Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (Full Version)

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HisManegirl -> Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/1/2010 7:20:56 PM)

i am a sub and i am very new to the lifestyle. my Dom is a Daddy Dom which i believe is a gentler Dom compared to the other types I have read about. i am asking this question because I admit I could be wrong and would like to understand what causes a man to choose to be a Daddy Dom VS a Master or a Dom. i would also like to know if Doms often change their preference for their role or may have more than one slave or sub that they treat differently under different roles. Thank You!



Hillwilliam -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/1/2010 8:34:41 PM)

Every one is different. I cant pigeonhole myself. There is some Daddy to me, a tiny bit of sadist. Some master. I agree with Goreans on a few things and I'm probably not all that unusual. face it, if there were only 3 or 4 discrete kinds of Doms, a sub's search would be a hell of a lot easier .

Same goes for types of subs. Theyre all different.

Vive la difference.



Kana -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/1/2010 8:47:40 PM)

Hmmm, I prefer to think of myself as an absolute tyrant with a predilection for occasional moments of benevolence.

Otherwise, fuck titles and labels. They limit. They create boxes. They are the products of small minds.
Like most, I am a mixture of things, some light, some grey, a whole lotta dark, whatever.
I'm Kana. That's enough for me.
Now, the lilone, she calls me Master, and occasionally Sir, but that's far more her choice than any personal preference on my part.

And no, I don't shift roles. Why?

My teachers would kill me, but I'm gonna cite Wiki:
"Integrity is a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations and outcomes. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the quality of having an intuitive sense of honesty and truthfulness in regard to the motivations for one's actions. Integrity can be regarded as the opposite of hypocrisy in that it regards internal consistency as a virtue, and suggests that parties holding apparently conflicting values should account for the discrepancy or alter their beliefs. The word "integrity" stems from the Latin adjective integer (whole, complete). In this context, integrity is the inner sense of "wholeness" deriving from qualities such as honesty and consistency of character. As such, one may judge that others "have integrity" to the extent that one judges whether they behave according to the values, beliefs and principles they claim to hold."



DarkSteven -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/1/2010 9:56:20 PM)

You don't "choose" your role.  You be yourself and see which box that fills.



HisManegirl -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/1/2010 10:18:12 PM)

quote:

Kana

And no, I don't shift roles. Why?


I was wondering if a different personality or boundaries in a sub/slave would bring out a different aspect of your personality. Since all subs/slaves are different, wouldn't that come into play with how you Dominated them if you had a strong connection with them? Or would you just automatically move on to the one that was a match to your previous style. Also I could understand a Dom that is learning may try out different roles to see what fits them.



Plasticine -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/1/2010 10:56:58 PM)

I'm finding that different subs bring distinctly different things out of me. If that helps.



Awareness -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/1/2010 11:07:10 PM)

  Dom Pérignon.



WolfyMontgomery -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/2/2010 3:40:29 AM)

Just like how labels aren't often a perfect and singular fit on people in ordinary life, while they can describe someone in a general sense (such as learning about a person you just met, if he presents the label "Daddy Dom" to you one can often figure that at least a good portion of his personality fits that description), when one gets down to the semantics labels are only skin deep - rely on them alone and you can never figure out a person fully.

I liken them to those baseball caps with "#1Dad" or "BaseBall" or something on it - you can tell that the person likes being a parent or likes sports, but there's a MOUNTAIN of other things you don't know, and it's obvious that whatever is written on that hat is all the person is comprised of. The hat's useful for learning something about them that can be a conversation starter, but think of how much extra person is underneath that hat that doesn't have words on it that you gotta find out yourself ;)

Master is in many was a Daddy-type Dom, very nurturing, caring, not to mention spoiling me rotten and keeping me in line much like a father would to a child (heck, we sometimes joke about him being "Daddy" too), but at the same time he is also a Master, and his demeanor about unquestionable obedience (with the occasional prank, since he likes pun(fun)ishment - but even those tend to be hiding the fact that I actually DID obey him, harhar) is clear and expected. He owns me and takes care of me such, as property. It doesn't take a different person to bring out his different actions (whether he wants to cuddle and feed me chocolate or grab my hair, drag me to the bed going "MINE"), so much as depending on his moods and the environment we are currently in.

It's like DarkSteven said - though I think there are way more than just one box in your closet that you can fill ;)



KatyLied -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/2/2010 4:46:01 AM)

quote:

would like to understand what causes a man to choose to be a Daddy Dom VS a Master or a Dom.


I would prefer he not "choose" a type, but decide to be authentic and true to who he is, regardless of a label.  I would like this part of him to be strong enough not to be influenced by the type of submissive he is with, but to be ingrained in his being.



OsideGirl -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/2/2010 7:19:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisManegirl

 my Dom is a Daddy Dom which i believe is a gentler Dom compared to the other types I have read about.
Master is a Daddy Dom without the age play....and he's known to be a hardcore sadist in our area. Blows that theory, doesn't it?



Kana -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/2/2010 7:27:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisManegirl

quote:

Kana

And no, I don't shift roles. Why?


I was wondering if a different personality or boundaries in a sub/slave would bring out a different aspect of your personality.


Every relationship has it's own dynamic, rooted in the personalities of the parties involved, the way said personalities react. Now, there are guys/gals/doms/tops that try and do a one set of rules fits all situations/people, but I ain't one of them. I'd rather let the interaction flow and see where it goes-it seems to allow for a lot more openness and let the relationship grow and prosper as opposed to being limited, wilting and dying.
Grins, as for bringing out aspects of my personality, I would hope that I bring all of me into all of my relationships. Course, I gots lots and lots of personality and tons to spare.
She may not enjoy some of the particular aspects of my psyche, but hey, that's too bad for her. She is a slave, or a potential slave so my sympathies are limited.

"Since all subs/slaves are different, wouldn't that come into play with how you Dominated them if you had a strong connection with them?"

Yep. I don't play with any two the same way, ever.

"Or would you just automatically move on to the one that was a match to your previous style."

Nope. See comments above re growth. The three things that I always demand are serve, please and obey...and I demand a certain minimal level of respect (like don't cuss at me, that's a big no-no), but those things are pretty much a given. I've also found that things I greatly enjoyed with one party I don't necessarily enjoy with another so I try and enter each new situation with an open mind and few preconceived ideas.

"Also I could understand a Dom that is learning may try out different roles to see what fits them."

I agree with this. It's kinda like the first year or so in college when ya take lots of general classes seeing what strikes your fancy until ya find what fits.


Edited to add that I hate the quote function.



mnottertail -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/2/2010 7:36:57 AM)

I AM ALL THINGS TO ALL SLAVES.

You wanna suck daddies dick?
You wanna suck masters dick?
You wanna suck your doms dick?

Its like they hear in all languages at once when I say it.


(actually this is a thread that LRODDIE should be on)



leadership527 -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/2/2010 8:41:11 AM)

I honestly don't have a clue what sort of dom I am. I don't fit into any of the neat little BDSM stereotypes very well. I'm a guy who loves his wife, enjoys being the lead in our marriage, and thinks that owning a human if done right is a wonderful thing. I'm more focused on us than her or I.

Some might call that a Daddy Dom if they looked at the love and softness. Some might call me a master if they looked at the TPE part. Some might simply call it a "male" if they looked at the lack of BDSM-ey things.

I can't see myself changing my preference for my "role" WITH CAROL. It's not really a role. It's just the Jeff that happens around her. I expect our marriage (and my part in it) to morph over time, but not in dramatic ways. Who I would be with someone else is entirely unknown to me. I'd be whoever I was with them. Honestly, perhaps that'd mean I'm they're slave? Who can know until the actual situation comes up?

In the end, I'm not attached to roles. Nor am I attached to power. I'm attached to being intimate and being happy. Accordingly, I'd be whatever I thought best to be intimately happy with someone.



LaTigresse -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/2/2010 8:43:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisManegirl

i am a sub and i am very new to the lifestyle. my Dom is a Daddy Dom which i believe is a gentler Dom compared to the other types I have read about. i am asking this question because I admit I could be wrong and would like to understand what causes a man to choose to be a Daddy Dom VS a Master or a Dom. i would also like to know if Doms often change their preference for their role or may have more than one slave or sub that they treat differently under different roles. Thank You!


No role, just me. What 'me' is, is going to depend upon who you ask and how they view me, and how we relate to one another.



AnimusRex -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/2/2010 9:11:35 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
Some might call that a Daddy Dom if they looked at the love and softness. Some might call me a master if they looked at the TPE part. Some might simply call it a "male" if they looked at the lack of BDSM-ey things.


Pretty much this.

quote:

ORIGINAL: HisManegirl

I was wondering if a different personality or boundaries in a sub/slave would bring out a different aspect of your personality. Since all subs/slaves are different, wouldn't that come into play with how you Dominated them if you had a strong connection with them?


And you put your finger on it- different partners do bring out different aspects of my personality; like others have suggested, we have different facets to our sexual/ personality makeup, and react differently depending on the chemistry involved.



Arpig -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/2/2010 10:07:30 AM)

~FR~
None of the above



lovingpet -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/2/2010 10:09:11 AM)

Not only does a certain person bring out certain traits in their partner, but even certain moments, activities, etc.  There is not a more tender daddy-type in all the world than there is when my partner is settling me in for the night.  At the same time, he is hard and just down right frighteningly yummy when I am helplessly tied and he has those nasty canes in his hands.  Still at other times, all other aspects of who he is shines out over the others.  Every once in a blue moon I even know that he's *gasp* human!  The honorifics we use are terms of endearment.  They certainly don't incorporate the entire package. 

lovingpet



HisManegirl -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/2/2010 6:07:53 PM)

I see nothing in BDSM is cut and dry, there are so many variances in all aspects of the lifestyle. That's what makes it interesting to me and obviously allows for more of a connection between two people as there is so much to experience if you have an open mind. I also love the importance of communication that I see is stressed so much, which allows the connection many people in vanilla relationships long for but I think out of boredom it doesn't exist. I appreciate everyone's responses!



KatyLied -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/2/2010 6:30:59 PM)

Actually people in vanilla relationships also communicate at high levels.  You may be shocked to know that they also have long and healthy relationships.  Being kinky isn't that special.



leadership527 -> RE: Daddy Dom, Master, Dom Which R U and why? (12/2/2010 6:41:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
Actually people in vanilla relationships also communicate at high levels.  You may be shocked to know that they also have long and healthy relationships.  Being kinky isn't that special.
NO WAY! Vanilla people form happy relationships? You'd think that'd be impossible given their crappy sex lives. Sheez, whodathunkit?

*chuckles*



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