RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave?

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/26/2010 3:10:54 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

I personally feel that the best expectations one can have are no expectations.

~FR~

Ridiculous. I think we've gotten into the mess we're in as a culture because we -don't- have high expectations. We have been encouraged since the early 70s to just "coast", avoid having any expectations of others (or of ourselves), and to -resent- people who have expectations of others.

I'll be straightforward. I have plenty of expectations when someone comes to be in service to our household. I expect that the person will be obedient, dedicated, will strive for excellence, will be forthright about both learning what we've asked hir to learn and letting us know when xhe's having difficulties with meeting our expectations.

I would go so far as to say that I think that the 'best' expectation one could have for a submissive individual over whom one holds authority is that that submissive individual strive for excellence in -all- things.

Calla

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/26/2010 3:25:43 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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Joined: 6/29/2008
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quote:

I agree with you that love and respect are important. I just feel that if you have no expectations there wont be any dissapointments on either end.

There is a conversation that I think is relevant from the movie "Letters to Juliet" -- the scene is the grandson, grandmother (who is looking for her lost beloved from 50 years before) and the writer driving up a long driveway in Tuscany, towards a mansion.

Grandson: Just think -- from working in the fields to OWNING the fields... and you would have missed all the messy bits.

Grandmother: Life -IS- the messy bits!

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Really -- living without expectations to keep from having to face the times that those expectations are not met is NOT "avoiding disappointment" -- it is avoiding responsibility for making choices, for declaring what we truly want (and believing that we have the right and responsibility to do what it takes to obtain it) and knowing ourselves and the people that we interact with, and it is, IMO, a cop-out.

Calla

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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

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Post #: 42

RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/26/2010 9:12:59 AM

journerotica

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Joined: 11/20/2010
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For me I have the following expectations of myself and my sub(s):

The Domina’s Responsibilities.
I will endeavour to:
1) Give anyone serving me what they need, not what they may want, in order for them to achieve personal growth and pleasure through servitude.
2) Provide fairness, transparency, consistency, structure and training in my rules and discipline.
3) Maintain respect for and protect the well being and dignity of anyone who serves me.

The Sub or Slave’s Responsibilities
I will endeavour to:
1) Respect and obey my Domina at all times.
2) Accept any discipline that she may deem necessary.
3) Serve her to the best of my ability.

On top of that there are also "house rules" that vary depending on the sub/slave in question.

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/26/2010 12:46:42 PM

SomoneReal

Posts: 65
Joined: 7/5/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

I personally feel that the best expectations one can have are no expectations.

In a perfect world where everyone was honest and sincere, than that would be a great motto to go by. Unfortunatley this world is full of liars, cheats, and disrespectful pieces of shit.

Simple Expectations

1) Always be honest

2) Be obedient, and ask for help if you need it

3) Put your best into everything that your doing

4) Always be respectful

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/26/2010 4:13:19 PM

mysouldesire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

I personally feel that the best expectations one can have are no expectations.

It seems that asking for YOUR definition of EXPECTATIONS might provide for an improved discussion.........?

He had better have expectations of me as I do of him !

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/27/2010 8:16:57 AM

kdsusa7894

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Joined: 12/19/2010
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Having no expectations can be alot easier because you avoid disappointments if someone doesnt live up to them, it's not hard to live up to nothing.....

But at the same time, you also can't watch someone work at and achieve a higher expectation of themselves or the people they care for and in that aspect of it you lose.....

As a submissive (albiet - new) I would expect the person I submit to to respect me, be loyal, honest, trustworthy and committed to me as I would be to them. Wouldn't expect them to take care of me as I am an adult and can and have done that for years on my own. And I would expect them to set realistic goals for my submission and they would need patience in spades, lol to get me there.

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/27/2010 3:27:09 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
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That depends...to high of expectations may cause resentment...

Being a sub/slave is hard enough....in time the longer they are around the bar gets pushes a little higher, in my experience...

each to their own...

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/27/2010 4:07:52 PM

Prinsexx

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

I personally feel that the best expectations one can have are no expectations.

Assume nothing, expect everything, suspect everyone

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 12/27/2010 4:08:14 PM >

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/27/2010 4:31:29 PM

agirl

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I certainly have had fewer expectations at the start of a relationship of any kind.

However, after a few years I develop a few....I expect M to be who he is and he expects me to be who I am. He doesn't get disappointed because he knows what I'm like.....we might get frustrated with each other, but not disappointed.

The only way we'd be disappointed would be if either of us behaved horribly out of character. He *expects* the bad bits as well as the good, it might piss him off , but he's not disappointed, and ditto, in reverse.

agirl

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/27/2010 4:36:13 PM

CerVeza

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I prefer sane. Sanity is huge with me. Obedience. I also want a girl who wants to please me. Oh, not vanilla. Lose the vanilla. Not interested in nilla, no way.

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RE: What is the best expectation to have for a sub/slave? - 12/27/2010 7:17:45 PM

submitting4U

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Joined: 8/16/2010
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Expectations are neutral, they can be positive or negative, to any degree of intensity. I think an important thing to remember as a sub is that most Dominant folks will exploit you because they can and because they do not respect submissiveness. If you doubt that, ask them how comfortable they might be to submit to another. Truly domiant people cannot fanthom that possibility or reality. Do not confuse attachment for mature love, the latter is one higher form of the former. Many people live in abusive relationships. They are attached but not in a healthy way. So, your expectations should be realistic, if you are "property", as in slavery, expect little.

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