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Adding a "How To" section - 11/18/2010 10:13:41 PM   
LadyOddsworth


Posts: 141
Joined: 1/2/2010
Status: offline 		Has anyone ever suggested a section here on the boards on "How to" or an "Education" area on everything from how to use a flogger to tips on giving a good pedicure?

Seems to me like that would be a nice addition, especially for newbies and or people getting into something new.

Just a thought.

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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/18/2010 10:52:36 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		It's a good thought, too! It seems bulky, though...maybe a sticky with linkage, or a book list?

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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 10:02:46 AM   
BambiBoi


Posts: 461
Joined: 8/10/2010
Status: offline 		I like the idea.. It allows well thought through unsolicited information to be added. It's not like CM refuses to have slow or hardly used forums. Maybe under Creations, alongside creative writing.

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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 10:30:23 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		With a big disclaimer that reading about it does not mean you are automatically an expert... I can just see people reading about a particular activity and then thinking they can attack their subbie with a single tail and "Ooops, sorry, didn't mean to damage your kidneys" or "Bummer, sorry about your eye, but you got 2 of them..."

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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 10:36:21 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		We had that discussion a while back. About things we wouldn't tell people how to do because anybody who would go from reading a thread to doing it isn't someone who should be doing it.

Maybe it's not right to withhold information but many of us would feel bad if some idiot injured someone based on our jotting down a few notes.

I know Lady Pact said she wouldn't give a how to do needle play. When suspension comes up, I don't make suggestions how to do it but instead why what the poster wants to do won't work.


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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 10:56:29 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		I am a huge fan of what a lot of people consider edge play, if safety precaution are done, you know what you are doing (really know, not just read something online or glimpsed over it), you know who you are playing with, you keep things as sterile and clean as possible and you start small, needle play is seriously not rocket science, but yes, I wouldn't tell somebody online how to do it and give him or her the idea that it's alright sticking random needles into somebody. Same with single tails, lots and lots of practice and even then, nobody is 100% accurate, you might stumble, a sound might distract you, sub might move a bit, not really a good idea for somebody to pick one up and go for it.

Most of us had years of practice and have slowly upped the game... I think it could give a false sense of security to have a how to section, though I think a "What not to do" section might be great.

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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 11:16:33 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Exactly!

I'm actually more comfortable discussing pointers on play with posters that I have seen around the boards for some time that I know from reading their posts that they aren't novices and have safety as a prime concern.  That is much different to Me than trying to post how to instructions on the board where I have no idea of the reader's skill level or if they will take the safety precautions seriously. 

In addition, I have to add that creating such posts would seriously be a heck of a lot of work.  For such posts to be as thorough as I would feel a topic deserves, we're talking about hours of typing out explanations.  That's something I'm willing to do on a case by case basis when I get an email from someone on the other side who already has some knowledge and just needs a little help.  To start from square one and explain the type of play from the ground up is a huge endeavor.  It's more than I'm willing to do for something that is going to be on the net.


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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 11:24:53 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		GMTA

As an idea, I have discussed certain things in detail as well via mails, I now regret that I haven't kept a lot of the "instructions" because it's a lot of work always typing them out again, how about pooling resources, there are 1001 online journals and blocks where you can restrict access to random readers and only let people you think should see it access it.

That could be a good way for it.

Though I must say that I would like to see a section on how to clean toys and tools properly, because I am so often shocked that people really do not know how to do that, especially if they are playing with random partners. And to be perfectly honest, somebody who doesn't know or care how to look after their tools, I am suspicious and not inclined to help them getting into activities where even more could go wrong, if they don't take hygiene seriously, chances are they are not responsible players anyway.


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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 11:50:01 AM   
Wheldrake


Posts: 477
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

With a big disclaimer that reading about it does not mean you are automatically an expert... I can just see people reading about a particular activity and then thinking they can attack their subbie with a single tail and "Ooops, sorry, didn't mean to damage your kidneys" or "Bummer, sorry about your eye, but you got 2 of them..."


Surely that should read, "...but you had 2 of them..."

I can understand why people are reluctant to have a "how to guide" that covers the more edgy and high-risk techniques, but that wouldn't preclude one restricted to safer topics. It sounds like it might be a worthwhile resource.

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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 12:02:03 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		But do you really need a "How to" guide on how to spank?

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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 12:04:46 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		It seems to me, the central question should be posed thusly:


Do YOU spank?

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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 1:23:09 PM   
Wheldrake


Posts: 477
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

But do you really need a "How to" guide on how to spank?


Good question. Maybe we need to hear from novice dommes about what kind of information they would actually find useful? Anyway, my personal interest in this is fairly academic, unless the guide is also going to include tips for submissives on things like giving pedicures (as the OP suggested). I suppose I might find advice like that handy, but I'm not sure that compiling it would be worth the effort considering that lots of information on pedicures and similar topics must be floating around in cyberspace already.

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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 2:05:42 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Ladies and Gentlemen,

I wouldn't mind having a 'how to,' however; as another poster said in summary, anybody can post and this can muddy the waters and leave people reading just as confused as they were before.

There is nothing, in my personal opinion, that replaces mentoring a novice in person.  People throwing floggers and single tails out, have a different rotations based on length of arm, strength and such.   Another area, in which I am all for mentoring in person, are needles, bondage and CBT/NT.  Because male anatomy how their veins in their genitals course is not the same in another man.  So, doing a how to might nick a vein that isn't smart to do.  Judgment via perspective is different in people, in addition to how we (in a general sense) understand/comprehend.  At times words just fail to describe a personal sensation, such as 'flying.'

I would also express my agreement, that in all skills, it takes practice.  Sure, there are short cuts however, that is where a mentor can come in and by-pass the areas of learning to come to the end results.  It isn't full of giggles and grins but, practice is irreplacable, in my opinion.

Respectfully,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 2:49:57 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wheldrake
Good question. Maybe we need to hear from novice dommes about what kind of information they would actually find useful? Anyway, my personal interest in this is fairly academic, unless the guide is also going to include tips for submissives on things like giving pedicures (as the OP suggested). I suppose I might find advice like that handy, but I'm not sure that compiling it would be worth the effort considering that lots of information on pedicures and similar topics must be floating around in cyberspace already.


I believe that some time ago, there was an excellent thread about giving pedicures.  I'm thinking that UndergroundSea either started it or was one of the participants on it.  (I'm thinking that OttersSwim is on it as well.)  If I'm remembering correctly, it's definitely worth the read. 

As for what novices want to know, I couldn't answer that.  I am, however, very much in agreement with what Lady Hugs had to say.  I'm much more in favor of teaching in person and I really think that is the preferred method.  There are a lot of things that I couldn't convey properly in the written word alone.  When I give a demo, I always prepare a handout, but that's in addition with people seeing what I am doing.  I have an event coming up in December with wax.  Now, that's pretty tame as far as a lot of things go.  Still, it's the visual aide part that helps people to know how far above the skin dripping wax should be and so on.

Also, as Lady Hugs brings up, a "how to" section isn't reserved for comment just to those who have been playing for years.  What happens the first time that someone decides to create a post saying that it really it's ok to clean sounds with dishwater or that a violet wand doesn't have enough juice to stop somebody's heart?  Sure, a lot of the experienced players would get on the thread and contradict those statements, but what happens in the time period inbetween?  The wrong information is 'out there' for somebody to read and take as good play advice.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 2:53:26 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		The internet is FULL of crap advice. FL is overflowing with it. Sure, some of us are very experienced, but who am I to say that someone else isn't, if I don't know them personally?

Someone (or two!) mentioned that it would be a huge amount of work to write up a ton of posts, and I am glad that I held back and let someone else say it!! How about a nice book list, like Kalon has? I gather some folk read books on BDSM... I confess that I pretty much do not, so other than anything by Guy Baldwin et al, I got nothing as far as suggestions go.

A nice Q & A, maybe?

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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 3:08:02 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		The "advice" I've seen somewhere, like that is OK to use deep heat as lube for sounds and all that, yeah... Yikes...

Some things are such no brainers...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 3:09:01 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		OMG SRSLY??? Icy hot for LUBE???

Dang. Is it on Youtube?

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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 3:11:28 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

OMG SRSLY??? Icy hot for LUBE???

Dang. Is it on Youtube?


On another forum somebody said it's fine to use Capsaicin on dildos and sounds, apparently they did it and nothing happened, a bit like "I've been engaging in FT for years and I'm still alive"

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/19/2010 4:45:06 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		FR,

The only way I could imagine this working, safely, is if the advice were to be rock-bottom simple and aimed at the utterly clueless.  Just enough advice to stop them doing some really, stupidly, dangerous things.  Once collated into a thread, that thread should be closed for comment. 

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RE: Adding a "How To" section - 11/20/2010 5:18:21 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

But do you really need a "How to" guide on how to spank?


Yes. Because a paddle should not be applied to the tailbone. And unfortunately there are people who don't know what or where the tailbone is.


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