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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/18/2010 2:20:45 PM   
MarcusLaRue


Posts: 2
Joined: 11/4/2010
Status: offline 		As others have mentioned, there are no disappointments without expectations.....so that's the cost. The "pay off" for having expectations...IMHO it is that our ego has a moment of satiation when our expectations are met. Is the pay off worth the potential cost?? Methinks not. It is impossible to live in the "NOW" w/ expectations. Do we, as humans, have a choice over whether to have expectations or not.....no, not as long as "ego" is still prominent....however, the more the ego is deconstructed the less need we have for expectations. So, having a Master that has little expectations of you does not necessarily indicate he doesn't care, or isn't involved, it may be that he realizes that you are "perfect in your imperfection" while on your path to be the "perfect" slave. (The joy is in the journey, not the destination)
Of course, expectations can also be useful as a "tool"....to help sub/slave deconstruct her ego when she fails. <winks> 

(in reply to xssve)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/18/2010 2:26:03 PM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		I have expectations from myself and other people in general, and even more so with a D/s relationship.

_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to SAMHAIN09)
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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/18/2010 2:28:37 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

Word, op. All is samsara; expectations breed discontent and ignorance. Strive without attachment to outcome.


When meeting someone new, I have hopes while practicing non-attachment.

Once I get to know someone, I form expectations. I'm going to rethink this.

(in reply to DMFParadox)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/18/2010 3:01:18 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		By expectation, op, I get the feeling you mean unexpressed expectations. Things you hope for and don't talk about. None of them are good to have.

You need to talk about everything; about your must haves, about your deal breakers, and about where you can and will compromise. If you need a poly relationship then you must express that. Yes, most women will tell you no thanks upfront. But isn't it better being turned down right away instead of lying to her and causing her to regret all the time she spent with you before you told her the truth? Isn't it better to be seen as someone with integrity instead of hated as a lying user?


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to kalikshama)
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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/18/2010 6:28:13 PM   
petmonkey


Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline 		~FR~
Expect them to be as human as you are.


_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.


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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/18/2010 10:04:05 PM   
Zevar


Posts: 801
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

I personally feel that the best expectations one can have are no expectations.



Expectations as in having set standards of conduct or principles make total practical sense, relationally speaking. Expecting the truth to be told, as in NO lying tolerated, is a definite expectation of mine. To expect integrity is non-negotiable, undoubtedly.

To set no standards or expectations is likened to a wide gate which definitely leads to no where. Preferably, standards that are similar to mine are much more likely to be acceptable within the confines of a relationship. To expect nothing from myself or otherwise is far too abstract of a concept to wrap my thought around. Pragmatically speaking I cannot imagine most folks on some level having some form of expectations.

The key is effective communication, one to another. Without effective communication surely the likelihood of failure is inevitable. Clearly if one asserts their best efforts with the goal of establishing an open line of effective communication there is a higher probability to succeed in a relationship, by way of communicating expectations thus eliminating any guesswork.

Take care!

(in reply to SAMHAIN09)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/18/2010 10:06:34 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		I expect mine to do only two things... I expect them to do their absolute best at all things they do, and I expect them to be honest and upstanding in all situations. If they do these things, then I've no reason to not be proud of them.

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to xssve)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/18/2010 11:07:44 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Of course I have expectations.
At a minimum, I expect her to serve, please and obey.
Oh yeah. And suck a mean dick.


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to BKSir)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/18/2010 11:08:54 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		A mean dick as opposed to a nice one?

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/18/2010 11:18:48 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

A mean dick as opposed to a nice one?


*Laughs*
There's a reason they call em dicks.


(In teeny tiny print. It was a colloquialism, slang, jive, lingo...I just knew the CM grammar police was gonna get me.)


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/18/2010 11:24:50 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		oh duh!

actually, i got it and thought it amusing. never met a dick, face to.. ahem... that i couldnt *mellow*

< Message edited by tazzygirl -- 12/18/2010 11:25:18 PM >

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/18/2010 11:31:24 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

oh duh!

actually, i got it and thought it amusing. never met a dick, face to.. ahem... that i couldnt *mellow*


As a good servant should!


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/18/2010 11:33:33 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl
actually, i got it and thought it amusing. never met a dick, face to.. ahem... that i couldnt *mellow*


Great, now you've got me picturing 420 supporting penises.

My dreams are gonna be so weird tonight.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/18/2010 11:39:29 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Girl, im good... im not 420 penises good! Gesh, talk about lockjaw!

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/18/2010 11:40:39 PM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Dante Hicks: You said you only had sex with three different guys; you never mentioned him!
Veronica Loughran: Because I never HAD sex with him.
Dante Hicks: You sucked his dick!
Veronica Loughran: We went out a few times. We never had sex but we fooled around.
Dante Hicks: Oh my God, WHY did you tell me you only had sex with three different guys?
Veronica Loughran: Because I DID only have sex with three different guys; that doesn't mean I didn't just go with people.
Dante Hicks: Oh my God, I feel so nauseous!
Veronica Loughran: I'm sorry, Dante, I thought you understood!
Dante Hicks: I did understand! I understood that you had sex with three different guys and that's all you said!
Veronica Loughran: Please calm down.
Dante Hicks: How many?
Veronica Loughran: Dante...
Dante Hicks: How many dicks have you sucked?
Veronica Loughran: Let it go!
Dante Hicks: How many?
Veronica Loughran: All right, shut up a second and I'll tell you! Jesus! I didn't freak out like this when you told me how many girls you fucked!
Dante Hicks: This is different, this is important. How many?
[long pause as customer buys something]
Dante Hicks: Well?
Veronica Loughran: Something like... 36.
Dante Hicks: What? Something like 36?
Veronica Loughran: Lower your voice.
Dante Hicks: Wait, what is that anyway, something like 36? Does that INCLUDE me?
Veronica Loughran: Ummm... 37.
Dante Hicks: I'm 37?


Dante Hicks: 37! My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!
Customer with Diapers: In a row?

Dante Hicks: [to Veronica] Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!


< Message edited by Kana -- 12/18/2010 11:43:52 PM >

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/19/2010 2:04:45 AM   
Whiplashsmile4


Posts: 2305
Joined: 12/2/2008
Status: offline 		So is this how the no expectations business works?

Dom: Give me a blow job.
Sub: Sorry, I'm not in the mood
Dom: Oh.. okay then how about a hand job
Sub: You know that doesn't do anything for me.
Dom: Well how about if we just sit here and watch some TV together
Sub: Not tonight, I'm going out with some friends.
Dom: You didn't ask me if you could go out.
Sub: I'm sorry, I was going to ask but forgot.
Dom: I want you back before Midnight.
Sub: I won't be back until tomorrow morning we all are going to crash over at (insert name) house.
Dom: Did you remember to pay the Electric Bill today?
Sub: Oh shit, I forgot all about that.. my aunt called today and kept me on the phone for hours, you know how she is.
Dom: You were supposed to take care of it.
Sub: I'll do it tomorrow, I promise.
Dom: Make certain you do it, it's already a week late. What time are you going to be back in the morning?
Sub: I don't know yet
Dom: Shall I call you in the morning to wake you up?
Sub: I'll probably have my phone shut off, you know I hate being disturbed when I sleep.


_____________________________

Жизнь ума ебет.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUzJI4Palq0

(in reply to MarcusLaRue)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/19/2010 2:28:28 AM   
petmonkey


Posts: 1053
Joined: 7/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

So is this how the no expectations business works?

Dom: Give me a blow job . . .


That example made my whole entire brain cry-out in pain, you sadist.


_____________________________

Be excellent to each other.


(in reply to Whiplashsmile4)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/19/2010 2:57:20 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana
Dante Hicks: [to Veronica] Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!


That line, and more importantly his delivery of it, never fails to make me laugh

(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/25/2010 8:50:24 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm pulling this back to the top to add something that may have been missed.

Years ago, I was sitting at a presentation that was being given by Vi Johnson.  During which, she gave a very good example of her feelings as a slave in hearing that a task had been "good enough".  If I remember correctly, her recollection had been about a formal dinner party.  The place settings before the guests arrived, in particular.  Folks who know Vi know that there is an expectation to be met.  On this one occasion, she saw the table that she had laid as less than perfect.  Something that she always strives to do.  She relayed how disappointed she was when she was told it was "good enough".  How very unfulfilled she was that the M of the house could be content with something that wasn't up to standard.  After years of impeccable service, "good enough" left her feeling loss.

Expectations, when properly conveyed and communicated, can be quite worthwhile.  It can be terribly disappointing when you have a sub who wants to please and has no way to do so.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/25/2010 9:37:06 PM   
violetbunny


Posts: 10
Joined: 10/21/2010
Status: offline 		Just have to add my two cents worth on this. This movie is awesome!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana

Dante Hicks: You said you only had sex with three different guys; you never mentioned him!
Veronica Loughran: Because I never HAD sex with him.
Dante Hicks: You sucked his dick!
Veronica Loughran: We went out a few times. We never had sex but we fooled around.
Dante Hicks: Oh my God, WHY did you tell me you only had sex with three different guys?
Veronica Loughran: Because I DID only have sex with three different guys; that doesn't mean I didn't just go with people.
Dante Hicks: Oh my God, I feel so nauseous!
Veronica Loughran: I'm sorry, Dante, I thought you understood!
Dante Hicks: I did understand! I understood that you had sex with three different guys and that's all you said!
Veronica Loughran: Please calm down.
Dante Hicks: How many?
Veronica Loughran: Dante...
Dante Hicks: How many dicks have you sucked?
Veronica Loughran: Let it go!
Dante Hicks: How many?
Veronica Loughran: All right, shut up a second and I'll tell you! Jesus! I didn't freak out like this when you told me how many girls you fucked!
Dante Hicks: This is different, this is important. How many?
[long pause as customer buys something]
Dante Hicks: Well?
Veronica Loughran: Something like... 36.
Dante Hicks: What? Something like 36?
Veronica Loughran: Lower your voice.
Dante Hicks: Wait, what is that anyway, something like 36? Does that INCLUDE me?
Veronica Loughran: Ummm... 37.
Dante Hicks: I'm 37?


Dante Hicks: 37! My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!
Customer with Diapers: In a row?

Dante Hicks: [to Veronica] Hey, try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!


(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 40
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