quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

In years past, some people were afraid to admit that they were anything but hard-core, 24/7, TPE, Uber-Master & no-limits slave, etc., because they would receive flack from the "One True Way" types that looked down their noses at anyone who presented themselves as bedroom-kinky only.

I think this site has done a lot to open minds and promote acceptance of all types, so the kinksters are coming out into the daylight.

Also, some people get online and type a lot of fantasy. Just because you're reading about someone's house and barn full of slaves doesn't mean they actually exist. Online, you can be anybody you want.

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal
TPE, Non-TPE, sheesh on a lesah! People really do have a thing for the good old hate days, don't they? Look around you, sniff the air, smell what's there before it's wafted away. We are living in very different times and there are some extremely interesting scents on the breeze!

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Hello folks,
In response to the discussion of more intellectual?  indepth?  threads, I'm putting out something that has been niggling at my brain for a bit.

There are a lot of people on the fora that are "Lifestyle" people.  These are folks who really go with the whole TPE kind of dealio.  (Y'all know I'm down with that - if it makes you happy, nobody is being harmed, hey... have at it!).

I rarely see threads that are about "in the bedroom only" kind of folks.  Where do the Hanky Spankies fit in here? 

What comes up sometimes is the whole Domination / running the relationship thing, and often the folks who are just not into that aren't represented as much. 
The Tops and Bottoms are here, but the norms of the fora (which I did start a thread about recently) are generally about more intensive BDSM type relationships (not more intensive relationships - just ones that are more BDSM dynamically inclined). 

Am I off my rocker here? too sensitive? missing something because of a blind spot?

best,
sunshine

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal



(amused)

Not that it's the least bit important anymore, but in my "years past" which I am guessing wildy were a few years before your "years past" people were afraid to admit online that they were in master/slave relationships becuase if they did they would recieve flack from all the top/bottom casual players promoting their endless play parties, dungeon fuckfests, hedonstic screwing of casual acquaintances or total strangers. In fact, terms like TPE were invented precisely because "master" and "slave" were so misunderstood, hated, and feared by the popular bdsm sceners at that time. It was an attempt, I now believe a misguided attempt, to soften the impact of that reality, to make it easier for others to acknowledge this way of doing kink as legitimate enough not to earn a burning at the stake.

There really was a time, not that long ago, when anybody who spoke of wanting a deeper relationship or of having more than casual play or the occasional "bonding of equals who happen to like kink" was deeply derided and attacked, told they were mentally ill and at the same totally arrogant and pushing that life onto others, and frequently threatened with being outed and reported to the police, by people who wanted them to just shut up so that they could get on with convincing newcomers to the Scene that the epitomy of their lives would be reached when said newbie was whipped by them....

TPE, Non-TPE, sheesh on a lesah! People really do have a thing for the good old hate days, don't they? Look around you, sniff the air, smell what's there before it's wafted away. We are living in very different times and there are some extremely interesting scents on the breeze!

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Hello folks,
In response to the discussion of more intellectual?  indepth?  threads, I'm putting out something that has been niggling at my brain for a bit.

There are a lot of people on the fora that are "Lifestyle" people.  These are folks who really go with the whole TPE kind of dealio.  (Y'all know I'm down with that - if it makes you happy, nobody is being harmed, hey... have at it!).

I rarely see threads that are about "in the bedroom only" kind of folks.  Where do the Hanky Spankies fit in here? 

What comes up sometimes is the whole Domination / running the relationship thing, and often the folks who are just not into that aren't represented as much. 
The Tops and Bottoms are here, but the norms of the fora (which I did start a thread about recently) are generally about more intensive BDSM type relationships (not more intensive relationships - just ones that are more BDSM dynamically inclined). 

Am I off my rocker here? too sensitive? missing something because of a blind spot?

best,
sunshine

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

In years past, some people were afraid to admit that they were anything but hard-core, 24/7, TPE, Uber-Master & no-limits slave, etc., because they would receive flack from the "One True Way" types that looked down their noses at anyone who presented themselves as bedroom-kinky only.

I think this site has done a lot to open minds and promote acceptance of all types, so the kinksters are coming out into the daylight.

Also, some people get online and type a lot of fantasy. Just because you're reading about someone's house and barn full of slaves doesn't mean they actually exist. Online, you can be anybody you want.

(amused)

Not that it's the least bit important anymore, but in my "years past" which I am guessing wildy were a few years before your "years past" people were afraid to admit online that they were in master/slave relationships becuase if they did they would recieve flack from all the top/bottom casual players promoting their endless play parties, dungeon fuckfests, hedonstic screwing of casual acquaintances or total strangers. In fact, terms like TPE were invented precisely because "master" and "slave" were so misunderstood, hated, and feared by the popular bdsm sceners at that time. It was an attempt, I now believe a misguided attempt, to soften the impact of that reality, to make it easier for others to acknowledge this way of doing kink as legitimate enough not to earn a burning at the stake.

There really was a time, not that long ago, when anybody who spoke of wanting a deeper relationship or of having more than casual play or the occasional "bonding of equals who happen to like kink" was deeply derided and attacked, told they were mentally ill and at the same totally arrogant and pushing that life onto others, and frequently threatened with being outed and reported to the police, by people who wanted them to just shut up so that they could get on with convincing newcomers to the Scene that the epitomy of their lives would be reached when said newbie was whipped by them. You see, many a succulent piece of "fresh meat" was beginning to prick up its ears at all the tpe controversies, and wonder, "You mean there could be more to this than reporting to the world in explicit detail how I was single-tailed to a shred last weekend by the great master whipper, John Q. Scenester who then dumped me for a a chick he wanted to fuck more later that night? There is a psychological element to all of this? There might even be.. gasp... love? Or devotion? Or even someone who would want to control me outside of a short, shallow sexual scene that left me wanting so much more?" And when a few of the formerly master/slaves-now-TPEists stuck to their guns and responded with, "Yes. This is the way I happen to live, it's the way that makes me personally most happy and fulfilled, and you could have this too, if you want it badly enough" they were labeled elitist scum (aka "One True Wayists") as a way of discrediting and dismissing their discussion of their individual routes to happiness...and also pulling all the hot chicks away from the play parties. Certain monsterous ideologes, who shall go unnamed as it pleases me to observe their slowly drying flesh in the halls of the forgotten, seriously could not be happy unless everybody nodded and kowtowed to the great Scene Event in the Sky. Switches were the true royalty in those days. Twice as much kink experience as anybody else! ;)

The point of the above moldy history lesson is this: when it comes to controversy over sexual lifestyle choices within the bdsm umbrella, the wheel turns, the kalidscopic picture seems to change, but the patterns are still basically the same and they always repeat. Backlash against one form of opression generates, in its turn, those who backlash against the backlashers. (Ah, backlashing! I haven't had a good back lashing in such a long time--but I digress.) The people who talk about these things with such high dudgeon remind me of those families in which abuse is perpretrated. Parent beats kid. Kid grows up and beats his own kids. etc. Aside from getting totally off this mentally dysfunctional wheel, the only thing we can try to do is try to control our personal desires to repeat idiotic and utterly wasteful pattern of hatred and acrimony toward those wo do not act or believe as we do. Think of the wonderous things one could purchase with the hoard of emotional energy saved by not getting all bent out of shape by truly ancient controversies. Maybe even enough to "afford" a blacklashing? ;)

TPE, Non-TPE, sheesh on a lesah! People really do have a thing for the good old hate days, don't they? Look around you, sniff the air, smell what's there before it's wafted away. We are living in very different times and there are some extremely interesting scents on the breeze!

quote:

ORIGINAL: IceDemeter


I wonder if there don't seem many threads strictly about the Hanky Spanky because some folks seem to find that it morphs away from that into some version of D/s or even M/s with the HS being almost the intro...

quote:

ORIGINAL: IceDemeter

Thanks, BonesFromAsh --- I'll have you know that I most definitely am a REAL sensation junkie!

quote:


Whether it changes into something else down the line doesn't change the fact of what I am and what I enjoy right now. When it comes to kink activities, I have no doubts about what I want, and it's no more "playing pretend" than anyone else's bedroom antics. Besides, "playing pretend" can be waaaay hot (so how did it manage to start being considered an insult?!?).

quote:


Thank you for so nicely pointing out my poor wording - I really didn't put across what I was meaning at all - probably because I had two different meanings in mind at the same time. My conscious meaning was that the THREADS morph in to something else, but my poor grammar didn't make that meaning very clear, did it?

Somewhere in the dim recesses of my mind I was also thinking that for me, I didn't have enough issues or questions or comments about the level of kink that I enjoy to start a thread, or really feel the need to jump in on an existing one. Where my personal angst, if you will, came in was at this beginning of an apparent morph into something different. It was this underlying thought that more clearly came through in what I said - although without the personal reference to give it proper perspective.

quote:


I seem to recall sunshinemiss saying something earlier in the thread about someone coming in with a question and all of the answers being 20 jumps ahead of where the questioner was starting from. That really resonated with me since I really enjoy the perspectives of those who have realized the type of person and relationship that makes them happy, regardless of which end of the bell-curve their interest in kink lies. There are some here who are purely HS, some who are 24/7 TPE, and most who are somewhere around the centre --- and ALL of their views are equally REAL.

quote:


Although --- can you really trust anything said by a "nilla with fur cuffs"?!?!?

quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve

Awesome rant!

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal
TPE, Non-TPE, sheesh on a lesah! People really do have a thing for the good old hate days, don't they? Look around you, sniff the air, smell what's there before it's wafted away. We are living in very different times and there are some extremely interesting scents on the breeze!

Yeah, sorry, that was me. I had a kebab for lunch, with extra chilli sauce.

My bad.