RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (Full Version)

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SlaveSubtoserve -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/8/2011 4:46:40 PM)

i have yes when not in a relationship.



SexyBossyBBW -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/8/2011 8:28:42 PM)

I don't consider myself a casual player, have a bit of social anxiety, I don't date casually, and haven't attended a public event in a while.   Having said that, if I attend an event, and playing is going on where I feel comfortable, I tend to be of the mindset "when in rome do..."    M



mummyman321 -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/8/2011 8:31:13 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Just something that I'm curious about from another thread.  There are no right or wrong answers here.  Just personal opinion.

Do you engage in casual play?  I'm defining casual play as BDSM with others who you have no romantic/emotional attachment (outside of friendship) with those that you enjoy bondage, discipline, sadism, and/or masochism. 

Please note that the above question does not necessarily have to mean that you are engaging in physical sex with any bottom or top that you might be playing with.  That's a different angle.  I also don't care if it's private or public.  I'm just curious about how the numbers stack up among our forum participants.



I will admit I do engage in casual play. I will also say I am very picky who I play with. I do enjoy teaching, sharing knowledge and demonstating various techniques with me being the guinea pig. I also enjoy the more experienced Domme, who some may classify as a Sadist, who is looking to explore her inner rage, but having trouble finding willing volunteers. I will say in both instances the play is not sexual in nature.

Am I strictly seeking casual play? No, I do seek a Domme who has simlar interests to me for a LTR. I doubt I will find it locally but do see opportunities in the future to relocate.



WestBaySlave -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/8/2011 9:28:45 PM)

 I don't do casual play at all, whether inside a relationship or single. If I don't have an emotional connection to someone anonymous BDSM is as sexy and fun for me as whacking two ken dolls together. This means that one-offs have two possible outcomes: chilly distaste and boredom or an artificial emotional attachment to someone who really didn't want more than a night.

As an aside, I'm the only man I know who does not play casually at all. I've met hundreds of gay guys into BDSM and even the ones that are monogamous in sex and play while partnered tend to play while single. I seem to be an anomaly.

( Not sure if it was okay to answer this thread given its location in the Mistress forum, but since everyone else did and Lady Pact didn't specify, I'm hoping it's alright. )



CherryNeko -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/8/2011 10:08:39 PM)

Only four times, before, but I don't think that counts. It was not as important as it is now with my boyfriend, and I don't do it now that He has me. I like it more this way, so I don't consider myself to be a casual player.



Need4Squeeze -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/9/2011 3:04:41 AM)

Do you engage in casual play?

Oh, wouldn't you like to know... (lol)

Depends who's asking.

Bur seriously, it would all depend on the situation, the person (persons) involved and my own circumstances at the time. I believe in the old 'do onto others' thing. I don't want to be cheated on, so I wouldn't do it to someone else. But if I'm free and unattached or with someone who thought a bit of non-sexual play (people's definition of that will vary) is ok, I don't see why not.
Instant attraction and responding to the 'animal inside you' can be a wonderful thing. Life is too short and too serious, to constantly worry about whether something will evolve into a long and lasting relationship.

Not saying I'm actively looking for 'casual' but I wouldn't necessarily rule it out either. A relationship has many advantages. Forming a strong connection and understanding of each other, liking and caring about each other, etc. etc... 



JstAnotherSub -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/9/2011 3:11:27 AM)

I don't.  I wish I could get my mind to work that way, because it is going on 5 years since my last relationship ended.  For me, the sex and play are a combo package, so I wouldn't be able to have one without the other.




LadyPact -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/9/2011 10:57:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WestBaySlave
( Not sure if it was okay to answer this thread given its location in the Mistress forum, but since everyone else did and Lady Pact didn't specify, I'm hoping it's alright. )


Of course it is, WBS.  I'm glad to hear from any demographic who can lend a worthwhile contribution to the subject. 



81song -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/9/2011 11:42:46 AM)

I guess you could call me a  casual player because I do not have a Domme That being said I am not jumping to just any Domme and I am a bit picky. 



sexyred1 -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/9/2011 11:57:04 AM)

I wish I could be a casual player, but I won't.

Not so much because I am seeking a LTR and emotional connection, which I am, but in my view, I don't want to play or have sex with someone where I will not feel the intensity of what I am used to.

It would be akin to eating fast food when you really only want a gourmet meal. Kind of a waste of calories for little return.



Phoenixpower -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/9/2011 12:08:08 PM)

I don't do casual play unless I do meet as a pro sub which then is not really casual play for me but a service instead (and thats rare these days).

However, personally I have no interest in casual play with a stranger as I guess for that it is too less about kinkyness for me but instead too much for a serious ltr level for me.

If I want something casual I meet up with my ex, as there at least I know I am safe and know I will have great sex and am able to let myself go, two things where I have no guarantee with a stranger.

Due to not loooking for a casual play was a reason to remove the city from my profile as it was tiring to be contacted countless times from folks nearby who thought they can convince me to meet them so that they get laid...and quite frankly I do well without the urge of getting laid, so I don't see the point of meeting them [:D]



ThePeripatetic -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/9/2011 8:10:28 PM)

I'm actually currently participating in semi-regular casual play. There isn't really an official kink community where I'm living in Japan so I'm not so much looking for a LTR, kink-orientated relationship here. But I have met a few friends here who share a mutual interest in BDSM. We've been able to find a place where we can get training in Japanese shibari and I, being the rope-slut that I am, frequently end up bottoming (tough life eh?). It's been strictly platonic, drama-free, and lots of fun.

Plus they've been working on their technique with impact play and I've bottomed for that as well. I don't enjoy this near as much as I enjoy the bondage though. I really need to be in the right headspace to take a lot of impact play and I've only channeled that in a serious, committed D/s relationship. The ropes on the other-hand, I'll take it any way I can get it!!!




ElanSubdued -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/15/2011 3:37:58 AM)

Lady Pact,

When i go to events as a single person and without a partner, generally play isn't my goal - socializing is, but not play per se.  However, if i meet someone there and the conversation and chemistry is such that a mutual desire to play develops, then yes i will play.  The play doesn't need to be a prelude to romance.  i'm not sure if this answers Your question, but hopefully it does.

e.



BurntKitty -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/15/2011 3:47:21 AM)

I will play casually at a local dungeon, since there's others around and sex is not allowed. I won't play privately unless I'm in a relationship. I don't do casual sex, but casual pain is ok.



MrRodgers -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/15/2011 5:21:51 AM)

Interesting question but of course one must define casual. Since coming to the net I have seen players...NOT seeking players. I have seen those looking online for MR. or MS. Perfect only, before even considering meeting, yet all of the while playing with many while looking and obviously with those...less than perfect.

We ALL play and we all play on the way to a relationship. Yes we all seek that gourmet meal (which is also often because it is better play) while sure enough...grab that sandwich and a coke...when we are hungry.

Is one to believe from what is read here that vanilla partners play more because well he's my b/f or she my g/f having no preconception that well...they had to be 'perfect ?'



VaguelyCurious -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/15/2011 10:05:40 AM)

Dude. You've managed to entirely misunderstand the way we're using the word 'play'.



LadyPact -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/15/2011 10:08:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrRodgers

Interesting question but of course one must define casual. Since coming to the net I have seen players...NOT seeking players. I have seen those looking online for MR. or MS. Perfect only, before even considering meeting, yet all of the while playing with many while looking and obviously with those...less than perfect.

We ALL play and we all play on the way to a relationship. Yes we all seek that gourmet meal (which is also often because it is better play) while sure enough...grab that sandwich and a coke...when we are hungry.

Is one to believe from what is read here that vanilla partners play more because well he's my b/f or she my g/f having no preconception that well...they had to be 'perfect ?'


Did you completely not understand the question?



allthatjaz -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/15/2011 10:31:08 AM)

Hi LadyPact, I haven't done any casual play for over a year but that's not because I can't. It's just that having mj around is enough for me.
I used to casual play quite a bit at clubs and parties, especially when I teamed up with other Dommes. It was never sexual and always just a bit of fun on a spur of the moment sort of thing.
Steve sometimes casually plays at private parties. The girlies know he likes a good wrestle and so they are always volunteering. I act as ref as it can get a bit rough [:D] Again its not sexual, though I'm sure sometimes he would like it to be [;)]

Edited to say, that is absolute nonsense MrRogers. Not everyone seeks that gourmet meal. Some people are casual players and want to remain casual players. A couple of friends of our who are a married sub couple will always casually play. They love each other and don't want a poly relationship and so they both go to clubs and play off the cuff.
Never presume that what you want is what everyone else wants.



MaamJay -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/15/2011 6:11:56 PM)

Count Me in as a casual player by LP's description. At the moment, whilst travelling, if I want to Domme at all, it has to be on a casual basis as there's no room for another live-in partner in the van! My sub side is fully satiated with Master and i've no wish to sub outside this (nor has He any wish for me to do so) but "My other side" does need an outlet every now and then (or Master's arse becomes an endangered species LOL!).

That said, I like to have exchanged several messages with someone ahead of time, and I also prefer to have one extended vanilla meeting (such as dinner) with them before fixing the play time. There has to be some level of connection for Me to want to be that intimate with them (as in seeing them naked, touching their skin, let alone flogging, spanking etc). Rarely (it has happened so I can't say never!) do I engage in anything particularly sexual with them on My part, in fact most often My clothes remain firmly on! However, being a voyeur if they have been good, they may be allowed to make themselves cum for My viewing pleasure at the end of the scene. This tends to be good satisfaction all round! And Master gets the benefit from allowing the play of my enhanced sexual energies later! So that's how I choose to play 'casually'.

Maam Jay aka violet[A]



seekingOwnertoo -> RE: How Many Of You Are Casual Players? (1/18/2011 8:04:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

~derailing thought inspired by Geoff's post~
LOTS of folks say they need that "attachment"...which makes me wonder how many launch into relationships so they can play!


You might have a better handle on this than I ...

All I can say is ... For Me ... without a mental connection, that leads to the emotional ... the physical is quite blaaaaa .... [:)]

Basically like taking a trip across the river, to the land where escorts are tested, licensed and cost a few hundred for an hour of ... well ... it is supposed to be fun! [;)]



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