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Dear Ex - 11/22/2010 10:11:52 AM

Medic

Posts: 49
Joined: 9/4/2004
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Dear Wife:

     I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 27 years and I have nothing to show for it.
    These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today, and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case, I'm gone.
                                                                              Youe EX-Husband
P.S. Don't try to find me. Your sister Carla and I are moving away to West Virginia together. Have a great life!

Dear Ex-husband:
    Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you and I have been married for 27 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much to drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work.
    I did notice when you got your haircut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was, "you look just like a girl!" Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
    About those new silk boxers; I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them and I prayed it was coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
    After all of this, I still loved you and felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for $10 million, I quit my job and brought us two tickets to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone.
    Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dime from me.
    So take care.
                                                                            Your Ex-Wife
                                                                            Rich as hell and free!
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that's not a problem.

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RE: Dear Ex - 11/22/2010 10:14:11 AM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
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LOL gotta love happy endings.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Medic)

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RE: Dear Ex - 11/22/2010 10:23:28 AM

Medic

Posts: 49
Joined: 9/4/2004
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Seemd like everyone got what they wanted in this one, sorta.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

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RE: Dear Ex - 11/22/2010 4:32:10 PM

ElegantDoll

Posts: 10
Joined: 11/21/2010
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And they all lived happily ever after...well, the wife anyway.

(in reply to Medic)

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RE: Dear Ex - 11/22/2010 8:15:36 PM

StrongSpirit

Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
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Makes me glad to be dominant. No way would I put up with a wife with a) such horrible communication skills , b) so incredibly obnoxious.

Nor would I marry someone stupid enough to believe that his letter could possible have affected the divorce settlement.

As for the idea that they all lived happily ever after, I think only their divorce lawyers are going to end up happy. There is clearly a lot of resentment from both sides and with 10 million at stake, it's going to be a long, drawn out trial with tons of unhappiness.

Right about now, someone is thinking "it's a joke". I'm thinking "not a funny one".

< Message edited by StrongSpirit -- 11/22/2010 8:17:55 PM >

(in reply to ElegantDoll)

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RE: Dear Ex - 11/22/2010 8:23:02 PM

DaddysInkedSlut

Posts: 1837
Joined: 5/14/2010
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I think it is funny and IMO far to many people over think things.

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(in reply to StrongSpirit)

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RE: Dear Ex - 11/22/2010 10:46:41 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

LOL

Hunny was having an affair with the sister and all you can do is complain about the wife?????

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

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Post #: 7

RE: Dear Ex - 11/23/2010 12:12:26 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut

I think it is funny and IMO far to many people over think things.

This.

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to DaddysInkedSlut)

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RE: Dear Ex - 11/23/2010 6:23:40 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrongSpirit

Makes me glad to be dominant. No way would I put up with a wife with a) such horrible communication skills , b) so incredibly obnoxious.

Nor would I marry someone stupid enough to believe that his letter could possible have affected the divorce settlement.

As for the idea that they all lived happily ever after, I think only their divorce lawyers are going to end up happy. There is clearly a lot of resentment from both sides and with 10 million at stake, it's going to be a long, drawn out trial with tons of unhappiness.

Right about now, someone is thinking "it's a joke". I'm thinking "not a funny one".

/Sends a book on humor to StrongSpirit/

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to StrongSpirit)

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