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Being collared - 11/15/2010 3:29:55 AM   
nashsubcurious4w


Posts: 18
Joined: 8/15/2010
Status: offline 		I am new to this lifestyle and with my first Dom.  I am curious about the appropriate response if I am collared.  i know if collared, it is a place of honor and i do not want to respond inappropriately if this happens.  Would anyone be willing to share their experience with being collared?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Being collared - 11/15/2010 3:57:13 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nashsubcurious4w

I am new to this lifestyle and with my first Dom.  I am curious about the appropriate response if I am collared.  i know if collared, it is a place of honor and i do not want to respond inappropriately if this happens.  Would anyone be willing to share their experience with being collared?


If it happens, you should - IMHO - already know it's likely to come and already know what the person collaring you expects from those he/she collars. Not knowing or being unclear would be - again my humble opinion - very legitimate grounds for refusing said collar.

As for my personal experience, we were engaged before he collared me. It really didn't change anything in our relationship. The rules stayed the same, we had just made a formal commitment to live a particular lifestyle throughout the rest of our lives. Which we had already agreed to commit to each other.

Others will vary, and will vary greatly.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to nashsubcurious4w)
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RE: Being collared - 11/15/2010 6:56:50 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nashsubcurious4w

I am new to this lifestyle and with my first Dom. 
IMO, if you're new, it's usually best not to be rushing into things. It's a lot of new reactions, endorphins and strong emotions that sometimes cloud our judgement about how we really feel about the person we're with.


quote:

I am curious about the appropriate response if I am collared.
Your response should match how you feel. Just because it's offered, doesn't mean that it has to be accepted. Not accepting, doesn't mean the relationship is over either.

quote:

i know if collared, it is a place of honor and i do not want to respond inappropriately if this happens. 
 You're veiwing this as an award. It's not. It's a commitment between two people. Just like being married. 

quote:

Would anyone be willing to share their experience with being collared?
I was with my ex for 6 years. During that time period I declined his collar twice. I felt that he was doing it for the wrong reasons and requested that the tone of the relationship change before I would comfortable accepting his collar.

With my current Master, I've been collared to him for 11 years and married for 10. To us that collar was the same as being married.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 11/15/2010 6:57:25 AM >

_____________________________

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The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to nashsubcurious4w)
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RE: Being collared - 11/15/2010 9:45:37 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		In my opinion the appropriate response is whatever response comes naturally to you.

But, know what you're getting into, before you get into it. 


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to nashsubcurious4w)
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RE: Being collared - 11/15/2010 10:46:38 AM   
shellspeare


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/7/2010
Status: offline 		deleted

< Message edited by shellspeare -- 11/15/2010 10:56:36 AM >

(in reply to NuevaVida)
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RE: Being collared - 11/15/2010 11:12:26 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIFouNbllGY&feature=related


Just substitute the word "collar" for "Wii".

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

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RE: Being collared - 11/15/2010 11:49:29 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		A collar is a symbol of commitment and usually symbolizes a very serious step in a relationship. My own collar was given to me after we'd been together in a monogamous committed relationship for a while. In our case we did not have a ceremony or anything formal. He just took it out one day and said here, I've had this for you...I took it and put it on.

We're in the process now of deciding what to replace the leather buckled collar with - we want a piece of jewelry that i can wear at all times.

(in reply to nashsubcurious4w)
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RE: Being collared - 11/15/2010 1:03:07 PM   
BbcSlutKc


Posts: 60
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

A collar is a symbol of commitment and usually symbolizes a very serious step in a relationship. My own collar was given to me after we'd been together in a monogamous committed relationship for a while. In our case we did not have a ceremony or anything formal. He just took it out one day and said here, I've had this for you...I took it and put it on.

We're in the process now of deciding what to replace the leather buckled collar with - we want a piece of jewelry that i can wear at all times.

do u have an idea of places to find the collar/necklaces?

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Being collared - 11/15/2010 3:49:42 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I smiled, gave him a huge hug and kiss and thanked him. Then again we didn't have any kind of formal ceremony, there was not even telling me he was collaring me or anything. He put it on me and that was it. We just are the same people we were before.

(in reply to BbcSlutKc)
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RE: Being collared - 11/15/2010 4:39:44 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BbcSlutKc

do u have an idea of places to find the collar/necklaces?


Well, we've looked around online but haven't really decided on what to get yet. Did you have a suggestion?

(in reply to BbcSlutKc)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Being collared - 11/15/2010 7:13:29 PM   
dory007


Posts: 40
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline 		take your time. a collar should be a serious commitment. the meaning of the collar should be negotiated prior to offering or accepting one. don't get pushed into moving too fast. date some other D types to make sure you know what you want. don't fall for dungeon love. make sure you have similar vanilla interests too. you can't be naked and kneeling all the time. 

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Being collared - 11/15/2010 8:55:11 PM   
WolfyMontgomery


Posts: 234
Joined: 9/28/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I am new to this lifestyle and with my first Dom.  I am curious about the appropriate response if I am collared.  i know if collared, it is a place of honor and i do not want to respond inappropriately if this happens.  Would anyone be willing to share their experience with being collared?


It is only a place of honor in the same sense that a wedding ring or engagement ring might be - you will most definitely feel honored that he wanted *you*, I'm sure, just remember that it's not any rite of passage in the game of submissiveness or anything. A collar does not equal "Level 2" or a higher ranking or anything.

Like everyone else said, your response will be what your response is, how would you respond to being offered an engagement ring? Or at the very least, a going steady ring or a promised ring? Have you been with him long enough to feel the urge to get anything like that? It's a symbol of commitment between two people - it may *not* be quite as fancy or special as a wedding ring, but it is still (unless it's a play collar or something) an object that marks the two of you as being committed to each other and the relationship to some degree. So make sure you're also wanting to be committed to him and the relationship you have before accepting that collar.

As for appropriate responses during any sort of collaring ceremony - that's completely reliant on what the two people giving and receiving the collar want. Master liked fancy little rituals and whatnot to give meaning to these sorts of things, he wrote a long speech that I was required to speak and kneel before him as he presented me my collar. The meaning of the collar I wear is half a step below an engagement ring - we are promised, we are committed to each other, we plan on being engaged and married when the means come to us and after we've been together longer, but we can already see that were very happy together and want to be together. Plus he's a little old fashioned, and so he wants to get a big fancy engagement ring to mark an actual engagement, which means I have to wait until we have the money for something like that ;P

The collar is what you make it, and what it means to you and your Dom. Make sure you know what it means to you and whether those needs and wants to have said collar are met. And make sure your Dom communicates to you what the collar means to him, and what sorts of rituals or protocols he wants to see when giving/receiving the collar.


_____________________________

~Eleven

-A Wolf of a Different Color

Fear me and my Gleaming Metal Chompers of DOOM!
..........that means my braces. >_>

(in reply to dory007)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Being collared - 11/15/2010 9:31:00 PM   
browneyedbbwsub


Posts: 8
Joined: 11/15/2010
Status: offline 		I'd definitely wait to accept getting collared so quickly. I had a Dom who wanted to collar me...and he did...but I realized later it didn't mean to him what it meant to me. He was new. So was I. When we broke up, I was so hurt. Deeply hurt. I felt so betrayed. Don't set yourself up for that. I was nearly destroyed as I opened up so much to this man and he toyed with the symbol of commitment. 

(in reply to WolfyMontgomery)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Being collared - 11/16/2010 1:55:11 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline 		~FR~
I have to say, I agree w/ everything everyone has said here.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to browneyedbbwsub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Being collared - 11/16/2010 2:29:47 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nashsubcurious4w

I am new to this lifestyle and with my first Dom.  I am curious about the appropriate response if I am collared.  i know if collared, it is a place of honor and i do not want to respond inappropriately if this happens.  Would anyone be willing to share their experience with being collared?

Who is planning to collar you?  Your husband or the long distance dominant that also has you searching for a woman to keep you company?  Are you sure you are not rushing things?


_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
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(in reply to nashsubcurious4w)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Being collared - 11/16/2010 3:41:22 AM   
nashsubcurious4w


Posts: 18
Joined: 8/15/2010
Status: offline 		That was cute!  After all the serious responses I needed a smile. Thanks.

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Being collared - 11/16/2010 3:44:29 AM   
nashsubcurious4w


Posts: 18
Joined: 8/15/2010
Status: offline 		VERY good advise about discovering similar vanilla intersts.  I haven't given any thought to dating other D types but maybe I should consider it.  Since He is my first experience, I really have nothing to compare Him to.

(in reply to dory007)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Being collared - 11/16/2010 3:54:47 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

quote:

ORIGINAL: nashsubcurious4w

I am new to this lifestyle and with my first Dom.  I am curious about the appropriate response if I am collared.  i know if collared, it is a place of honor and i do not want to respond inappropriately if this happens.  Would anyone be willing to share their experience with being collared?

Who is planning to collar you?  Your husband or the long distance dominant that also has you searching for a woman to keep you company?  Are you sure you are not rushing things?


This gives honor a whole new meaning. Perhaps the husband can offer you a proper response?
How can one man claim ownership and collar the property of another? Details....please
And how long can "discrete" commitments last?

< Message edited by poise -- 11/16/2010 3:56:09 AM >

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Being collared - 11/16/2010 4:37:32 AM   
phoenixmoonn13


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline 		to me and master my collar is as binding and more so than the wedding rings we both wore in the past. when i submitted to him i just knew that he was the person i would want to place his collar round my neck. i also knew that he was someone i wanted to be with and connected with in a way that was far deeper than any past relationships. He collared me a few days later he would have done it there and then but we didnt have anything to mark it with (we were in bed at the time) and i just said what i felt a the time i could nto have planned it or thought of the words they just came..

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Being collared - 11/16/2010 4:46:24 AM   
GabrielleSlave


Posts: 616
Joined: 9/20/2007
From: in servitude
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone
Who is planning to collar you?  Your husband or the long distance dominant that also has you searching for a woman to keep you company?  Are you sure you are not rushing things?



^^ this.

Master and i take Oour potential collaring as seriously as Wwe would getting married, infact even more so.

_____________________________

Slave to Master Slayer

~ Host of the Rather Marvelous Greenwich Munch ~

"There is no such thing as liberty. You only change one sort of domination for another. All we can do is to choose our master."
D. H. Lawrence

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 20
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