RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"?

RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (Full Version)

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DesFIP -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 1:56:28 PM)
It isn't intrinsic to submissives. What you are seeing is more dommes making an issue of how important it is that their sub be gentlemen, have good manners etc.

81song -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 1:57:49 PM)
So true about Italy. The times I have been there I gained 15 pounds but still do not grow an ass, still as small as ever.

Zevar -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 1:57:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YSG Ok... Im posting this here because I want perspectives from all sides. This is a rant stemming from a conversation with a female sub friend of mine. She has said that it seems that being a gentleman has become "a submissive thing". Um, what? I know a number of male doms locally, and Im sure quite a few on this board, who always attempt to be gentlemen, wether it is opening doors for a lady, paying for dates, carrying things when the situation calls for it, etc. 50 years ago, this was just expected of us as men, wether it was the young guys like me on a date, or older guys out with their wives. So when did this become "a submissive thing"? I think Im gonna go bang my head against the wall for awhile.... Greetings YSG: To my knowledge as a gentleman, submissiveness is not necessarily the correct term to use when attempting to define the traits of a gentleman. Moreover gentlemanly qualities are not usually related to what might be considered as submissiveness. Instead an inner unwavering refined confidence that is dedicated to demonstrating all actions in a manner that is closely related to traits that are synonymous with self-mastery, graciousness, respect, loyalty, strength, courage, balance and determination are more likely to define some of the traits associated with being a gentleman. Take care!

RapierFugue -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 2:00:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: 81song So true about Italy. The times I have been there I gained 15 pounds but still do not grow an ass, still as small as ever. You lucky, lucky bastard. My arse only has to look at a map of Italy and it grows (even) more [:D]

81song -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 2:09:06 PM)
Well I guess I worked it off, I even had girlfriend who wanted me to have an ass and she feed me like you know what.All I got was a pot belly and no ass. I belong to a support good called, no asses .

RapierFugue -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 2:10:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: 81song Well I guess I worked it off, I even had girlfriend who wanted me to have an ass and she feed me like you know what.All I got was a pot belly and no ass. I belong to a support good called, no asses . I should register as a potential ass donor* - I've got plenty enough for me and several other people [;)] *although, around here, that's probably a very dangerous thing to suggest.

81song -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 2:16:41 PM)
Grins......yes an ass donor, mmmmmm, how would that take around here?

MstrPBK -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 2:19:14 PM)
Being a gentleman ... or gentlewoman ... can be the highest form of politeness possible. (from my view) Master's and slave's can still show the world that being a gentleman is not dead. But we do not have to be as sickeningly gentlemanly as (Disney's?) Chip and Dale. MstrPBK St. Paul, MN USA

Darkfeather -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 2:39:49 PM)
I get this a lot as well. Being a Gentleman can come off as being less than dominant. Some submissives like to feel the control, the predator. Being a gentleman is the exact opposite of that. My response to that is, I am not being a Gentleman for you, I am being one for myself. One can be both respectful of others and have control. Personally, I feel it shows a good deal of strength, to show people respect, polite to those you meet, etc.

LadyConstanze -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 2:41:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RapierFugue quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze You have to live in Germany, Austria or Italy to know an excellent bakery Absolute bilge. There are many places in London that do this sort of thing. It's more commonplace in rural areas in France, Italy and other countries than in rural areas of the UK, but to make a blanket statement about "the UK" as you have is wholly and entirely incorrect. You've been living in the middle of bunghole nowhere for too long [;)] BS, not even in the middle of London I get the selection and quality of bread that I get on almost every street corner on the continent. You can get almost decent bread but not GREAT bread here, just like the pizza bases usually suck, the reason is the wrong water!

RapierFugue -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 3:43:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: 81song Grins......yes an ass donor, mmmmmm, how would that take around here? Enthusiastically, and worryingly, would be my guesses.

littlewonder -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 3:43:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirGeoffrey1 Prepare for a "Get Off My Lawn" moment... I think this is a generational thing. Younger people have the misconception that being a gentleman can equate to being subserviant, but older people equate gentlemanly behavior to being in control enough to offer small kindnesses (like opening doors or seating a lady) without changing any kind of power dynamic. I've encountered this attitude before and every time the woman was in her twenties. I have to say this has been my experience as well. My daughter is one of the younger generation adults and my daughter is attracted to boys who are puppydogs..boys who will follow her around with their tails between their knees so she likes...more like requires, for a boy to open doors for her, pull out her chair, carry her packages, etc...Thankfully she's not as bad about this as she was when she was younger but she still likes these kinds of boys. If you were to tell her it's him being a gentleman she'd laugh and tell you "no, it's him doing what I want him to do". I see it in a lot of girls her age. While to many this may just be being a gentleman, to the younger generation it's a lot of times what I label "girl power gone mad".

RapierFugue -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 3:44:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze BS, not even in the middle of London I get the selection and quality of bread that I get on almost every street corner on the continent. You can get almost decent bread but not GREAT bread here, just like the pizza bases usually suck, the reason is the wrong water! Wrong, but thank you for playing [;)]

AquaticSub -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 5:15:27 PM)
~Fast Reply~ I had a conversation with a friend once that went along these lines: Her: I don't get it. Why do you want a gentleman? You like rough, dominant guys who sling you around. Me: Yeah... gentlemen do that too. Her: Huh? I thought gentleman means "gentle man". Me: No, a gentleman is the man who helps you the mud puddle after he just ravaged you senseless against the barn door and keeps his mouth shut about where he left bruises. I love gentlemen. [:D]

OsideGirl -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 6:24:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ricken I insist on opening doors and not allowing her to do some things that I do. The reasoning is more than me being Dom, Yes being Dom and in control is one part, but it is ALSO showing her respsct and taking care of her the best I can. One instance recently, she hurt her knee and back and couldn't bend over I watched her one morning trying to get dressed and she couldn't put on her underware, when I asked what she was doing, she got scolded for not comming to me and was told that I do those things when she can't, for the next few days she wasn't allowed to dress herself. Some might veiw that as submissive, but for me it was an act of careing and showing her I was in controll enough to take care of her and feel safe Find a person that appreciates the way you act, don't bang your head against the wall, you just end up with a damaged wall to fix and a headache This is pretty much Master's view as well. He enjoys being a gentleman as much as he enjoys being a kinky sadist. And I have to tell you that when you're very independent and self sufficient....having someone do these things for you spotlights that someone else is in control. I have to stand outside the car and wait for him to open the door or sit inside the car and wait for him to open the door. I can't tell you how hard that is sometimes.

Aynne88 -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 8:21:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirGeoffrey1 Prepare for a "Get Off My Lawn" moment... I think this is a generational thing. Younger people have the misconception that being a gentleman can equate to being subserviant, but older people equate gentlemanly behavior to being in control enough to offer small kindnesses (like opening doors or seating a lady) without changing any kind of power dynamic. I've encountered this attitude before and every time the woman was in her twenties. This. Well said. My man is older, and chivalrous and charming, has no bearing on his dominance, I see the 35 and under crowd having lost touch with that. I also see them not knowing the basic niceties either, opening wine, ordering for their date, it's kind of sad that being well mannered and respectful has become a lost art. You can decant the cognac and still wield a whip [;)]. It's sexy...

SailingBum -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 10:35:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: YSG Ok... Im posting this here because I want perspectives from all sides. This is a rant stemming from a conversation with a female sub friend of mine. She has said that it seems that being a gentleman has become "a submissive thing". I think Im gonna go bang my head against the wall for awhile.... Here lemme help you with that...grabs Base Ball Bat while looking for the moron that made that statement BadOne

SexyBossyBBW -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/9/2010 10:46:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsSavra Being a gentleman or not is not about Dom/sub, but about having class and style - or not. Absolutely agree. In fact, I imagine the only time a male dominant is not a gentleman, is at play, where he would perhaps decide he's going to be a mean jerk for the day. As has already been said, I believe it has to do with folks associating specific acts with dominance or submission... Needless to say, I would disagree, since I believe it is more how one thinks, or his/her state of being, which makes one dominant/submissive, or normal, lol. M

crazyml -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/10/2010 2:18:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze Though I have to admit last week in the tube in London I got up to offer a pregnant woman my seat and some rude guy took it before the pregnant woman could sit down (I swear I wasn't even standing straight and he was in like a shot), we looked at each other, raised our eyebrows, he was hiding behind his paper and I couldn't resist tapping him on the shoulder and asking very friendly if he would like a prize for snatching seats that were offered to pregnant ladies. He was huffing a bit that he didn't see the pregnant lady (yeah right) and made no move to get up, both people to the left and the right of him offered her the seat then, she said it's OK and didn't want to take it, one of them said loudly "Don't blame you, I don't really want to sit next to him" and made a face as if he smelled something horrible, a few giggles around, the seat snatcher got off at the next station - I doubt he wanted to get off, because it was hardly worth sitting down... Shame that the weather was so grotty and I wore flat boots, it would have been one of the situations where you try to catch your balance and by mistake step on somebody's foot with a stiletto heel... Of course I would have apologized... You rock. I would have shown far less restraint.

crazyml -> RE: When did being a gentleman suddenly become "a submissive thing"? (12/10/2010 2:19:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsSavra Being a gentleman or not is not about Dom/sub, but about having class and style - or not. You rock. quote: ORIGINAL: lovingpet Nope. It's not a dominant or submissive thing at all. It is a simple matter of not being raised by rabid wolves. lovingpet So do you. To the op: Like the rockin MsSavra, I think it's about whether someone has class or not. And, I agree with lovingpet - in fact, one of the reasons that I choked on my coffee when I read her post (thankyou lovingpet!) was that "any one would think you'd been raised by wolves" is an expression my mother would use. My mother managed to be a bra-burning, protest-marching feminist while still insisting on good manners from her offspring. If I'm honest - I give up my seat and open doors thanks to a trained pavlovian response - Deep in my inner psyche I'm expecting a hand to appear from nowhere to cuff me around the ear if I don't. I'd go further though - (and someone else on this thread alluded to it - just can't find it now sorry!) - for me good manners adds to the whole experience, there's a lovely contrast between holding the door on the way into the restaurant, taking her coat, and pushing her seat in all in the mutual knowledge that later she'll be naked, bound, and dripping with...

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