RE: Is BDSM a choice or are we born this way?

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RE: Is BDSM a choice or are we born this way? - 12/21/2010 9:21:21 PM

LoveSparkie

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I think its a bit of both. Some have more submissive personalities, while others have more dominant personalities. But I think it's our choice in how far we want to take it. Just because one is submissive, doesn't mean they have to ever serve anyone and vice versa.

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RE: Is BDSM a choice or are we born this way? - 12/21/2010 11:09:15 PM

TheRaptorJesus

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From a biological standpoint...

Submissive and dominant traits are nature...

Kinks are nurture...

In my infallible opinion.

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RE: Is BDSM a choice or are we born this way? - 12/21/2010 11:45:10 PM

DMFParadox

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The scope is too large, and the sample space too narrow to apply to this question.

From one standpoint, everything we do is something we're born to do. A lot of people tend to focus on questions of behavior as nature vs. nurture, and forget that the strongest factors affecting our lives - breathing, eating, sex and childbearing, two arms, two eyes, the ability to hear high C, see color, understand one another - all 'nature'. Making 'nurture' a small island in a very large ocean of personhood. Surrounded by and contained within.

From a different standpoint, everything we do is a choice. The factors informing those choices are so vast, and so omnipresent, that they are essentially meaningless; it's the small straws tipping the balance we focus on, because we have the sense that we can do something about the straw. Often, we're right about that. That too is a choice, one of perception.

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RE: Is BDSM a choice or are we born this way? - 12/22/2010 10:19:05 AM

Courageouscrusoe

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perhaps these feeling are there and we nurture them into desires by giving them more and more attention

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RE: Is BDSM a choice or are we born this way? - 12/22/2010 10:42:49 AM

Twoshoes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
Nature AND nurture. Part of our personalities are genetic, and part are developed in childhood. You don't have to be abused to develop an attraction to being told what to do, or a craving for control. I personally think it has a lot to do with different pleasurable experiences/self-defense mechanisms/fears in childhood combined with certain inherent traits that encourage specific sexual proclivities. There's a lot of psychological research out there that says the things said and done to you during your formative years will make you who you are, and there's a lot of scientific research out there that says genetics play a huge role in determining personality traits. So both, probably.

I agree with this.

E: For me, though, it feels like 85% of BDSM would fall into the "I have a choice about that, since I don't actually NEED it category" and then there is 15% that I can only briefly fool myself about not needing.