IsaNova
Posts: 23
Joined: 9/28/2010
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Be mindful in all things of this: what would please thy Lady best. This was definitely my downfall when I was thrust into a live-in situation... just the actions of day-to-day living and difficulties thereof led me to forget that prime directive.
If you are doing something, whether it is specifically to please her, a household chore, or even something done for your own sake, consider how to do it in a fashion that best makes her happy.
Taking notes is good, I would go so far as to keep small parcels of pen and paper around the house so-that when you learn something, particularly the minutia, you have the chance to write it down quickly - and later copy it into a master journal.
The other big piece of advice I would give is to communicate. Communicate communicate communicate. If there is something you don't understand, something you want to ask, something you are confused on... request her counsel in the matter. If she is busy or otherwise preoccupied, take note of it and ask her if you can address something with her later on. Do NOT make the mistake of presuming to know when not to bother her. Sometimes it is obvious... such as if she is with children or guests, but if she seems preoccupied, frustrated, etc... do not make the flaw of not-asking because she does not seem in the mood. If she is not in the mood to discuss it or answer a question, she will tell you. Simple as that.
I would consider talking to her about some way to communicate between both of you that can handle the harder things. One good idea I heard of was to keep a notebook, one wherein both of you can write your difficult feelings, things you may be afraid to say to her, things that are frustrating you - so as not to let them bottle up and fester. A notebook you can write something and leave on her bed, and that she can write in and then leave on your bed, is to me an ingenious idea. Having such a journal kept in one prominent spot, a home for it so to speak where either of you can access it at anytime, is a good idea. Pick it up, write what you need, leave on her bed. She'll read it, write a response or an acknowledgment, and place it back in it's spot... and vice versa. If there are kids and the like mayhaps a locking journal would be a good idea, but keeping it where it is accessible rather than forgotten/difficult to get to is key, in my humble opinion.
Be careful though. My last Mistress (whom I heard the idea from) and I tried to do the same in the form of an online journal/blog. It did not work out. I wrote in it when I was troubled and feeling hardship... but she only read it intermittently. It had the effect over time of being a place for me to rant and rave... particularly as I felt my words were not being read or noticed... and rather than being a place for frustrations to be laid to rest it became a place frustration festered and anger/annoyance on her part grew. If we had done so in a journal there would have been communication, and it might have solved the problems that lead to us separating rather harshly. I would further suggest that, when you set up/discuss such a journal with her, you both make the commitment to write a response, or at least a small acknowledgment, of what the other has written. This way neither party feels ignored, and you both know that what you wrote has been addressed... even if you or her do not have the wherewithal or desire to exactly respond at that time.
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