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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 10:05:40 PM

pyroaquatic

Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline

Just because some person is a submissive does not mean they cannot have preferences.

If it is not a medically valid condition (over or under active thyroid, etc) then yes I would start questioning my Dominant.

While I do love curves...
hold on... dirty thoughts...
I do not love a poor diet and a lack of excercise (especially if having me means they do not have to get their fat asses up).

it is up to you to tolerate it or not tolerate it.

I weight 125 lbs and most people are disgusted by it. Living skeleton is not a pleasant title and yes I eat protein rich foods and exercise/dance. At either end of the spectrum it can set people off.

Some cannot help their weight.
Some can help their weight but others tolerate their weight (or match their size).

What exactly are you comfortable with?

_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to anniezz338)

Post #: 181

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 11/30/2010 10:10:20 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

Okay, i'm confused by the direction this thread has taken. To me, the original post seems to ask whether being "grossly obese" raises questions about a person's level of self discipline, not their level of attractiveness. i think it does raise questions- just as not having a job would raise questions, not having a bank account would raise questions, not having any friends would raise questions, spending 10 hours a day at a bar, or at the gym, for that matter- would raise questions. i don't say it condemns them. i don't say it automatically indicates addictive behavior or a self discipline problem. i say it raises questions. Or, it would for me.

Now, maybe there is a perfectly reasonable explanation to these questions. Answers such as, i have a thyroid problem, or it's due to genetics, or i'm healthier than you are, just watch me run this marathon punk, or screw you, i just won the Nobel Prize and i don't care what you think of my weight, i have other priorities. Or any of the hundred other reasons already given on this thread for why someone might be "grossly obese" and yet not have a discipline problem. Question answered. That's easy enough. But i think it is a fair question.

To repeat myself, i think we each have the right to decide for ourselves what "self-mastery" really means, and to judge any prospective partner by that criteria. Furthermore, i think we also have the right to judge them based on attractiveness (however it is defined) and any other trait that we consider desirable in a partner (whatever those may be). We all judge others according to what is important to us. Denying someone a job because of race, creed, gender, sexuality, weight, religion, health problems, whatever- that would be wrongful discrimination. But as far as our sexual lives go- i believe we are all entitled to select someone according to our own priorities.

pam

P.S.- You'll notice i said "grossly obese", as the OP does, not "every single obese person". i think that's an important distinction. i'm not sure how she defines "grossly obese". i'm not even sure how i would define it. But to me, the OP doesn't seem to be referring obese people in general.

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 11/30/2010 10:20:09 PM >

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 182

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 12:23:01 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
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When I think of self-mastery, I tend to think in terms of how an individual responds to emotional stressors. When they don't get their way, or have their desires thwarted, do they sulk? Do they drink, or overeat or do drugs to cope? Are they mean spirited? Do they behave in a petty manner over minor issues? How do they treat waitstaff, when the waitstaff spills something? Is a suit more important than a hug from a child with sticky fringers? Is there compassion in their heart? Will they stand up for an injustice? Is there a playful inner child that can respond to my own mischievous nature? If I wrap a rubber band around the spray faucet, will he curse and bitch because he gets drenched when he goes for a drink of water, or will he plan my demise with a tub of cold water and an unexpected dip to wake me up in the early am? A man who can control his temper, not over-react to circumstances, but take control of them - is someone I consider to be dominant and someone who exhibits a desirable expression of self-mastery.

I've been attracted to men of widely different physical appearances, because what I found attractive about them wasn't really in any way based off their physical appearance. I'm not saying I don't see a hot buff young man and think DAAAAAMNNNN that's a hot piece of ass. Of course I do. But looking and appreciatig beauty for its asthetic appeal isn't the same as being ATTRACTED to the person\.

Now, tying this all in with self-mastery and how ones weight might be a factor. I enjoy someone who enjoys good food and good compay. If he's overweight, but functional in his daily activities - I don't consider this an indication of a lack of mastery on his part - just an expression of his priorities. What happens if you choose a man who appears thin and fit, only to find out he's thin because he's a cocaine addict who rarely ever eats? Thin, in this case, is not an indication of self-mastery any more than a man who is overweight has to be a sign of a lack of self-mastery. While a grossly obese individual may raise some questions, as to how they got there, it isn't automatically (to me) an indicator of a lack of self-mastery.

None of these things will present themselves in a photo or a profile. We'll of course weed out those who don't appeal to us on a physical (visceral) level; which is sad really. One of the men I love most in the entire world is someone that had I ran across his picture on an internet sight - I probably would have passed him by without a second glance.

One of the most dominant men I know is overweight bordering on being grossly obese, but something about his demeanor just turned me into a giggling reactionary puddle of quivering nerves. It never occurred to me to question his level of self-mastery.

I don't know. I didn't really intend upon getting all preachy or anything, I just wonder at how many people many are missing out on because they are looking for an the ideal wrapping instead of taking the time to get to know the whole package.

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 183

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 2:05:16 AM

Awareness

Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline

Fast reply.

It's a fair question, but ultimately, no I don't think you can judge with any degree of reliability. Not because of the potential for medical conditions or any of that guacamola. It's simply a case of dominance being something which you either experience with someone or you don't. There are attributes such as self-discipline which contribute toward it, but ultimately dominance is about living in your own reality and imposing that reality upon others.

And yes - I really do mean impose. In any group, the dominant individual imposes their reality upon the rest of the group. You can come up with all the definitions you like of what Dominance means to you, but ultimately it's about the imposition of your will. To use pictures or statistics as a trivial reject does not strike me as advantageous.

You'll work it out via interaction. Email/phone/personal interaction. That's the only guide. Anything else is basically intellectual masturbation.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 184

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 2:23:00 AM

Behness

Posts: 16
Joined: 9/17/2005
Status: offline

Fast reply..
For me personally, I have always asked the same question internally when a morbidly obese man talks to me about me submitting to him.. I just don't understand how someone who can't control and take care of the thing that carries them, the very thing that keeps them going and alive, could take care of a whole another human being. It just doesn't make sense to me.

I don't care about chubby, I don't even care about weight - I care about health. If they have low internal fat (which is the fat covering the organs, and really is the dangerous type of fat to have long term), but are fat on the outside, that's fine by me, because they are healthy. If they have high internal and external fat, then that's not good. Same goes if they have high internal and low external fat - they just aren't healthy.

And I don't understand why so many people take it personally. I understand fully that some people are incapable of exercising due to physical problems, but you can cut back your caloric intake so you lose weight (and while there are a few diseases that mess up your metabolism so much that it is near impossible to lose weight without starvation, the majority of people are stuck mentally and have willingly given up the control they have over their body weight, and just use a variety of excuses as to why they can't shift the weight). And if you really don't want to do that, to me it begs the question of why. Why would you put your health, your life at risk for something fleeting like taste? And why would I want to submit to someone who would rather spend a short lifetime eating too much than a long one of high quality, although they might not be able to have their nightly binge on chocolate cake?

End of the day I don't equate body weight with Self Mastery. However, I do equate the amount of care someone takes towards their health with their ability to Master themselves. And, sadly, body weight is a generally a good visual indicator of someone's health, even though it may be wrong in some cases for other reasons.
Also, I would like to add that my ideals probably have something to do with the fact that I am young as well, and I'm not trying to speak for people who are older and are looking for a different sort of relationship to me. It all depends on the person and what they search for.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 185

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 3:21:18 AM

BonesFromAsh

Posts: 1362
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

To repeat myself, i think we each have the right to decide for ourselves what "self-mastery" really means, and to judge any prospective partner by that criteria. Furthermore, i think we also have the right to judge them based on attractiveness (however it is defined) and any other trait that we consider desirable in a partner (whatever those may be). We all judge others according to what is important to us. Denying someone a job because of race, creed, gender, sexuality, weight, religion, health problems, whatever- that would be wrongful discrimination. But as far as our sexual lives go- i believe we are all entitled to select someone according to our own priorities.

I agree with the quote above and the bolded part in particular. What I, personally, question in regards to the OP and the original post is this line...

quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338
I've read several Dom profiles and when I see one where they are grossly overweight (or don't give their weight), I question their control over themselves and I question putting myself in their control.

...combined with this from another of the OP's posts...

quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338
No, weight doesn't make the Master/Dom. But I feel it's an ingredient, especially if the overweight is just sheer neglect. If he chooses to be obese, then it probably just wouldn't work for me. I've got 40lbs left to go myself. I can't be around someone eating twinkies and rocky road ice cream watching tv every night....lol. I would really enjoy an active man.

...and this...

quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338
I just need some awesome Dom to cure me of my evil drive-thru ways :P

...and this...

quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338
Point blank, when wannabe's and wankers are brought up, I think of some overweight men I have chatted to online. They can't get a date anywhere else so they present themselves as Masters/Doms. I may have little experience, it's true, but it comes out in their behavior when you start talking to them. I've been looking into this stuff for about a year now. I can start ticking off the names of who I would consider true Masters/Doms in CM....and I bet I would get alot of agreements. I can tell at least a general difference. And there is alot of them (no not all overweight).....lol.

...and finally this from the OP...

quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338
Nope, haven't met a one of them, much less scened with any.

Yes, I am basing it on what I am reading on here, and the correlation in other forums and the Doms I have been fortunate to meet. And I see where you are going with this and I'm not going to split hairs on it. Why do you think I ask so many questions?

My reason for offering all these examples is because I'm trying to get to what might be the point the OP was making and where she might be coming from.
What I saw when this thread started was someone who was choosing to judge a person's ability to control or master others based on his physical appearance in a profile photo which may or may not be a recent representation of that individual or numbers typed on a profile that may or may not be a recent representation of that person. Judging a person's ability to master or control another individual without meeting them in person and based soley on a photo or listed weight seems limiting, to say the least. If it works for the OP and others, fine, but to paint a picture with such a "fat" brush seems...well, shallow. Which, ironically, is what the OP said in the original post. If shallow works for her, fine, but don't expect it to work for everyone.

Having personal preferences is totally acceptable and expected, imo. However, the OP asked for opinions on her thought patterns in regards to dominance/self-mastery/weight, which she recieved. One thing you're not going to find a lack of on CM is opinions.

You, in a general sense, may or may not agree with the comments on this thread (goodness knows I sure don't agree with all of them), but they're opinions nonetheless.

FWIW.... After looking up the definition of "gross obesity", it seems to be defined as weighing more than twice your ideal weight or being more than 100 pounds overweight. I'd be curious to know if that definition is what the OP was going by when she posted her original question.

Yep...nothin' like a fat thread!

< Message edited by BonesFromAsh -- 12/1/2010 3:40:54 AM >

(in reply to gungadin09)

Post #: 186

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 4:48:37 AM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

What I, personally, question in regards to the OP and the original post is this line...

quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338
I've read several Dom profiles and when I see one where they are grossly overweight (or don't give their weight), I question their control over themselves and I question putting myself in their control.

That is a strong judgement to make, especially basing it soley off a profile. But i think we all make irrational judgements, especially on CM where we are often obliged to screen users without having many facts to go on. Personally, i discard anyone whose screen name i don't like, which seems just as irrational and unfair as doing it based on weight. "suckmydickbitch" may be a perfectly nice guy, not a creep at all, who just happened to choose the wrong user name. But, in most cases, i wouldn't bother to engage him in a nice lengthy discussion and give him the chance to prove that. We all make superficial judgements sometimes, especially here on a website where it's often not possible to make any other sort of judgement.

...combined with this from another of the OP's posts...

quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338
No, weight doesn't make the Master/Dom. But I feel it's an ingredient, especially if the overweight is just sheer neglect. If he chooses to be obese, then it probably just wouldn't work for me. I've got 40lbs left to go myself. I can't be around someone eating twinkies and rocky road ice cream watching tv every night....lol. I would really enjoy an active man.

If we're talking gross obesity (100+ pounds overweight), and
If it were proven to be from sheer neglect, and
If it were truly due to a "choice" to be that obese, and not from any other reason, and
If there were no mitigating factors (like the person didn't go to the gym because he was too busy curing cancer, deworming orphans in Somalia, or recovering from an injury, whatever...)
...then it would be an "ingredient" for me too, i think. It would not be the "whole enchilada"- (i.e.- it wouldn't automatically condemn a person if i ever met them and got the chance to know them), but it would be an "ingredient". Like i said, it would "raise questions".

...and this...

quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338
I just need some awesome Dom to cure me of my evil drive-thru ways :P

i took this as a joke. But, i need to eat less junk food too. We could probably all say that, regardless of weight.

...and this...

quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338
Point blank, when wannabe's and wankers are brought up, I think of some overweight men I have chatted to online. They can't get a date anywhere else so they present themselves as Masters/Doms. I may have little experience, it's true, but it comes out in their behavior when you start talking to them. I've been looking into this stuff for about a year now. I can start ticking off the names of who I would consider true Masters/Doms in CM....and I bet I would get alot of agreements. I can tell at least a general difference. And there is alot of them (no not all overweight).....lol.

i think this is a pretty ignorant and prejudiced statement. But she is entitled to her opinion.

...and finally this from the OP...

quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338
Nope, haven't met a one of them, much less scened with any.

Yes, I am basing it on what I am reading on here, and the correlation in other forums and the Doms I have been fortunate to meet. And I see where you are going with this and I'm not going to split hairs on it. Why do you think I ask so many questions?

i think it's always alright to ask questions, especially for someone who's very new to all this (like myself). If the question is stupid, then the answers will reflect that. Posters aren't obliged to be polite or patient when they answer, but she had the right to pose the question.

My reason for offering all these examples is because I'm trying to get to what might be the point the OP was making and where she might be coming from.
What I saw when this thread started was someone who was choosing to judge a person's ability to control or master others based on his physical appearance in a profile photo which may or may not be a recent representation of that individual or numbers typed on a profile that may or may not be a recent representation of that person. Judging a person's ability to master or control another individual without meeting them in person and based soley on a photo or listed weight seems limiting, to say the least. If it works for the OP and others, fine, but to paint a picture with such a "fat" brush seems...well, shallow. Which, ironically, is what the OP said in the original post. If shallow works for her, fine, but don't expect it to work for everyone.
i don't think she does expect it to work for everyone. i think she is merely offering her opinion which, however controversial, she has every right to give.

Having personal preferences is totally acceptable and expected, imo. However, the OP asked for opinions on her thought patterns in regards to dominance/self-mastery/weight, which she recieved. One thing you're not going to find a lack of on CM is opinions. You, in a general sense, may or may not agree with the comments on this thread (goodness knows I sure don't agree with all of them), but they're opinions nonetheless.
Yes. i'm sorry if i was overly sensitive or gave the impression that everyone on the forum is not equally entitled to have their opinion about her opinion. This is a forum. That's what we're here for.

FWIW.... After looking up the definition of "gross obesity", it seems to be defined as weighing more than twice your ideal weight or being more than 100 pounds overweight. I'd be curious to know if that definition is what the OP was going by when she posted her original question.
i don't know

Yep...nothin' like a fat thread!
Still, i prefer it to a whining thread.

pam

P.S.- BonesFromAsh: thanks for the feedback.

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 12/1/2010 5:31:27 AM >

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

Post #: 187

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 5:08:04 AM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

It was just a joke William. I know you didn't mean short in that way..You were talking about height I believe and not length.

Hell, Icarys, I'm an incurable smartass and make no bones about it. If I cant deal with what I dish out, then I have a problem eh?

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 188

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 6:17:48 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

Hell, Icarys, I'm an incurable smartass and make no bones about it. If I cant deal with what I dish out, then I have a problem eh?

Oh I definitely agree if it's well intended. Most of my life I've been around hard-nosed but good people and most of the time we just gave each other shit, ya know? Well pretty much whoever was around us as well and it's just been the way I am for a long time.

It's sometimes a little hard to tell my kind of humor though, online.

< Message edited by Icarys -- 12/1/2010 6:18:47 AM >

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 189

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 8:01:41 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Behness

...
Also, I would like to add that my ideals probably have something to do with the fact that I am young as well, and I'm not trying to speak for people who are older and are looking for a different sort of relationship to me. It all depends on the person and what they search for.

I think this is VERY valid! Whether it is done consciously or not, I do believe that subtle physical indicators do play a large part in forming the chemical reactions people respond to when searching for a 'mate' when younger.

(in reply to Behness)

Post #: 190

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 9:29:00 AM

Atropos19

Posts: 56
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

So here's a question... what about a smoker? They're still guilty of addictive/compulsive behavior, behavior that is damaging to their (and in this case, others') health. Would you question whether a man (or woman, for that matter) was capable of being dominant based purely on that fact?

I actually remember having a conversation about this with a girl, many years ago. She was a smoker who insulted me for being fat, and I basically said... look, if you were a health nut or something I could maybe respect your position, but you're not taking any better care of your health than I am (and you're actually endangering other people's health to boot). Where do you get off passing judgment on me? Her reply, and I quote, was "I've never not gotten a date because I smoke."

It's one thing, as many others have said, to have preferences for a romantic/sexual partner based on physical attractiveness. But what I'm trying to say is,

A) Those preferences should be tempered at least *somewhat* by a more complete appraisal of the person's character, rather than being used as an excuse to automatically reject (or, for that matter, make sweeping assumptions about) that person out of hand; and

B) I think that a lot of double standards do exist. I'm willing to bet, for instance, that a lot of people who look at the profile of an overweight person and think, "This person can't take care of himself, so how can he possibly take care of me," would not necessarily *automatically* make that assumption about someone who was a smoker, or for that matter displayed any number of other unhealthy behaviors.

< Message edited by Atropos19 -- 12/1/2010 9:31:01 AM >

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 191

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 9:29:38 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: Behness

...
Also, I would like to add that my ideals probably have something to do with the fact that I am young as well, and I'm not trying to speak for people who are older and are looking for a different sort of relationship to me. It all depends on the person and what they search for.

I think this is VERY valid! Whether it is done consciously or not, I do believe that subtle physical indicators do play a large part in forming the chemical reactions people respond to when searching for a 'mate' when younger.

Whereas the heaviest man I ever dated was when we were both 16. He was about 190 (I'm guessing - it was years ago and I never cared so I never asked), very strong but overweight and could wrestle me and put me in a headlock faster than anyone I've known. I was about 140 - all muscle, I looked 120 - and positively adored him because of his attitude and - mock me if you must - his scent.

Maybe I'm a freak but I really don't get this weight = lack of control/lack of dominance thing. Some guys I like heavy, some guys I don't.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 12/1/2010 9:31:21 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 192

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 9:47:22 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

his scent.

Bacon? (I must)

And was this you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CErapf79rqM

< Message edited by Icarys -- 12/1/2010 9:49:17 AM >

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 193

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 9:53:15 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

his scent.

Bacon? (I must)

And was this you?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CErapf79rqM

*snickers* No. It definitely wasn't bacon. It was a warm, incredibly masculine scent. A little musky in the good way - like colognes only he had it naturally. When I got close to him and snuggled up, it stayed on me for a little while and his arms were warm. He was overweight but solid so his entire frame just seemed to overpower me... He would just tell me when it was time for a kiss and pull me in...

Mmmm..... happy memories.

Of course he had to ruin it by dumping me and jerking my emotions around and making me cry. But hey... we were 16.

(And no... I don't beg for bacon. I beg for latkes.

)

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 12/1/2010 9:54:09 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 194

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 10:12:29 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

I know what you mean.

One of my exes used to sleep with her face stuck in my armpit. I'd smile big when I would wake and see her like that. Nose and head pushed up in my armpit. lol

She'd tell me the same thing..She like the way I smelled. None of my other mates have ever said that.

That may be about the person smelling too. I'm a smell-er myself so I have noticed what your talking about with women I've dated as well..some of them just smelt wonderful..it was intoxicating even..I'm talking non-sexual places here! Big believer in pheromones and the effects of.

Certain perfumes can cause erotic responses from me as well.

Awkward moment: There was this lady in church that wore the most delicious perfume..I wasn't the slightest bit attracted to her but when she walked by with this perfume on..well...The lights were on in Georgia..If you know what I mean.

That was a little disturbing to say the least in the given environment.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 195

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 10:12:47 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Whereas the heaviest man I ever dated was when we were both 16. He was about 190 (I'm guessing - it was years ago and I never cared so I never asked), very strong but overweight and could wrestle me and put me in a headlock faster than anyone I've known. I was about 140 - all muscle, I looked 120 - and positively adored him because of his attitude and - mock me if you must - his scent.

Maybe I'm a freak but I really don't get this weight = lack of control/lack of dominance thing. Some guys I like heavy, some guys I don't.

Yep, that's why I said subtle physical indicators:) I wasn't even referring to weight, but can see where the reference to the OP makes it seem as if I was.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 196

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 10:20:02 AM

anniezz338

Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline

Ok then, so far I have been called a judgemental cunt, a whore, stupid, a fat bitch, and all the other crap I'm not going to bother looking back for. Here's judgemental for you.

Bones, your weight isn't posted. I got your number. If you spent the time you did giving your opinion on this thread and instead got on a treadmill, you might not be so bitter. You protest too much to be valid.

Aquaticsub, if you are at work being PAID to work, maybe you should work instead of playing some kind of popularity contest. If I was your manager, I would kick your ass to the curb so hard, your fat ass would bounce all the way across the street.

Icarys, your an ass but your hot.

OMG...was I judgemental?!? Where's my 45...I'm going to blow my brains out....I'm not worthy.

You guys have a great day :)

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 197

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 10:22:38 AM

Atropos19

Posts: 56
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

There's the annie I know and love. :)

Well, love, anyway.

For what it's worth, I never meant to imply that you were judgmental, a whore, a fat bitch, etc. I was just trying to express my own feelings and frustrations about what it's like to be on the other side of the fat suit, as it were (LoL). I generally tend to avoid addressing my posts toward specific members; instead I prefer to just try and challenge what seems to be the prevailing attitude. In this thread it seems to be a tug of war between "overweight folks can't control themselves and should be judged harshly," and "it may not be their fault, so have a heart, eh?"

I fall somewhere in the middle, I think. I acknowledge that my weight problem is more or less my own fault and my own issue, while at the same time believing that it doesn't represent the "end all and be all" of who I am. I think I have a lot to offer as a partner and a human being apart from the fact that I happen to be heavyset. But I all too often feel as though, in many cases, my weight is the only thing that gets taken into consideration... or at least, that it's assigned a level of importance that is wildly out of proportion to my other attributes.

< Message edited by Atropos19 -- 12/1/2010 10:28:22 AM >

(in reply to anniezz338)

Post #: 198

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 10:31:29 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

Aquaticsub, if you are at work being PAID to work, maybe you should work instead of playing some kind of popularity contest. If I was your manager, I would kick your ass to the curb so hard, your fat ass would bounce all the way across the street.

Awww.... you're so cute when you assume things and it makes you look... well... silly.

I am the manager sucker. I work at a dying store where my job is to sit around and wait for customers to come in, if they come in. I've already put away our inventory, priced, vacuumed, taught and helped several customers. When they come in I can do this really cool thing - it's called close the laptop and put it under the counter! Think you can handle that concept? Then when they are gone, I come back and finish the post I was working on.

Le gasp!

Guess what the store owner does? Plays Call of Duty.

Do you feel better now that you've lashed out at someone who didn't call you names and, in fact, defended you on other threads but simply questioned your premise?

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 12/1/2010 10:35:21 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to anniezz338)

Post #: 199

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/1/2010 10:33:19 AM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

Ok then, so far I have been called a judgemental cunt, a whore, stupid, a fat bitch, and all the other crap I'm not going to bother looking back for. Here's judgemental for you.

Bones, your weight isn't posted. I got your number. If you spent the time you did giving your opinion on this thread and instead got on a treadmill, you might not be so bitter. You protest too much to be valid.

Aquaticsub, if you are at work being PAID to work, maybe you should work instead of playing some kind of popularity contest. If I was your manager, I would kick your ass to the curb so hard, your fat ass would bounce all the way across the street.

Icarys, your an ass but your hot.

OMG...was I judgemental?!? Where's my 45...I'm going to blow my brains out....I'm not worthy.

You guys have a great day :)

Here would be a perfect example, in reference to my own post, of a lack of self-mastery....

I guess I'll have to re-read the posts because I never saw the words cunt or stupid or whore or fat bitch. These sound more like inner demons spewing forth, and for that I feel very bad for you.

WinD

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 12/1/2010 10:34:10 AM >

(in reply to anniezz338)

Post #: 200

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