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AquaticSub -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/1/2010 11:00:34 AM)
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ORIGINAL: leadership527
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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Maybe I'm a freak but I really don't get this weight = lack of control/lack of dominance thing. Some guys I like heavy, some guys I don't. Really? I don't believe that. I think you do get it and you just don't agree with it (for the record, neither do I).
If you mean that I understand intellectually that some people judge by that, yes I do. But I don't fundamentally 'get it'.
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Look, let's be serious here. Right off that bat, some women will judge dominance on the basis of freakin wardrobe. So pretty much anything is "in scope" in terms of what constitutes dominance for someone somewhere. I'm sure that a whole raft of women here could tell you what an un-domly hairstyle was. The same is probably true of "self control". They care about it because they care.
I know intellectually that some women do that. I don't get that either.
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Finally, is the rather obvious conclusion that being overweight is mal-adapted in pretty much every way possible.
That's an opinion I just don't share. It depends on the level of their weight and what their doctor says about their health. I know first hand it's entirely possible to be overweight and healthy.
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It's a lot like smoking (note, I struggle with smoking on and off). It'd be a mistake to say that I am generally undisciplined. But it's certainly true to say that I lack self control where nicotine is present. Now, us humans do all sorts of things every day that are sub-optimal and this is no different. But at least some people care about it a great deal. I would totally understand if someone looked at my running battle with nicotine and declared me "undisciplined". What I'd understand is that for them, that's an important thing. What else I understand is that by the numbers, cigarettes are a bad thing. I'm not going to start calling my smoking habit a good thing whether or not I do it. The same is true of obesity -- possibly even more true -- the jury is out on which is more deadly.
As I've stated, I understand that for some it's very important and that for them it's a deal breaker. This makes perfect sense to me. I simply don't understand applying terms to people they haven't spoken with.
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And, finally, from the dom side... the biggest reason I care about Carol's body fat is that I would be an irresponsible owner if I didn't. I care about my own for the same reason. In my eyes, that'd be an awful lot like the guy who goes out and waxes his car every other day till it glows but can't be bothered to take it for it's scheduled maintenance. Taking care of her base mechanics is a part of the deal I signed up for when I took ownership of her. So I educated myself as best I was able (at length) regarding the [physical] care and feeding of humans and now I'm executing to that knowledge. When I signed up to own a human, I signed up for the Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, and Spiritual care and feeding thereof. I expect Carol to do her job to a very high standard of excellence. It's entirely reasonable to expect the same of myself.
Which is all gravy.
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Note. I'm not really trying to support the viewpoint that fat = "no self control". What I'm saying is that it IS a viewpoint that at least some have and it's not that hard to understand the roots of it. Frankly, it's a LOT more understandable than things like wardrobe and hairstyle.
Please show me where I said that it wasn't a viewpoint. I can intellectually understand the roots of it and still not get it Jeff. And I don't get it because, as I mentioned earlier, I have considerable first hand experience with overweight and incredibly in control men.
So yes, I know that it's a deal breaker. I completely understand and get that. I understand that some people apply labels to strangers based on weight just as some people apply labels based on race. But I don't get it. I know it. It just doesn't make sense to me.
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