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RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/11/2010 2:08:34 AM   
BonesFromAsh


Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline 		Hello mons, I responded to you via email so as to not hijack this thread.

(in reply to mons)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/11/2010 2:21:56 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		Sorry Steven but I am another that will add my dissent

I am very assertive in most areas of my life and like to research and be prepared, especially when it comes to my health.  I am sure I frustrate my doctors as I at times seem to know more than they do about the various medications they want me to try, side effects etc.  I like to believe that my specialist was smiling when he told me on the phone earlier this week that I must be every doctor's nightmare

I think taking control and managing one's health or any aspect of our life is neither a dominant nor submissive thing, it is a person thing.


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RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/11/2010 4:34:29 AM   
fellowtraveler


Posts: 26
Joined: 3/11/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I was diagnosed with diabetes a bit over a year ago. I read up, spoke with other diabetics and doctors, etc. Basically, I assumed control of the situation and reduced my doctor to the role of questionnee and regular a1c tester. I spoke to a local Master a week ago who has serious spinal injuries and yet works out on his job from two to eight hours every day. He was advised to undergo operations, etc., and has ignored the doctors and assumed full responsibility for his own health. Yesterday, I spoke with a Domme who has been battling a disease for twenty years and ignoring the medical establishment's advice because she has researched her condition for years and knows it better than the doctors.

Conclusion: Dom/mes take control of our health. We're not easy patients, but we do get better.

Your thoughts/experiences?


Steven, I follow your thoughts on other threads and always find them refreshing. This time, though, I am going to have to politely disagree. You do make a good point about Dominant people taking control of their own destiny.... sometimes for the better and frequently for the worse. In my case, I have to say that I am damned lucky I have not yet had a serious illness. I shattered my heel a couple months ago and the doctor put it in a splint and told me to wear cruches for six weeks. A week later I knew better than he did and took the splint off and just started walking around. It still hurts like hell but do you think I would actually admit I was wrong? Hell no. If my lass has the least headache.... I have her ass in the car and to the doctor... but I have to be near death to go at all and then, needless to say, I always know more than the doctor does.

I smoke like a fiend and when anyone points out how bad it is for my health I am armed to the teeth with very logical arguments av=bout how ALL the research is wrong. Must be I know the truth though.... I refuse to smoke in the house or car because even though I know for a fact that all the baloney about second hand smoke is bilgewater and nonsense.... I don't want my lass to be around it (she doesn't smoke and I'd beat her if she did).

In fact, its really a wonder that I am still alive at all. When I add those extra pounds I go to the gym and lift absurd amounts of weights that leave me in massive pain for days, then eat all the fried fat I can get my hands on and suck down a couple more packs of cigarettes. You are right.... dominants are more likely to take control of their own health.... but that isn't ALWAYS a good thing....

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/11/2010 4:54:54 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		I'd be submissive to YOU, DS, but not to some random doctor ;)

But seriously, if a doctor is not willing to have a discussion with me, I'm not willing to be his patient. My typical approach (after careful research) of "This is what I'd like to do and why, let's discuss" has worked for all civilian doctors but one (who I never saw again.) My coworkers who followed his advice and had surgery ended up worse off. I saw an acupuncturist who helped me.

Now my health insurance is through the VA and it's more frustrating to get the care that I need. For example, medication that that I know works, having been taking it for years, is not in the VA formulary. So I order it online. There was a VA doctor who wanted to send me for an invasive procedure before even saying hello to me. I declined the procedure, much to his surprise. My condition is A, there was no need to undergo an invasive procedure for B, plus he had failed utterly to establish rapport. So I use the VA system for testing, which I then share with a Doctor of Oriental Medicine, with whom I am getting good results. I am fortunate in that I can afford to pay for this.

KK




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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/11/2010 5:58:07 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		I think it’s fantastic that you are managing your diabetes well, and that
you often take the time to share your knowledge of this disease with
others on the boards. I think it reflects that you are a smart man who
has taken full advantage of the many resources out there as opposed to
just listening to your doctor. It just so happens that you are also dominant.

I think it would be safe to say that if we (submissive types) were merely
suffering from a cold or a toothache, we would allow someone to
dictate the best treatment for it. But when it comes to a serious health issue
I believe that most people, whether they were dominant or submissive,
would become proactive and educate themselves on how to lead a
healthier life. To imply that we would just sit there and take it is silly.
The survival instinct is not gender or dynamic specific. Everyone has it.

< Message edited by poise -- 11/11/2010 5:59:00 AM >

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RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/11/2010 6:27:29 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		If I'd have lamely followed medical advice I'd have been in a wheelchair over a decade ago... assuming I was still here given even before that they would have had Me addicted to morphine based pain meds.

I'm still standing, I rarely use any pain meds (Just to take the top edge off when it REALLY flares) and I still have a good quality of life. Is that because I'm a Dominant? Who knows, I know plenty of submissives who wouldn't just roll over and give in either.


_____________________________

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And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

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(in reply to mons)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/11/2010 10:56:36 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I was diagnosed with diabetes a bit over a year ago. I read up, spoke with other diabetics and doctors, etc. Basically, I assumed control of the situation and reduced my doctor to the role of questionnee and regular a1c tester. I spoke to a local Master a week ago who has serious spinal injuries and yet works out on his job from two to eight hours every day. He was advised to undergo operations, etc., and has ignored the doctors and assumed full responsibility for his own health. Yesterday, I spoke with a Domme who has been battling a disease for twenty years and ignoring the medical establishment's advice because she has researched her condition for years and knows it better than the doctors.

Conclusion: Dom/mes take control of our health. We're not easy patients, but we do get better.

Your thoughts/experiences?


You don't control the incurable. For the Dom in me, it's more a case of learning to accept that which I can't control, such as a health issue.

After several years of self-imposed exile, I've only recently come to terms with an incurable condition myself. And yeah, I did all the research; tried what limited treatments are available; asked all the questions of the medical specialists etc.

I concluded that life sucks then you die; even looked over the edge into the abyss and considered hurrying things along. Then the stubborn streak kicks in.... That life can go fuck itself; that I'm not going anywhere before my time - and settled in as an urban and social recluse (and CM's resident guru).

It's taken about 4 yrs of suffocating loneliness to finally reach the 'acceptance' stage of that which I can't control and move forward again.... Even found a delightful breath of fresh air (from CM) to foster wicked thoughts once more. She actually lives in my country (gasp), my state even! lol

Focus.

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/11/2010 11:32:32 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I would say that unless you have a medical degree in your hand you don't know better than your doctor and imo this is complete stupidity of a thread. People whether they be dom, sub, slave, switch, white, black, blue or purple will take control of their health if they want to be healthy. There is zero correlation imo to being dominant.

This thread just reminds me once again that so many look at subs/slaves as weak, helpless, stupid, not taking care of themselves, etc.


While there's a few minor points I'd dispute, I think this is supoibly stated. A forthright post I'd have been proud to call my own!

Yep, there's an overwhelming current in this thread whereby doctors are portrayed as incompetents and hacks. And my former GP falls into that category for mis-diagnosing something that was very curable within the first 3 months of affliction (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome). Took 2 years of living hell (mostly chronic burning pain) to finally get the right diagnosis and what treatment was still possible. But the assorted specialists I consulted (specialist physician, pain clinics, neurology) were brilliant for what could still be done and with treating ongoing symptoms. But what I've lost and ultimately why still eats at me, despite a belated acceptance....

Another (counter?) point was an interesting article in the Oz medical journal (about a decade back) that noted the biggest mistake doctors make is not listening to their patient. That really struck a chord with me after finally getting the right diagnosis. I'm no doctor but life and a career requiring (mechanical) diagnostic skills has taught me that true coincidence is too rare to be accepted at face value. Unfortunately, I had a GP of similar age who hadn't learnt the same lesson and I lacked the medical knowledge to dispute his line of thought that I knew just didn't make sense.

When a theory isn't supported by the known facts, a good doctor (or detective) re-visits the theory. The hacks ignore inconvenient facts....

But still a post I admire. :)

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/11/2010 1:27:48 PM   
subkatslut


Posts: 81
Joined: 9/14/2010
Status: offline 		Focus I agree 100% as I was fortunate that the inability for doctors to listen to me didn't cause my own death. Not just one doctor but an endless stream who kept trying to tell me what was going on was something else and it did not add up.

My mother and father also have encountered the same issues as doctors stubbornly refuse to look at a specific problem and focus on others until something major happens that could have been prevented.

It's not to say that doctors are idiots. Some simply don't care and some simply are burnt out. Many carry a certain stubbornness in that they can't think outside the box from what they've been taught or are too afraid to with fears of malpractice should something go wrong.

I don't care how good of a doctor someone is they are not mind readers. They aren't in my body 24 hours a day 365 days a year. They cannot get but more then a glimpse into a piece of that and rely solely on me initially to help them and inform them. I do my own research so that I can understand and better assist them. For some like my current doctor it's invaluable. For most it's an affront to their egos. I mean does one seriously have enough time to listen to every little thing I notice and every little thing that's happened over the years that could be relevant? In becoming informed and me perhaps realizing something I never mentioned may actually be important is that a bad thing? Is me questioning and opting to go forward with something a little more unconventional not wise simply because it's not the route they usually opt for or because it may be a little more time consuming on their part but lower my risk or cost tremendously not a right on my part? Yeah they don't like having to depart from their norm too much.

It's supposed to be a collaboration and truly I think that is what works best. Problem is we have far too many doctors who wish to leave the patient out of it and far too many patients who would rather depend on someone else to take care of it all. Given it's the most important thing in all our lives (health that is) it just boggles my mind that this is the case.


(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/11/2010 1:47:21 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		DarkStevens hypothesis didn't hold up with my late Sir. He sucessfully ignored his illness until it killed him   -  a relatively easy to cure cancer if caught in the early stages  - when blood is noticed in the urine.

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/11/2010 11:14:26 PM   
imdmb


Posts: 121
Joined: 9/3/2009
Status: offline 		gonna start out calling you out on that smoking thing, it is bad for the other people who breath it, its bad for the eyes cause smoke is corrosive and its bad for the lungs because our lungs arent really truly able to handle it

that aside

i spent over half my life in hospitals because of various things (most of which still have not been defined, i have a special medical file in some government building actualy) and from a very early age i dictated what was going to happen the instant any doctor came thru the door (you WILL wash your hands before touching me and i WILL watch you do it! (among other things that i made them do. i had rules and protocol way before even hearing about bdsm)) so i quickly learned about medical procedures and the best way to do different things, i happen to be a dom now and maby it is a cause and effect thing, but i really doubt it, all i know is that i know how to do all sorts of things safly and could take a slave to extreme lengths

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/18/2010 8:52:27 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		I am the worse patent a Dr can have. If I have to wait past 30 mintues I get up and leave. and yea I second guess the drs by going on line an reading all I can on the meds they give me.I hurt my back a few weeks ago and already the dr is taking about invasive surgury..an't gonng happen...lol one thing I can tell you not all dr are on the same levels..right now my debbetis dr is going to get shit can cause he will not listen to me..why do drs do that.I had one tell me He was the Dr not me..so I told him he wasn't the only dr in town and that I could vote out of using him by getting up and going to anothe dr. then he listened...but crap folks, it shoud not come to that for a honest dr. Huntertn

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/19/2010 4:07:19 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I suppose I've been fortunate to almost always had damned good doctors including one who was a genius at diagnosing. My brother at age 22 spent six months in pain going to some doctor downtown near his apartment, didn't help. Finally came uptown to see the good doctor, and without any ultrasound to back it up was diagnosed with gallbladder disease. 22, male, thin and Mediterranean background, totally against what gall bladder patients are supposed to be like. The ultrasound backed him up, immediate surgery was scheduled and no more pain.


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RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/19/2010 4:34:51 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I would say that unless you have a medical degree in your hand you don't know better than your doctor and imo this is complete stupidity of a thread. People whether they be dom, sub, slave, switch, white, black, blue or purple will take control of their health if they want to be healthy. There is zero correlation imo to being dominant.

This thread just reminds me once again that so many look at subs/slaves as weak, helpless, stupid, not taking care of themselves, etc.





Not always, I have a thyroid problem that when I get the supplements is simply no problem at all, if I don't get the supplements it causes massive other problems, upon moving to the UK they decided I do not need the supplements, caused all sorts of problems, they are simply not as familiar with that specific problem as other countries because apparently it doesn't happen here often and is more of an oddity (due to being surrounded by the sea and having a high iodine concentration in the air and food). They tried to blame it on everything else, including "most likely onset of an abnormally early menopause" despite the hormone readings being just fine and dandy and showing no danger of that at all.

There were some really not so funny situations with MDs, mind you I have lived with this condition for over 20 years it's not something I imagine, and the pills if you don't need them they make you actually sick (can't get high from them), so why would I have a reason to claim it, especially since I received surgery for it (the scar is very faint but there is no other reason for a scar at the base of your neck than thyroid surgery, DOH), I recall one of the MDs being really aggressive and telling me in a patronizing voice "I'm the doctor here" and me losing it, snapping back "So am I, but at least I know my PhD isn't in medicine!" He was well pissed off and I went to the last doc who treated me outside of the country, got the proper tests done, he was shocked, wrote a stinking letter to them and all of a sudden I am seeing a specialist, in fact I saw a specialist so quick, not even waiting time, 3 days after they received the letter I was in the office of a consultant who said they should have sent me to him straight away. I'm fine now...

I think it is wrong to rely on doctors too much, my health is my business, an MD can't make decisions for me, I have to make them, he can advise me on the best treatment and course of action but in the end I have to decide which course of action is the best, and in some instances I have to actively change my life-style. He's somebody who actually works with me, he's not the boss who gives orders. If you have a company or you are managing a department, you might have lots of guys working for you who are specialists in a particular area and know more about that than you do, that's what they are paid for, still, you have to call the shots because you are the one who's paid for making the decisions by seeing the complete picture, that's how I regard MDs. No disrespect to them, they are specialists, but my body is even more valuable than a company I might own, so I call the shots. And with all respect, an MD doesn't live in my body, he doesn't know it quite as well as I do, he might be more familiar with the theory of it and the mechanics, but I know if something is at odds because I will feel different.

But to go back to the original question, I don't think it has anything to do with being dominant or submissive, it has to do with being a responsible adult.

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Those who do and those who don't!

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RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/19/2010 5:51:44 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Interesting replies all.  My doctor was stunned to find that I had actually been taking care of my health, something that evidently not many of his patients did.  I had thought that it might be a Dom mindset that was the difference... maybe those on collarme are more health-conscious than the general populace?  There's gotta be SOME factor that makes us different.


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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/19/2010 5:59:10 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I think that might be a reason, a lot of activities in BDSM are risky (that's why I prefer RACK to SSC) and we tend to (hopefully) look at the risks involved and try to minimize them, to do that we have to have a fairly good idea how the body works, so research is not an alien concept, that can come in handy too when diagnosed with something.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

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RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/19/2010 7:34:54 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
There's gotta be SOME factor that makes us different.


All of the weakest people I've met have been 'nilla...... Yep it takes strength to be a Dom... it also takes strength to be a good submissive... perchance that last piece is what You where overlooking?


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/19/2010 8:07:55 AM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		As far as your title for this thread, I see this as more just a human personality thing.

For the rest, everytime I go to my doctor, it's a two way street. Alot of the time, I have to take my part of the responsibility to get better. IMO, dealing with your issue, I would be doing both. Seeing my doctor and doing what I need to do. It's their specialty, and to particular levels, I trust them. I've got a great doctor.

< Message edited by anniezz338 -- 11/19/2010 8:09:28 AM >

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RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/23/2010 3:02:01 PM   
rubbersissysub


Posts: 4
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline 		Maybe in all of your examples ya'll were optimistic you'd beat your diseases through hard work, I seriously doubt that it's because of your role in BDSM.

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(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Do Dom/mes handle disease better? - 11/23/2010 3:49:16 PM   
vancraft


Posts: 71
Joined: 8/4/2010
Status: offline 		hard to say, maybe doms are just less likly to Liston to their doctors than the compliant submissive, in a healthy way this could be "screw that im doing it my way and better"

i am just a babe compared to some other folks so i dont really have too much of a real idea of good and bad health as nothing bigs come up yet,
but if i am in a relationship(as a sub or w/e) i treat my body as the other persons property aswell, i like them so im gonna treat their stuff with respect and take care of it.

(in reply to rubbersissysub)
Profile   Post #: 40
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