Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Male Dominant Tributes


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Male Dominant Tributes Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/28/2006 1:50:56 PM   
OnyxGoddess


Posts: 242
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		*sigh*  why is it when we speak of tribute it is always FINANCIAL?  And in ALL of my relationships i've made more than the man.  I expect nor have any true use for his MONEY.  I pay my own bills.  My husband gives me money for the bills and I say to him "they are already paid and i put that money in savings."  Could just be part of my controlling dominant nature-who knows.  If a sub/slave wants to "pay" I tell them just to get me something I could use when I'm with them. 
 
As far as everyone in the house contributing....the ones that don't work- clean, cook, do yardwork and the errands.  And if all are working it's a 50/50 split.  Fair is fair regardless of what gender/orientation you are. 

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/28/2006 6:58:23 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		The financial scale between my Master and I is rather tilted. He prefers me to save my money, as I need it more than he does.  However, I do bring him gifts from time to time.  I try to make them special for him though, as opposed to off the shelf stuff.

(in reply to darq)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/28/2006 8:01:41 PM   
darq


Posts: 443
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: under a rock
Status: offline 		I love giving gifts ... To anyone ... To everyone.

I guess thats why it troubles me to see submissives with my particular view point referred to as gold diggers or as seeking a meal ticket. I can provide for myself, thank you very much. But merely providing for myself doesn't make me happy ... Its not enough to merely survive ... I want to thrive.

For me to thrive, I need to put all of my talents to good use.

Giving the occasional gift is nice too because its just ... special. If I'm taking the time to find something just for you, I want you to know how special you are to me.

_____________________________

So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts ...
Tell me, whats so amazing about really deep thoughts?

I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/28/2006 8:01:55 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

The financial scale between my Master and I is rather tilted. He prefers me to save my money, as I need it more than he does.  However, I do bring him gifts from time to time.  I try to make them special for him though, as opposed to off the shelf stuff.


I bought my former dom a rather rare and expensive book that his father had given him and an exgirlfriend had kept. I did this for his birthday, it was a gift but I did not see it as tribute anymore than buying my mom a card is a tribute to her, or making my son a cake is a tribute to him. We all give "tribute" to many  people if that were the definition of the word

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/28/2006 9:45:58 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Agreed.  A gift is just that - a gift from the heart, because I wanted to give him something special, because I adore him :) 

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/28/2006 9:51:15 PM   
mathiasdomm


Posts: 71
Joined: 1/29/2006
Status: offline 		It seems like one of the major areas that my girls and I always end up working on is finances.  I realize that most of them have been young, and usually living off of daddy's AMEX, but they don't have financial planning skills.  They don't make budgets, make impulse purchases, and generally have no idea of what's going out vs. what's coming in.  We also end up talking about the value of cash. That probably isn't that uncommon.  I doubt most people have good financial management skills.  I don't know how that factors in directly to this issue of male tribute, but I think it's interesting that I've never gotten one.  Sometimes they've bought me clothes or accent pieces for the home, but never straight up tribute.  Not gifts even of toys.   Maybe there's a correlation between the fact that my girls can't manage money and that they don't give tribute. 

-m

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/28/2006 11:29:11 PM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline 		ok..

i wasn't going to post because i'm not a master.... but i'll say this.

i see a GREAT disparity between this tribute thread and the other on the mistress forum...

any thoughts why?

i see one posting thoughts here COMPLETELY contrary to thoughts posted on the other forum.

why are female dominants viewed as greedy then attacked when we see male doms here completely admitting they welcome contribution and gifts? when the mistresses essentially said the same thing on the other forum but were called every prostitute and whore in the book?

i've even gifted male SM tops i've been with and had zero qualms about it. yet when female dommes say we accept gifts or contribution to our toys or wardrobe or playspace..

suddenly that cheapens things?

i'm really wondering why the male dominants aren't being vilified as we female dommes were for saying we wouldn't turn down the same thing.

and trust me, i'm not up for a fight.. been there done that on the last thread.. just curious why the distinction one of the most viscious posters there is docile and *understanding* here- yet when female dominants admitted to not turning down the same things.. we got trashed.

please, any sincere thoughts as to why this may have occured?.. i'm really curious.




_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to mathiasdomm)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/28/2006 11:55:20 PM   
daisgirl


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

After I left home I got a huge culture shock when I discovered that men want to label women as gold diggers simply because she expects him to step up and be a man.


So true! I can relate to this.

I am so glad to turn over my hard earned income to a man who works hard to support His family. The fact is, I may earn more, but I take pride in knowing the work He does is something He cares about. His support may not be tangible or financial in nature, but it is the foundation whit which the Household functions.

It comes down to this... Are we paying tribute to a lazy bum who does not lift a finger to crate or build something, or are we honoring a man/woman that we love for their *priceless* support and guidance?


(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/29/2006 12:44:04 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Ebony,

I read through the other thread because I was curious about this concept. I think that the difference is that there are so few dommes compared to sub men and sometimes these men pay a lot of tribute for what ends up to be nothing. I am not saying that is what you do, I do not know you. I think that the difference I can see is that from what I have read here the "tribute" is often unasked for. Most dom men expend money on their subs from what I see, or they live like other families with expenses being shared...This is not always the case, some dom men demand subs hand over their money, but this does not happen as much seemingly because many of them might not have slaves/subs if they got greedy with them.

I think that it may be viewed as exploitive because this is asked of them instead of offered by them. I think that if there is nothing but a nonsexual slave/mistress relationship those on the outside think that it looks exploitive. I agreed with you on the other thread, why should you expend all your money on toys and clothes... you have every right as any other woman to want men to buy you nice things... But I guess many are uncomfortable with the idea of sub men being demanded to pay tribute to someone that may have 7 other men paying her tribute..

Like I read on the other thread... women like gifts... but because of the control and the power over the men it sounds different than the usual vanilla relationship where women nag their boyfriend to buy them flowers.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/29/2006 5:56:52 AM   
darq


Posts: 443
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: under a rock
Status: offline 		EFG,

its a lot about attitude. Over and over again in the other thread female dominants have commented that they're taking tributes now as a way to make the submissive prove himself. As if his integrity, honesty and willingness to serve just isn't enough. If he can't/won't pay up in some form or fashion then he's not worthy of their time.

Male dominants seem more willing to accept that sometimes its just not going to work out. They may get hurt. But they're not going to start demanding a 'get to know me' fee. They also don't seem to want any sort of gift of tribute until they're in a committed relationship. Suddenly the gift is coming from the heart. Who wouldn't want to accept that?

Attitude can cover a multitude of sins and imperfections ...

_____________________________

So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts ...
Tell me, whats so amazing about really deep thoughts?

I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/29/2006 7:25:16 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: darq

EFG,

its a lot about attitude. Over and over again in the other thread female dominants have commented that they're taking tributes now as a way to make the submissive prove himself. As if his integrity, honesty and willingness to serve just isn't enough. If he can't/won't pay up in some form or fashion then he's not worthy of their time.



First off... I am taking the above to mean "some" Dommes and not all.

I agree with you on the attitude part  as in female subs here seem to get what some of us Dommes have spoken on in the other thread.... Not all of us demand tribute but most of us like appreciation.

quote:

I bought my former dom a rather rare and expensive book that his father had given him and an exgirlfriend had kept. I did this for his birthday, it was a gift but I did not see it as tribute anymore than buying my mom a card is a tribute to her, or making my son a cake is a tribute to him. We all give "tribute" to many  people if that were the definition of the word 
 


Maybe is should be separated...tribute from gift.

quote:

Agreed.  A gift is just that - a gift from the heart, because I wanted to give him something special, because I adore him :) 


I don't want a tribute from someone to prove themselves, I'm quite independant and well able to look after myself, I do appreciate a gift that is given as described above and have been known to give "gifts" myself!

Oumae



_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to darq)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/29/2006 7:28:07 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Like I read on the other thread... women like gifts... but because of the control and the power over the men it sounds different than the usual vanilla relationship where women nag their boyfriend to buy them flowers.


I think people in general love to get a gift that is given with thought, having to ask for it would ruin that for me.  For me it is the thought that counts.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/29/2006 9:00:59 AM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline 		juliaoceania
quote:

I think that the difference is that there are so few dommes compared to sub men and sometimes these men pay a lot of tribute for what ends up to be nothing. I am not saying that is what you do, I do not know you. I think that the difference I can see is that from what I have read here the "tribute" is often unasked for.


don't worry, i'm not taking it personally, but on the other thread.. women that freely admit we don't demand tribute still got our tits nailed to a board. or people were saying that we demand it, but aren't upfront about it. i've run across a lot of profiles here from fulltime pro dommes that are clear about what they want. i'm clear about what i expect.. if someone can't serve me in the lifestyle capacity i want, but still they may want a heavy gummi klinik or rubber intensive therapy scene with me will compensate me for my time. and i've had 4 tributed sessions- 3 of which i collared after about our 3rd session and the tributing stopped because they were then owned. i spend money on my slaves but i know by FAR male doms are expected (sorta) to take care of their slaves.. personally, i contribute to the upkeep of any top i've ever had. the slaves that tribute because they know they can't live up to my expectations but still wnat to experience a scene with me, my personal slaves give up WAY more valuable things than fuckin money.. such as.. their free will. that's their *tribute*.. allowing me complete control and micromanagement of their lives.. the other slaves that want a taste or *glimpse* tribute me with rubber or i have been tributed cash for some of the tributed scenes i've given. that's their  contribution because they realize they can't contribute lifestyle acquiescence. i'm not in the habit of training people just so we can *play*.. any training is to mold them into the better submissive/slave for me. a pro client realizes he can't submit to my ideals.

i do see your point tho. i entirely agree how the women that demand gifts or money then run off is wrong. who would agree it's right? but when the women on the other thread said we accept sincere gifts or contribution to our toys/playspace/rubber/gear etc were suddenly whores.

darq

quote:

EFG,

its a lot about attitude. Over and over again in the other thread female dominants have commented that they're taking tributes now as a way to make the submissive prove himself.


i wholeheartedly agree and i stated before on the other thread, there are many ways for a submissive to prove himself without cash tribute. i suggested how i field through my potential applicants. they weed themselves out when they aren't willing to handwrite a letter of intent to serve and mail it to me. i feel if someone can't take the time to mail a letter then he surely couldn't submit to my whim. i know some that do demand financial tribute as a way to prove sincerity.. even though i disagree with that practice i will say this- i've never had a male tribute me randomly on his own (without me demanding it) ever turn out not to be sincere.

like someone else said on the other thread- people are reluctant to part with their money. all of the males that use cash as a gift  upfront without me saying it. many will send money with their handwritten letter of intent.. i'm not asking or demanding they mail Euros with their letter, they do it all on their own.. or they'll mail rubber stockings with the letter.. or a flogger or my favourite flowers. i don't demand it, but dammit if i'll send a nice matching set of equally weighted, chrome handle rubber floggers back to them just to *prove* i'm not trying to cheapen things.

only a couple (literally like 2 or maybe 3) of the mistresses said they demand tribute upfront for lifestyle slaves. but i do distinctly recall women being flamed for saying they do not mind nor turn down heartfelt gifts..

but i'm glad another mistress suggested this thread. i do have dominant male tops that i will engage in SM play with as a bottom and i have no problem buying us gas masks or pussy/clit pumps etc that we both enjoy during play. i feel if a top is taking time with me, i can contribute to toys or gear that make both of our experiences more enjoyable..

i just saw a wide variety of women being lumped under one umbrella and attacked like the rest just because we admit (and freely). yeah.. hook us up with some toys.. i won't turn it down.. but nearly all of the women there also said they don't demand toys yet we won't turn them down. but then we got replies pretty much saying that if we want toys we should get them ourselves.

in my heart i do sense a bit of misogyny.. at the same time.. i've always seen both sides of the fence. i know i expect different things from a male wishing to just *scene* with me, rather than someone willing to actually being *owned* by me.

ok. i'll back out and read now.. i was just curious why this thread wasn't as heated as the other one.. and why the male masters weren't being flamed like the female tops are/were.

back to lurking on this one..

< Message edited by EbonyFtshGoddess -- 4/29/2006 9:12:01 AM >

_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/29/2006 9:15:43 AM   
Reasonable


Posts: 459
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		I think the distinction and hoo hah .Ebony is all about those who.............

"Accept",vs those who "Demand"

Accept a gift and you are simply allowing gifts.

Demanding is what whores do.

Therein lies the difference.

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/29/2006 9:30:07 AM   
darq


Posts: 443
Joined: 4/21/2006
From: under a rock
Status: offline 		Well thats one way to cut right to the chase ...

I love it when I meet someone who makes me feel all diplomatic and stuff.

lol

And yeah, I agree ...

_____________________________

So you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts ...
Tell me, whats so amazing about really deep thoughts?

I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.

(in reply to Reasonable)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/29/2006 9:43:37 AM   
Reasonable


Posts: 459
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		I'm noted for  my pragmatic approach to cutting through rationalizations and excuses.

(in reply to darq)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/29/2006 10:57:42 AM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline 		darq.. with all due marginal respect.

you just said on the other forum women that are lifestyle but offer sessions for gifts or tributes are prostitutes.

darq
quote:

I still hold the view point that when you mix your professional life with your personal life, you're basically giving in and becoming a prostitute. Read carefully ...


you're back pedalling..

on one half you say it's ok to give or receive gifts (on this forum).. yet i can find several threads on the other side where you said we should get our own toys if we want to use something.. but here you express "sincere gifts are ok" sorta sentiment. you said gifts or tribute/contribution.. (whatEVER someone wants to call contribution).. is in essence prostitution.

then  you come here and say another thing. anyone can read her responses there.. then translate them unilaterally into what she's saying here.

i definitely detect discrepancy.

sorry, prostitutes have sex for money.. women and men have sex with lovers all day, dont mind gifts (in a vanilla relationship). but it's just a *relationship* then.. how is that any different than bdsm?

when dommes who don't even have sex with their slaves (tributed or lifestyle males).. or in the case of pro sessions the same holds and they don't all sex.. suddenly we're prostitutes if we accept a gift?

sorry.. i see a discrepancy here i'll reiterate.

my slaves don't view their submission as sexual. yeah, we ARE aroused, but it transcends sex. for me, interaction with my fetishes IS my sex. i haven't been laid in over 7 months. i have actual penetrative sex about 2 or 3 times a year.. otherwise i'm more than happy with my fetishes. when someone views submission as sexual they equate gifting to prostitution.

i dont offer strapon for the 4 tributed sessions i've had- yes that feels like sex. . with my personal slaves..

well that's a different story.

yes.. i do feel you're talking out of both sides of your mouth.

any respectable domme that gives a tributed session.. and DOESNT allow penetrative sex on anyone's part.. is just giving someone an experience they couldn't receive from a run of the mill domme.. i'm far from run of the mill.

strapon sex is illegal here for pro dommes in CA.

sorry, you're labeling women as  prostitutes on the other forum, yet here you're saying here it's ok for males to accept gifts.. when MOST male doms use their female slaves sexually.

if they accept gifts, and then fuck their female slaves, like most males do..

do you feel they're prostitutes too? the males i mean.

because according to your prior assertions- you would.

once again.. not starting shit.. just want a clarification.



< Message edited by EbonyFtshGoddess -- 4/29/2006 11:03:54 AM >

_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to darq)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/29/2006 11:02:05 AM   
Reasonable


Posts: 459
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline 		Hmm,I see your point here.

It all devolves to exactly what the local legal community standards of prostitution are. Stay outside of those in your practices-no matter what other exchanges are involved-and it's not.

I get it now.

enough said.

(in reply to EbonyFtshGoddess)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/29/2006 3:29:05 PM   
EbonyFtshGoddess


Posts: 446
Joined: 1/1/2006
From: Hollywood Hills, CA
Status: offline
quote:

I think the distinction and hoo hah .Ebony is all about those who.............

"Accept",vs those who "Demand"

Accept a gift and you are simply allowing gifts.

Demanding is what whores do.

Therein lies the difference.


yeah.. i can see that distinction..

i still saw it to the point where anyone saying they take a gift is a prostitute..

i just saw a clear and evident distinction on the *feel* of this thread.. (how not ONE of the males admitting they accept gifts got attacked).. when on the mistress thread it wasn't the case at all..

i do see your point, and i've always said demanded tribute before you even serve someone is wrong. i wouldn't want a top to demand anything from me without a connection established. and if someone wants me to prove myself financially before he tops me.. then well.. i'd politely decline.

i do see the distinction you make however.. and i think you're right, although it's the same thing myself and others got flamed for saying on the other board... i just find it amusing how that's not the case here


_____________________________

One Man's Phobia is Another Man's Fetish

(in reply to Reasonable)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Male Dominant Tributes - 4/29/2006 4:09:20 PM   
MistressLina


Posts: 34
Joined: 3/17/2006
From: Montreal
Status: offline 		I think that if you're trained, you should be able to ask a fee for you services, regardless the profession.
Whether or not you actually do is completely up to you.

_____________________________

Mistress Lina...indulge in your fantasy...

(in reply to MstrTiger)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Male Dominant Tributes Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109