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LadyNTrainer -> RE: Profile Help: How to Attract a Dominant Woman (updated) (11/9/2010 1:32:08 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: submissivemale22
i actually tried fetlife.... similarly unspectacular results were achieved.
That's because FL doesn't have an A/S/L search. Thank goodness; it's the reason I keep my social profile there exclusively. In order for Fetlife to work for you to find people, you actually have to be involved in your local groups, ideally in realtime, to develop a solid social network. But trust me on this, there really are a shitload of femdoms in your area. They're just hiding from all the impatient guys who mail them dick pictures and rude proposals instead of taking the time to get to know them at local events and through groups of common interest. Take that time, and you will find them.
On Fetlife, I cannot be found by the asshole who never shows up to a realtime meeting with anyone but happily sends crude propositions to every woman within 100 miles of him. That makes me a lot more comfortable being myself and meeting people socially on Fetlife. I can only be found there by people who either know me in real life or are active in the same local groups I am, so that's like an automatic asshole filter. I get almost no crude propositions on that site at all, maybe one or two a year. On Collarme I get almost nothing else, so my profile here is strictly professional.
Maybe this isn't "fair", but it's natural selection. When women make themselves too readily available by age, sex and location to a thirty-second site search, we get fucking bombarded with endless rude, nasty shit, frequently from guys who never have any intention of meeting anyone in real life. So the serious lifestylers prefer sites where it's not that easy for guys to find us and bother us for no better reason than their dick is hard. The guys have to be at least to some extent in the lifestyle also before they can even find us, and it's a very good filter.
Your area has a comparable or larger scene than mine. My Fetlife friends list is over 200, split about evenly by gender with the majority of the women on it being other femdoms, and I've met 99% of them in real life. Most of my well networked friends on that list also have lists in the three digits; mine is only average. It takes a little time and getting to know people to get well enough networked to be able to instantly point to more than 50 femdoms in the local scene on Fetlife, but if you put in the social networking time, you can definitely do it. If you don't, then you can't. Because Fetlife is cool that way, and it doesn't let strange guys randomly harass us. Yay Fetlife.
CollarMe serves a totally different purpose and has a totally different atmosphere for women on the site, and you're going to see women doing very different things on it for that reason. Like, mostly hiding over on Fetlife because they're sick of being bombarded by random do-me emails from strangers. We're hiding for a reason, but we can be very easily be found by people who actually join their local kink community.
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