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Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/1/2004 9:16:22 PM

masterzpet

Posts: 30
Joined: 9/12/2004
From: Idaho
Status: offline

dead, shouldn't you call to say you are late or not coming if you are to meet someone?

I mean really! Those are about the only 2 things that would keep me from letting the other person know.

What say you? Are there any other GOOD reasons for not making a 2 minute phone call if needed?

I'm 41 yrs old and have never been stood up... til recently and now yet again by the same person. The first time, there was a family emergency (he could have called) but I understood and forgave him. Now he's done it again.

Things were going so well too... or so I thought? sigh

Post #: 1

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/1/2004 9:32:03 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

Pet, is this the dom you mentioned in your introduction or a new one?

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to masterzpet)

Post #: 2

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/1/2004 9:33:08 PM

masterzpet

Posts: 30
Joined: 9/12/2004
From: Idaho
Status: offline

Hi, the same one... there is only one.

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 3

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/1/2004 9:58:36 PM

LadyBeckett

Posts: 865
Joined: 2/4/2004
From: Scotland/Tennessee
Status: offline

You're right, if he isn't pre-occupied with the life threatening situation of someone very close to him, or himself, then he could pick up the phone and let you know something. Good guys are just that, good guys, and they are forgivable, but they aren't always the "right" guys. It looks like you've got some things to consider in this relationship.

_____________________________

Lady Beckett

_______________________________________________

"Submissive boys yearn to fall into their proper place, so the rest of their life will." ~ Lady Beckett

(in reply to masterzpet)

Post #: 4

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/2/2004 2:25:17 AM

starshine

Posts: 40
Joined: 7/28/2004
From: London
Status: offline

If stuck in a traffic jam without a mobile phone (cell phone) or if stuck in a tunnel on the underground with no signal then I'd find it slightly acceptable - otherwise, its the height of rudeness and as LadyBeckett said, I think you have some long, hard thinking to do... *hugz*.

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Leave home earlier - live another day!

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Post #: 5

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/2/2004 6:38:29 AM

masterzpet

Posts: 30
Joined: 9/12/2004
From: Idaho
Status: offline

morning. No phone call came, no message or email either.

I woke up this morning and found a bag by the door. It had some things in it that I let him keep at his house and a note that just said he was sorry but this wasn't for him.

I don't know what to think. I'm not for him? He suddenly isn't Dom any more?

Guess I should just forget it and move on but I invested a lot of time and self giving in this and it is hard to do with no real ending and no real reason and no indication whatsoever that this was coming

(in reply to starshine)

Post #: 6

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/2/2004 8:15:55 AM

subbiejenn

Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: masterzpet

morning. No phone call came, no message or email either.

I woke up this morning and found a bag by the door. It had some things in it that I let him keep at his house and a note that just said he was sorry but this wasn't for him.

I don't know what to think. I'm not for him? He suddenly isn't Dom any more?

Guess I should just forget it and move on but I invested a lot of time and self giving in this and it is hard to do with no real ending and no real reason and no indication whatsoever that this was coming

Hugs masterzpet

Relationships are hard; don't let this get you down! Don't blame yourself as i know as submissives we do that a lot. i think He is a coward and not a true Dom at this point because how He did this. A true Dom is strong (in my eyes) He should of talked to you about this and explained why it wasn't working for Him and not take the easy way out and leave a note.

In the long way sweetie i think its best you found out now. i know it is hard but keep your chin up there are many "real" Doms here at CM. maybe is best to consider this a learning experience, learn from it and move on...

if you need a shoulder to lean/cry on i am online a lot my yahoo Messenger name is imjustfukinpeachy. You can IM me anytime if you need someone to talk too.

Hugs again, you can get though this and be a stronger person from it.

< Message edited by subbiejenn -- 10/2/2004 8:17:23 AM >

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to masterzpet)

Post #: 7

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/2/2004 8:19:03 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

I woke up this morning and found a bag by the door. It had some things in it that I let him keep at his house and a note that just said he was sorry but this wasn't for him.

I don't know what to think. I'm not for him? He suddenly isn't Dom any more?

I have to echo what Jenn said. Keep your head up this wasn't because of you. It was his own inner confliced feelings. I'm sure if anything you made it a harder decision by being a good submissive.
Consider yourself lucky it didn't go on for too long. At least now you can start to heal. I'm sure you've learned a few valuable lessons along the way as well.

(in reply to masterzpet)

Post #: 8

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/2/2004 9:05:14 AM

MaitresseEden

Posts: 477
Joined: 8/8/2004
From: Houston, Texas
Status: offline

http://www.oprah.com/tows/booksseen/200409/tows_book_20040922_behrendttruccillo.jhtml

This was a topic about a book recently on OPRAH.. Above is the link to info about it, and below are a few snippets I find all woman should embrace and hold as there standard.

Ms. Eden

In their new book, He's Just Not That Into You, Greg and Liz have written a set of new dating standards for women. They want women to raise the bar for themselves.

Standard-Raising Suggestions
I will not go out with a man who:
(a) Keeps me waiting by the phone
(b) Is not sure he wants to date me
(c) Makes me feel sexually undesirable
(d) Drinks or does drugs to an extent that makes me uncomfortable
(e) Fears talking about our future
(f) Is married

I will not, under any circumstances, spend my precious time with a man who has already rejected me or who is not clearly a good, kind, loving person.

Liberating Vocabulary
Friend: A person who is your pal. What it generally means in relationships is he's just not that into you.

Busy: Busy means I'm the President of the United States. I'm an astronaut and I'm on another planet. I'm in a really successful band. What it means in relationships is, yeah, I'm just not that into you.

Bad boy: A bad boy is just a bad boy. Stay away. If you're dating somebody that's a bad boy, that's just your fault. If you say "my boyfriend's kind of a bad boy," I feel bad for you. If you say, "I like bad boys" well, then I don't feel bad for you. If you say, "I like things that don't work." Okay, good for you. Generally, guys with low self-esteem aren't worth the trouble. They're just not.

The Dog Pound
Question: So how do you screen for dogs? Answer: You just don't let him be a dog. Your standards are so high you don't let him be a dog. You can't be played if you're not playing. What I want to say that is so key for everybody to get. Nobody—even if a dog has been a dog. He has been head of the pound. Head of the dog pound. If he meets the right person, he will change his dog pound ways. He just will.

Question: How can I tell if he thinks I'm worth it? Answer: If the guy thinks you're worth it, he will do whatever is necessary if he thinks you're worth it. All the guys are nodding. Because he raised the bar and he wants to raise the bar to meet you where you are, if he thinks you're worth it. If he doesn't, then he doesn't. He's just not that into you. And you—we all—should have another standard.

_____________________________

"If I didnt define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other peoples fantasies for me and eaten alive. - Audre Lorde"

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 9

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/2/2004 9:42:48 AM

masterzpet

Posts: 30
Joined: 9/12/2004
From: Idaho
Status: offline

Thank you all for the replies. It doesn't make me feel any better but least I can come here and get it out.

Ms Eden, that is some very good advice....and I do follow it believe it or not. There were no warning signs whatsoever with this one.

My favorite saying is "Don't make bouquets out of the red flags" ... and I don't.

(in reply to MaitresseEden)

Post #: 10

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/2/2004 12:21:54 PM

smile2cu

Posts: 265
Joined: 7/21/2004
From: Dayton, OH
Status: offline

As mentioned, relationships are hard, but from what you've described you're much better off without him.

You'll have to move on, as you really don't have any other choice. You need not forget it, but all indications, such as the no call, no face-to-face end would beem to indicate that this is someone you really don't need.

After a suitable period of self blame, which probably can't be avoided, but can be passed through, you'll probably realize that the fault is mostly elsewhere.

If any of us can offer solace, count on us. We're here for one another.

~smile~ (yes, even now)

< Message edited by smile2cu -- 10/2/2004 12:36:18 PM >

(in reply to masterzpet)

Post #: 11

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/2/2004 1:33:05 PM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Whatever the reasons are, is irrelevant now. By the way he has handled the situation should tell you that you are better off without him.

(in reply to masterzpet)

Post #: 12

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/2/2004 5:06:24 PM

masterzpet

Posts: 30
Joined: 9/12/2004
From: Idaho
Status: offline

thanks again to all who replied here and special thanks to Lady Beckett who took her time this morning to email with me. I do feel somewhat better now.

(in reply to Estring)

Post #: 13

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/2/2004 10:58:46 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

I woke up this morning and found a bag by the door. It had some things in it that I let him keep at his house and a note that just said he was sorry but this wasn't for him.

So sorry pet. I think that's a chicken shit way to dump someone.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to masterzpet)

Post #: 14

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/3/2004 8:26:21 AM

masterzpet

Posts: 30
Joined: 9/12/2004
From: Idaho
Status: offline

proudsub, thanks for saying it like that... I've never been dumped before! lol
It makes me laugh because, although I would never do it like he did, I am the dumper so I guess it was my turn finally.

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 15

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/3/2004 8:33:52 AM

Thanatosian

Posts: 765
Joined: 5/10/2004
From: New Castle, PA
Status: offline

I would like to echo what proud said - emphasis on the chicken part. And this guy is supposed to be a dom?? To me, this is quite undomly behaviour, not to mention ungentlemanly - what a wuss - maybe you should point him in some trollDommes (i.e. dont know squat, thinks its all about verbal abuse and money domination, likely to strip skin with a whip, etc.) direction so he can get what he is acting like he wants/deserves.

_____________________________

Apply Usual Caveats Here

An expert is somone who has made all the mistakes there are to be made

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Post #: 16

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/3/2004 8:46:12 AM

masterzpet

Posts: 30
Joined: 9/12/2004
From: Idaho
Status: offline

well, while he isn't to be excused for his poor behavior, I still believe he is a good person and wish him well. Just wish I knew what prompted this so I can better move on rather than wonder.

(in reply to Thanatosian)

Post #: 17

RE: Unless you are laying unconscious or.... - 10/3/2004 10:27:48 AM

Sundew02

Posts: 457
Joined: 2/6/2004
Status: offline

I understand the need to reevaluate, possibly seek to improve yourself following this occurence. But stop first and think, was I trying to do my best? WAS this the best I could offer? If you can truthfully say yes, then let it go.
Good guy or not, manners are manners, we should all employ them. Closure is just as important as initiating a D/s relationship. Take care, Sundew

_____________________________

~~~~~Enjoy the ride, the landing could get painful~~~~

(in reply to masterzpet)

Post #: 18

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