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RE: forced bi - 11/22/2010 11:27:07 AM   
stiv2009


Posts: 19
Joined: 10/4/2009
Status: offline
quote:

First you grow up, THEN you access *adult* sites - easy.


Are we to take it then, that any kind of confusion regarding sexual orientation - is merely a matter of immaturity? And that all mature people by definition have left all that behind? No-one questions their sexuality once they're over thirty?

And regarding the OP, what kind of timescale do you recommend for his "growing up"?




(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: forced bi - 11/22/2010 11:50:20 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stiv2009
Are we to take it then, that any kind of confusion regarding sexual orientation - is merely a matter of immaturity? And that all mature people by definition have left all that behind? No-one questions their sexuality once they're over thirty?

And regarding the OP, what kind of timescale do you recommend for his "growing up"?

I'm not going to speak for Focus.  Instead, I'm going to address this as someone who enjoys what many people term "forced" bi. 

There is a difference between what could be labeled as confusion about their sexuality and their lack of acceptance of the same.  The latter can be an absolute minefield if someone chooses to engage in this type of play physically and not be ready to handle it mentally or emotionally.  This can result in guilt and self hatred issues if the person can't come to terms with the fact that they wanted or enjoyed a certain sexual act. 

Often, the key word (forced) can cover those who want to engage in a certain play, but have not yet come to the point that they are willing to take the responsibility for their own desires.  For someone like Me who enjoys introducing males to m/m activities, this category of folks are usually the ones that I avoid.  If they should have negative emotions about the scene after the fact, as the "director" they may shift blame to Me, which isn't pretty.  I'm much more likely to engage in such scenes with those who are bi in their own right, have come to the point of acceptance where it is more of an encouraged bi scenario, or those who are engaging in the activity due to obedience.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to stiv2009)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: forced bi - 11/22/2010 11:55:49 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stiv2009

quote:

First you grow up, THEN you access *adult* sites - easy.


Are we to take it then, that any kind of confusion regarding sexual orientation - is merely a matter of immaturity? And that all mature people by definition have left all that behind? No-one questions their sexuality once they're over thirty?

And regarding the OP, what kind of timescale do you recommend for his "growing up"?


We are to take it that this isn't a nanny site; that it's not unreasonable to expect those posing questions on public discussion boards to have some semblance of who tha hell they even are.

You don't go to college to learn the three 'R's...! There, I've given you attention....

Focus.

_____________________________

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Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to stiv2009)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: forced bi - 11/22/2010 12:25:34 PM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		I've got to be straight with ya - there's a voice in my head saying "cool, the dude is bi-curious", which is totally ok by the way. And if on satisfying that curiosity it turns out you like cock then that's totally cool too!

It could be that it's the humiliation that turns you on - I do think that people can enjoy forced bi without necesarily being bi themselves (althoug that little voice does tend to be there in the back of my head singing "bi bi baybeeee" etc).

I have to say though, that I do have a fair bit of support for Focus50's position (not that Focus needs support from anyone!)
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50
You don't go to college to learn the three 'R's...! There, I've given you attention....



And as usual LadyPact has some really sound advice... Don't go nuts rushing into experimentation, make sure that if you do go ahead and scoff some cock (under coercion of course) (albeit coercion that you've specifically asked for) that if you hate it you wont hate yourself, and that if you love it you wont hat yourself either.

Good luck.


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(in reply to Micheald)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: forced bi - 11/22/2010 6:41:20 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

make sure that if you do go ahead and scoff some cock (under coercion of course) (albeit coercion that you've specifically asked for) that if you hate it you wont hate yourself, and that if you love it you wont hat yourself either.



This.

And genuinely ask 'Why does it matter?' - and own the answers that come back.


< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 11/22/2010 7:05:05 PM >

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(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: forced bi - 11/22/2010 6:44:39 PM   
servantforuse


Posts: 6363
Joined: 3/8/2006
Status: offline 		You are probably gay and haven't admitted it yet.

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: forced bi - 11/22/2010 7:08:41 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		Heh. I've known men who've got hung about being gay, then after many years, have come to accept that they're gay and even rejoice in it. Then they've come to notice that they're having disturbingly exciting fantasies about women.

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Profile   Post #: 27
RE: forced bi - 11/23/2010 1:25:15 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Nods.

I wasn't going to mention it for fear of adding to the confusion, but I do have a gay friend who adores "forced-straight"

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Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: forced bi - 11/23/2010 1:34:27 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml

Nods.

I wasn't going to mention it for fear of adding to the confusion, but I do have a gay friend who adores "forced-straight"

Hah! Snap!

(I have several who adore the concept :D)

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Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: forced bi - 11/23/2010 2:37:56 AM   
vancraft


Posts: 71
Joined: 8/4/2010
Status: offline 		i had a fantasy for awhile for good christian girl converting my homo ways when i was younger and identifying as gay.

i see forced: whatever as just a want to explore a place that kinda spooks you out and you want dom's hand through it just incase some baggage, boogieman or unexpected whatever the hell shows up

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: forced bi - 11/23/2010 8:37:49 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline 		It could be that - but I do think the idea of being forced is a sub fantasy in itself. Certainly is for me, anyway.

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(in reply to vancraft)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: forced bi - 11/23/2010 8:50:08 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Forced as a fantasy--given permission as a reality.

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[page 23 girl]



(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: forced bi - 11/23/2010 9:10:39 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I don't know if permission is exactly the way I'd put it, Hib.  For someone like Me who is the person in authority of an obedience dynamic, unless something is specifically on the hard limit list, the decision for a form of play to be engaged in really does belong to Me.  That isn't to say that I'm going to be an idiot insofar as putting people into situations that they can't handle and just hope that I can manage any potential fall out.  I'm going to use My best judgment on the matter on a case by case basis.

As peon mentioned, the "why" is terribly important.  In My opinion, a competent Dominant is going to be having that discussion with the submissive to determine what is behind the why.  She will be basing her decision on that and not just on a whim.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: forced bi - 11/23/2010 2:40:31 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Yes, exactly, LP. Such are the limits of posting from my phone, that I don't give out details! When a dom is telling her sub to do something, she is giving permission, if it's a thing that the sub might not have thought of, or had the nerve to do all on his or her own. "It's okay, I'm doing it because she told me/to please her."

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[page 23 girl]



(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: forced bi - 11/23/2010 7:39:48 PM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Forced as a fantasy--given permission as a reality.


I don't think so, Lady Hib - not in all cases. At the very least, I think that's too simple. Remember my saying recently I that had a hard on while doing fifty press-ups, because a Domme had ordered me to do them? I felt 'forced', then. I can assure you I don't get stiffies from doing press-ups ordinarily.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: forced bi - 11/23/2010 7:42:52 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Doing push ups isn't a taboo activity, either.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: forced bi - 11/23/2010 8:27:04 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		"Please, Mistress Rabbit, don't throw me in that briar patch!" As far as I can tell, most "forced" scenarios are requested by the submissive in question. I find the idea rather unappealing, since the only way I'd be interested in my partner having sex with someone else would be in a poly triad. The "make me do what I want to do but don't want to admit I want" roleplay might be amusing in small doses, but I wouldn't want them following through with someone I and they weren't romantically and emotionally involved with.

(in reply to Micheald)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: forced bi - 11/24/2010 6:48:34 PM   
creampieboi


Posts: 11
Joined: 4/6/2009
Status: offline 		monkey see as monkey do you talk more than you do!!

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: forced bi - 11/24/2010 10:05:05 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Actually, I am in the grow up crowd. You see the OP is forty years old and has been a member of this site for three years and has a friends list double mine. I would think that in forty years, being as well equipped to be all he says he is in his profile and here and not ignorant or able to explore in some fashion even if it is only to chat and read... tells me the ignorance thing in not being able to know what to seek or what he wants in any way that he has to ask strangers to make that call or teach him... is a helpless state he has chosen. Or he just isn't the fast learner he says he is in his profile.

It's just not ringing true to me. There has to be some serious denial going on or something and to be so out of tune with yourself at age forty, says there is a lot more to this story. If the lost is truly lost, I wouldn't think many would take a chance on being involved with him because this signifies to me there is something that is preventing being realistic here. He says he is open minded in his profile. This just isn't adding up. How can someone be so open minded if they are not able to accept themselves? There is some retention there if they can't accept or understand something like this, at this stage of life and all things.


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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to creampieboi)
Profile   Post #: 39
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