quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

Yeah, I'd like to hear about the inspiration bit too.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

  I could just be putting My own conjecture into the matter, but it sounds somewhat combative to Me in a way.  Not in the fun take down kind of sense for play, but more like the struggle for power is being set and that's a path I'm not especially interested in traveling.

As for the contrast, in the 'belly up' reference, that isn't exactly My style either.  I think many of us are familiar with the turn off that this can be.  Someone who complies to anyone and everyone.  Not only is it no fun, but it isn't the type that I tend to mesh with the best.  I suppose I'm seeing those two types as the opposite ends of the spectrum.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I don't interpret that as a person interested in submitting.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
The person in rehab needs some serious monitoring for when the walls come tumbling down. So, too, someone who needs to be "forced" to do what they want to do - the fallout can be more than they are capable of handling alone. Unexpected problems can and most likely will arise.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

Also yet another reason why the labeling options given here on CM just aren't enough. Top/bottom would be welcome additions as choices along with dominant/submissive/switch.

quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples.

Overly aggressive male "subs" generally want to be "taken down". It's a fetish I suppose, but not to be mistaken for real male submission. Just my opinion.

quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

Submission comes in many different styles, this much I’m aware of. I’d like to address one in particular…the aggressive submissive.
In my opinion, this is the person who doesn’t greet you with an ‘offered belly’ inferior stance and a whimper, but instead meets you as an equal…teeth bared, circling you while taking your measure and demanding your dominance.
Someone who submits for everyone indiscriminately...if they are truly in a servant mindset and is part of who they are instead of a demand I can enjoy their company as a friend.  Does it get to me in a way that sparks my interest?  No.
 
I prefer to be an equal, in vanilla mode in the beginning.  As for "teeth bared, circling while taking my measure..."  I've spent my entire life around animals and I read fear into this type of behavior.  I have to decide if it's from a past bad experience, or if the man has serious issues or other reservations he is hiding from me that will blow up later.  If he simply enjoys a power struggle...we are not compatible. 
 
As for demanding my dominance, lots of luck with that.   It is something that happens inside me when I care for someone. 


Could this be seen as wanting to submit but being unwilling to admit it…needing to be “forced” into submission? It seems to have less to do with physical/sexual bottoming, which they have no problem admitting to wanting albeit in a “take down” sort of way. More like equal but different. It could also be seen as a competition of sorts…”Prove you can dominate/out-smart Me and I might submit.”
There is either an interest/need, or there isn't.  I am not going to morph into some fantasy BDSM porn creature to see if I can push all of his buttons just the right way and be considered worthy.  This is a dance we do, not some stage audition.  
 
Oh goodness, I just had a flashback of former jobs in the past...when I sold Avon and Fuller Brush and had to...give away free samples to interest potential customers.  

How do you describe an aggressive submissive individual and does it differ from an assertive submissive?
Someone can be assertive without being aggressive.  We have already had definitions from several people so I won't dig out my own dictionary.   Assertive is fine, aggressive turns me off.  Someone pushing a hard sell on me is trying to lead me around by the nose.  Several have tried this week.  It's their loss.

Does that style appeal to you, why or why not?
No, it doesn't.  As to why...I didn't decide to become very physically aroused during long thuddy flogging sessions but I do.  Wondering why doesn't change anything...I just am who I am and like what I like.

What would be some of the issues that could arise in a D/s relationship that involved such a partner?
I like a peaceful life and would get tired of all the drama.  He would probably be equally unhappy, and feel unloved and frustrated if his needs were not being met.

For the folks who identify as aggressively submissive…has this style been a positive or a negative with regards to a D/s dynamic?

I’m aware this might be fairly basic fodder for some people, but I’m curious to see where this topic might lead.
Thanks.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

Yeah, I'd like to hear about the inspiration bit too.

Do you mean from me personally or as a topic. Cause I could CM ya. :>

quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples
...a load of gender stereotyping...

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples
...a load of gender stereotyping...

Nu-uh, not buying your 'excuse' for agressiveness, nor your designation of men who do exactly the same thing as somehow unsubmissive. Can we say 'double standards'?

Anyone of either gender who is so embittered by the attitudes of other dominants that they can't interact with me on a calm, warm level is not someone I'd want to be with. I'm happy for us to take time to get to know each other, I'm happy to wait for you to trust me, I'm happy for you to need time to relax but if you're going to fill the room with negative energy in the name of 'protecting yourself' just in case I turn out to be an asshole then you're way too jaded for me.

And the way you seem to think there's one rule for you and another for male submissives is just ugly. Plenty of female dominants are kind of psychotic (c'mon ladies, we all know a couple of them) and just as many men have had nasty experiences as you have, honey. I won't tolerate negativity from men any more than I would from women, but at least I've got some compassion for the shit they have to deal with too.