RE: Knowing when ur finally ready???

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RE: Knowing when ur finally ready??? - 11/7/2010 5:40:00 PM

angelikaJ

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Joined: 6/22/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BbcSlutKc

I know that we have to choose and make up our own minds of when we are finally ready to submit to a Dom for the first time, but r the certain signs that let me know for sure i am?I am very very very close to it but i am still so very nervous about it. The butterflies in my tummy almost make me sick the closer the day comes. I dont want to make a mistake and choose a wrong man and then jump from Dom to Dom looking for the right one. Is it even possible to find the right one the first time? Anyone had any luck with that? Is being this nervous normal?? Thanks yall!!!

I can't answer for you.

I am wondering if you have met this person, in person.

When one is new there are a lot of things that we are sometimes told we are supposed to expect, or supposed to do, or even supposed to feel.
You are you.
If someone wants you to do something that feels wrong to you but then puts pressure on you saying a real sub(missive woman) would do this, then that person isn't for you.

I did not pick the right one the first time, but I wasn't looking for The One at first.
I found a good man who was safe and who introduced me a little to some things and then for awhile I got very lost and turned around.

When I wasn't looking He found me.

Nothing was rushed.

With the right person, nothing has to be rushed because there will be plenty of time... and taking the time to get to know someone is worth it.

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RE: Knowing when ur finally ready??? - 11/7/2010 5:51:21 PM

NuevaVida

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For me, submission was a process. I didn't jump in and submit to him 100% out of the starting gate. We took a lot of time getting to know each other, and very gradually I began to give over to him. It was a slow process. There is no set time frame in which to be "ready." You will know when you are. Also, don't project too much about how it's going to be, just take each day at a time and get to know each other. Don't read between the lines and see what isn't really there, either. If you're not sure about something, ask. If you need time, say so. If someone doesn't want to wait, he doesn't want to wait. This is not a reason to rush into something that might not be comfortable to you.

I suspect the reason many relationships don't work out is because they didn't take the time to really get to know each other beforehand, and to know what they wanted, or what would work best for them. Time is on your side here. Nothing wrong with going out, talking, etc., just know yourself going into it, and know who you're submitting to. And enjoy yourself!

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RE: Knowing when ur finally ready??? - 11/7/2010 5:59:26 PM

HisManegirl

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Joined: 11/5/2010
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I am totally new to this lifestyle, but I can't imagine submitting to anyone until I really know the person. My Dom and I have known each other for over 10 years. I know I can trust Him totally to take care of me in all situations. If I were to be in a situation where I was looking for a Dom, I would use precaution and definitely make sure I would check references and have a safe person. I think for me knowing my Dom & trusting Him is what makes me want to submit to him. The intense connection BDSM brings to the relationship just makes it better.

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RE: Knowing when ur finally ready??? - 11/8/2010 11:13:54 AM

thatsub

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Joined: 5/3/2010
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Initially you still have to break that barrier in your mind that was set by society and accept the act of submission yourself. You also have to be honest with yourself about what you want. Is it just occasional kinky play that you want, or is it just a lots of rough sex, or is it the dynamic of D/s relationship that you seek?

If you don't feel that you can submit now to your Dom, why do you think it will change later? If you force yourself to submit, you are cheating yourself out of a good experience. Let it come naturally. Learn more, meet more (real) people, and go to some local events and munchies.

< Message edited by thatsub -- 11/8/2010 11:14:15 AM >

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RE: Knowing when ur finally ready??? - 11/8/2010 3:25:06 PM

BbcSlutKc

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Im almost positive i made the right decision now, but only time will tell. thanks for the info everyone!

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Post #: 25