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Introducing vanilla male to a D/s lifestyle... - 12/10/2010 9:52:51 AM   
powerlessness


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Hello all Sirs, Dominants, Masters and Lords...

i would just like to ask you all, how do you introduce a guy into this lifestyle. going beyond "rough sex," what is the best way to introduce a guy to bdsm. what advice would you give a sub in regards to how to get him interested.

i hope the question is clear.
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RE: Introducing vanilla male to a D/s lifestyle... - 12/10/2010 10:36:38 AM   
DarkSteven


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Okay.  The classic example of a submissive woman with a vanilla - can she devanillify him?  The answer is that sometime it does work and a lot of times it doesn't.  There's a book called When Someone You Love is Kinky that might help him if he reads it.

In this case, you strike me as being a bit new yourself, so it's not just a case of introducing him as much as getting him interested and then exploring it together.

Are you looking for spanking and hair pulling in bed, or for him to take charge in everyday life as well?


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to powerlessness)
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RE: Introducing vanilla male to a D/s lifestyle... - 12/10/2010 10:58:46 AM   
Dnomyar


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take some rope and ask him to put his hands behind his back. If he does your in. If he says no then move on cause it aint going to happen. Simple.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Introducing vanilla male to a D/s lifestyle... - 12/12/2010 4:05:08 PM   
DesFIP


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From: Apple County NY
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More info needed op. I don't know if you want to top him or have him top you. I don't know if you want this to be in the bedroom only or what.

Outside the bedroom, you earn the right to be the decision maker by making good decisions time after time and demonstrating the fact that you make damn few mistakes. You learn about things before trying them and screwing up.

Now if you want him to top you, you start with rough sex. You come out naked, drape yourself over his knee and say something saucy like "I've been a naughty girl, Santa" and then squeal in a very girly manner when he spanks you a couple of times, barely hard enough to feel. You then follow that up by jumping on him, squirming, and begging him to have sex with you, sliding to your knees and begging to suck his cock is also a good choice. You follow that with several references to it over the next few days, reminding him how hot it made you, how hot you are now thinking about it, and asking him to do it again real soon, only harder and longer.

You keep this up for about six months, responding positively to what he does. Even if it's painful at the time, if it feels good afterward, you tell him that and beg for a re-occurrence. You also don't expect that a man who has been taught for two or three decades never to hit a girl to overcome this lifelong conditioning in one night. If you aren't willing to wait months while giving consistently positive reinforcement to his exercising his dominance, then walk away now and go look for someone who has already done this.


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RE: Introducing vanilla male to a D/s lifestyle... - 12/12/2010 4:15:29 PM   
RedMagic1


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
You also don't expect that a man who has been taught for two or three decades never to hit a girl to overcome this lifelong conditioning in one night. If you aren't willing to wait months while giving consistently positive reinforcement to his exercising his dominance, then walk away now and go look for someone who has already done this.

Yes.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: Introducing vanilla male to a D/s lifestyle... - 12/12/2010 5:12:11 PM   
SheCreature


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Joined: 7/29/2010
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I was in that kind of relationship once. It took some time to convince my partner, that I really don't mind beeing treated rough in the bedroom, and not only there...And that I just love it like that...

Months of subtle suggestions, gentle encouragements and patience from my side. But it was worth waiting in that case. So if you feel, that it's worth trying, go for it. And don't put down, if sometimes he won't respond in the way you wanted him to.



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What's dead, should stay dead >:)

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RE: Introducing vanilla male to a D/s lifestyle... - 12/13/2010 6:18:27 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SheCreature

 And don't put down, if sometimes he won't respond in the way you wanted him to.



Quoted because of how important this is.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 12/13/2010 6:19:35 AM >


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Introducing vanilla male to a D/s lifestyle... - 12/14/2010 11:34:17 AM   
leadership527


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What Des said.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Introducing vanilla male to a D/s lifestyle... - 12/18/2010 8:30:47 AM   
osf


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you can try but don't get your hopes up and be ready for the end of the relationship

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all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

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