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leadership527 -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/1/2010 10:48:52 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Maybe I'm a freak but I really don't get this weight = lack of control/lack of dominance thing. Some guys I like heavy, some guys I don't. Really? I don't believe that. I think you do get it and you just don't agree with it (for the record, neither do I). Look, let's be serious here. Right off that bat, some women will judge dominance on the basis of freakin wardrobe. So pretty much anything is "in scope" in terms of what constitutes dominance for someone somewhere. I'm sure that a whole raft of women here could tell you what an un-domly hairstyle was. The same is probably true of "self control". They care about it because they care.
Then, of course, is the tendency to over-generalize. A lack of self-discipline in one area doesn't make for a generally undisciplined person. But people love to make all or nothing, black and white snap judgements.. particularly on the internet and particularly on the internet in BDSM land. This is the land of One True Way. If that weren't so, then people wouldn't constantly be bitching about OTW *laughs*.
Finally, is the rather obvious conclusion that being overweight is mal-adapted in pretty much every way possible. It's a lot like smoking (note, I struggle with smoking on and off). It'd be a mistake to say that I am generally undisciplined. But it's certainly true to say that I lack self control where nicotine is present. Now, us humans do all sorts of things every day that are sub-optimal and this is no different. But at least some people care about it a great deal. I would totally understand if someone looked at my running battle with nicotine and declared me "undisciplined". What I'd understand is that for them, that's an important thing. What else I understand is that by the numbers, cigarettes are a bad thing. I'm not going to start calling my smoking habit a good thing whether or not I do it. The same is true of obesity -- possibly even more true -- the jury is out on which is more deadly. Insofar as being a social detriment, I think cigarettes actually used to be cool and manly so were a plus. That, of course, is changing now and largely being a smoker is a negative. Both traits carry a wide variety of negative incentives attached.
And, finally, from the dom side... the biggest reason I care about Carol's body fat is that I would be an irresponsible owner if I didn't. I care about my own for the same reason. In my eyes, that'd be an awful lot like the guy who goes out and waxes his car every other day till it glows but can't be bothered to take it for it's scheduled maintenance. Taking care of her base mechanics is a part of the deal I signed up for when I took ownership of her. So I educated myself as best I was able (at length) regarding the [physical] care and feeding of humans and now I'm executing to that knowledge. When I signed up to own a human, I signed up for the Physical, Emotional, Intellectual, and Spiritual care and feeding thereof. I expect Carol to do her job to a very high standard of excellence. It's entirely reasonable to expect the same of myself.
Note. I'm not really trying to support the viewpoint that fat = "no self control". What I'm saying is that it IS a viewpoint that at least some have and it's not that hard to understand the roots of it. Frankly, it's a LOT more understandable than things like wardrobe and hairstyle.
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