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What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 11:01:04 AM

cejohnsonsr

Posts: 7
Joined: 1/16/2008
Status: offline

That which follows contains no questions. It's not a riddle. It is a statement of fact, requiring no further comment. Those of us who are genuine will recognize this. To the rest of you: discuss it among yourselves if you must, but don't write to me. I have neither the time, nor the inclination to explain what I just explained. Happy Holidays.

Ed

BDSM is not something that can be experienced online. It requires nothing of the sub & proves nothing to the dom. (Notice how I didn't change capitalization. That's because doing so signifies nothing & is a device used by those who don't understand what BDSM is &/or have never really experienced it.) BDSM is not a lifestyle. While it can, & often does carry over into the mundane, everyday life of those few who practice it, BDSM is 1st, & foremost, a sexual proclivity. You don't develop a BDSM relationship by talking about it forever & then maybe eventually fumbling around like a couple of sophomores on their 1st date. Rather, a BDSM relationship is established by an act of submission. This act most certainly includes physical domination & abuse as well as any sexual depravity the dom chooses to inflict upon his sub. I would suggest everyone who thinks they are into BDSM actually take the time to look up each of the words BONDAGE - DISCIPLINE/DOMINATION (<--- there are 2 schools of thought) - SADISM - MASOCHISM. Then be honest with yourself. Words mean things. There is a reason for these words to exist in our language. If you've never physically bound & abused another human being (and enjoyed it), you're neither a dom nor a sadist. If you've never given yourself into the control of another for the express purpose of being bound & abused (and enjoyed it) you're neither a sub nor a masochist. Furthermore, if you have a laundry list of things you won't do, or allow to be done to you, that takes longer to read than War & Peace, you're NOT a sub. A sub doesn't get to decide very much at all. Entering an arrangement with more than a few reasonable boundaries is NOT submission. Allowing for more than a few reasonable considerations is NOT dominance. Those of us who are truly dominant, who have left the realm of fantasy & experienced the physical manifestation of those fantasies are genuinely offended by the pretenders among us. And you are legion. (Speaking for myself & on behalf of the few genuine doms in existence. Nobody really gives a fuck what a sub thinks, so just assume she agrees with me.)

Post #: 1

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 11:13:12 AM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cejohnsonsr

Nobody really gives a fuck what a sub thinks, so just assume she agrees with me.)

I would like to go on record as saying that this submissive does not agree with you.
I'm not certain which realm/rock your crawled out from, but a REAL dominant has no need
to toot his own horn. Is this what you must resort to for attention? Bless your heart.

< Message edited by poise -- 12/17/2010 11:38:29 AM >

_____________________________

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Post #: 2

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 11:17:28 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

*yawn*

Yet another One True Way zealot. They're coming out of the woodwork lately.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 3

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 11:20:07 AM

HisEvelyn

Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline

Wow. Yeah... this slave doesn't agree either. But who gives a fuck what I think? Oh right, my Master does. :) And that's what matters to me.

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 4

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 11:21:18 AM

FETtotheLIFE

Posts: 16
Joined: 12/16/2010
Status: offline

finally a man that speaks the truth, come let us bully him

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Post #: 5

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 11:23:30 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

I wasn't going to write him in any case, anyway.

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Post #: 6

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 11:23:45 AM

hlen5

Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
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So if that isn't what it's about, What IS it all about, (little) eddy?

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Post #: 7

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 11:38:15 AM

Twoshoes

Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

So, your profile is a mix of latent insecurity (about being able to find a partner) and self-rightous judgments (about any prospective partners)? Amusing.

(in reply to cejohnsonsr)

Post #: 8

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 11:42:00 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

Ed,

There are people for whom their relationships revolve around the mental aspects of submission and domination.

For me, submission is in my head, my heart... my soul, if you will.

You speak nothing about trust earned and how the evolution of the depths of that trust further a relationship.

I don't care whether or not you think my dom is genuine, he is the real deal to me.
I don't care that you find me irrelevant or within your perceptions view me not to be a true sub.
I know that I am relevant to him.
My thoughts, my feelings, my tears, my desires are likewise relevant to him.
He certainly finds me to be true and... true to him.

I am not "a sub"; I am His sub.

Context is everything.

Within the context of our relationship, your words do not fit within our dynamic.

They may work in your world, but this is not a "one size fits all world", contrary to what your words are seeming to convey.

ps Happy (belated) Birthday.

edit: to add this and that

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 12/17/2010 11:49:08 AM >

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(in reply to cejohnsonsr)

Post #: 9

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 11:43:06 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FETtotheLIFE

finally a man that speaks the truth, come let us bully him

Just so we know which troll we're dealing with, what's your FetLife username?

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to FETtotheLIFE)

Post #: 10

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 11:43:10 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

quote:

ORIGINAL: cejohnsonsr

Nobody really gives a fuck what a sub thinks, so just assume she agrees with me.)

I would like to go on record as saying that this submissive does not agree with you.
I'm not certain which realm/rock your crawled out from, but a REAL dominant has no need
to toot his own horn. Is this what you must resort to for attention? Bless your heart.

Did you not read the first part of what you quoted from him? Damn!

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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(in reply to poise)

Post #: 11

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 11:44:21 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Geez, I hardly know where to start.

quote:

BDSM is not something that can be experienced online.

Per your explanation of the acronym later in your post, I will tell you that I am in the one definition camp. Bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism. While I don't tend to go for the online thing Myself between folks who have never met, I will tell you that My (oh, we'll get to the capitals thing here in just a bit) sub didn't stop being My sub during his deployment. The word "discipline" actually has multiple meanings. Here are a couple under Webster's:

training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character

control gained by enforcing obedience or order b : orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior

Those are not things that stop just because people are temporarily separated by distance (ergo, using online as a primary means of communication) during the length of a dynamic. Just the same as when folks who are married must be in different locations for a time. They don't stop being married or expect less of one another. Very same case.

quote:

(Notice how I didn't change capitalization. That's because doing so signifies nothing & is a device used by those who don't understand what BDSM is &/or have never really experienced it.)

On this, the only thing that I can tell you is that I've been doing this in My life since 1999. By that, I do mean "doing" which is a verb. Not five days ago, I was a demo top in a neighboring city. My writing style hasn't one thing to do with the other.

quote:

BDSM is not a lifestyle. While it can, & often does carry over into the mundane, everyday life of those few who practice it, BDSM is 1st, & foremost, a sexual proclivity.

Except in those cases where you have a dynamic where there is no physical sex between the participants. It's not that uncommon and just because it's not your way doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.

quote:

You don't develop a BDSM relationship by talking about it forever & then maybe eventually fumbling around like a couple of sophomores on their 1st date.

The last word I'd use to describe My topping skills is "fumbling". Sure, they can always improve, but I think I've got some idea of what I'm doing by now.

quote:

Rather, a BDSM relationship is established by an act of submission.

Again, I'm in the one definition group. Topping and bottoming (sadism and masochism) do apply here.

quote:

This act most certainly includes physical domination & abuse as well as any sexual depravity the dom chooses to inflict upon his sub.

I'm starting to think you would do well with a copy of Webster's. I'm not going to post the definitions of abuse here, but none of them cover My activities with others that I would describe as BDSM.

quote:

Words mean things.

I'd agree. However, most of your definitions are lacking.

quote:

There is a reason for these words to exist in our language. If you've never physically bound & abused another human being (and enjoyed it), you're neither a dom nor a sadist. If you've never given yourself into the control of another for the express purpose of being bound & abused (and enjoyed it) you're neither a sub nor a masochist.

The words Dom and sadist, as well as submissive and masochist, are not interchangeable. There are plenty of sadists who are not Dominant and plenty of Dominants who are not sadists. The same thing goes for the other side of the kneel. While you're entitled to your myopic view on how BDSM works, you are just like everyone else. One person with one opinion which counts no more or less than someone of a different opinion.

quote:

(Speaking for myself & on behalf of the few genuine doms in existence. Nobody really gives a fuck what a sub thinks, so just assume she agrees with me.)

Speak for yourself all you like. You don't speak for everyone and you damn sure don't speak for Me.

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to cejohnsonsr)

Post #: 12

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 11:48:46 AM

anniezz338

Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline

I see real Masters/Doms as being real men. I would think you, as a "genuine dom", would have taken that level 101 class. Maybe you were out that semester.

I think that is the worst drivel I have read on this board. sheesh

_____________________________

I had become insane, with horrific lapses of sanity. Edgar Allen Poe

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Post #: 13

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 11:50:00 AM

FETtotheLIFE

Posts: 16
Joined: 12/16/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: FETtotheLIFE

finally a man that speaks the truth, come let us bully him

Just so we know which troll we're dealing with, what's your FetLife username?

~stef

stef your a hottie but your profile says "not looking" dont lead someone on.

_____________________________

two different color blues look the same when red comes along..

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Post #: 14

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 12:11:01 PM

subinlife

Posts: 263
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline

Well this sub doesn't care what you think or feel.
Only what my Dom thinks and feels.

You don't get to decide who is Dominant and who is submissive.
We all have our own values and standards in that matter.
Nor do you get to come along after we find someone who suits us and tell us we are doing it right or wrong.

I read you profile ( what little there is ) and your journal entries.
You can't find a "pain slut" If your Op is how you think then I'm not really surprised.
You don't want women your own age, maybe you will get lucky and find that 19 year old virgin.
As another poster says he has.

Your use and context of the word "abuse" makes me think of my ex-husband.
I'm not going there.

Many here, myself included, have done RL.
We are online for many reason.
Probably as many reasons as there are dynamics.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 15

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 12:33:10 PM

WinsomeDefiance

Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline

To CM in general, since the OP isn't interested in discussing his own topic:

1) How hard is it REALLY to find a pain slut? Does it really take more than 6 years?

2) Do you dominant individuals REALLY not care what a submissive thinks?

3) Why can't one be dominant, if they have never tied up and abused someone? Do knots and rope hold magical dominant empowering abilities? Can these abilities be modified? Is there an uber +5 Dominant empowring rope out there that creates Masters?

4) If BDSM is singularly a sexual proclivity, what if you tie someone up and abuse them but dont' fuck them or use them sexually, does that mean it ISN'T BDSM?

5) If a dominant 'allows' for anything he or she CHOOSES to 'allow' other than a few reasonable expectations - but then turns around and ties someone up and abuses them - can the dominant THEN be re-endowed with those magical dominant powers?

also

I) Why can't one be submissive if they've never given themselves over to be tied up and abused? Is bondage equipment submissive cryptonite? (That was a rhetorical question really

)

II) If you have given yourself over to be tied up and abused, but otherwise DON'T surrender to anyone for anything else - do you still by reason of a little spanking render yourself magically submissive?

Just wondering how this reality thing works is all.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 12/17/2010 12:38:14 PM >

(in reply to subinlife)

Post #: 16

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 12:55:12 PM

DomArtist4u

Posts: 47
Joined: 6/19/2007
Status: offline

Hello ed, (notice I did not capitalize your name, as you said yourself it doesn't matter)

thank you for you narrow definition of b.d.s.m. (notice I didn't capitalize that either, thats just for you)

as you can see already some folks already have disagreed with you so i wont go there (yes i have compleately thrown away the shift key)

what i don't see in your definition of what it is or isnt about, is the room for variety and creativity.

bondage: for instance some purists would say that using anything but hemp rope is not bondage. others use velcro bindings, even syran wrap or duct tape.

disipline: some may see this as corpporal punishment as in spanking or canning as a form of corrective behavoir modificatin through disiplinary actions. to others disipline can be structured rituals, or self disipline such as smoking or eating habits.

sadism is not dominantion- you can be a dOm and never gotten pleasure from inflicting pain on someone, you can also be a sadist and not dominant or have any knowlege or desire to use bondage. some would even argue that sadists get pleasure just from observing physical pain.

masochism is not sunbmission - and vise versa you can be Sub and not enjoy pain, you can enjoy pain and not be suB

but i think the big thing you left out is that what ever level you are at in any of these particular fetishes, does not define you or me or anyone who has interest in bdsm.

i think this post would have done better with the title "one mans opinion on bdsm" or "what i think its all about"

one thing is clear, you never mentioned the "hokie pokie" which everyone know.... thats what it IS all about

(in reply to subinlife)

Post #: 17

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 12:59:01 PM

HisEvelyn

Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

3) Why can't one be dominant, if they have never tied up and abused someone? Do knots and rope hold magical dominant empowering abilities? Can these abilities be modified? Is there an uber +5 Dominant empowring rope out there that creates Masters?

I think my Master has one of those magical +5 Ropes of Dominance in his trusty Bag of Holding! He got it off a Beholder, because you know nothing is more domly than a big eye with magic powers staring at you intently. And damn, them Beholders are sadistic bastards, so you know it's a TWUE Dom. :)

Seriously, I love your post. I wish the OP would actually answer your questions. Though, of course, my wishes don't matter, because I'm just a slave. ::nod::

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)

Post #: 18

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 1:04:59 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

Pontificate if you must... ...... myself... I think I will just fart!!!

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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Post #: 19

RE: What it's not about. - 12/17/2010 1:08:12 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Pontificate if you must... ...... myself... I think I will just fart!!!

aaaaaaaaawww man... it was wet one!!! god I hate it when that happens!!!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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Post #: 20

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