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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 11:22:25 AM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		At least most heavy folk can lose weight. Try being male and short.

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 11:30:43 AM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

At least most heavy folk can lose weight. Try being male and short.

So you're overcompensating with the picture then....



(zing)


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 11:57:26 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		i'll share a little story with you folks...go on, sit a spell.  hehe, just kidding...

anywho, there was a man my Master had me serve a couple of years back, almost weekly for nearly a year, who happened to be 6'5" and about 350-360 lbs. a very very big guy...and no, there wasn't much muscle weight there. however believe it or not i still find him sexually appealing, because of his confidence, good nature, and because well i'm a perv and have a thing for being squished. *blush* however as much as i liked him and respected him as a human being, he would never be the type of man i could belong to because he completely lacked dominance. now when some hear that word, dominance, they think of spankings and paddles and whips and chains and such, which of course has nothing to do with the word. by lacking dominance, i mean he was completely non-authoritative and also, more relevant to this discussion, he completely lacked self-discipline and control. he was so heavy not because of medical conditions  (oh he had some, but they were all weight-related), but because he simply loved to eat rich foods in mass quantities, and loathed exercise. during my time with him, if we were not engaging in sexual activity then no more than an hour would go by without him eating, and eating a lot. sometimes i am pretty sure he was even unaware that he was eating, it was almost reflexive. he also lacked discipline and control in other areas of his life...with his wife, who he allowed to relegate him to sleeping in a separate room of the house he had built and paid for, and with friends who regularly held out their hands to him for cash. he was a nice man, but not a dominant man, not a man of authority and control.

and my point in that little tale is this...there's nothing wrong with a submissive woman deciding that she needs a man of authority and control in her life. and there's nothing wrong with noting qualities in men which may indicate a lack of this authority and control, and determining that such men would not be a good fit. yes, in this case in particular, where we are talking about profiles on the internet, it requires making some assumptions, and in doing so some are bound to slip through the cracks. but again, first impressions are important, and we all make assumptions and judgments at times based on those first impressions.

i wonder, if this topic had been about a man's credit score or savings account, would it have gotten the same quantity of negative responses?

< Message edited by daddysprop247 -- 11/30/2010 12:24:41 PM >

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 12:08:35 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
i wonder, if this topic had been about a man's credit score or savings account, would it have gotten the same quantity of negative responses?



For what it's worth I've seen threads on those topics get exactly the same responses. And particularly when the OP was judging by a picture and a profile. I could not, for example, make any judgements on your owner's credit score or savings account by the picture you and yours use.

Athough I suppose you argue that I'm in green based on mine...

(Sorry couldn't help the bad joke - I'm bored off my butt at work)

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/30/2010 12:09:42 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 12:09:03 PM   
SpaceSpank


Posts: 244
Joined: 10/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

th notin
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247


i wonder, if this topic had been about a man's credit score or savings account, would it have gotten the same quantity of negative responses?



I'd hope so, as on it's own it is superficial. Maybe he had a vindictive ex who managed to take him to the cleaners. Or maybe he was laid off for reasons he could not help and wound up in a bad spot.

Would you hold it against a Master if he had shoddy credit (but was working on rebuilding) due to reasons out of his control?

If someone has a set of bad habits leading to this undesired situaion (be it fat or poor) then that hsould become apparent pretty quickly.

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 12:12:10 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		DP you've made an excellent point.

For myself..... self control flows through all aspects of my life. I adore chocolate, but I control/dominate the role it has in my life. I like nice things, things that cost money, but I control how I manage my money. Retirement planning, bill paying, etc.

As a dominant person, a person who's choices directly, or indirectly affect others, I require myself to make responsible choices. Those choices are not always the most fun, or even the choices that would benefit me, myself, the greatest. But what I do make every effort to do, is choose what is right for all. Not just me.

Taking good care of my health, finances, etc......is not only for my personal good, but also for the good of those that count on me in some way.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 12:21:59 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

Hi all. Ok, I'll probably be roasted for this but I would be very interested in you guys opinions.

I've read several Dom profiles and when I see one where they are grossly overweight (or don't give their weight), I question their control over themselves and I question putting myself in their control. Be it a valid theory or just shallow, I don't know.


Greetings annieezz,

Your opinion isn't isolated and it is one I've echoed and others have expressed outwardly and privately. Of course an individual is welcome to articulate whatever preference catches their fancy, but that doesn't absolve outsiders from raising a brow or making note of the disparity or blatant bias in some cases. In the end it comes down to the level of importance one places upon certain factors. I have and will never entertain an individual that cannot maintain control in specific areas of their life, particularly those he would manage on my behalf. That's akin to the blind leading the blind. But for other people it's not an issue at all.

Weight management is a touchy subject and imbalances can be very hard to correct if the individual hasn't ascertained the real reasons behind their condition and the overall payoff in allowing things to remain as is. Losing weight is only half the battle. Adopting new behaviors that allow for long term success and maintenance is necessary. I'm not discounting that the journey is impossible for two committed people to walk hand in hand. However, the likelihood of success is significantly diminished if the controlling element is lackadaisical and fails to provide an example worth emulating.

Namaste,

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to anniezz338)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 12:31:33 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline 		So the conclusion is that fat guys can't be dominant...not real dominants anyway. Got it.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 12:42:19 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

DP you've made an excellent point.

For myself..... self control flows through all aspects of my life. I adore chocolate, but I control/dominate the role it has in my life. I like nice things, things that cost money, but I control how I manage my money. Retirement planning, bill paying, etc.

As a dominant person, a person who's choices directly, or indirectly affect others, I require myself to make responsible choices. Those choices are not always the most fun, or even the choices that would benefit me, myself, the greatest. But what I do make every effort to do, is choose what is right for all. Not just me.

Taking good care of my health, finances, etc......is not only for my personal good, but also for the good of those that count on me in some way.



thanks for hearing me LaTigresse.

"self control flows through all aspects of my life"...you stated it perfectly there. that is what i expect of any dominant person. it's not about perfection, or at least to me it is not...we all have our challenges, struggles and shortcomings, dominants included. however in a dominant i expect to see that insatiable drive to achieve and maintain self-control and discipline throughout their lives.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 12:43:57 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub


Athough I suppose you argue that I'm in green based on mine...

(Sorry couldn't help the bad joke - I'm bored off my butt at work)


it also looks like you are in the red...that's a bad sign the accounting folks tell me!

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 12:45:09 PM   
subkatslut


Posts: 81
Joined: 9/14/2010
Status: offline 		But by your own admission he wasn't a dominant man so why would you belong to him? It wasn't merely because you saw him as lacking self discipline or control in regards to his weight. It was because that was combined with being non-authoritative. He also lacked control in other areas of his life and it sounds like in his niceness also let others take advantage of him. Even if he did have control and self discipline physically he wouldn't be a dominant man so it's like comparing apples to oranges. Right?

Are you saying if your daddy all of a sudden started gaining weight that he would then be incapable of doing what he's done all these years when it comes to you? That he would somehow lose all the ability he once had or that it would change who he is at his core? That somehow his dominance and ability rests solely in his weight? See that's where the logic becomes faulty for me.

I do get what you are saying in terms of first impressions and even assumptions but I simply can't make the jump to seeing someone heavier and it screaming a lack of self discipline which then translates into him not being able to manage me in some way anymore then a profile pic could scream he has out of control finances. Because again this thread, as it was written, wasn't started about preferences but about there being some direct correlation between weight and self discipline and how that translates to an inability in being dominant or better stated being responsible and capable enough for someone else. Many obese men have wives and kids and do just fine in taking care of their families well.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 12:50:47 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub


Athough I suppose you argue that I'm in green based on mine...

(Sorry couldn't help the bad joke - I'm bored off my butt at work)


it also looks like you are in the red...that's a bad sign the accounting folks tell me!




It's just a smudge of ink on the top. Underneath it's all green.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 1:07:32 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

however in a dominant i expect to see that insatiable drive to achieve and maintain self-control and discipline throughout their lives.

If we all have shortcomings then to me that says that we have a lack of control in that area because if you somehow managed to control that part of your life..well you wouldn't have the shortcomings anymore and therefor would be "perfect". We all know that everyone has parts about themselves they don't consider having under control..In other words..shortcomings.

So what I'm gathering is that people are really trying to do is link their wants somehow with their needs for a partner with a very superficially thin string.

Logically speaking of course.

I mean do we as dominants have to have every single thing in life under our power to be appealing? Kinda sounds like a fairy tale/robot like expectation.

Playing Devil's Advocate here.

~FatBastard


< Message edited by Icarys -- 11/30/2010 1:10:19 PM >

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 1:13:09 PM   
takemeforyourown


Posts: 430
Joined: 2/24/2007
Status: offline 		My first Dom was morbidly-obese.  He had just had a 'secret' gastric bypass when I met him.  I loved his dominance but I worried about his health until he admitted that his surgical scars weren't from a ruptured appendix.  It's not the lack of self-control that I think about when I see very obese people, I think more about how they are hurting themselves.  Yet, don't we ALL have our nasty habits?

(in reply to Phoenixpower)
Profile   Post #: 154
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 1:21:39 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline 		Is this really the fatty fatty two by four can't fit your ass through the bakery door, "adult" version?

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to takemeforyourown)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 1:31:34 PM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

however in a dominant i expect to see that insatiable drive to achieve and maintain self-control and discipline throughout their lives.

If we all have shortcomings then to me that says that we have a lack of control in that area because if you somehow managed to control that part of your life..well you wouldn't have the shortcomings anymore and therefor would be "perfect". We all know that everyone has parts about themselves they don't consider having under control..In other words..shortcomings.

So what I'm gathering is that people are really trying to do is link their wants somehow with their needs for a partner with a very superficially thin string.

Logically speaking of course.

I mean do we as dominants have to have every single thing in life under our power to be appealing? Kinda sounds like a fairy tale/robot like expectation.

Playing Devil's Advocate here.

~FatBastard



hey, don't call yourself names!

perhaps i worded myself poorly...by "insatiable drive" i mean that a dominant-natured person is just plain not going to be content when they are in a place in their personal lives when they lack that kind of self-control. mind you, i'm not referring to control over others or the world at large here, but purely control over self. it's possible that my Master could gain 50 pounds (and pls don't let him read that, because he would deny such a possibility to the grave, lol)...theoretically, it's possible. and were to happen he would feel, as he told me last night "totally out of control." and i know that is an intolerable position for dominant-natured folks. therefore, he would be doing everything with his capacity to lose that excess weight so that he could return to a place of control, because that is where he is content and at peace. if someone seems content when such things have gone all awry in their personal life (or maybe they have just given up)...if they are not actively working to overcome...whether that's in weight loss, or gradually paying down debt, or whatever...then yes i would be hard-pressed to find the dominance in such a person.

and again, as submissives many of us seek someone who can lead and direct us, someone we can look up to, someone awe-inspiring. it's a joke to some, but i truly feel privileged just to have the opportunity to kiss my Master's feet. not because i love him, but because i'm just in awe. i revere him. that reverence just couldn't be possible if i had known him as a man who not only didn't have their stuff pretty well together, but who had no drive to ensure it remained that way. does that just make me a bad, bad girl?

(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 1:34:29 PM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: takemeforyourown
Yet, don't we ALL have our nasty habits?

I should bloody well hope so

(in reply to takemeforyourown)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 1:39:35 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

does that just make me a bad, bad girl?

Yes, yes it does and I want to spank you for it.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 1:42:57 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		The position would be intolerable if he valued that 50 pounds above whatever caused him to gain the weight (say the man in question cut his work-out time to spend time with a new child, to take on another job, avoid making an injury worse, etc). The problem is that this assuming that all dominant-oriented men share - or should share - the same set of values in terms of their physical appearance. It also does not acknowledge that a dominant-oriented man can say "All right, I'm overweight. So what?". A man can be in control of their body without insisting on a particular image. I know an extremely dominant overweight Master who has exactly what he wants in life. He sees no need to change, at least in particular hurry for fear of not being seen as dominant.

And the truth, for me, anyway is that our world would be very boring if all the dominant-oriented men had the same value systems. If we didn't have variety. Just because someone's take on their body isn't for a particular s-type doesn't mean that they aren't in control.

Edited to add: I do get wanting to look up to them. I just don't value weight. It means... pretty much nothing to me beyond physical attraction. So I still don't get the premise of the OP - that you can look at a picture and a weight that may or may not be listed and decide that the guy has no self-control and must not be dominant.

Not the d-type for you isn't the same as not a d-type. Hopefully that makes sense.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/30/2010 1:47:56 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 1:48:25 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

At least most heavy folk can lose weight. Try being male and short.

So you're overcompensating with the picture then....



(zing)

Nah, he pic i snarkiness about all the peeps that complain bout cock shots.



(in reply to Icarys)
Profile   Post #: 160
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