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What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 8:16:38 AM   
yellowroses


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/12/2009
Status: offline 		I was reading another thread and if got me thinking. What have you done or has your submissive done that has earned them/you a punishment? I am not talking "fun"ishment here.

For example, I forgot to __________ so I received a spanking/cornertime/isolation.

Thank you in adavance!

yellowroses
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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 9:02:52 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		why do you wish to know?

(in reply to yellowroses)
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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 9:04:48 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

why do you wish to know?


Curiosity?

What did I win?

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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 9:16:06 AM   
yellowroses


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/12/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

why do you wish to know?


@daddysprop247-My inquiry is because of another thread that I was reading about punishment.

In the almost 10 years that I have been with my husband I have never been punished. I really don't think that I have done anything worthy of a punishment really. I was curious just as RapierFugue said. Curious what constitutes a punishmet for others.

I am NOT perfect and I do forget things from time to time. I am much harder on myself then my husband would ever be. I suppose punishment is just not part of our dynamic.

yellowroses

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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 9:18:07 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I actually don't punish for mistakes.  I only punish for what is best termed 'willful disobedience'.  Not accidents, not things that were out of his control, and not issues that haven't come up prior where I haven't specifically communicated what is expected.  Stupid stuff like overcooking the eggs or not being able to pick up the dry cleaning because of a traffic issue don't qualify.  I'm more reasonable than that.

My disciplinary procedure is very much what many folks would expect to experience in their employment.  Minor infractions are usually situations where I will go back, make sure that My expectations are known and reaffirm that My policy is understood.  Just like at your job, there are certain infractions that are considered major that I won't tolerate being violated even once. 


_____________________________

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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 9:24:20 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Honest mistakes are not punishable in my relationship.  We talk about what happened and why, and how to correct it going forward.

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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 9:24:37 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		I have punished for misrepresenting/lying to me, and for not showing me respect, such as criticizing my actions in an IM chat. These actions have led to breaking the relationship.

Minor offenses include not obeying direct commands.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 9:24:41 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I actually don't punish for mistakes.  I only punish for what is best termed 'willful disobedience'.  Not accidents, not things that were out of his control, and not issues that haven't come up prior where I haven't specifically communicated what is expected.  Stupid stuff like overcooking the eggs or not being able to pick up the dry cleaning because of a traffic issue don't qualify.  I'm more reasonable than that.


That's pretty much my stance - a genuine mistake is a mistake. Someone doing something through direct disobedience or unpleasantness I'd view much more harshly.

Although, thinking about it, I don't usually class it as a "mistake" when it's down to carelessness or being inattentive.

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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 9:27:20 AM   
Buzzzz


Posts: 839
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline 		I rarely punish.. Mistakes are totally human (I make plenty of them)...If an order has been given and agreed and not been followed without any valid excuses (shit happens in life), then yes, punishment... The one I use for a big infraction is no contact with me (It is very hard on both of us, because we kinda love eachother).. No call, txt, physical contact , nothing for a certain amount of time... It feels that I am also punishing myself (not seeing her) and she knows that very well...

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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 9:30:21 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		yellowroses, i just saw the other thread and figured it out. thanks for indulging me though, sometimes i get suspicous, sorry, lol.

like yourself i've been with my Master for 10 years. however i have been punished many, many times. maybe i'm just a terrible slave? lol. nah, i know i'm not so bad...but my Master is fairly strict, and he does punish for honest mistakes and not simply disobedience. especially in the beginning of our relationship, when i was new to everything and was still trying to find my way, i made small mistakes quite a bit, or forgot certain things, etc. He dealt with those mistakes swiftly and harshly, because it's part of the habit/lesson being instilled. today he is not nearly as strict as he used to be, but then i don't make nearly the mistakes i used to. i have not been punished in a very long time, and hope to avoid facing another one at all costs.

and btw, just because i am punished does not mean we do not talk and problem solve like adults. it all works together in this household.

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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 9:34:41 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		My Husband punishes me when i disrespect Him or when i am demanding or annoying

It all depends on His own mood as to how much of my behaviour He can take and how He decides to put me back on track

Since we have decided this was a good way for us to interact our relationship has become much better

ETA obviously Master Husband is at times annoying too... hardly ever disrespectful or demanding really... i think He is naturally more polite than me... anyway of course i can not punish Him when He is awful... i have to skilfully manipulate Him into a better mood ... very tricky sometimes and patience is needed.

< Message edited by ranja -- 11/29/2010 9:39:24 AM >

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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 9:41:14 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja
or annoying

Oh yes, punish that. I usually go for crucifixion*

*if it's a first offence

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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 9:44:25 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven


Minor offenses include not obeying direct commands.



direct disobedience is a minor offense? wow.

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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 10:03:02 AM   
yellowroses


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/12/2009
Status: offline 		@daddyprop247-No problem about being suspicous. I totally understand. Also, I am sure that you are not a terrible slave.

As for the other responses, it sounds like everyone has a dynamic that works for them.

My husband has never been on the strict side but his word is final on all matters. I have expressed my opinion when I think he is incorrect and only rarely has he made an error in his decisions.

I sometimes wonder what it would be like if he was more strict or if we should do punishments for infractions. But I suppose we would have to come up with a list of rules first. I can't really break any rules if there aren't any. LOL

Thank you everyone for indulging me!

yellowroses

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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 10:11:04 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yellowroses

I was reading another thread and if got me thinking. What have you done or has your submissive done that has earned them/you a punishment? I am not talking "fun"ishment here.

For example, I forgot to __________ so I received a spanking/cornertime/isolation.

Thank you in adavance!


I loathe punishment but see it as an important part of my D/s dynamic. Like LadyPact, I don't punish for mistakes or forgetfulness etc - or anything else I'm likely to occasionally do myself. IE, the girl's allowed to be human....

Disrespect, brattiness, inappropriate behaviour etc is the kind of thing the girl will get disciplined for. Something that stings - a sharp butt or thigh slap or a tweak of those female bits ideal for gripping. Or just "the stare" - that has its own way of stinging a submissive, too.

Punishment is serious stuff. It's not easy to achieve but her doing something that actually makes me angry will draw punishment. And I reeeeeally don't like being angry...! For that, she gets denied attention. So I usually frog-march her to a corner where she stays for the duration it takes me to cool down - maybe half an hour and affectively punishing *both* of us, hence the reason I hate it.

The sadist in me tends to enjoy the opportunity to discipline her. Pulling her up onto her toes with a pinch of pubes to enquire about poorly chosen words is a personal favourite. The logic being that I'm quite tall and that perhaps I didn't hear her properly and she needs to get closer.... However, if she overdid it to a point I feel she's manipulating me for attention (even when she knows it'll sting), then that'd likely make me angry - and, welllll, you get the idea....

Focus.

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Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 11:14:20 AM   
SerapaBlue


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/22/2010
Status: offline 		How do you kinda love someone? Isn't that like being a little pregnant?

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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 12:10:49 PM   
submitting4U


Posts: 64
Joined: 8/16/2010
Status: offline 		As a submissive, when I've been punished I can say it was usually from prior incidents that led the dom/domina to believe it was time to create a boundary or to make a point of who is in charge. The latest infraction usually was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. Therefore, the punishments seemed out of proportion to the offense but I usually knew there was a history behind the anger. These punishments involved corporal beatings and typically public humiliations, like severe face slapping in a public venue, a single tail whipping at a friend's back yard party in front of vanilla guests, and toilet degradation witnessed by her friends who were aghast by the scene. In some ways I did provoke it and subs usually do this with some consciousness to complete their underlying schema, namely that they are less worthy and in need of punishment to feel "OK".

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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 12:42:25 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yellowroses

I was reading another thread and if got me thinking. What have you done or has your submissive done that has earned them/you a punishment? I am not talking "fun"ishment here.

For example, I forgot to __________ so I received a spanking/cornertime/isolation.

Thank you in adavance!

yellowroses
I don't punish for honest mistakes.  We are human and they are going to occur...on my side as well as hers.  Minor infractions...simple discourtesy out of carelessness, not thinking before acting or speaking...especially when they know they themselves would not like it if I acted or spoke in a similar manner...etc., will draw discipline.  More serious issues such as a lack of communication will result in serious conversation and correction.  Direct disobedience or willful misbehavior or lying will draw punishment. Trying to deliberately hurt me emotionally will draw punishment. 

I HATE to punish.  I would much rather impose discipline and communicate through things.  But sometimes, it does have to happen.

< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 11/29/2010 12:47:54 PM >

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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 1:09:43 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		<<< Thanks the powers that be, that she was born a natural dominant person and since her whole life was one mistake after another (I'm admitting nothing here!)... mostly with dominant men and well... shopping trips with wayward submissive's... hope that the other dominant's don't want to kick her ass and can't because she is of course born naturally a dominant woman! 

Seriously though, I don't like a punishment dynamic and although I have had to correct a behavior, I do not like that I must. My punishments are rarely forgotten even years later because I can be especially evil in finding something they will remember and truly wouldn't expect. lol I am not punishing to punish really, but to make a point and teach a lesson we can eventually laugh about later. If I have to punish more than a couple times, I figure there is something very wrong and we are most likely not a very good fit as we are coming from very different places and our expectations are very different.

Some love to misbehave thinking it is fun to be punished, but I just call that drama I don't need to live with. I don't think it is fun at all, but will make the best of it if it happens rarely. I think that if we are coming from the same place in things, they punish themselves more than I could anyway. My punishment on top of that would be unjust in this scenario. I would only need to discuss it with them and show bounderies and structure, discuss the lesson and just get on with things so that we don't dwell in that place too long. Time to get to the fun stuff.

Edit: I forgot the reasons I might use punishment. Not doing what they know they ought to do in a way that has a huge effect upon us or the relationship or when I say enough and they continue. Key words in my world are 'Now' and 'Enough'. You miss those words and go on about whatever you are doing, you most likely will find that nothing you can say will change the fact that you disrespected both of us and the relationship and I will most likely not punish you and keep you, you are most likely out the door.

Any lesson I know is clear or should be, that isn't listened to... could be a reason for punishment because that is a willful choice and action.


< Message edited by Lockit -- 11/29/2010 1:21:51 PM >

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RE: What mistakes do you make and get punished for? - 11/29/2010 2:27:49 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yellowroses

I was reading another thread and if got me thinking. What have you done or has your submissive done that has earned them/you a punishment? I am not talking "fun"ishment here.

For example, I forgot to __________ so I received a spanking/cornertime/isolation.

Thank you in adavance!

yellowroses


I lied, I was cold caned 200 times. It's happened twice in all the years I've been his. Both times were horrendous.

There are other occasions but they aren't punishments , they're penalties.For example, I've agreed to go to the gym 3 times a week, if I miss a session, then a penalty will apply and it won't be a nice little bum warming.

agirl

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