RE: is it gold digging if...

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MissAsylum -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/5/2010 5:17:16 PM)
i hate to make this a matter of race, but that's what i comes down to when the subject of pricing comes into it. dominican, african-american, and caucasian hair, such as mine, is far from easy to deal with. it takes a particularly skilled hand to be able to just comb through my hair without breaking the brush and/or taking a chunk of my hair out, let alone style and color it. so 100 every 2 weeks is fairly cheap for me. end of thread derail quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum I second this. I WISH that was all I paid to get my hair done. Shop around. My grandmother did hair professionally for most of her life so my Mother and I have certain expectations for when we get our hair done. Still, I've found that if I poke around and call the various hair places - keep in mind I'm doing it knowing exactly what products I want used and specifically inquiring what they use and how much they charge for it - I can keep my bill around 70 or 80 or a cut and color with processing and a HD developer that adds to the price. I like my color to be intense...[:)] I used to pay a lot more till my favorite hairdresser skipped town and I got wise to price doesn't equal a good result as I had to salon hop till I found someone else! [:D] Depending on what she is actually getting done (she didn't say), how smart she is being with her salon selection and her location... 50 can go a long way.

pahunkboy -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/5/2010 5:23:45 PM)
^ I had not considered that. Makes sense to me.

AquaticSub -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/5/2010 5:24:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum i hate to make this a matter of race, but that's what i comes down to when the subject of pricing comes into it. dominican, african-american, and caucasian hair, such as mine, is far from easy to deal with. it takes a particularly skilled hand to be able to just comb through my hair without breaking the brush and/or taking a chunk of my hair out, let alone style and color it. so 100 every 2 weeks is fairly cheap for me. Interesting. Those aren't the prices I'm used to hearing from the women I used to work with and their hair always seemed perfectly done to me. Perhaps different prices in different areas. shrugs

MissAsylum -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/5/2010 5:37:55 PM)
i imagine that is the case. i lived in Manhattan for 8 months. i got the same thing i get done now, but the total amount was enough to have my mercedes paid off by now. shudders quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum i hate to make this a matter of race, but that's what i comes down to when the subject of pricing comes into it. dominican, african-american, and caucasian hair, such as mine, is far from easy to deal with. it takes a particularly skilled hand to be able to just comb through my hair without breaking the brush and/or taking a chunk of my hair out, let alone style and color it. so 100 every 2 weeks is fairly cheap for me. Interesting. Those aren't the prices I'm used to hearing from the women I used to work with and their hair always seemed perfectly done to me. Perhaps different prices in different areas. shrugs

AquaticSub -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/5/2010 5:56:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissAsylum i imagine that is the case. i lived in Manhattan for 8 months. i got the same thing i get done now, but the total amount was enough to have my mercedes paid off by now. shudders ... I feel for you. I really do. I fear ever moving to a place like that because I'm so damn picky about my hair - I really go in with a list of specific products I want used. The first hairdresser that I used would regale me with the horror stories about prices in places like Miami. And how he used to have to fix what the really pricey places screwed up. shudders

MissAsylum -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/5/2010 6:12:42 PM)
i know how that is. first haircut and colour in manhattan, took half of the time i was there to grow it out. serves me right for going to an "upscale" salon. the woman decided to give me platinum blonde highlights and a purple-ish red base with too short bangs, despite saying i wanted a scarlet shade to match what i had and a trim. i was enraged. so i spent 7 months hoofing it to brooklyn to get corrective coloring and extensions. i could cry thinking back on it.

AquaticSub -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/5/2010 6:19:31 PM)
Oh no! shudders So far the worst that has happened to me personally (well that made me mad) was being out a hundred bucks and a stylist ruining my vibrant color by making it a brown-red. Even though I brought in pictures of me wearing the color, told them what brand and specific color dye had been used and brought in the reference material that my original stylist had. I think mine only cost me about 150 in corrections because, once I found a woman who could what I wanted, I had to keep dying it a lot more frequently as the brown faded out. sends Internet hugs for past hair trauma! [:)]

MissAsylum -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/5/2010 7:07:41 PM)
i'd rather have that happen. i looked like a freaking clown.

AquaticSub -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/5/2010 7:09:02 PM)
Awww.... I doubt you looked like a clown. And if you, by some insane chance, did I'm sure you took the clown look to couture standards. [:)]

MissAsylum -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/5/2010 7:40:49 PM)
damn it aqua! stop making me smile. quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub Awww.... I doubt you looked like a clown. And if you, by some insane chance, did I'm sure you took the clown look to couture standards. [:)]

AquaticSub -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/5/2010 7:47:14 PM)
Nu! I refuse! You'll have to beat me! [:D] (Holy crap - I think this is a win-win...I make a pretty woman smile and get beaten by her! Woot!)

Phoenixpower -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/5/2010 7:47:38 PM)
If thats what he wants you to do to please him then it is only fair enough for him to pay for it...after all it is what he wants, so why should you pay for it when you consider yourself to be fine without it anyway (apart from not being able to afford it). My ex was heavily into stockings and I was pretty much on the opposit end of the financial side and he made sure to buy me the ones he liked when we went out in town....again, why should I pay for those when I personally couldn't care less about stockings.

CountrySong -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/5/2010 10:05:05 PM)
thishereboi - Just for clarification, exactly how many ladies have you met on here? Face to face well over 50 as I used to go to the large bdsm clubs in this area. (Unfortunately 2 got shut down and I moved too far from the largest one for it to be easy to get to.) Online well over 250. WolfyMontgomery - And honestly, does no one believe that keeping home ISN'T a job?! It amazes me how often people forget how much work is put into taking care of your home. I don't - I've done it professionally while taking care of the diabled and I've also cleaned homes professionally. 2 bedroom home fully cleaned, all the laundry, dishes with out a dishwasher, 3 cooked meals a day, and assist them with hygiene and clothing - 2 hours to 3 hours a day. You can cetainly make it longer by creating "busy" work but in reality it really does not take that much time. Relatives have maid who come over twice a week for about 4 hours and the 3 bedroom home stays clean and that is with little ones and dogs running around. Toppingfrmbottom - and any one who dared suggest to me if I was the sole person maintaining the home, or hell even doing most it alone, it was just "busy work" and not that time consuming would be cooking and cleaning his own damned meals and washing his own laundry. Like I said "busy work" pretty much that entire post. As for cooking my own damb meals and washing my own laundry. I did that yesterday (plus swept the kitchen floor, bathroom floor and vacumed my room.). Total time invested one hour and about fourty-five minutes and that was because the dryer does not dry fast anymore and you have to run it for two cycles. If you don't have all that time to waist then you figure out ways to do things faster. I know a couple of women who cook twice a month and make meals that they can freeze and thaw or nuke later. They also have enough clothes so they can do then only twice a months and they are all machine washable. Basically, their house, laundry, and food gets done twice a month. They both hold mid-level corporate jobs and have kids. As for hair care - if my woman was spending enough to pay for a luxury car on her hair then she would get tied up and lose it and have to grow it back out. No f-ing way I'm working one or two days of my time to cover the cost of her hair! Having said that - I would spend $300 to $500 on a nice set of thigh high leather boots as part of our play gear every year or so. But they would last for years and be resoled and rehealed when needed so the cost per year would actually be fairly low. But to each his own. My bottom line goal is financial freedom so that I have the time and money to be with the beings I love and do the things I love to do. The things I love are not - taking care of a home and being a wage slave (though I do enjoy cooking). I would rather be making love or walking on a beach or riding a horse or doing a lifestyle scene. Almost every decision I make is based on - does this take me closer to the things that really make me happy or farther away and because of that I have partial financial freedom and can afford to have a partner that I support and we play together. I think that anyman who works 40 to 60 hours a day so the little woman can stay home or do her hair needs to take a long hard look at his values and the things that make him happy. I have no problem having her stay at home but it will be work at home where she either supports my business or has one of her own. We work six months and travel and play for six months. That is how I have it almost set up now. Eventually the goal is - The 4 Hour Work Week. (A great book which I highly recommend to everyone.)

tazzygirl -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/5/2010 10:11:19 PM)
quote: Basically, their house, laundry, and food gets done twice a month. They both hold mid-level corporate jobs and have kids. Then the kids are cleaning the house. quote: I don't - I've done it professionally while taking care of the diabled and I've also cleaned homes professionally. 2 bedroom home fully cleaned, all the laundry, dishes with out a dishwasher, 3 cooked meals a day, and assist them with hygiene and clothing - 2 hours to 3 hours a day. You can cetainly make it longer by creating "busy" work but in reality it really does not take that much time. Relatives have maid who come over twice a week for about 4 hours and the 3 bedroom home stays clean and that is with little ones and dogs running around. Depending on the disability, there would be very little to do to begin with. Someone physically disabled would not make much of a mess. Someone mentally disabled may not as well. You cannot clean a home, 2 bedrooms and every other room, no matter how good you are, completely in 2 - 3 hours and give a disabled person a bath/shower and attend to all their hygeine needs. The bath or shower alone would take an hour, unless all you are giving is a sponge bath. quote: I did that yesterday (plus swept the kitchen floor, bathroom floor and vacumed my room.). Total time invested one hour and about fourty-five minutes and that was because the dryer does not dry fast anymore and you have to run it for two cycles. That time is more like it... when you live alone and you are the only one, Add one more person, and the time increases. I dont consider a home cleaned until the floors are mopped, the baseboards scrubbed, the cabinets wiped.... when i clean, i even clean walls. Molly Maids wont do that in just a few hours.

LadyConstanze -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/6/2010 5:36:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee If it was me as a guy living off whatever you make as a woman, would you be ok with that? I don't see the issue as long as both parties are happy with it. Screw tradition - house husbands are amazing. Long as it works... what's the problem? Really? Has any woman here been the sole breadwinner for years AND been happy doing it? I very, very much doubt it. Yep, previous relationship, didn't bother me and in fact actually worked out a lot cheaper than having a cleaner, laundry service, kennels and dog walker, eating in restaurants, etc. At the time I had an extremely stressful job, worked away a lot, my ex went back to university to pick up more qualifications, so had no problem with him being the house husband, doing the shopping, washing, cleaning and caring for the pets. As I said, in the end it was much much cheaper this way and a better quality of life. Why should he have busted his butt to get another job next to university and I would have needed a cleaner, a minder for the dog, a laundry service, would have eaten out more as I often didn't have time to do the shopping... Why do you think it's such a big deal? Check the calendar, 21st century, forget about those traditional old roles, a lot of women outearn their spouses.

LadyConstanze -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/6/2010 6:03:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee Indeed. While I appreciate the link, it's no real surprise to me. Deep down (in places women don't like to talk about at parties!) no woman wants to be the lone burden-bearer, even high-earners. It's almost a taboo topic in our society, something we all know deep down but don't want to talk about, or even think about. I see keeping the house clean as a job, as I said in a previous relationship I was spending a lot of time away from home, last thing you want to do if you get back from a flight is sort out pesky domestic things and start hoovering, washing and ironing your clothes, running off to the kennel to get the dog back, I actually was quite happy enjoying the spare time I had and possibly preparing for the meeting that followed the trip, keeping deadlines, etc. In my current relationship, we both work, luckily both work mainly from our home offices but sometimes we're both away for a week or two, luckily most of the time not at the same time. Because we both don't like housework all that much we have a cleaner, in both we are gone at the same time for a business trip - kennels £50 a day, cattery £70 a day (£35 each), boarding of pet rat in the pet store £7.50 a day, plus tons of additional shots from the vet that most kennels/catteries demand, our cleaner is nice enough that in such instances she will also make sure the fridge is full when we get home, but we pay for the time it takes her to do the shopping (which is fair) £10 per hour. In case I would make considerably more than my partner and my work would change so that I would travel more, I would have no issue if he'd stay at home. So if I'd be away for 2 weeks a month, I'd pay almost £2K out of my salary, if I had a guy who makes less than 2K a month, we'd be saving money if he'd stay at home plus our quality of life would be better, the pets will be happier... Seriously, if somebody is willing to accept a worse quality of life on account of having "traditional roles" - great for them, but I'd still consider that stupid, I'd rather give £1000 to my other half and spend the other 1K to repay the mortgage quicker and if would tell me that he's not manly for being a househusband, I'd go "And why should your opinion phase me in the slightest?" and just to piss them off lie through my teeth and say "And he has a massive cock and is an animal in bed!" especially to a guy, because nothing shuts them up quicker! HA

DesFIP -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/6/2010 8:59:34 AM)
CS. I don't see any mention there of major meals. Meaning baking and complicated dishes. Plus having someone who has done all that for you so you don't have to come home after ten hours commuting and working to then do the grocery shopping, do the laundry, check homework, pack lunches, etc. It's less stressful to come home and have all that scut work done. When was the last time you baked a birthday cake, decorated to match a kid's interests? Sure you can buy one but is that the same? And going to the grocery store twice a month doesn't give you the quality of food that going to the farm stands does. Does a pumpkin pie made with a refrigerated crust and canned filling compare to entirely scratch made? Not to my palate. Is running a sponge mop over the floor the same as getting down with a scrub brush? Not here. I can see the difference.

Jaybeee -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/6/2010 12:00:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: Jaybeee If it was me as a guy living off whatever you make as a woman, would you be ok with that? I don't see the issue as long as both parties are happy with it. Screw tradition - house husbands are amazing. Long as it works... what's the problem? Really? Has any woman here been the sole breadwinner for years AND been happy doing it? I very, very much doubt it. Yep, previous relationship, didn't bother me and in fact actually worked out a lot cheaper than having a cleaner, laundry service, kennels and dog walker, eating in restaurants, etc. At the time I had an extremely stressful job, worked away a lot, my ex went back to university to pick up more qualifications, so had no problem with him being the house husband, doing the shopping, washing, cleaning and caring for the pets. As I said, in the end it was much much cheaper this way and a better quality of life. Why should he have busted his butt to get another job next to university and I would have needed a cleaner, a minder for the dog, a laundry service, would have eaten out more as I often didn't have time to do the shopping... Why do you think it's such a big deal? Check the calendar, 21st century, forget about those traditional old roles, a lot of women outearn their spouses. From what I've read from you on these fora, I can well believe YOU, individually, would be ok with supporting a man for the long haul. That is a compliment, as I doubt, from all the hundreds of women teeming this site, I'd need more than one hand's fingers to count those who share the trait. That puts you in a rather elite club, kudos. It's almost 2011, and I can do better than to suggest consulting a calendar. Try the ONS (Office of National Stats), they'll confirm that only 8% of wives outearn their husbands. So much for "equality".

LadyConstanze -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/6/2010 1:04:47 PM)
That is because of the glass ceiling that is still there and sorry to say so, the UK being incredibly backwards in that respect. Also a lot of women stay home to raise kids, which throws them back in the career ladder... I don't have kids and always have been a workaholic, I'd go nuts being a housewife, apart from that when I do housework I actually make a bigger mess and disaster than it was before. I never saw the relationship as me supporting the guy, he was doing his part and I was doing mine, what counted was that we both benefited from it and had a better life. I would have a problem supporting a guy who's too lazy to work and just ends up laying on the sofa, absolutely, but I'm simply absolutely useless when it comes to cleaning, so if somebody does that task for me, I'm grateful and I like a clean house. It's a rather important task that adds to the quality of life, and in the end we want that and if we can get it, what difference does it make if it is "traditional" or not?

Jaybeee -> RE: is it gold digging if... (12/6/2010 1:59:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze That is because of the glass ceiling that is still there and sorry to say so, the UK being incredibly backwards in that respect. Also a lot of women stay home to raise kids, which throws them back in the career ladder... I don't have kids and always have been a workaholic, I'd go nuts being a housewife, apart from that when I do housework I actually make a bigger mess and disaster than it was before. I never saw the relationship as me supporting the guy, he was doing his part and I was doing mine, what counted was that we both benefited from it and had a better life. I would have a problem supporting a guy who's too lazy to work and just ends up laying on the sofa, absolutely, but I'm simply absolutely useless when it comes to cleaning, so if somebody does that task for me, I'm grateful and I like a clean house. It's a rather important task that adds to the quality of life, and in the end we want that and if we can get it, what difference does it make if it is "traditional" or not? Well you've got to do what makes YOU happy. Whilst I agree with you about children being a hindrance to women's "careers" there are no glass ceilings in most workplaces. I've consulted to dozens of companies and most female employees, regardless of whether or not they have kids, simply don't have your appetite for performance at work. There are a few I've met (and 2 I worked FOR) who gained enormous respect from me for their assiduousness and work ethic. But they were very much the exception, not the rule. Like I (may have) said, I personally wouldn't object to being a househusband if she refused to give up her job and could easily support us both, but yes, it's a boring life and people who lead them become bores. I never want that!!

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