RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (Full Version)

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powerless1 -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (4/30/2006 5:48:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

This is where I get confused - if I'm over his knee and he's spanking me with his hand we're not BDSM, but if I'm blindfolded and tied over a table, and he's caning me or using the crop, then we qualify?

I always thought it was all just part of the same thing, but creeping in from the shallow end of the pool. 

And thanks for the welcome, folks - I'm hoping to learn a lot here.


If OTK spanking is not BDSM then I'm in trouble already because that is my first preference in that part of the playing.  However, I will add that OTK spanking is quite pleasurable (for me anyway) if His fingers are um.....in just the right places (if you know what I mean).  I enjoy spanking for two reasons...first it's an awesome punishment whether it is done with the hand or an object, and second, because if it is done while His other hand is um....working elsewhere...then it is a great turnon and will make me hotter and more obedient....even when I'm not being disobedient.

Spanking is my favorite part of this lifestyle.  I fully agree with others that have said it is a matter of opinion and personal tastes.  Far be it from me to define what other folks might consider taboo in the BDSM lifestyle.  I mean....beauty is in the eye of the beholder! [;)]




Tapestry -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (4/30/2006 5:49:13 AM)

Recently, Arthur gave an incredible class on spanking at the Playhouse Studio in Baltimore for BESS.  If that isn't a basic form of BDSM then I don't know what is.  And yet, there really is nothing to be gained from the use of labels, in my opinion.  Just learn all you can and try what sounds interesting to you.  If you like it do it again, if you don't move on!  I've found that we're only limited by our own imaginations!




rapture2778 -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (4/30/2006 7:35:52 AM)

i think that if you consider yourself to be a "vanilla" couple but enjoy a good spanking in the bedroom every now and then, than you are a vanilla couple that has a kink or two or 6, or how many ever....if you are a Ds couple (better said a couple into BDSM i suppose) it would be considered BDSM play....point to the matter is this....who cares what your relationship is defined as, do the things you like because you enjoy them, not to gain "super" subbie status!  best of luck to you, and welcome!!!




Reasonable -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (4/30/2006 7:41:43 AM)

It's sensation play.




ExistentialSteel -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (4/30/2006 8:10:51 AM)

I have recently been on a spanking thing and try to do it to the point of spacing her so it would be hard for me not to think of it as a bdsm activity. It has an intimate quality of having her over my lap with us both nude, using my hand and being able to feel the changes as her skin heats up. I may also use it as a preliminary to caning or something else.

I have known total spankos in the past who were only into it with rituals and made it the only focus of their play. To me that was fun, but limiting. 




OTKkindaGirl -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (4/30/2006 8:14:08 AM)

OTK is such a reward for me... powerless1 you have tormented this girl relentlessly with your descriptive writing!    you don't seem as powerless as your name implies.  *wink*
forgive me but i have been sick now almost a week and am missing my Master terribly. 

i agree with everything you said though and welcome to the boards becca,  enjoy the journey.




BreakingGlass -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (4/30/2006 8:56:56 AM)

Welcome, welcome.  [:D]

My way of looking at it: I'm allowing him to spank me, even if it is just by hand.  (I prefer that contact.)   If I didn't want that it would get a definite "stop that, dammit" from me. 




Level -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (4/30/2006 9:06:20 AM)

Yes spanking is a part of BDSM, if you and your partner/s wish it to be, and many do.




Level -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (4/30/2006 9:08:06 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

There is a sub-group called spankophiles whose sole fetish is to spank and/or be spanked and it falls under the S/m part of BDSM. You are more than welcome here, becca.. pull up a chair and have a sit.. um.. if you can. ;)

Welcome to the boards.

Celeste


It can also fall under the BD part, as a form of discipline.




powerless1 -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (4/30/2006 9:17:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OTKkindaGirl

OTK is such a reward for me... powerless1 you have tormented this girl relentlessly with your descriptive writing!    you don't seem as powerless as your name implies.  *wink*
forgive me but i have been sick now almost a week and am missing my Master terribly. 

i agree with everything you said though and welcome to the boards becca,  enjoy the journey.


Thanks for the compliment on the writing.....That is something I've always been good at since grade school ((smiles)).  I try hard though not to make is show that much.

As for my name....it's twofold...first the obvious is that I am a submissive by nature;  And second, I am literally powerless over all actions, words, and deeds, done by others except my own.  It kind of keeps my attitude in focus.[;)]




mathiasdomm -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (4/30/2006 9:32:57 AM)

I think these communities exist so that people can be different together.  We're different from the larger public and each other, so if one spanks with a hand and another uses crockpots full of wax, that's to be expected, right?   If it makes you happy, you're good.  And if you're bad, you're among friends.  [sm=hello.gif]

-m




MG -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (4/30/2006 9:35:18 AM)

 
In Spanking there is always one who is being spanked and one who is spanking. Therefore there is an exchange of power whilst the spanking is being carried out. Furthermore, Spanking is quite plainly impact play and therefore a valid part bdsm.




Littlepita -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (4/30/2006 9:44:10 AM)

I totally consider the way my Sir and I do spanking to be BDSM. When I was in my vanilla marriage, he would swat my ass during doggie and even in some very light bondage play. I was in complete control of that situation however and it never got beyond some simple role-play.

With my Joe, when I am over his lap and his hand or some other implement of his choosing is laid upon my bare, exposed bottom there is no question as to who is in control. We have what we call Friday Night Spanking every week that we can make it happen, and for us it's very much in line with what we consider D/s for us. Plus, it does and can hurt like hell so how can you say it's not BDSM??? [&:]






LadyHugs -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (4/30/2006 10:02:40 AM)

Dear becca333, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Spanking spans/straddles between the vanilla and BDSM. It really depends if it is part of a vanilla relationship or a D/s and or M/s relationship.

There are at least 14 “stroke” styles in hand spanking, that gives different sensations, to include the “hand” being soft or hard. There are many positions in spanking as well.

Spanking can be sensual to sadistic and for sensual play to disciplinary. Really depends on the course the scene, be it vanilla and or BDSM play.

As far as I know, it is welcomed into the M/s, D/s, S&M (Sadomasochism) and BDSM.

It is part of the list of workshops with Master Taino’s Training Academy as well. I am the faculty member that heads this workshop currently, that addresses the M/s dynamic more than BDSM.

Spanking has been around for a long time. In history, there were such places called “The Spanking Clubs,” where everybody spanked each other and houses of debauchery, that added more than just spanking.

In the phases of introducing into spanking the hair brush, the sole of a slipper and such, the line blurs a bit as it now steps closer into the paddle and strap group; to which I also have in the workshop; which is not part of the whip group as a cane is. Paddles and straps are impact “tools/toys” to which amplifies the effect of bare hand and or gloved hand spanking may produce. It also spares the hand of the person spanking as well.

I will be brief on caning; as that is not the topic discussed-- caning is joined with the rod group. It also is worth mentioning that the strokes used in spanking transfer very well into caning, to which there are many styles, strokes and positions afforded in using canes, switches and or rods.  So, in some cases, one can say some of the stroke origins of cane strokes root from spanking.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs





becca333 -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (5/1/2006 6:14:42 AM)

Wow, LadyHugs, I'm in awe! 

14 stroke styles?  I've got a LOT of research to do!  Thanks for the ideas and the information.

And thank you to everyone for making me feel so at home.




JohnWarren -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (5/1/2006 6:53:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

Wow, LadyHugs, I'm in awe! 

14 stroke styles?  I've got a LOT of research to do!  Thanks for the ideas and the information.

And thank you to everyone for making me feel so at home.


A good source for information is The Complete Spanker by Janet Hardy (Lady Green) from Greenery Press www.greenerypress.com




Lashra -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (5/1/2006 6:57:56 AM)

Spanking is part of BDSM as far as I'm concerned, I know others would have a differing opinion. That is the one thing thats consistant everyone having a differing opinion of what is and isn't BDSM lol

I think you just have to decide for yourself and not worry about what other people may or may not think.

~Lashra




wytchywoman -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (5/1/2006 7:04:16 AM)

It's been my experience that a good number of people who are into spanking dont want to be associated with BDSM and will vehemently deny any involvement in it.

Again, like so many people have said, it's all in the perception.




JohnWarren -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (5/1/2006 7:47:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Spanking is part of BDSM as far as I'm concerned, I know others would have a differing opinion. That is the one thing thats consistant everyone having a differing opinion of what is and isn't BDSM lol

I think you just have to decide for yourself and not worry about what other people may or may not think.

~Lashra


If you'd like a bit of historical perspective (of limited use really when talking about what people mean by words today), BDSM was created as an umbrella term to replace wiitwd (what it is that we do) sometime during the 80s among the users of the newsgroup ASB.  The intent at the time was to create a term that encompassed bondage discipline domination submission sadism and masochism.





LadyHugs -> RE: The BDSM/Spanking question (5/1/2006 12:59:24 PM)

Dear becca333, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
This is a bit lengthy and it is copyrighted (I am the holder/author) but, perhaps it may be helpful.
 
Excerpt--
The “Passive Hand,” stroke is much like a very limp and loose hand. Like most people who go onto the playground and “dribble” a basketball on the playground when not in play. It is relaxed and with follow through with a loose, fluid and soft hand. Only the lightest touch is required to maintain the control of the basketball. Therefore, in identical manner the “Passive Hand” falls purposefully onto the crown of the buttocks and or peak of the buttocks cheek, then lifted with a relaxed and limp wrist. This is also a warm up stroke, to which can be used in an upward stroke under the breasts, buttocks and male genitals.
 
The “Skip Stroke,” also known as the “Scoop Stroke,” is when the hand skips along the surface of the body, such as skipping a rock across the water or if sliding two hand symbols against each other in a parade. It is a curved stroke, to which the hand is passive and much like turning on and off a light switch skims across the crown of the buttocks, upwards on the genitals.
 
The “Splay Hand,” which I would describe as your fingers as far apart from each other but remaining comfortable in it is spread. This gives an entirely different sensation as well as spreads the impact across more of the slave’s body.
 
The “Closed Hand” is as described. Closed fingers but not as tight and rigid as to become a paddle. It really the best fit of a description would be the hand at rest and relaxed position and not a fist. Most parents spank their children with such a hand “style” of which most people instinctively use when spanking.
 
The “Cupped Hand,” is a very interesting hand position. By cupping your hand, as if to scoop something and your hand is like a little shovel scoop, this position gives another sensation entirely. This is recommended for spanking over body jewelry and or piercing, avoiding contact with a previous injury and or genitals. It allows a hollow to where there can be a body displacement upon impact. This also would be a breast friendly stroke as well as male testicle and cock friendly.
 
The “Flat Hand,” to which is a rigid hand that acts more like a paddle then a hand. This is one of the harshest of strokes and would not be seen used anywhere other than the buttock, on the back shoulders area and rarely upon the male chest. This stroke can interrupt a person’s heartbeat on the chest area much like a punch, so it
is highly recommended to stay on the buttocks --Period!
 
The “Hit and Lift” stroke. Probably the instinctive stroke in spanking, paddling and caning you will find around the globe. Once the touch to the target the hand, paddle and or cane is immediately lifted. By doing this the heat of the pain from the strike will dissipate and slightly radiate from the target site.
 
The “Hit and Hold” stroke. This stroke is when you hit the buttocks or targeted area and hold it against the skin, not lifting it for a few moments. By holding the hand without lifting, the warmth is maintained and amplified, to which sends the heat more widespread and deeper. This holds true with paddles and canes -- not just hand spanking.
 
The “Hit and Slide” stroke. In striking the target site and then slide across, the sensation will feel as if the hand has impacted and heat radiates yet, when it is sliding immediately after the strike, feels like skin is melting and sliding in the direction of the hand sliding off their buttocks. I would not advise this stroke to be used anywhere but the buttocks and maybe a person’s back shoulder area. This stroke is hard to perfect as a spanking stroke however, it is wonderful for paddles and better yet with canes. It is even more profound if there is a textured cane, as the heated skin will feel the texture and will be as if someone is pulling string through a buttonhole. [[Special note-holding the cane with a loose grip and when impacting the bottom's bottom, shut the hand closed tight, moves the cane as to drag it over the impact site.  One can take two ends of a piece of rope/leather, one side hold it tight and firm, the other laying in the palm or across the fingers open hand, slowly close the hand until it is a tight fist equal to the one providing the tension, there will be a pull.  Equestrians know by pinching 2 fingers together, telegraphs to the horse's bit and enough to slow/stop the horse--same principle]]
 
The “Hit and Pull” stroke. Now, this stroke can only be used in spanking bare handedly. When the hand strikes the target site the hand is lifted and fingers come together as pulling or gathering items in the tips of the finger. This gentle draw of fingers inwardly gives the sensation of the skin being pulled, yet the dominant’s fingers will be empty.
 
The “Punch Stroke,” is when the fist is balled up as to “punch” a site. This should not be used unless the slave is very aware of this stroke.  This should not be used anywhere other than the muscled area of the chest, not directly on breasts (male or female), on the muscled part of the upper back and the buttocks cheeks at their crown. The dominant must never wear rings or other jewelry on their hands or fingers with this stroke. It would be a good idea not to wear jewelry period for spanking period.
 
The “Pound Stroke,” is the area of the side of the hand, along the little finger and ridge of the hand to the wrists. Not exactly, like a Karate Chop but a balled fist but using the side of the fist.
 
The “Back Hand” stroke is exactly that. The back of the hand and relaxed. Again, no jewelry on the fingers. This is especially important for women to remember, with their settings more often are high and off the finger can be crushed, loosing a stone and most importantly will puncture the body of the slave.
 
Spanking with gloves. Little is written about the additional sensations offered by the dominant with a gloved hand. Wearing leather gloves, cloth gloves, gardening gloves, driving gloves, lace gloves and or velvet gloves can provide most interesting sensations indeed. The use of gloves is to add texture and different sensations to what spanking stroke or technique one employs during their spanking session.  [Excerpt]

Respectfully submitted and copyrighted,
Lady Hugs




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