RE: Weight and Master/Dom control

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (Full Version)

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AquaticSub -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 8:55:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elisabella IMO 'be what you want to be' is better advice, if what a person wants to be is thin and smooth with women, and they're actually fat and awkward with women, what good is 'be yourself' to them? Better to create yourself than just passively be. Ahh... but I've run into so many problems with people trying to 'create themselves'. Usually to get into my pants/a friend's pants. They make every effort to be something that they just aren't. IMHE, at best it ends up with me or the person in question losing respect for the person who maintaining a poor facade and at worst it ends up with a tearful and miserable break-up when the charade can't be maintained any longer. Losing weight, gaining confidence, learning how to talk to women... I fail to see how improving one's skills is different than being true to yourself. Being true doesn't require being stagnate.

SpaceSpank -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 9:03:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elisabella quote: ORIGINAL: SpaceSpank Be yourself, but be the best yourself you can be, don't be what you think everyone and their aunt Petunia wants you to be. Good advice, so long as he's not trying to seduce Aunt Petunia. I'm always confused by this 'be yourself' thing, as if there's some sort of inherent 'self' that isn't dependent on the life choices we make. IMO 'be what you want to be' is better advice, if what a person wants to be is thin and smooth with women, and they're actually fat and awkward with women, what good is 'be yourself' to them? Better to create yourself than just passively be. That, to me, is simply part of being yourself. If a person wants to be thin and smooth with the ladies then they should work towards that. Likewise some people want to be rich more than anything, so they should take action and make choices towards that end. If it is your goal you are working towards, then it's part of being yourself, no matter what your current state is. But what if someone does not want to be a real ladies man, or they don't want to be rich? Should they still work their asses off towards those goals if they hold no interest in them? Many people do exactly that, not because they want to do it, but because that is what they are expected to do. Or in some cases just what they are told they should be doing.

Elisabella -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 9:03:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: Elisabella IMO 'be what you want to be' is better advice, if what a person wants to be is thin and smooth with women, and they're actually fat and awkward with women, what good is 'be yourself' to them? Better to create yourself than just passively be. Ahh... but I've run into so many problems with people trying to 'create themselves'. Usually to get into my pants/a friend's pants. They make every effort to be something that they just aren't. IMHE, at best it ends up with me or the person in question losing respect for the person who maintaining a poor facade and at worst it ends up with a tearful and miserable break-up when the charade can't be maintained any longer. Losing weight, gaining confidence, learning how to talk to women... I fail to see how improving one's skills is different than being true to yourself. Being true doesn't require being stagnate. There's a difference between genuinely changing yourself and maintaining a charade to get into someone's pants.

BonesFromAsh -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 9:06:31 AM)
~fast reply to no one in particular~ I find it interesting that a thread who's basic premise was a theory that a man, in a photo on a profile (which may or may not be current) or a given set of numbers possibily representing a current weight, could be considered fat and therefore unable to show self-control/self-mastery not to mention having the ability to control/master his partner within a relationship, has morphed into a thread about personal preferences (which I think was the actual topic to begin with, btw) and the morality of "health". Yes, people have personal preferences...thank goodness. Yes, people judge "books" by their covers...unfortunately or not depending on who you ask. Yes, if the goal is to fit into society's or a specific group of people's view of what's sexy and desirable instead of focusing on the health and well-being of you as an individual, then a certain amout of "lemming-ness" and "keeping up/copying the Jones' " might be called for. Goodness knows it's what leads some folks down the path of eating disorders or "Biggest Loser" fame...depending on how you look at it. The question is (or so I thought), can a fat guy be dominant?

Elisabella -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 9:30:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SpaceSpank That, to me, is simply part of being yourself. If a person wants to be thin and smooth with the ladies then they should work towards that. Likewise some people want to be rich more than anything, so they should take action and make choices towards that end. If it is your goal you are working towards, then it's part of being yourself, no matter what your current state is. But what if someone does not want to be a real ladies man, or they don't want to be rich? Should they still work their asses off towards those goals if they hold no interest in them? Many people do exactly that, not because they want to do it, but because that is what they are expected to do. Or in some cases just what they are told they should be doing. Of course they shouldn't try to be something that they think they 'should' be, unless being totally 'socially acceptable' and fitting in is important to them. But at the same time things like "But I'd still like to think that my intelligence, sense of humor, personality and whatnot count for something. All too often I'm left feeling as though they don't. :(" shows that there's a disconnect between what he thinks is enough to balance being overweight and what the women he pursues thinks. So there's a choice to make - either become what the women you pursue want, or pursue different women.

jujubeeMB -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 9:36:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh The question is (or so I thought), can a fat guy be dominant? Since I've said my piece about the other stuff (which was absolutely off topic, I'll grant you, though I think it's an important issue), yes, a "fat guy" can be dominant. Obviously. A big part of being dominant - and I think others have said this already - is believing that you deserve what you want when you want it, and overindulgence tends to come with that mindset. So no, there's nothing that says you can't be overweight and dominant.

mnottertail -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 9:38:37 AM)
Agreed, if a fat girl can be submissive, a fat guy can be dominant. It should be noted, that I personally, do not see this as the only combination that could avail itself to the community.

SpaceSpank -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 9:46:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elisabella quote: ORIGINAL: SpaceSpank That, to me, is simply part of being yourself. If a person wants to be thin and smooth with the ladies then they should work towards that. Likewise some people want to be rich more than anything, so they should take action and make choices towards that end. If it is your goal you are working towards, then it's part of being yourself, no matter what your current state is. But what if someone does not want to be a real ladies man, or they don't want to be rich? Should they still work their asses off towards those goals if they hold no interest in them? Many people do exactly that, not because they want to do it, but because that is what they are expected to do. Or in some cases just what they are told they should be doing. Of course they shouldn't try to be something that they think they 'should' be, unless being totally 'socially acceptable' and fitting in is important to them. But at the same time things like "But I'd still like to think that my intelligence, sense of humor, personality and whatnot count for something. All too often I'm left feeling as though they don't. :(" shows that there's a disconnect between what he thinks is enough to balance being overweight and what the women he pursues thinks. So there's a choice to make - either become what the women you pursue want, or pursue different women. While those are valid, there is always the option of working on your own goals and desires, and in general being so confident and self assured of your position in life that you start to attract women who you find appealing and who are also interested in you. It is possible that he has nothing in his life or personality to kick that option into gear, but it's possible he does as well. Only he can take serious stock of where he is at and decide that.

SpaceSpank -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 9:49:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: barelynangel The whole post is within context. Again go back and read the post. I say that line a couple different ways in the whole post all with qualifiers. And those qualifiers are pretty much IF he wants to be accepted and THAT is what is a priority to him. He will have to change to become what the people he wants attention and acceptance from want. Not sit here and demand they give him attention and acceptance simply because he wants it. Again the qualifiers are threw out the whole post. So taking the last line as you have and saying what you have puts a very different spin on what I have said. Don't quote me unless you do so in context that will alleviate your taking things out of context. As intelligent as you believe you are. You should be able to say what you have to say without taking one line from the context of a whole post. Angel Hey, give me some credit, I'm at LEAST as intelligent as the meatloaf that was on sale at my local grocery store last week. And I could certainly have posted that without quoting you, but it still would have been an obvious reply to your statement (as it was your statement that kicked off the idea in my head). Is it simply the fact that you are quoted that is bothersome to you?

BonesFromAsh -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 9:52:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB quote: ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh The question is (or so I thought), can a fat guy be dominant? Since I've said my piece about the other stuff (which was absolutely off topic, I'll grant you, though I think it's an important issue), yes, a "fat guy" can be dominant. Obviously. A big part of being dominant - and I think others have said this already - is believing that you deserve what you want when you want it, and overindulgence tends to come with that mindset. So no, there's nothing that says you can't be overweight and dominant. Agreed...now I'm curious to know if that dominance, or lack thereof, can be determined by a photo or numbers listed on a profile (again, in keeping with the original question.)? Seriously, this is all just personal preference, imo, and can be hashed and rehashed until everyone's fingers go numb from too much typing. If fat doesn't work for you (in general) then avoid it. If it does, go for it. If it doesn't matter either way...cheers! I guess I'm just trying to figure out why there seems to be a need for this to become a preachy thread about weight loss/health/right/wrong. Personal preferences are just that....personal. And with that...I bid adeiu to this thread!

barelynangel -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 9:54:39 AM)
Yes when you quote something and then your response uses that quote out of context of what I said as a whole. I don't believe you'd appreciate people doing that to your posts.

Icarys -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 9:55:51 AM)
Because it's the adult version of high school wrapped up in supposedly, better justifications.[:D]

Icarys -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 9:59:22 AM)
Can he dominate you better at 40lbs overweight compared to 50? How about if he makes $50,000 a year versus a job at McDonald's? lol

barelynangel -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 10:02:55 AM)
The concept isn't deciding if you will be who you are or if you will decide to change for others to accept you. The point is deciding what matters most to you. Being accepted and therefore needing to change to be so or if being who you think is you and therefore shrinking the playing field of who will accept you. The world is full of both types. It's about what is a priority to u. And in the end both are fine to choose if you find fulfillment in your choices. Angel

Elisabella -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 10:04:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: barelynangel The concept isn't deciding if you will be who you are or if you will decide to change for others to accept you. The point is deciding what matters most to you. Being accepted and therefore needing to change to be so or if being who you think is you and therefore shrinking the playing field of who will accept you. The world is full of both types. It's about what is a priority to u. And in the end both are fine to choose if you find fulfillment in your choices. Angel Well said.

Icarys -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 10:22:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: barelynangel The concept isn't deciding if you will be who you are or if you will decide to change for others to accept you. The point is deciding what matters most to you. Being accepted and therefore needing to change to be so or if being who you think is you and therefore shrinking the playing field of who will accept you. The world is full of both types. It's about what is a priority to u. And in the end both are fine to choose if you find fulfillment in your choices. Angel Or it could be about being okay with who you are and how you look and someone accepting you that way. I don't change for someone else or because of someone else. I'm happy being a larger guy and the woman I'd want to be with would be happy being with me that way or skinny if I chose it because she would put more emphasis on things that matter more in life. (As in I find the lack of emotional depth/placing equal or more "weight" to outwardly appearances as shallow. It's actually one of the definitions of shallow..Lacking emotional depth/superficial.) I don't think YOU know what the word means and how it's used. That I was good to her. A good provider. That I showed her love. That we had things in common and looked past or loved the differences about one another. In the end It's not about ability, it's about preference. (Before anyone get's their gina or peni in an uproar..Thinking I think, I'm mister perfect or something...being a little shallow isn't the end of the world. We all have our faults..I'm impatient as hell among other things so I'm not perfect either)

jujubeeMB -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 11:04:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh ...now I'm curious to know if that dominance, or lack thereof, can be determined by a photo or numbers listed on a profile (again, in keeping with the original question.)? I guess I'm just trying to figure out why there seems to be a need for this to become a preachy thread about weight loss/health/right/wrong. In answer to your first question, yes, dominance or lack thereof can be determined by a photo or numbers listed on a profile. Dominance or lack thereof can be determined by anything on earth that the sub doesn't consider dominant. Just as any Dom can look at any sub's profile and decide that she's not submissive because of X trait. And personally, I feel there's always a need for preachy posts about being healthy. It's kind of like preachy posts about not being homophobic. Yeah, they may not be totally on topic, but the only way society is ever going to change is if we keep talking about it.

Icarys -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 11:12:34 AM)
quote: And personally, I feel there's always a need for preachy posts about being healthy. It's kind of like preachy posts about not being homophobic. Yeah, they may not be totally on topic, but the only way society is ever going to change is if we keep talking about it. How about preachy posts about how homosexuals are bad? Not always a good idea to have a preachy post. I'd rather have an "unhealthy" physical slave than an "unhealthy" mental slave as it pertains to bad and overly judgmental attitudes. All kinds of unhealthy available these days.

jujubeeMB -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 11:28:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys I'd rather have an "unhealthy" physical slave than an "unhealthy" mental slave as it pertains to bad and overly judgmental attitudes. Yeah, and I'd rather have neither, which is also an option.

Icarys -> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control (12/3/2010 11:37:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys I'd rather have an "unhealthy" physical slave than an "unhealthy" mental slave as it pertains to bad and overly judgmental attitudes. Yeah, and I'd rather have neither, which is also an option. You might have missed something there.[:D] Can't get perfect though. Either in ourselves or others.

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