RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (Full Version)

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cloudboy -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/17/2010 10:23:41 PM)


I don't think introverts can engage in casual play, I know I've never done so.



AlexandraLynch -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/18/2010 12:51:05 AM)

Yes and no.  A little light flogging and sensory play, yes. But if I'm going to hurt someone, or use knives on them, it's a little more intimate and I need more connection to make it work for me. And I don't as a rule have casual sex. At the moment I wouldn't anyway, as I just got a new primary partner (we are a triad) and we're sort of focusing on our threesome. 



LadyHugs -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/18/2010 3:16:10 PM)

LadyPact,

I can engage in casual play rather easily.  Many times, I am in a position of 'mentor,' 'presenter' to which places me in a position of 'casual' interactions.

At times I am co-TOP/co-DOM, to which falls into 'casual' play as well.

Those 'serious' plays are usually with my private slaves however, I am not so selective that I won't participate in casual play, such as 'slave auctions' for charity, helping out in a scene, etc.

When my slaves aren't attending me, all other interactions would be 'casual' in my opinion.

Just some thoughts.

Respectfully,
Lady Hugs



Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/18/2010 3:19:13 PM)

Yup. Or I did before I got into a relationship with Daddy and he doesn't let me play with any one else hardly. And I would do so again in a heart beat if Daddy let me, or I was single again.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Do you engage in casual play?  I'm defining casual play as BDSM with others who you have no romantic/emotional attachment (outside of friendship) with those that you enjoy bondage, discipline, sadism, and/or masochism. 
.




anniezz338 -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/18/2010 8:47:11 PM)

As a general rule, I'm not casual. But I feel I won't find who I'm looking for if I don't venture out. Some things work out and some do not.



LadyOddsworth -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/18/2010 10:00:23 PM)

Depends on how it's defined. I don't have to be in a full blown relationship, but I do have to be friends at least.



Arturas -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/18/2010 10:06:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Just something that I'm curious about from another thread.  There are no right or wrong answers here.  Just personal opinion.

Do you engage in casual play?  I'm defining casual play as BDSM with others who you have no romantic/emotional attachment (outside of friendship) with those that you enjoy bondage, discipline, sadism, and/or masochism. 

Please note that the above question does not necessarily have to mean that you are engaging in physical sex with any bottom or top that you might be playing with.  That's a different angle.  I also don't care if it's private or public.  I'm just curious about how the numbers stack up among our forum participants.




I've not.

Oops, sorry. "Wrong door".

Arturas



Andalusite -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/23/2010 8:21:28 PM)

I've done casual play, right now, I have a playpartner who I'm not in a formal relationship with of any sort, who reacts submissively toward me and enjoys bottoming to me. I'm the opposite of some of the other people here - I can play casually with people I'm not very emotionally drawn to or attracted to, but it's tough to keep it casual if I do feel more strongly toward them. It's easier for me to be casual as a top/Domme than as a bottom/submissive, generally speaking, depending on the other person.



FreeButterfly -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/25/2010 8:47:54 PM)

Casual was never my style and I don't dominate what isn't mine.  I find that where my body goes, my heart can follow... and get hurt... so I'm careful of both.  Whether that is age and wisdom or just plain fear, I don't know.... but it is who I am.  I need a relationship to be that intimate with a person



CaringandReal -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/26/2010 1:10:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Just something that I'm curious about from another thread.  There are no right or wrong answers here.  Just personal opinion.

Do you engage in casual play?  I'm defining casual play as BDSM with others who you have no romantic/emotional attachment (outside of friendship) with those that you enjoy bondage, discipline, sadism, and/or masochism. 
that you might be playing with.  That's a different angle.  I also don't care if it's private or public.  I'm just curious about how the numbers stack up among our forum participants.



I did occasionally, when my master chose to arrange it with friends. It happened very infrequently. He was always present--except once, when I went to an event in another city with a female dominant he trusted. She had permission to play with me, and she did, but not to share me.

I don't know how you'd define this, but sometimes I was asked/required to witness play rather than participate in it. Since the players on both sides appreciated good "commentary" I would often provide such. Is that participation? ;)



susieqh -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/26/2010 3:09:23 PM)

I have in the past and would again if I was in a relationship that allowed it. For me, it allowed me to experiment and try things that the one I was involved with wasn't interested in doing.



undergroundsea -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/27/2010 3:37:41 PM)

I engage in casual play. By casual play I mean play that is outside of an ongoing relationship.

I might to go a party or event and click enough to play with someone there. I am open to the idea of playing just once. This type of play aligns with my philosophy that things are not black or white but come in shades of gray. Chemistry, compatibility, and attraction are not black or white and come in shades of gray. The type of play done is not black or white but occurs in shades of gray.

I think it is perfectly fine to engage in casual play as long as each person enjoys it and it is done with good intentions. I keep many such play experiences as happy memories and hold good wishes towards those with whom I shared them.

What I don't do is play simply for sake of play. That is, I am not interested to be flogged simply to experience a flogging. The interest to play must be inspired, which has complex makings. There are women on whom I at one time had a crush and still logically find them attractive. However, there is something that lies outside the rational that is missing (D/s chemistry) and the interest to play is not there.

Cheers,

Sea



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/27/2010 4:26:33 PM)

Yes, I play casually. So far, the combination of living pincushion and trusty butler haven't come in the same package for me all that often. Most of those who have been outstanding servants haven't been particular interested in my more... bloodthirsty entertainments... and vice versa. So I've nearly always done -some- casual play.

Calla



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/27/2010 4:31:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy


I don't think introverts can engage in casual play, I know I've never done so.


I would not rule out introverts completely. I'm an INTJ (introvert, intuitive, thinking, judging  by Meyers-Briggs analysis), and not fond of crowds or clubs... however, I -do- casually scene. Most of those with whom I scene have also been introverts -- the kind of needle and knife play that I do lends itself to internal journeys, and, as such, I seem to end up with bottoms who play with me to hit that deep internal headspace. They, too, are not fond of loud club scenes or crowded situations, so we usually plan a small event -- just enough people for both of us to feel safe and nominally "public" if we've never played before and don't know one another well -- or a private scene for those with whom I've played before and who are comfortable being either alone with me, or only in the company of House members.

Calla



anniezz338 -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/27/2010 4:49:54 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Sure.  Something light like spankings. But I consider sex to be a noncasual thing.  (At least in theory - I have weakened a few times...)



*takes note* [sm=writing.gif]






Me too...lol



kalikshama -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/27/2010 5:25:27 PM)

All my LTR's began casually, including my 14 year marriage, so count me as a yes. Note: I can be casual with men but prefer an emotional connection with women.



subinlife -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/27/2010 5:57:44 PM)

Not into casual play, I need the emotional connection.



undergroundsea -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/27/2010 6:14:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subinlife
Not into casual play, I need the emotional connection.


Without discounting what you need, I wish to convey the point that casual play and an emotional connection are not mutually exclusive.

When I am playing with someone whom I have met at an event or party, I am connected with them at some level. It is certainly not as great a connection as it might be in a committed, ongoing relationship. However, what I am willing to do then also varies with this connection.

I liken the matter to friends. There are some friends with whom one has a greater connection and with whom one goes deeper into friendship. And there are some friends with whom one does not have as great a connection. One might still enjoy and do what is appropriate for that level of friendship (to go watch a movie, have a beer). I think the same concept can be extended to sexual, romantic and D/s chemistry.

Cheers,

Sea




Tantriqu -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/27/2010 6:39:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: subinlife

Not into casual play, I need the emotional connection.


Same for me.
I did casual when I was younger, and yes, there is a connection with a casual sub stemming from such extreme physical intimacy, but it's not enough. I need intellectual and ethical compatibility, cuz christ knows, it's no fun fucking the ass of a dumb guy or libertarian slob. Besides, nowadays it takes two weeks for his STD testing to come back!
Requiring LTR means far less sex [dammit!] during the dry spells, but it's a conscious choice of quality over quantity, since the sex and other benefits get far better the longer the relationship. All hail the coming of the wet season!




DamnPickyDomme -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (11/27/2010 6:58:29 PM)

nope, won't play casually. it holds no appeal for me, never has never will. i suppose it works for some folks, but for me there's no pleasure in it unless there's an emotional connection. otherwise it's just mechanics, might as well go rub wax on a car or beat the dust out of a rug.

edited for stupid fingers that can't find the right keys tonight!



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