JstAnotherSub
Posts: 6174
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I know the title is a love song, of sorts, but it has been running through my head for a few days now, totally unrelated to love and loss. Or maybe, it is due to love and loss. Who the hell knows. Ten years ago December 29th, I held my moms hand as she took her last breath. It was after having her in home hospice for a few weeks, and was the hardest, and most fulfilling thing, I ever have done. Time heals the pain, and I think of her mostly with a smile on my face nowadays. Death sucks, that is for sure, but that really isn't what this is about. When I realized it had been ten years, it has really kinda thwapped me upside the head. So much has changed. Divorced for eight years now, got a great job that I love, been totally on my own and still amazed most days that I am actually ok and doing pretty damn good. But, ten years. It is like I fucking blinked and ten years had passed. At first, it seemed like another lifetime that it happened in, now it seems like yesterday. I don't know if this is one of those aha moments in my life, or if it is just another time of realizing how short life is and how quickly it really passes. I just know I don't want to blink and have 10 more pass without me being able to really look back on them and think dammit I lived those 10 years, didn't just exist and survive them. The contentment I have been so comfortable in for the past few years now feels like a rut. I don't know why my head does shit like this when I get a couple weeks off-lol. Merry Christmas, and hug ya family if they are still here. I am gonna listen to a lot of Willie today too! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSxFiM41u8s&feature=related
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