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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 12/23/2010 11:28:26 AM

dcnovice

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quote:

We're on page 15 of this thread

That's a lot of troll food.

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 12/23/2010 11:36:49 AM

SorceressJ

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Crap, and here I was thinking that 1) the Dominants I know, including interesting, well-adjusted, and considerate folks like my beloved Husband and soulmate, and dear Dominant friends like Shadow-tiger and Hibbie, were all some genuinely wonderful people, and 2) that this thread was suitably lost in the sewers where it belongs..

P.S. I find it absolutely hilarious that the OP is even still active on this site which represents something he says is "so wrong". Don't you?
("Things That Make You Go 'Hmmm'")

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 12/23/2010 12:15:00 PM

Marc2b

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quote:

Looking for a dominant woman to play with you while you wrestle with the fact that you are submissive and are not at peace with the fact that a dominant woman could be normal and still want the kinky things you want?

Nailed it.

Every so often you see the thread where some dominant women wonder about men who write to give them crap about needing a “real” man to put them in their place. I believe that this phenomenon is akin to deep in the closet gay people who become the worst sort of homophobes and gay bashers (anyone out there wanna bet that Fred Phelps regularly whacks off to fantasies about being held down and ass raped by soldiers?). Such people have come to believe (upbringing, society, whatever) that their desires are unnatural or even sinful… so they lash out at that which they desire, blaming the object of their desire for their “sinful” thoughts.

As for the OP: beware of absolutes, you will rarely (if ever) find the answer there. The notion that all women are naturally submissive and all men are naturally dominant is a wonderful fantasy, one that I have indulged in myself since I was thirteen and discovered the Gor books (shortly after discovering new and interesting things I could do with my pecker). Because I was young and like most young people was arrogant (I thought I knew everything) and ignorant (I didn’t know anything) I presumed my new beliefs were reality. I first questioned these beliefs when I had my first submissive fantasy, courtesy of Joan Jett in this video. A little later in life all it took was a few drinks in the face and a few slaps to make me reconsider whether my beliefs stood up to reality.

Today I still identify myself as a dominant (although that Joan Jett video can still make me wish that I was her naked, captive, house cleaning monkey boy… it’s something about her eyes… I can’t really put it into words) and still indulge myself in male dominant/female submissive fantasies (either in my head on a cold and lonely winter night or acting them out with my consenting gal pal) about “putting a woman in her place” and “teaching her that submission is her natural destiny.” (DAMN YOU JOHN NORMAN!) The fantasy, however, does come to an end and I re-enter reality where I have discovered that women – real women – come in an amazing and wonderful variety, not just in looks but in attitudes and outlooks. You should take some time to get to know them because they are ultimately much more fun to know than any fantasy woman that any man could conjure up in his head.

For the record (in case anyone is wondering) I identify as a dominant and not as a switch because I think a real switch would be fifty/fifty or at least sixty/forty, whereas with me its about 90/10.

< Message edited by Marc2b -- 12/23/2010 12:17:12 PM >

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 12/23/2010 12:17:19 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

Like a lot of stealth narcisstic people im sure a lot of you are nice people at times, yet i would advise anyone off here to stay well away from so called dominants, it's just common sense, if you feel you can't do this then get help. If you read my posts i've never got abusive once, perhaps my thread title could have been a bit more understand but I stand by everything I said.

Steve - where did you go for two weeks? Finals?

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 12/23/2010 12:24:33 PM

Marc2b

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quote:

We're on page 15 of this thread

Isn’t it wonderful to see that despite the many differences of opinion (on BDSM, politics, etc) in the Collarme community we can still unite in common cause?

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 12/23/2010 1:43:26 PM

mnottertail

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OK, I'm kinda feeling sorta bad about myself now bein all kinda fucked up and everything, anyone want to throw a dog licking peanutbutter style pity blowjob on me?

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 12/23/2010 2:41:27 PM

WestBaySlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

OK, I'm kinda feeling sorta bad about myself now bein all kinda fucked up and everything, anyone want to throw a dog licking peanutbutter style pity blowjob on me?

You provide the peanut butter, close your eyes, and... I'll have a really interesting set of Christmas cards this year! People always seem to forget peanut-butter covered perverts during the holidays.

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 12/23/2010 3:15:06 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011
Like a lot of stealth narcisstic people im sure a lot of you are nice people at times, yet i would advise anyone off here to stay well away from so called dominants, it's just common sense, if you feel you can't do this then get help. If you read my posts i've never got abusive once, perhaps my thread title could have been a bit more understand but I stand by everything I said.

Oh look. It's back. I'd almost forgotten about this thread.

Truthfully, I probably should thank you for starting the thread that's provided so much entertainment. If it wasn't so long now, I'd have to think of having My husband read it. He'd probably laugh his ass off.

You do see the irony of the above statement, don't you? Doesn't your own profile list you as a so-called Dominant? I seem to recall several posts on the thread that you made of there must be something wrong with submissive males, so I don't think you're identifying with that label.

You're entitled to your opinion. Have fun with that.

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 12/23/2010 4:02:29 PM

hausboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Could it be that he's a bit of a narcissist and is only trying to wind people up for a bit of attention?

I guess he's also busy posting recipes for meat pie on vegan web boards...

What is quite interesting is that he warns about dominants when his profile reads

quote:

User Name: steve2011
Description: Dominant Male

Here's my theory about that. He's totally anti-BDSM (duh. that's not the theory part)....so to save all of our poor hedonistic lost souls that are going to hell if we aren't saved....or maybe he needs some more college credits to do outreach with the misfits of society (wait, that's two theories....)

so he created a quick profile just so he could post his drivel (if you look, all we have is a profile name, a country, and 'Dominant male') and I'm guessing....he opted for Dominant Male because in his skewed mind, that will give him more credibility than if he put that he was a lowly sub....

that's my theory. I'm stickin' to it.

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 12/24/2010 7:29:57 AM

xssve

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

quote:

why do you feel the need to 'submit' to people to become aroused? why dont you look into it? can't you show love without having to weakne yourself?

I am quite comfortable with my sexuality, thank you. YOU should ask YOUR therapist why this issue bothers YOU so much.

We're on page 15 of this thread and you still persist in your delusion that subs are weak. Obviously, we don't have a big enough clue stick for you.

Go bother the vegans with your meat recipes.

Truely, an obsession with the sexuality of others is a powerful indicator of some lack in the self.

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 12/24/2010 8:44:47 AM

subinlife

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Oh look. It's back. I'd almost forgotten about this thread.

Truthfully, I probably should thank you for starting the thread that's provided so much entertainment. If it wasn't so long now, I'd have to think of having My husband read it. He'd probably laugh his ass off.

You do see the irony of the above statement, don't you? Doesn't your own profile list you as a so-called Dominant? I seem to recall several posts on the thread that you made of there must be something wrong with submissive males, so I don't think you're identifying with that label.

You're entitled to your opinion. Have fun with that.

I tried to get my Dom to read this thread. He read the first three sentences and started laughing.
Refused to read any more. Can't post what he said about the OP.

Happy Holidays to All

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 1/9/2011 2:26:57 AM

CherryNeko

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Oh. Well, I don't like it. I think it's an article written by an obvious, innocent outsider: it is so superficial. BDSM is just a lifestyle! Only! Can we really trust its analysis to an article of no more than three pages, and no quotes, references, or given authors whatsoever? No, I'd say, please don't waste your time in reading those, cause they are not even funny enough.

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 1/9/2011 5:51:43 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

What do you think of this article?

I was wondering on here realise bdsm is very unhealthy or not?

why are some woman more domineering?
It is difficult to pinpoint why any person behaves in a specific way and often one is left to generalize based on individual beliefs, past experiences and misconceptions. If you are in a relationship with a woman who you believe is too dominant yet you want to continue the relationship, identifying the possible cause for her behavior may allow you to work on the relationship rather than running away.

Traumatic Past
Behavior that we exhibit is often learned through previous experience or is a defense mechanism to protect us from falling prey to an abusive person. Understanding your partner’s past is important in identifying any trauma that may have molded her into the person you see today. From an abusive father to seeing an abused, submissive mother or even being in a relationship where she was abused by her previous partner, many dominant woman may not have exhibited this type of behavior all through their life. The trauma of their personal experiences may have triggered a pattern of behavior (conditioning) that translates into her dominating her partner even when she is not faced with the same abusive nature or trauma. It may be a way of protecting herself from ever being in the situation that she previously endured.

http://www.sorrynotes.com/domineering-women-woman-dominating-a-man/

My advice is get an education.
I'm not participating in a bullshit debate except to restate (ironic as ever) I'm not participating.

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 1/9/2011 6:13:49 AM

susie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

We should be taught not to need what we need? By the same standard, homosexual children should be taught to change. Or not?

Bdsm isn't the same as homosexuality. If some is homosexual that is just who they are, if a man is submissive, he can learn to be strong and change, it won't be easy but its the same with de-pressed people, its caused by a de-pressing of emotions.

If you are serious about doing a Phd I suggest you get your grammar sorted first. I have never heard of de-pressed.0

As for your misguided statement above being a submissive is not something that is or isn't learnt. It is something you either are or are not.

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 1/9/2011 7:17:10 AM

slavekal

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Steve, you have no idea what you are talking about. Many Mistresses have slaves who are a lot stronger than you.

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 1/9/2011 7:27:25 AM

LadyConstanze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Steve, you have no idea what you are talking about.

Pretty much, yes, especially since he is always harping on about his studies and is trying to sell us his opinions as scientific results, it's quite easy to get the background on the links he posted:

Sorry Notes is a relationship and dating blog with advice on handling interpersonal relationships and relevant issues. All our content is provided by freelance writers and we will not be held liable for any misuse of information on this blog. If you are experiencing relationships problems, it is best to speak to a qualified therapist and get professional advice and guidance.

At Sorry Notes, we encourage content from freelance writers that will help our readers. We do purchase articles that are unique and well written but paid writers will not be credited for the work. Writers who wish to be credited for their work or professionals wanting to publish their articles with their name will not be paid for the content.

If you feel that you are equipped, either as a professional or through life experience, to write articles on relationship issues and provide dating advice then contact us through the email address below. Email subject line : Sorry Notes Writers.

Somehow that doesn't sound like a very scientific source to me....

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 1/9/2011 11:37:53 AM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

Steve, you have no idea what you are talking about. Many Mistresses have slaves who are a lot stronger than you.

Actually, come to think of it, don't some Mistresses even have slaves who are stronger than they are? I mean who in their right mind wants to carry their own shopping? :)
Edited to add...Whopps and there I go getting sucked into the thread. I must watch my mouth it's always getting me sucked into something.

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 1/9/2011 11:40:19 AM >

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 1/10/2011 3:32:55 PM

steve2011

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De-pressed is another word for depression.

I spelt it that way as 'depression' is basically 'de-pressed' emotions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: susie

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

We should be taught not to need what we need? By the same standard, homosexual children should be taught to change. Or not?

Bdsm isn't the same as homosexuality. If some is homosexual that is just who they are, if a man is submissive, he can learn to be strong and change, it won't be easy but its the same with de-pressed people, its caused by a de-pressing of emotions.

If you are serious about doing a Phd I suggest you get your grammar sorted first. I have never heard of de-pressed.0

As for your misguided statement above being a submissive is not something that is or isn't learnt. It is something you either are or are not.

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RE: Bdsm is wrong - 1/10/2011 3:35:26 PM

steve2011

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If BDSM is not a problem for you, then no therapist will force you or even try to make you change, it would be the same with an alcoholic, they can not be helped unless they want to help themselves.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: steve2011

I've never been divorced.

People seem very keen to put me down but has anyone ever been brave enough to get help?

Yes actually. I've seen quite a number of therapists over the years and none of them have had any issues with BDSM, the lifestyle or linked it to my depression in any way, shape or form. So please, as you've been asked before, give us your sources for how you know that this is so bad for us?

Also, I would really like an answer about if you have the balls to meet lifestylers face-to-face and discuss how they need help. It's easy to dismiss people's lives on the Internet. It's much harder to do it when you see them as functional people with loving relationships.

So tell me... how many munches have you attended? How many dinners have you had in a kinster's home? How do you actually know the people you are dismissing out of hand?