LOVE her as you would a wife, but you still need to maintain a firmer hand on her than most husbands do. Best analogy was the parent-child dynamic, just because the parent may have to spank the child one day, doesn't mean he won't take the kid out for ice-cream later that day.

Being IN love is very tricky - it's the only time when the rules go out the window AND, if she is equally besotted, you can get away with letting her get away with insubordination. You must not let the indiscipline last, however, as soon as the initial lovestruck rush wears off, reassert.

(in reply to switch2please)
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RE: love? - 11/2/2010 12:49:12 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Just like not all parents punish their children, not all dominants punish their subs. Just as some horse trainers beat the horses until it cowers with fear and does what it's been taught, others teach the horse that the trainer is someone to trust, to partner with.

And some of us don't need our dominants to always be worrying if they've 'allowed' insubordination, some of us prefer a dominant who inspires our submission.

You can have a relationship without love but I think it's far better with.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to Jaybeee)
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RE: love? - 11/2/2010 12:53:28 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Love your sub?


2 words

HELL YES

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: love? - 11/2/2010 1:53:25 PM   
Nineveh


Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline 		Absolutely.

In my opinion if Love destroys your dominance you are not as dominant as you thought.  I express love with control and dominance, and I don't dominate purely out of selfishness, I do because it fulfils her and I do my best to build her up rather than break her down.  Yes, I am a sadist, and i will hurt someone that I love, if she is a masochist then she'll enjoy it as well, if she is not and simply submits to pain out of her desire to please than I am allowing her to please me in a way that is a sacrifice for her, neither of those are incompatible with love.  Love is not weakness, love is not submission although a submissive will express it that way, love is simply love.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
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RE: love? - 11/2/2010 2:13:42 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hornsnahalo001

As a master, can you be in love with your slave/sub? To me this doesn't seem weak its about being happy but i was curious.Thanks!


Whoa, I'd hope so...!

Despite the impression the strutting hardcore can give, not all of us in the lifestyle are looking for "meat" to fuck, flog and discard at our abusive, irresponsible whim.

I do it "backwards".... I initially seek out "submissive" but if the one I find isn't someone I can like as a person and form emotional connection with, the rules, ropes and floggers etc are irrelevant until I find someone I can form attachment to.

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to hornsnahalo001)
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RE: love? - 11/2/2010 2:46:47 PM   
WolfyMontgomery


Posts: 234
Joined: 9/28/2010
Status: offline 		What Focus said =D

Though Master and I don't really think of it as "backwards"... I like to call it the "scenic route".

Then again, we're a not your average M/s couple either - since we met in a totally vanilla setting and I hadn't even known about BDSM, kink, D/s, M/s, or anything of any relation with any of it. We grew into it together, but the love, trust, and devotion to each other came before our first toys were ever bought.


_____________________________

~Eleven

-A Wolf of a Different Color

Fear me and my Gleaming Metal Chompers of DOOM!
..........that means my braces. >_>

(in reply to Focus50)
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RE: love? - 11/2/2010 3:32:57 PM   
sofldan


Posts: 150
Joined: 11/15/2008
Status: offline 		Wow I would hope for all that is good in the world that you can love your sub/slave. You have to have a firm hand but you can still love and treat them like bi-pedal humans, just because they are a sub/slave doesn't mean you cant love him/her/whatever like your wife/husband/life partner.


_____________________________

Remember the fallen who gave all for our freedom. US Army veteran.

Hey lemme tie you up, all the cool kids are doing it!

(in reply to WolfyMontgomery)
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RE: love? - 11/2/2010 3:38:39 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Did you not see the WHOLE THREAD dedicated to this topic, actually in progress? 
http://www.collarchat.com/m_3441995/tm.htm

It's like walking into a book club meeting where the people are in heated discussion about the symoblism of oranges in The Godfather by Mario Puzo - and asking, "So has anyone read the Godfather"?

best,
sunshine


< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 11/2/2010 3:49:56 PM >

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to sofldan)
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RE: love? - 11/2/2010 4:07:45 PM   
DaddyDomP


Posts: 17
Joined: 6/15/2009
Status: offline 		Can you be a good Dominant and NOT love your sub? I am talking about YOUR sub not a sub. I know there are times in ones life you might be training another sub or doing a scene that no, love isn't there and your instincts take over but if you are in a relationship and desire to have a sub, you will be much better if you do care. Just My opinion.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
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RE: love? - 11/2/2010 5:46:48 PM   
WolfyMontgomery


Posts: 234
Joined: 9/28/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
It's like walking into a book club meeting where the people are in heated discussion about the symoblism of oranges in The Godfather by Mario Puzo - and asking, "So has anyone read the Godfather"?


Ehehehehe! I love you sunshine! You just made my day.

Are there oranges in the Godfather? o_O

_____________________________

~Eleven

-A Wolf of a Different Color

Fear me and my Gleaming Metal Chompers of DOOM!
..........that means my braces. >_>

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: love? - 11/2/2010 6:09:18 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		M stays in control BECAUSE he cares for me. But then we never really did the *in love* thing. 

agirl

(in reply to hornsnahalo001)
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RE: love? - 11/2/2010 8:25:55 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		~FR~
Daddy loves me and I love Him. He is still in control. If He didn't love me, I just .....wouldn't be with Him. Period.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: love? - 11/3/2010 12:58:33 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		If I didn't care why would I even want to control her, she would mean nothing to Me, meaningless, worthless, uninteresting.... With what I am it is BECAUSE I care that I control, it is how My care finds expression.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
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RE: love? - 11/3/2010 2:31:28 AM   
phoenixmoonn13


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline 		when we met even before we had a relationship we had a very strong connection we became a M/s couple very quickly and he loves me as a lover and his slave and his dominance is strong and his love does not weaken it at all if anything it makes it stronger.

(in reply to RavenMuse)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: love? - 11/3/2010 9:36:50 AM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline 		Absolutely, at least in my case.  I would never care to be in a relationship where I didn't feel my love wasn't reciprocated.  

_____________________________

Cat Quotes

Count Boogie's Foot Fetish Anti Creepy Training video


(in reply to phoenixmoonn13)
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RE: love? - 11/3/2010 9:59:01 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline 		"Think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course."

--Khalil Gibran

(in reply to BurntKitty)
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RE: love? - 11/3/2010 12:58:25 PM   
intrigueme3


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/2/2010
Status: offline 		i hope so.... its what i search for... the whole package..
kx

(in reply to Musicmystery)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: love? - 11/3/2010 1:22:13 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Absolutely!

On a related note - Has anyone read "Godfather"?

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to hornsnahalo001)
Profile   Post #: 20
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