RE: Bdsm is wrong

RE: Bdsm is wrong (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/7/2010 9:31:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LanceHughes LadyP; You're welcome. Let 'em wave the SSC banner. Makes WIITWD more socially acceptable. People <straights / vanillas inc.> say, "Oh, well. IF you're doing that, then that's okay. I can support that." Meanwhile, that support gives the RACK players an effective cover. Some nice articles exist about how SSC is too sanitized, too tame, etc. Just read some a day or two ago. Forgot links.... left as a exercise for the student,. But, SHHHHHhhhhh! Let 'em be.... 'tis an advantage unto us. We might have read the same material. If so, I can tell you that those writings were a contributing factor in My preference to identify as a RACK player, rather than SSC. I find the former to be much more accurate.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 3:58:50 AM)
I don't do either one. I just DO. Fuck em if they can't take a joke. Seriously. And I haven't needed more than a band-aid in the last 20 yrs.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 4:04:51 AM)
I don't find SSC too sanitized, I just find it isn't the right label and misleading, not much we do is really safe, I rather have somebody who's risk aware and knows what they are getting into it, than thinking it's all safe.

crazyml -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 4:48:33 AM)
~FR~ Personally speaking I think that the distinction between SSC and RACK is pretty moot. People have different definitions of "Safe" - So one person's "safe" may not be another's, just has they have different standards for "risk aware" - Both imply some value judgement about what the risks are, and how safe something is. The Sane in SSC is fairly redundant from an ethical/legal perspective - Since "Consent" depends on sanity. And they both agree on "Consent" so there's no difference there. So I personally think they're interchangeable. just sayin.

GreedyTop -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 4:57:20 AM)
ML.. my experince has been that SSC players are generally less willing to do extreme play (breathplay, etc), whilst RACK players will do it.. for whatever reason.. disclaimer these have been MY experiences only, and I am certainly not speaking for anyone else in either the SSC or RACK schools of thought!

crazyml -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 5:06:25 AM)
Ello GT! Oh, I definitely perceive a difference between the people that use the terms - and I ought to have acknowledged that when I posted. My experience is similar to yours - people who identify as "RACK" tend to (I say "tend to" rather than "always") be more willing to be a little edgy. So my point is really about me being pedantic about meaning and grammar. And, I hope you don't mind - I'll be borrowing your excellent disclaimer for a second ;-) these have been MY experiences only, and I am certainly not speaking for anyone else in either the SSC or RACK schools of thought!

GreedyTop -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 5:23:27 AM)
of course I dont mind!!

steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 9:33:37 AM)
You seem quite angry to me, do you want to talka bout it? quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 Have to go now guys, i'll try get back later ion and answer and unresolved questions, there's always a lot of anger when something is pointed out to someone, so dont worry i'm not offended take care. Why? Is your dominant mother sending you to bed? Is that why you have a problem with dominant women? Early experiences and growing up suppressed and then finding an article that is badly written and hardly researched and taking it as the gospel? I think you should take your medication, and why would I be worried if you're offended? Do you honestly think I'm angry? I find you amusing, but then I also find Jerry Springer amusing in a sad way, I think anybody who takes you or Springer seriously has possibly a rather limited IQ. Hey, you could always go to church and pray for us, because what we do is terribly wrong, and we're having so much fun!

steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 9:34:55 AM)
I've never been divorced. People seem very keen to put me down but has anyone ever been brave enough to get help? quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail He's also been divorced like six times........Hey, I ain't no fuckin day at the beach but....I would think a relationship guru could hang on to a skank for more than a couple weeks, just with bullshit and lies (I know I could). Just sayin'

mnottertail -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 9:43:11 AM)
The guy with the relationship books was divorced six times. You havent even reached puberty yet. You seem to be the only one scared of getting help, the majority of the world is getting along fairly well without your 1930's DSM and bullshit about psychology PhDs and innane and untutored statements.

steve2011 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 9:55:47 AM)
Its no surprise you have got depression, depression is caused by de-pressed emotion's, people with de-pressed emotions often use stuff to block them out and bdsm is one of those things, similar to alcohol, drugs etc, if you can udnerstand this, you'd be well on your way to freeing yourself from de-pression. good luck buddy quote: ORIGINAL: LanceHughes quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 quote: ORIGINAL: DesFIP We should be taught not to need what we need? By the same standard, homosexual children should be taught to change. Or not? Bdsm isn't the same as homosexuality. If some is homosexual that is just who they are, if a man is submissive, he can learn to be strong and change, it won't be easy but its the same with de-pressed people, its caused by a de-pressing of emotions. Steve.... please tell us the University at which you are earning your PhD im Psychology. I'd sure like to be able to avoid any and all people who have been educated to believe that all depressions are cognitive based. There are many posters (and I sure plenty of lurkers) who have been diagnosed with clinical depression - myself among those - that have found relief through chemical means. Again, just WhereTF are you getting your degree? <oh wait, when I type it that way, I know the answer - UOS - University of Online Sales, er..... Studies. $100 for a BS, $200 for an MS and $300 for Piled Higher and Deeper.>

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 9:56:15 AM)
Steve, the title of your OP says "BDSM is wrong" and you quote some vague article with no actual reference. May I ask what you're doing here? Everyone can agree to disagree but you can't argue with a troll. It's been proven time and time again within the annals of the forums. So please take a long walk off a short pier and disappear into the realm from which you came. Or your mother's basement, whichever came first. [&:] **THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT**we now return you to our regularly scheduled program.

mnottertail -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 10:00:52 AM)
LOL. Depressed has elevated itself to such a state that it hasn't needed any sort of fucking hyphen for lo, 500 years, thank you very much. You should have known that even if you only currently possess the baccalaureate, or even made it out of highschool. And Dr Phil, psychologists other than he and possibly Fraiser Crane do not under any circumstances diagnose on the weight of the internet forums. Your slips, both freudian and otherwise are exposed constantly. UDNERSTAND? (LOL)

LadyConstanze -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 10:18:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear Steve, the title of your OP says "BDSM is wrong" and you quote some vague article with no actual reference. May I ask what you're doing here? Everyone can agree to disagree but you can't argue with a troll. It's been proven time and time again within the annals of the forums. So please take a long walk off a short pier and disappear into the realm from which you came. Or your mother's basement, whichever came first. [&:] **THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT**we now return you to our regularly scheduled program. Me thinks somebody kicked his soap box from under him at Speakers' Corner, or it's just too cold there right now, so he's bugging us....

LadyPact -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 10:44:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crazyml Ello GT! Oh, I definitely perceive a difference between the people that use the terms - and I ought to have acknowledged that when I posted. My experience is similar to yours - people who identify as "RACK" tend to (I say "tend to" rather than "always") be more willing to be a little edgy. So my point is really about me being pedantic about meaning and grammar. And, I hope you don't mind - I'll be borrowing your excellent disclaimer for a second ;-) these have been MY experiences only, and I am certainly not speaking for anyone else in either the SSC or RACK schools of thought! I tend to agree with this to a certain extent, which is why I lean toward the technical difference. I find the terminology to be more accurate for one rather than the other. Let's say I do a cutting. I wear gloves, clean the area on the skin, use a sterilized scalpel, and take every precaution that I possibly can to minimize the potential for infection or accident. That is reducing the risk, but it's not completely eliminated. In no way can I make the play completely 'safe'. The best thing I can do is minimize the risk. Being aware of those risks is also key for Me. In fact, I'm of the belief that one can't exist without the other. If I'm not aware of the potential risks, I'm not going to be nearly as competent in reducing them. Just the same way as I feel bottoms should be aware of the risks involved for them to be able to adequately consent.

sexyred1 -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 10:46:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MisterMonster quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus quote: ORIGINAL: MisterMonster Now I remember I don't post in threads like these too often. Sooo much reading! Ok, let's talk about something that REALLY matters: Godzilla vs. Cloverfield Monster. Who would win? Whoa. Tough one. Sentiment says Godzilla, common sense says Cloverfield because that dude is INSANE! Mademoiselle, I no longer prefer your company. I challenge you to pistols at dawn. [sm=blasted.gif] But seriously, think about it, what did you ACTUALLY see Cloverfield Monster do? I mean, he left a great impression, but is there any substance beneath all the razzle-dazzle? Uh, yeah...he demolished my beloved NYC...so give him some props. I also wish I could call on him to stomp on threads like this, which will no doubt go to 26 pages with people trying to convince the newest interloper who likes to rattle everyone's chains that he wrong. When in reality he is probably just bored and thinking he is the first to challenge the very idea of BDSM being inherently wrong. Yawn.

tiggerspoohbear -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 10:46:37 AM)
Methinks his soap box froze, lterally, since it was a bottle of detergent and they don't hold up well under the weight of a person. It shattered to pieces, he fell on his head and came to his conclusions which were preceded by a concussion. [:D] ETA: Which reminds me, I should get the pepsi and the gallon jugs of water out of the trunk of my car before they explode and make a general slushy mess. G'ahead, ask me how I know this happens. [;)]

Mzicchillri -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/8/2010 3:20:55 PM)
This is just like any other relationship, Depends on the two or three...invovled. not everyone is sane period. If you think vanilla is difficult to find the right one.....I interviewed for 18 months before finding the sub I have been with for ten years. Some people think I am out to Domme all men because I am Domme, but that is so not true. You have to have things in common more than just the fetishes. why am I Domme, I had no choice, I had a sickly mother who divorced when I was three and was an only child. By ten I was writing out her checks and signing them. As far as Sadistic...I had a biting fetishing from toddling age. It wasn't the hurting...it was the reaction. It made me jump then laugh my ass of. Its the thrill other people get on a rollercoaster. why? don't know. Masochist in my experience, have been abused see it as love and crave it. What they are used to. This is my opinion so please do not jump all over me!!!!!!!

xssve -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/10/2010 8:05:46 PM)
Interesting article, actually, the author makes some effort to distinguish between "assertiveness"and being "domineering", but most of what the anonymous author writes could apply to both sexes - and, if your intention was to suggest that all men are "naturally" dominant and all women naturally submissive, it might not be the best jumping off point to cite an article, the point of which, is to describe the ways that feelings of inferiority and the desire for revenge are sometimes issues that can fuel "dominant" behaviors, and turn them into compulsive coping mechanisms. Doesn't sound like anybody in here of course...

AquaticSub -> RE: Bdsm is wrong (12/10/2010 9:52:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: steve2011 I've never been divorced. People seem very keen to put me down but has anyone ever been brave enough to get help? Yes actually. I've seen quite a number of therapists over the years and none of them have had any issues with BDSM, the lifestyle or linked it to my depression in any way, shape or form. So please, as you've been asked before, give us your sources for how you know that this is so bad for us? Also, I would really like an answer about if you have the balls to meet lifestylers face-to-face and discuss how they need help. It's easy to dismiss people's lives on the Internet. It's much harder to do it when you see them as functional people with loving relationships. So tell me... how many munches have you attended? How many dinners have you had in a kinster's home? How do you actually know the people you are dismissing out of hand?

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