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RE: Un-Dommely? - 4/27/2006 11:44:53 PM   
SweetPosession


Posts: 87
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline 		Honey, it's your scene. Do what you want and make sure your sub knows why it is he's fucking you. Make him (or her) earn it. Make it a game. Do whatever you want to do--but own it. There are people who say that a Dom can't give head or be on the recieving end of a penis. It's not gospel though. It's your orgasm, sweetie. Play your way.

(in reply to MistressMisaki)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Un-Dommely? - 4/28/2006 3:33:18 AM   
mons


Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline 		greetings to all

I do not think that is a problem, it is a pleasure you enjoy
your submissive should gave you what want. There is ways to
make it more dominant for you, to have him do this find ways to
turn it into what you want. best wishes

mons/jane

(in reply to MistressMisaki)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Un-Dommely? - 4/28/2006 4:38:04 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Being a *Domme* is whatever you want it to be. If you enjoy anal go for it, if you enjoy switching then do it. Your the one in charge and you can do whatever you wish. Dont let others tell you how to be a Domme, if you do then your not the one in charge and that IS what its all about.

~Lashra

(in reply to MistressMisaki)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Un-Dommely? - 4/28/2006 6:31:46 AM   
ladiespet77


Posts: 30
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline 		i agree with ServiceNTuson..Perhaps You need to exlore more before slapping a label on yourself.
From my point of view i must say...I lose my perspective with a FemDom when i am asked to do something that i Precieve to be her acting like the bottom. I find it diffacult to have the same respect for her as a Dom. Indeed i have run across a closet switch or two in my day and for me that will Never work. Personally i want to Always see my Mistress as the one in control and i am sorry , if i see her or am asked to give Her anul. I precieve that to be something a Bottom/sub would do

(in reply to unpantsed)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Un-Dommely? - 4/28/2006 10:41:05 AM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ladiespet77

i agree with ServiceNTuson..Perhaps You need to exlore more before slapping a label on yourself.
From my point of view i must say...I lose my perspective with a FemDom when i am asked to do something that i Precieve to be her acting like the bottom. I find it diffacult to have the same respect for her as a Dom. Indeed i have run across a closet switch or two in my day and for me that will Never work. Personally i want to Always see my Mistress as the one in control and i am sorry , if i see her or am asked to give Her anul. I precieve that to be something a Bottom/sub would do


**Raises eyebrows**
Really?
Why is the Domina not in control if she enjoys and commands anal sex as part and parcel of your service to her?
I am curious, also, as to what other acts you consider more bottom-like which would cause you to lose respect for the Domina?

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to ladiespet77)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Un-Dommely? - 4/28/2006 11:23:14 AM   
ladiespet77


Posts: 30
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline 		  Goddess Dusty, The only thing i can say about it is  this. It just blurs my preception for whatever resion. It just does.When i am giving anul I am the one in control  .I am the one Now doing her. Listen it is fine with me however people want to define thier roles.It just doesnt work for me.
Strangley, for me, this does not pertain to "regular" sex. During intercourse there can be allot More varied and differant types of dynamics involved that do Not blur the lines in the same way.  Same goes for oral.
Again understand, it is Just my perception.

As for any other specific acts that i may consider bottom like.I do Not have a list.Safe to say though i know them when and if i see them. It is Just something that happens inside and a feeling that i get that turns me my submission Right off.
For sure though One would be her  deffereing power or desions to another person in Any way shape or form
Again though i dont have a list. Interesting though isnt it, how we All see the  same situation.Then apply them to our own individual  dynamics of what we consider FemDom to be.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Un-Dommely? - 4/28/2006 1:06:17 PM   
alex311


Posts: 16
Joined: 3/12/2006
Status: offline 		Don't worry about it.  Your sub/slave is there for your amusement and your pleasure, and if you like receiving something, he should provide it.  Of course, I'd expect it to be entirely on your terms, to your specifications, etc.  If you're worried about it 'spoiling' him, you've got plenty of options to make it less pleasurable for him.  Make him triple-wrap with condoms to dull the sensation, make him use a strap-on, make him acknowledge how much of a rare privilege it is to be allowed to be inside you.  Afterwards let him handle the clean-up.  Grade his performance and tell him how he can improve.  He'll know you're in control and that's all that matters.

(in reply to ladiespet77)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Un-Dommely? - 4/28/2006 1:10:49 PM   
ladiespet77


Posts: 30
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline 		lol.......Mayby i was wrong   ...    good post alex

(in reply to alex311)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Un-Dommely? - 4/28/2006 5:08:01 PM   
unpantsed


Posts: 13
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline 		Lol! Life is about enjoying yourself, not defining yourself! Who needs to slap on the perfect label when you can put a slap on the perfect butt?

People are perfect only for each other, not for all others. Imho, if it comes down to a choice between violating a definition and violating yourself--violate the definition.

(in reply to ladiespet77)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Un-Dommely? - 4/28/2006 6:26:54 PM   
Alacrity


Posts: 40
Joined: 5/14/2005
Status: offline 		The only reason I can see it being a problem is if your sub thinks that it is un-dommely. If this is the case perhaps you've got the wrong sub, or more training is in order.

There's no official list of Dommely activites. Do what you enjoy.

However, if you decide you want to switch give me a call....


(in reply to MistressMisaki)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Un-Dommely? - 4/28/2006 6:28:11 PM   
Aimtoplease101


Posts: 319
Joined: 2/8/2006
From: San Diego, California
Status: offline 		I think Alex is on the right track here.  I can understand why the OP asked the question.  If the situation isn't controlled, a sub could certainly start to feel like he was in control while delivering it to his lady from behind.  I think one of the reasons that strap-on play is popular with many dominant women is that it feels empowering-- and conquering-- to "take" someone that way.

There have been lots of good suggestions regarding how to change the dynamic of this act in order to keep the D/s relationship in the correct focus.  But requiring the sub to perform clean up services, as Alex suggests, may very well take the cake, so to speak.  Anal worship is one of those acts that feels naturally submissive, and adding to that the task of licking/ sucking your own jism out of a lady's bottom .... well let's just say that sub won't have any illusions about being the dominant partner after that.

Regards, ATP

_____________________________

Pleasing you pleases me.

(in reply to alex311)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Un-Dommely? - 4/29/2006 3:08:43 PM   
MistressMisaki


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/27/2006
Status: offline 		Wow, thanks for all the great ideas and insights! This truly is a wonderful community. Cheers!

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Un-Dommely? - 4/29/2006 3:54:45 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		I label as Switch just for my personal honesty in advertising. To my boysI am 100% Domme. Personally I don't switch within a relationship. I had one Dom and so for honesty I disclose that.  and I don't allow anyone especially my sub to think that anyone but me is in charge of our relationship. If we do anything of a sexual nature I'm clear that it's for my pleasure. One way that I reinforce this is that if I've been especially pleasured in some way I don't allow them an orgasm either at all or until later. I've come to realize that simultaneous orgasm or orgasm of the boys choice leads to those dreaded male feelings of superiority...man I'm good in bed and she knows it. ICK

I like the idea of a leash. Something like a mantra of May I please you mistress instead of the normal pleasure focus might be useful at keeping his mind on task.Controlling his orgasm should also keep him focused.

Ritual and training are very useful at keeping them "on task".

(in reply to unpantsed)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Un-Dommely? - 4/30/2006 8:48:07 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail
Look at it this way, if he said he didn't like doing it would you give a fuck?  It's your asshole and he is servicing it...........end of joke.

Ron


<falls on floor, laughing!

ronnie pup, you are sewwwwwwwwwww baaaaad! ; )

TM

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Un-Dommely? - 5/1/2006 3:09:51 AM   
LoneGoddess


Posts: 73
Joined: 1/1/2005
From: Moscow, Idaho
Status: offline 		I'll say this only once... you are the Domme. You decide what is Dommely and unDommely.  No one else. Activities are activities, they don't have an orientation.

LG~

_____________________________

~*~
"Unless it's mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it's a waste of your time.
There are too many mediocre things in life, love shouldn't be one of them."~DfaI

(in reply to unpantsed)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Un-Dommely? - 5/1/2006 9:33:44 AM   
FLsubmalecd


Posts: 143
Status: offline 		Very interesting thread. As a sub, if my Mistress wanted me to tie her up, spank her or do anything that would otherwise seem like something done to a sub, I'd be glad to do it for her and not even think of it as anythign but giving her what she wants. I mean if sh ordered me to flog her, I would just knowing I'm doing what she has directed, ordered or otherwise wanted me to do FOR her. Not to her. It stll would be her that is in charge and would be respected as my Domme. It's more of  a mind set as to who is in charge so to speak. Not the act itself  I'm not saying I'd enjoy any of those things. But if it made her happy and leased her, that is what would be important to me. now all I have to do is find her. sigh..........  

_____________________________

"Don't make someone a priority in your life, When you're only an option in theirs"

(in reply to LoneGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Un-Dommely? - 5/1/2006 10:55:11 AM   
ServiceNTucson


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FLsubmalecd

Very interesting thread. As a sub, if my Mistress wanted me to tie her up, spank her or do anything that would otherwise seem like something done to a sub, I'd be glad to do it for her and not even think of it as anythign but giving her what she wants. I mean if sh ordered me to flog her, I would just knowing I'm doing what she has directed, ordered or otherwise wanted me to do FOR her. Not to her. It stll would be her that is in charge and would be respected as my Domme. It's more of  a mind set as to who is in charge so to speak. Not the act itself  I'm not saying I'd enjoy any of those things. But if it made her happy and leased her, that is what would be important to me. now all I have to do is find her. sigh..........  


For the most part, I would agree with this.  My only disagreement (speaking only for myself, YMMV) is with the second to last sentence "I'm not saying I'd enjoy any of those things."
 
I would enjoy it, because I enjoy topping.  But, I enjoy topping because I enjoy serving.  This does not, by any means, make me dominant.  When I top I like the same thing I like when submitting, doing what she likes, what gives her pleasure.
 
I see no contradiction whatsoever to a slave topping his Owner for her pleasure.  She's still the one in charge.  Everything is still done according to her desires and her limits.
 
Does deriving pleasure from topping occasionally make a submissive unsubmissive?  I don't think so.  Does deriving pleasure from bottoming make a dominant undomly?  I don't think so either.
 
It takes a lot of trust to bottom, particularly for a woman to bottom to a man.  If my owner (if I had one) told me to top her, I would not take it as a sign that she's undomly or unworthy of owning me.  I'd take it as a sign that she trusts me.

_____________________________

Harry

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

Groucho Marx


www.desertdominion.org

(in reply to FLsubmalecd)
Profile   Post #: 37
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