Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Submissives -- really?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Submissives -- really? Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 4:57:11 AM   
fredllfixit


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/3/2009
Status: offline 		I read with a little amusement the writings of some submissives, both here and elesewhere. The number of conditions, the demands and the number of times the word "must" is used about a potential master. To a genuine submissive, these words, specifications and the concepts behind them shouldn't really exist in the makeup of a submissive at all. The gen. sub. really wants to please and doesn't make conditions. He does as he's told and likes it that way. He even seeks out what a Master might want, and of course has learned what Master wants when Master has adopted him. He is a "dog" in the wider, generic sense of the word and it's exactly what he wants -- to fit in. Under the "boss-dog".
Masters don't escape citicism either. Just because you're the Master is no excuse for rudeness or bad manners. Servants can't answer back, but instead get their own back -- later, when Master least expects it. The Master has a duty to keep his slaves in good condition, simply because a Master is judged from his inferiors and their condition. It's a lifetime obligation.
You think this is old fashioned, even victorian? It most certainly is -- and what's wrong with that?  Nothing.

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 5:06:08 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fredllfixit

To a genuine submissive, these words, specifications and the concepts behind them shouldn't really exist in the makeup of a submissive at all.



According to whom?

(in reply to fredllfixit)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 5:11:33 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		"a genuine submissive".... hate to break the news to you, but a submissive is entitled to all those things you mentioned. what you describe is a slave who has been mastered.

There is a difference. Many miss that difference, sadly.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to fredllfixit)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 5:12:28 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fredllfixit

To a genuine submissive, these words, specifications and the concepts behind them shouldn't really exist in the makeup of a submissive at all. The gen. sub. really wants to please and doesn't make conditions.

Fail.

I want the submissive people I interact with to be with me because I'm perfect for them and they are perfect for me, not out of some generic 'submissiveness' to anybody and everybody.

Nobody should settle for less than they want. If I'm attracted to someone and they are attracted to me, does it matter how many boxes there are on their internal checklist? If I happen to tick them all then that's the only important thing.


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to fredllfixit)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 5:13:12 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline
quote:

I read with a little amusement the writings of some submissives, both here and elesewhere.


Yea, I laugh my ass off at some of the crap the doms on here come up with also.  Especially when they start going on about "true" or "genuine" submissives. People can be so funny sometimes.


_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert


This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi


(in reply to fredllfixit)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 5:28:24 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		Cool story, bro!

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to fredllfixit)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 5:42:26 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		So, in one breath you complain about folks who have "musts" in regard to what they are searching for and in the next you say that it's a Master's duty to keep his slaves in good condition.  Somehow, that seems more hypocritical than Victorian.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 5:45:38 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

Of course, the real irony here is that a Victorian servant served for a reason. Money, lodging, etc. They didn't do it for free and they didn't do it for less than they were worth if they could avoid it at all. So they had "musts", the thing that the OP is complaining about.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/8/2010 5:46:37 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 5:53:53 AM   
antinomy


Posts: 124
Joined: 3/7/2008
Status: offline 		"...and of course has learned what Master wants when Master has adopted him. "

You almost got it...really. Once this happens, a power exchange exists. UNTIL it exists, and until it's been defined by the people involved in it, the rest of what you said is moot. A submissive has full authority over what they do, what they want, and what they are seeking in a partner. If you don't like what a submissive "must have" according to their profile, you and he are not compatible. Does not make him any less submissive, and while you may find such things amusing, it tends to say a bit more about you than about the subs whose profiles you are looking at.

_____________________________

Who says size does not matter? Seeking a Dom with a very endowed lateral frontal cortex ...

We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are. Anais Nin

(in reply to fredllfixit)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 5:54:35 AM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		I agree with the others about there not being any conditions expected by the sub so I won't go there.

As far as the boundaries and must haves and must not haves in profiles, well, I feel they are just looking for someone close to their same level and that is their way of conveying it. If I read one like that and it just keeps on and on on those same lines, I just move on. I like a little flexibility to a point.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 5:59:00 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		 I can be submissive.. I can be a TWUE submissive.. to someone who inspires me to be such.  Anyone else? you get the brassy, smartass side of me. The side of me that will mock, laugh and walk away.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to thishereboi)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 6:03:10 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fredllfixit
You think this is old fashioned, even victorian? It most certainly is -- and what's wrong with that?  Nothing.



Have you read anything from Mrs. Beeton's Book of Household Management concerning domestic servants... http://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/b/beeton/isabella/household/index.html

Taken from Chapter 41 titled "Domestic Servants";

quote:


The sensible master and the kind mistress know, that if servants depend on them for their means of living, in their turn they are dependent on their servants for very many of the comforts of life; and that, with a proper amount of care in choosing servants, and treating them like reasonable beings, and making slight excuses for the shortcomings of human nature, they will, save in some exceptional case, be tolerably well served, and, in most instances, surround themselves with attached domestics.


Yes, this is in reference to servants during Victorian times, but as AquaticSub pointed out, it was a job. Ironically, even at that time, if you read the opening paragraphs of the chapter, you see there were those of "society" who like to complain about the death of 'genuine' servants. Expectations are a funny thing,on both sides, no?

(in reply to fredllfixit)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 6:09:40 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I have come to accept that there are numerous people in this world whose views do not agree with mine.  If it floats their boat, I don't criticize them for being different.

Simply misdirected. 


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 6:28:44 AM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline 		I tend to agree with the OP on the grounds that such profiles are less effective. Not that it's bad to state your needs, but it's just bad profile writing. Exclusive & non-inclusive writing tends to exclude all but the dudes who don't give a shit anyway, you feel me?

But hey, whatever. There's enough one-way traffic going on here that even a smelly outhouse gets people shitting in it. So who cares if they do a less than optimal job with keeping their profiles attractive? The girls writing these excreta certainly don't.


_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 6:35:43 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		If I know what works for me, as a submissive... WHY in gods name would I pretend otherwise?A list of wants / needs describes what WORKS. 


_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 6:39:18 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

I tend to agree with the OP on the grounds that such profiles are less effective. Not that it's bad to state your needs, but it's just bad profile writing. Exclusive & non-inclusive writing tends to exclude all but the dudes who don't give a shit anyway, you feel me?

But hey, whatever. There's enough one-way traffic going on here that even a smelly outhouse gets people shitting in it. So who cares if they do a less than optimal job with keeping their profiles attractive? The girls writing these excreta certainly don't.


I don't know if I particularly agree.  Just personal opinion, of course, but if a person is using a profile to outline what they are looking for and give some kind of impression for what would make them compatible (or incompatible, as the case may be) with others.  We have to remember that there is somewhat of a scale.  Not everyone is into this for the same type of dynamic.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 6:43:41 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

I tend to agree with the OP on the grounds that such profiles are less effective. Not that it's bad to state your needs, but it's just bad profile writing. Exclusive & non-inclusive writing tends to exclude all but the dudes who don't give a shit anyway, you feel me?

But hey, whatever. There's enough one-way traffic going on here that even a smelly outhouse gets people shitting in it. So who cares if they do a less than optimal job with keeping their profiles attractive? The girls writing these excreta certainly don't.



Bad profile-writing subs = shitty outhouses?

_____________________________



My fave Thread: http://www.collarchat.com/m_2626198/mpage_1/tm.htm

One time "Phallus Expert Extraordinaire"

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 6:51:20 AM   
DMFParadox


Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

I tend to agree with the OP on the grounds that such profiles are less effective. Not that it's bad to state your needs, but it's just bad profile writing. Exclusive & non-inclusive writing tends to exclude all but the dudes who don't give a shit anyway, you feel me?

But hey, whatever. There's enough one-way traffic going on here that even a smelly outhouse gets people shitting in it. So who cares if they do a less than optimal job with keeping their profiles attractive? The girls writing these excreta certainly don't.


I don't know if I particularly agree.  Just personal opinion, of course, but if a person is using a profile to outline what they are looking for and give some kind of impression for what would make them compatible (or incompatible, as the case may be) with others.  We have to remember that there is somewhat of a scale.  Not everyone is into this for the same type of dynamic.



Yeah, true enough. Everytime I see a profile that bugs me, I have to remember "somebody out there is probably buying what they're selling..."

I look at it from the perspective of online marketing, I guess. Catch the part of the bell curve that rings, not the end bits, you know? and sort out the white-starchy-bad-for-you stuff from the inedible grassy stuff at that point. Not before you've even separated the wheat from the ground.

It bothers me more than it should, because it seems like such a wasted opportunity. I tend to look at online dating as a zero-sum game for 80% of the men that come to it (actually, the number's around 1-in-9--there's a statistic for that lying around somewhere in $200-per-issue psychology peer-review journals I haven't bothered buying) but the women just seem to shoot themselves by vibing off the wrong impressions at the wrong times in the wrong ways. Makes me want to go "But dammit, just do it this way..."

But then, for many of those women it's the guys that stand out by navigating the firestorm crapola that are desirable, so... meh. Frankly, I still think most of these ladies are just being self-defeating, not effectively filtering.

Edit: due to death by pronoun in that last paragraph

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 11/8/2010 6:56:40 AM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 6:58:47 AM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fredllfixit

To a genuine submissive, these words, specifications and the concepts behind them shouldn't really exist in the makeup of a submissive at all. The gen. sub. really wants to please and doesn't make conditions. He does as he's told and likes it that way.
...
Masters don't escape citicism either. Just because you're the Master is no excuse for rudeness or bad manners. Servants can't answer back, but instead get their own back -- later, when Master least expects it. The Master has a duty to keep his slaves in good condition, simply because a Master is judged from his inferiors and their condition. It's a lifetime obligation.

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

~stef


_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to fredllfixit)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Submissives -- really? - 11/8/2010 7:00:43 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

I look at it from the perspective of online marketing, I guess. Catch the part of the bell curve that rings, not the end bits, you know? and sort out the white-starchy-bad-for-you stuff from the inedible grassy stuff at that point. Not before you've even separated the wheat from the ground.



I used to do resume writing, and the best resumes were those that were targeted, stated exactly what the applicant wanted and was good for. The rest got lost in a dull drone.  I assume that profiles are similar - know what you want and state it, and don't mess with the incompatibles.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Submissives -- really? Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109